The Mindset and Self-Mastery Show

Nick McGowan
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On The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show, Nick and his guests have real, honest conversations about mindset, self-mastery, and transformation. We explore trauma, healing, purpose, and the breakthrough moments that redefine our lives. Whether you’re looking to get ahead in your career, make major changes in your life, or simply live with less stress, then how you manage your mindset matters more than you may know. If you’re ready to grow through what you’ve been through and step into deeper transformation, you’re in the right place. Remember, your mindset matters. And so do you!

  1. APR 9

    How Confidence And Certainty Factor Into Personal Growth with Nick McGowan

    “Healing shapes how confident and certain we feel.” In this episode, Nick explores the concepts of confidence and certainty, their differences, and how they influence personal growth. He discusses practical insights on how understanding these can improve mindset, decision-making, and emotional resilience. What to listen for: Difference between confidence and certainty How confidence impacts decision-making The role of certainty in personal growth Practical ways to build confidence and certainty “If we don’t have confidence, we’re probably pretty uncertain about something.” There’s a reason for a lack of confidence; it doesn’t just appear Confidence and certainty can be tied together unconsciously Exploring our feelings and mindset heading into a situation can shape our confidence “Confidence in the work, certainty in the results.” Results can be hard to predict when external factors are involved Clarity in purpose can drastically change how confident we are going into any situation Trusting the process of your work can alleviate stress and keep you focused on the task that you know will result in the outcome you want About Nick McGowan I’m Nick McGowan, an entrepreneur, podcaster, and mental health advocate, and I’ve been on a 20+ year journey of personal development, learning to master my mindset, emotions, and the art of living with purpose. As a Mindset and Self-Mastery Mentor, I work with ambitious men and women who want to live their most authentic and joyous lives by helping them master their mindset, emotional awareness, and authentic communication. My mission is to empower people to lead lives that feel aligned, grounded, and truly their own. Throughout my career, I’ve built teams, streamlined systems, and improved client experiences across SaaS, media, marketing, and personal development spaces. Whether I’m leading cross-functional projects, optimizing SEO, Podcasting, designing strategies, or guiding clients through transformation, I bring a hands-on, solution-focused approach to everything I do. I’m also the host of The Mindset and Self-Mastery Show, where my guests and I unpack the stories that shape us, challenge us, and ultimately guide us back to who we are at our core. On this show, we uncover the secret gems others have discovered through trial and error and breakthroughs, so you can fast-track your growth and master your mindset in your pursuit of self-mastery. Check out the latest episode here. With years of podcasting and two decades of marketing experience, I’ve mastered the storytelling, interview flow, strategy, and technical production that elevate a podcast from “just content” to something truly impactful. Whether you’re a leader looking to amplify your message, a seasoned speaker and podcast host looking to sharpen your edge, or even a beginner who is wondering how to share their message, I mentor thought leaders through every step of having the conversation they’re here to have on this planet. So, what message are you here to share?! https://nickmcgowan.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/thenickmcgowan/ Resources: Check out other episodes about our confidence and clarity Finding Confidence Through Grief and Psychic Mediumship With Karen Romine Become A Person Of Value With Jeevan Matharu Interested in starting your own podcast or need help with one you already have? https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/podcasting-services/ Learn more about our host, Nick McGowan https://nickmcgowan.com/ Thank you for listening! Please subscribe on iTunes and give us a 5-Star review! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mindset-and-self-mastery-show/id1604262089 Listen to other episodes here: https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/ Watch Clips and highlights: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk1tCM7KTe3hrq_-UAa6GHA Guest Inquiries right here: podcasts@themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show” Click Here To View The Episode Transcript Nick McGowan 00:00 No matter what we’ve done in life or what we’re doing right now, whether that’s purpose work, working on past traumas and really trying to figure out how to manage our mindset on a daily, it comes down to us understanding from a confidence perspective that you may be confident in the thing that you’re doing. It’s not the exact same as being certain in how you’re going about it. Nick McGowan 00:28 Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self-Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. Today on the show, I wanna talk about how confidence and certainty factor into personal growth. What is confidence, and what is certainty? Confidence is feeling like you’re able to actually get something done. It’s really the intent for the impact that you wanna have. You’re confident that you feel like you can get this thing done, whatever that thing is. Certainty is 100 % knowing that it’s going to happen. Nick McGowan 00:58 And there’s a small little bit of difference between those and really kind of a gray area where certainty and confidence can intersect, but they can also play at odds with each other. If you go into something certain that something’s going to happen, you’re going to lack confidence or maybe you’re going to have a bit more confidence. I think about it in the sense of if you know that you want to go in and have a really tough conversation with somebody you work with, that’s different. Nick McGowan 01:26 than a tough conversation with your partner or your spouse or somebody that you love. You may be certain going into that, that you have the facts, you have the things together, you need to be able to have the proper conversation. And you can feel confident knowing that you have those, but anything can happen at that point. Somebody could say something, somebody could bring something up that you’re unaware of, and that can knock down your confidence. That could absolutely destroy your certainty at that point. Nick McGowan 01:55 So if you think of confidence, just being confident in moving through the world, I’m sure you’ve seen different people that seem to be super confident, but have no idea what they’re doing in life. When you’re confident and you have this internal belief that what you’re doing, you’re going to give it your all and that you’re able to move into something without any hesitation, that’s vastly different than even having some confidence. Nick McGowan 02:21 Like if you kinda know I’m gonna move into this situation or this conversation and I feel good about what I’m doing, that’s vastly different than being able to move into something with full confidence. You’ve experienced that, we’ve all experienced that. No matter what we’ve done in life or what we’re doing right now, whether that’s purpose work or that’s working on past traumas and really trying to figure out how to manage our mindset on a daily, it comes down to us understanding from a confidence perspective. Nick McGowan 02:51 that you may be confident in the thing that you’re doing. It’s not the exact same as being certain in how you’re going about it. Makes me think of when people talk about practicing, practice makes perfect. I’ve also heard that if you practice the wrong things, of course you’re not gonna be perfect in what you’re trying to be perfect in, which makes sense. That’s kind of a duh situation. A lot of people will actually go through life working on things that they think they need to work on and being confident that they’re working Nick McGowan 03:19 on the things that they’re working on that actually tie to deeper core wounds and will make actual change in their life. They’re not certain about it. And finding certainty in what you’re doing can really take a level of confidence, but also a level of understanding and empathy and courageousness to be able to move through something with certainty. I feel like some of this may be a bit ambiguous and I’m somewhat trying to keep it that way because Nick McGowan 03:48 your situation in life and your context is different than mine. Even if they’re similar, there’s still nuances and differences and things that we go through that maybe affect us differently or affect the way that we handle situations differently or the way that we view life on the daily. When I think of confidence and I think of certainty tying into and really factoring into our personal growth, I think about being confident in myself being able to do the work. Nick McGowan 04:17 And even if I don’t always feel certain that the work will help me grow and change, I am confident in the patterns that I’ve seen over the course of time and how things work, which then ties back into my certainty. Let’s think about that. For confident in the things that we’re doing and we’re working on, certainty can come along with that as we see examples of how things work, like the work that we’re doing for ourself. Nick McGowan 04:43 As a prime example, if you’re going through therapy right now, maybe you’ve been in therapy for years and years and years. I am certain that therapy works, but I’m uncertain if what you’re doing right now is actually working for you. The modality may need to be changed up. If you’re doing talk therapy right now, maybe it’s EMDR or DBT or something that really gets deeper to your subconscious to be able to rewrite those stories and change those. I’m certain that Nick McGowan 05:12 Anything like that can ultimately help, but I’m uncertain of what’s exactly going to help you. If you’re confident and moving through and trying the different modalities, you can also be certain that health and happiness and growth will come from that. If we think about being able to tie the two together, if we don’t have confidence, we’re probably pretty uncertain about something. If we’re certain about som

    7 min
  2. Transforming Trauma Into Purpose and Identity with Amber Richbook

    MAR 26

    Transforming Trauma Into Purpose and Identity with Amber Richbook

    “If you heal yourself, you have the ability to heal generations before and after you.” In this episode, Nick speaks with Amber Richbook about her journey through identity, subconscious beliefs, and the impact of generational trauma. They explore the importance of awareness and the role of cultural identity in shaping our experiences and ultimately who we believe we are and what our “identity” means to us. What to listen for: We all have gifts and abilities that can be realized Coincidences are often signs that require investigation Generational trauma impacts our identities and experiences Healing is a personal journey that affects generations Self-mastery requires the willingness to change our identity as we grow Awareness is crucial for personal growth and healing Our identity is fluid “We all have different generational things running through our veins. What are we going to do with them? How are we going to reconcile? How are we going to bring the healing?” Healing is our responsibility, no matter what our parents passed to us genetically Understanding what our family history is can sometimes shed light on our current struggles Epigenetics research is increasingly validating that generational trauma not only exists but has real repercussions on future generations “You must be willing to change identities as many times and as often as you feel led to” What we believe our “identity” is, isn’t always accurate or remotely current The hesitance for change is normal, but being willing to adapt and evolve is critical for personal growth Changing identities isn’t about becoming someone else; it’s about uncovering more of who you are at your core About Amber Richbook Amber Richbook is a transformational speaker and identity-shift coach who helps people move from simply existing to fully living. Through keynotes, coaching, and her podcast Meaningful Conversations, she teaches individuals to break self-limiting beliefs and take practical steps toward authentic, purpose-driven lives. She is a TEDx speaker and has appeared on PBS and corporate leadership platforms. Her mission is to become the go-to voice for mindset and identity transformation for a new generation. https://www.arichbook.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/arichbook/ https://www.instagram.com/a.richbook/ Resources: Check out other episodes about identity: Processing Our Childhood Traumas With Jeremy Stegall Exploring The Role Of DEI In Healing And Growth With Corey Williams How To Embrace Your Identity And Inner Strength With Rich Vysion Love and Faith Beyond Identity and Labels With Carl King Exploring Human Design For Self-Mastery With Akary Busto Interested in starting your own podcast or need help with one you already have? https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/podcasting-services/ Learn more about our host, Nick McGowan: https://nickmcgowan.com Thank you for listening! Please subscribe on iTunes and give us a 5-Star review! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mindset-and-self-mastery-show/id1604262089 Listen to other episodes here: https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/ Watch Clips and highlights: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk1tCM7KTe3hrq_-UAa6GHA Guest Inquiries right here: podcasts@themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show” Click Here To View The Episode Transcript Nick McGowan (00:00.495) Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. Today on the show we have Amber Richbook. Amber, how are doing today? Amber RichBook (00:22.403) Well, how are you Nick? Thank you for having me. Nick McGowan (00:25.679) Yeah, absolutely. We were just shooting the shit for like a solid half hour. And again, one of those situations like let’s just record. So I’m stoked for you to be here. I think this is gonna be cool. We’re gonna get into a lot to talk about identity, subconscious limiting beliefs and your story. And even talking about regional and generational trauma and some of the things I’ve talked about on different episodes. But I think identity is a big part of that. I always like to start episodes off with something that’s a little Amber RichBook (00:29.846) I know. Nick McGowan (00:54.319) odd or bizarre about you that most people don’t know. So what do you got for me? Amber RichBook (00:58.19) Okay, so one of my bizarre weird things that people don’t know about me is that I wrote about my life as a single mother of three daughters when I was in the first grade and my mom She kept like this big bag, like everywhere we moved to, this was like this big bag of childhood memorabilia from myself and my siblings of things we drew and wrote in kindergarten, pre-K, first grade, second grade, like the little macaroni art that’s like happy Mother’s Day. Here’s a flower with glue and there’s missing pieces on it. And so, you know, in first grade when they have the writing pads with the story and you draw the little ugly picture and you think like, Nick McGowan (01:32.655) Yeah, of course. Amber RichBook (01:44.014) And it’s like Miss A takes her three daughters and the names were like J, E, A, like they were all like names with those initials. And my daughter’s names now have the initials J, A, and E. To get ice cream and they love driving in their really big truck. and they love doing all these fun things together. They like dancing. like, there was no, was just this Miss A. and her three daughters. And I remember years ago when I, well, my mom was like, kind of like, all right, you guys are grown, take your shit. Like I saved all of it. Let me show you guys that I actually cared about you as children. Like do with it what you want. I’m like, okay, so let me go through my stuff. And I’m just sitting there and I’m reading it. And I was like, can I curse? I was like, okay. Nick McGowan (02:27.96) Yeah. Nick McGowan (02:40.958) yeah. Amber RichBook (02:42.86) I was like, Amber, what the f**k were you writing about in the f*****g first grade? Like you’re writing about being a mom. Now, fun fact, I was the child, the friend, even in high school that used to call kids creatures. I was like, ill, be a mom. That’s so disgusting. Motherhood. So now there’s a running joke. Like every mother’s day, my friends from high school and college are like, dude, how did you become a mom? Nick McGowan (02:45.443) Yeah. Amber RichBook (03:09.836) Like that’s the joke. Like you’re a mom, bro. None of them are mothers, but I’m a mom. Dude, how did that happen? So I think that’s interesting because one of my favorite books is The Alchemist. I talk about it in my, started my Ted talk with it and it was like, we really go on this journey of life and all you’re doing is getting back to the core of who you are. Nick McGowan (03:10.179) You Nick McGowan (03:14.423) Ugh. Nick McGowan (03:36.569) Yeah. Amber RichBook (03:36.992) and your inner child, like those youthful experience where your imagination is purely untamed, not realizing that many of us have these gifts. We all have these gifts and abilities, but where were they most active? How were they most active? and I’ll just layer it with this before I give it back to you. There was a thread that I saw recently that said, healers, spiritual people, did you have a near death experience that confirmed your abilities, et cetera, et cetera? And when I was born, Nick McGowan (04:10.863) Mm-hmm. Amber RichBook (04:13.942) I only had eight minutes to live. Eight is my favorite number. Eight is when I was eight years old. That was like my favorite age. Schoolhouse rock was like a thing when I was growing up. So it was like the figure eight song. I loved eight. When I was in school, I was always drawing eight. I was always like just fascinated with eight. And my birthday is on a 26. So two plus six equals eight. And so. Nick McGowan (04:26.704) yeah. Amber RichBook (04:43.118) start reflecting on these things and you’re like oh here are how all the dots connect in my life in my reality in my experience so yeah i’m a little woo woo Nick McGowan (04:56.431) I don’t think it’s as much woo woo as it’s looking for patterns of things. I’m similar in the sense where I look, like we were talking about even signs before we hit record, looking for signs. I think there’s a level of awareness. And if you’re aware of something, you can at least say, well, that’s something. I don’t particularly agree that there are like coincidences in the world. I think there are things that line up, but then there are also things that just don’t make sense. Like I remember saying, Amber RichBook (05:07.148) Yeah. Amber RichBook (05:19.534) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nick McGowan (05:25.679) People saying to me like years and years and years ago like you might read something in a book or like the Bible or whatever and it doesn’t make any sense at all and then years later it punches you right in the mouth like there are times literally within the Bible or God’s like this thing today means the most thing to you and you’re like, whoa What what does that mean and you’ve read it 400 billion times? Or you’ve seen a situation or whatever. I think there’s a power of being aware to be able to see those things but then Amber RichBook (05:36.183) Yep. Nick McGowan (05:53.229) like you had even said before we hit record, and we probably should have just hit record way early, was that it’s our responsibility to do something with that. And it’s what we get to do with it from there that actually shapes the way that future generations and all of those sort of things. It’s interesting to me, like right off the bat when you said, I wrote that out in first grade and now I’m living it, because I remember people in grade school thinking or writing out like a five year, 10 year plan. Amber RichBook (05:56.942) you Amber RichBoo

    43 min
  3. How Cancer Forced A Complete Life Reset With Edward Miskie

    MAR 12

    How Cancer Forced A Complete Life Reset With Edward Miskie

    “Cancer didn’t just change my life; in a lot of ways, it saved it.” In this episode, Nick speaks with writer and cancer survivor Edward Miskie about identity, resilience, and rebuilding life after cancer. Edward shares his journey through alcoholism, a rare and aggressive cancer diagnosis at 25, and the emotional fallout of survival. He opens up about losing who he was, shedding old identities, learning to create a new version of himself, and the power found in asking yourself what you truly want. What to listen for: Cancer stripped away his sense of identity and derailed every plan he had for his life. Coping took many unhealthy forms, such as alcohol, casual sex, and escapism, etc. All attempts to feel “normal.” Humor, community, and intentionally creating fun moments helped him survive emotionally. After treatment ends, survivors lose their daily medical support system and feel like they’re free-falling. “The question that changed everything for me was simply: What do you want?” Asking what we want puts us back in charge of our lives Whether you’re in tune with your intuition or not, asking what you want will most often bring up an answer, even if it’s surface-level; it’s a start Taking charge of your life doens’t always mean taking action first; it often starts with a simple question “Humor and fun helped me survive the darkest moments, even when it felt impossible.” Escaping or bypassing is never the answer to healing; however, a subtle mental shift can be just what is needed to keep moving Finding “fun” and humor in life often leads to quicker resiliency Life sucks at times. Why not have fun as best we can in every situation, no matter how dark or dire? About Edward Miskie Edward is currently celebrating 13 years as a sole survivor of a rare Non_Hodgkin’s Lymphoma with the publishing of his book Cancer, Musical Theatre, & Other Chronic Illnesses, available at Barnes & Nobel, Apple Books, Walmart, Amazon, and others. For the last 20 years, Edward has spent his life in NYC writing, producing, and performing. https://www.edwardmiskie.com/ https://www.remissionfilmfest.com/ https://instagram.com/edwardmiskie https://www.tiktok.com/@edwardmiskie Resources: Check out other episodes about life change from cancer Cancer Doesn’t Define Your Life, You Do, Embrace The Suck Unpacking A Five-Time Cancer Survivor’s Journey With Shariann Tom Interested in starting your own podcast or need help with one you already have? https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/podcasting-services/ Thank you for listening! Please subscribe on iTunes and give us a 5-Star review! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mindset-and-self-mastery-show/id1604262089 Listen to other episodes here: https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/ Watch Clips and highlights: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk1tCM7KTe3hrq_-UAa6GHA Guest Inquiries right here: podcasts@themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show” Click Here To View The Episode Transcript Nick McGowan (00:01.23) Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. Today on the show we have Edward Miske. Edward, how are doing today? Edward Miskie (he/him) (00:11.107) How are you? Nick McGowan (00:12.376) I’m good, I’m good. I know we’ve had just a little bit of technical issues getting things started, but here we are. I’m excited to talk to somebody who’s from the Northeast. I know when I was describing how the show would be, I was like, here’s kind of a Northeast can of how it’s gonna be. But we’re gonna talk about a pretty f*****g heavy topic that sadly a lot of people either experience or know somebody that is going through it or has gone through it. And I f*****g hate cancer and I know you do as well. So man, I’m glad that you’re here. Why don’t you get us started? Tell us what you do for a living and what’s one thing most people don’t know about you that’s maybe a little odd or bizarre. Edward Miskie (he/him) (00:51.36) Sure, okay, so I pay my bills working in corporate America, but outside of that, I’m a writer and I consider myself to be a producer in either live or TV film world. It’s been a long journey. I used to do musical theater and some TV and film, and here we are. Here we have landed in this kind of iteration of that life. thing about me that is kind of weird, bizarre. actually like, and this might be a little bit mild for you, but like, I consider myself more recently than not to be an introvert. And I always thought that I was an extrovert, but that was actually just because I was drinking enough to become an extrovert to kind of like, settle the introverted, introverted want to go home. And I felt kind of obligated to fight that and stay out and be around people and do all the social things. there is a point to which I really did like that. But it just turned me into an alcoholic. And so I stopped drinking and embraced the fact that I’m more of an introvert than anything. Nick McGowan (02:08.718) I don’t think that’s mild and actually man, that’s spot on with my own life. I think there are a lot of us that think, we have to do this sort of thing. Like we have to go out. Like people work in a corporate office, let’s say every Thursday night, everybody goes out to this one specific bar for happy hour. And they all talk about the one person who’s an idiot in their job or whatever else. And they all just do those things. And there are people that are like, well, I want to be part of that crowd. So I’m going to do that. I think that should even ties back to when we were kids. Like there are certain people that didn’t experience drinking in high school, others that were like, everybody f*****g come with me. I got it. We’re going to the woods, you know? Edward Miskie (he/him) (02:37.654) No, it- Edward Miskie (he/him) (02:43.992) yeah. Little column A, little column B. But yeah, is especially like having, like I said, in theater for so long. Being in New York City, it’s very hard to be introverted in New York City. I remember reading something recently that was like, I’m actually an extroverted introvert in the sense that like, I am pretty comfortable in a social setting. I am very comfortable doing stuff like this. Nick McGowan (02:47.957) Yeah. Edward Miskie (he/him) (03:10.102) But if you throw me in a social setting where I don’t know anyone, I immediately clam up and disappear. it, that’s what the alcohol was for. You know, and then, and then COVID hit and that just spiraled out of control and then, you know, here we are. So, you know, that I think that is probably the weird thing about me that people might not guess if they know me. Nick McGowan (03:19.022) Yeah, yeah, lube you up. Nick McGowan (03:32.504) Well, how long have you been sober now? Edward Miskie (he/him) (03:35.632) it’ll be two years end of March. So like year and a half. Nick McGowan (03:39.822) Cool, nice. That’s not a thing that most people kind of just bring up, you know, unless you’re like, I don’t know, being grossly boisterous about it. Like, hey, I stopped drinking a year and a half ago. The f**k, we’re not even talking about that. Yeah, like, well, okay. Or CrossFitters. Yeah, or Vegan CrossFitters, watch out. Edward Miskie (he/him) (03:47.99) Look at me! Right, it’s like vegans. I’m vegan. or vegan, God, the worst. Yeah, no, I mean, it’s, I think I said to you offline, like, I literally wrote a book about my life that is not does not put me in a good light. And so I just have a very low threshold for things that like, I’m sensitive about talking about. So like being a full raging alcoholic, that’s nothing. Nick McGowan (04:19.534) Sure, yeah. That was the fun times. Yeah, that’s funny. I’m sure there are more people than not that listen to this that have like, at some point thought maybe I have a little bit of a problem. And maybe that was the end of it. You know, like, I realized at one point, I’m drinking a lot. And this isn’t helping me. It’s actually stopping me from doing things. Like I remember one time telling myself, I’m gonna go to the gym today. It’s like, no, you’re not. Edward Miskie (he/him) (04:22.984) Right, miss those days. Nick McGowan (04:48.402) It’s 11 o’clock and you’ve already had two drinks. I was like, I’m not going to the gym today. And the next day being like, that sucks, man. That’s gross. And I hate it or whatever. And I was like, I don’t even want to go outside because I’m making these choices to do this. So, but if you get to that door, you can then make a choice through that. Like we’d even said, kind of offline, like you had to get to a door to be able to be where you’re at today with all this. But let’s break down the alcoholism in a sense, going out and being around with people. Edward Miskie (he/him) (04:52.277) Oof. Nick McGowan (05:18.094) Excuse me, being in the industry, being in the conversations, all that sort of stuff can be weird for people if they don’t have a drink. And going out after the fact when you’re no longer drinking, it’s like, you just don’t want to stand here with this thing? Edward Miskie (he/him) (05:34.027) Yeah, it’s like it that that part I’m fine with. And like up into a certain point, like when people start getting s****y, then I’m that’s my cue to leave. That’s usually the barometer I go by. I’m not like triggered being in a bar. I’m like, cool to be around it. It’s not a big deal. I just don’t like it just makes me feel gross. And I just don’t want to do it. It’s it’s when I’m around people who are getting a little unruly and on the drunk scale that I’m kind of like, okay, well, that’s my cue to go because we’re no longer on the same plane. Nick McGowan (05:36.686) Good. Nick McGowan (05:43.726) Sure. Nick McGo

    36 min
  4. Shaping Your Inner Dialogue For Better External Results With Nick McGowan

    FEB 26

    Shaping Your Inner Dialogue For Better External Results With Nick McGowan

    “There’s a massive link between the way that we talk to ourselves and the results that we get in the world.” In this episode, Nick dives into the significance of our inner dialogue and its profound impact on our external experiences. He emphasizes the importance of shaping our inner dialogue to navigate life’s challenges and the ups and downs we experience each day. Nick explores the mechanics of self-talk, the role of awareness in recognizing negative patterns, and the necessity of self-reflection in personal growth. What to listen for: Our inner dialogue directly influences our external experiences We often allow ourselves to be negative without realizing it Transforming our inner dialogue requires conscious effort and practice Self-reflection is key to understanding our internal narratives Building a healthier inner dialogue takes time and commitment “If we understand our internal dialogue, we can then make different decisions.” Words do matter, and we’re saying the most words to ourselves every day Recognizing the way we speak to ourselves is a critical first step to changing our inner dialogue By addressing and changing the way we speak to ourselves, we’ll naturally be in a better position to understand the world around us “When we have the inner dialogue that isn’t actually healed, it’s not helpful for us; then it makes the rest of our lives more and more difficult.” The perspective of our inner dialogue colors our view of the world and instantly sets us at a disadvantage in life Think of the negative inner dialogue as a human and see how you really feel about its communication style and comments on your life When we process and heal from trauma and limiting beliefs, our inner dialogue needs to be healed as well; this can be a lifelong process About Nick McGowan I’m Nick McGowan, an entrepreneur, podcaster, and mental health advocate, and I’ve been on a 20+ year journey of personal development, learning to master my mindset, emotions, and the art of living with purpose. As a Mindset and Self-Mastery Mentor, I work with ambitious men and women who want to live their most authentic and joyous lives by helping them master their mindset, emotional awareness, and authentic communication. My mission is to empower people to lead lives that feel aligned, grounded, and truly their own. Throughout my career, I’ve built teams, streamlined systems, and improved client experiences across SaaS, media, marketing, and personal development spaces. Whether I’m leading cross-functional projects, optimizing SEO, Podcasting, designing strategies, or guiding clients through transformation, I bring a hands-on, solution-focused approach to everything I do. I’m also the host of The Mindset and Self-Mastery Show, where my guests and I unpack the stories that shape us, challenge us, and ultimately guide us back to who we are at our core. On this show, we uncover the secret gems others have discovered through trial and error and breakthroughs, so you can fast-track your growth and master your mindset in your pursuit of self-mastery. Check out the latest episode here. With years of podcasting and two decades of marketing experience, I’ve mastered the storytelling, interview flow, strategy, and technical production that elevate a podcast from “just content” to something truly impactful. Whether you’re a leader looking to amplify your message, a seasoned speaker and podcast host looking to sharpen your edge, or even a beginner who is wondering how to share their message, I mentor thought leaders through every step of having the conversation they’re here to have on this planet. So, what message are you here to share?! https://nickmcgowan.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/thenickmcgowan/ Resources: Check out other episodes about our inner dialogue and managing negative self-talk. Battling Negative Self Talk And The Story From Being Adopted To Becoming An Attorney With Mike Bassett It’s Time We Start Talking About Our Mental Health With Nick McGowan Interested in starting your own podcast or need help with one you already have? https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/podcasting-services/ Thank you for listening! Please subscribe on iTunes and give us a 5-Star review! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mindset-and-self-mastery-show/id1604262089 Listen to other episodes here: https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/ Watch Clips and highlights: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk1tCM7KTe3hrq_-UAa6GHA Guest Inquiries right here: podcasts@themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show” Click Here To View The Episode Transcript Nick McGowan (00:00.302) Hello and welcome to the mindset and self mastery show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. Today on the show, I want to talk about shaping our inner dialogue to get better external results. And on the show, I like to get really macro with things because I think that’s where change actually happens. It’s in those moments where we work on the stuff now before the situation happens that we’ll be better equipped to handle whatever situation comes up. I’ve learned this the hard way. Sometimes I think I’m really prepared. I’m good to go. Then I get into a situation and something happens. It’s like, my God, I didn’t expect that to happen. I didn’t know how to handle it or whatever it was. And those moments can literally make or break us because sometimes when we’re going through a situation that we’re maybe a little uncomfortable with or not as confident about, we can start to falter on the things like our principles. or the things that we know to be true and are really consistent within ourselves. So when I think about having an internal dialogue, that’s more of a positive mindset dialogue. This isn’t something to just bypass the stuff that you’ve been through. This is about being able to understand that the moment you’re in right then and there is the only moment that you actually have. So when you’re in that moment, whatever the situation is, If your inner dialogue is in a negative place, let’s say, then that moment’s probably going to turn out not as good as you want it to be, just straight up. But if your inner dialogue is more on a positive note, and I’m using these as black and whites in a sense, then you’re bound to have a better overall experience because of the inner dialogue. So think about it this way. If you wake up in the morning and you instantly think, Today’s gonna be such a s****y day. I hate all these things. I don’t even wanna get out of bed. don’t wanna ever. You probably argue with your partner. You yell at your kids or your animals or whatever. You get on the road, you drive to your office and you’re s****y with everybody else on the road. Nick McGowan (02:37.462) if you woke up a little differently and had a overall mindset and experience from waking up, you probably, even if something happened with your spouse, your partner or your animals or the dude driving past you, you’re probably going to handle that situation differently, at least slightly differently. Now, if you wake up in the morning and you hate yourself and you hate everything that’s going on, there’s work there. be done. It may also be part of your design. I’ve learned about myself that I will wake up in two different states. Super excited, or grumpy as f**k to put it nicely, because in those states, when I wake up and I am unsure of what I want to do or whatever it is that really determines what happens next. I’ve learned about myself that I’m in one of those two states for some reason that has happened the day before. I’ll give you a prime example. I’ve been busy for the past few months and haven’t been able to play music as much. And I’m actively working on an album. And for me, playing music and even just working through concepts of riffs and just even drum parts for like three hours does magical things for me that helps me at a bass level feel like I’m doing something for myself. Not just doing things for clients or for other people or even things for my business that are still for myself, but just, you know, they’re not me playing music and scratching that itch. Being able to spend a little bit of time with that has become really, really, really important to me because I understand that the more aware I am of that, the more that it’ll affect the next day. It’s not a magical pill. It’s not like, you know, I play guitar for two hours one night and then the next day it’s the best f*****g day in the entire world. It’s not how this works. But I do understand that that is a part of how I relate to the rest of the world. And I can be aware of that and do something with it. So let’s break down what inner dialogue is. You know what it is. It’s the talking to yourself. If we look at a s****y internal dialogue, you know exactly what that is as well, because I’m pretty sure you do it pretty often. We all do. Nick McGowan (04:59.702) Even the people that say, no, I’m constantly positive. I’m constantly this, constantly that. You don’t really know what those conversations are internally. We just don’t. And I think the people that are bypassing and toxic positivity in a sense, they’re hurting themselves. And I know that because I’ve done that before too. Haven’t you? We’ve all done something like that where we’ve said, this is how I want to be. So I’m just going to do it and not do the work with it. When we have the inner dialogue that isn’t actually healed and it’s not helpful for us, then it makes the rest of our lives more and more difficult. I don’t want to take this down the path of saying this is the only thing that’ll fix everything because I have heard at times where people say you can’t just mindset your way through things. I know that is not what this is about. This

    29 min
  5. Curiosity As A Tool For Better Relationships With Patrick Boylan

    FEB 12

    Curiosity As A Tool For Better Relationships With Patrick Boylan

    “Be curious, not judgmental.” In this episode, Nick speaks with Patrick Boylan about the importance of curiosity in understanding others and navigating judgment. They discuss how asking questions can lead to empathy and a broader perspective, allowing for a more nuanced view of people’s beliefs and actions, all while highlighting the balance between judgment and understanding, advocating for a thoughtful approach to interpersonal relationships. What to listen for: Curiosity leads to empathy and understanding How we learn and understand is different from each other People’s beliefs aren’t inherently wrong; they’re different. Asking questions helps us bridge the gap between our understanding and their beliefs. Life can be painful and confusing; let’s not add to the chaos “At the end of the day, it’s curiosity. Why do you think that? That’s the biggest question that anybody can ask.” Being open to external information only allows us to consider it When we’re curious, we’re seeking to understand Intention is a major part of curiosity to better understand others and our surroundings “We need to come together as a species and tackle our world’s issues together.” We aren’t meant to do life alone. Community is a huge part of this journey we’re on There’s hope in this that we, as a race, can come together for a common goal, our overall health and survival Community is more important than we realize About Patrick Boylan Patrick Boylan is a skilled multi-instrumentalist and co-founder of MuseFlow, a groundbreaking music EdTech platform often called “The Duolingo of Music Education.” Frustrated by the limitations of traditional music education, Patrick began exploring self-directed practice, which reignited his passion for music and led him to focus on sight reading as an engaging learning tool. MuseFlow teaches bite-sized skills through sight reading, allowing students to master new concepts efficiently and enjoyably by focusing on reading and playing music at first sight, then applying those skills to songs that get unlocked. Patrick loves to share his insights on learning and EdTech, inspiring parents, teachers, and self-learners to help students and themselves achieve flow state through MuseFlow’s unique approach. https://museflow.ai – Use promo code **”MINDSET50″** to get 50% off any subscription you’d like, FOR LIFE! https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-boylan-6b133248/ https://www.instagram.com/museflow.ai/ Resources: Check out other episodes about curiosity The Magical Journey of Discipline and Curiosity With Wayne Faulkner Trauma, Curiosity, Core Beliefs And Conscious Recovery With TJ Woodward Interested in starting your own podcast or need help with one you already have? Send Nick an email or schedule a time to discuss your podcast today! nick@themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com Thank you for listening! Please subscribe on iTunes and give us a 5-Star review! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mindset-and-self-mastery-show/id1604262089 Watch Clips and highlights: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk1tCM7KTe3hrq_-UAa6GHA Guest Inquiries right here: podcasts@themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show” Click Here To View The Episode Transcript 00:00 The one thing in my opinion that would turn the tides of humanity and make people more empathetic and connected to every person on this earth, that we need to come together as a species and tackle our world’s issues together. 00:23 Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self-Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. Today on the show we have Patrick Boylan. Patrick, how you doing, man? Doing great. How you doing, man? I’m good. I’m excited you’re here. I think I say that a lot in the intros of shows because I’m having conversation with somebody and there are certain times where like lead time to get onto the show can be maybe a month, maybe two months. Then there are people like you, my friend, who… 00:48 I joked earlier and was like, well, when you first sent your stuff in in 2009. Yeah, but it’s kind of what it felt like though, honestly. But some of those are the best. And truthfully, I’ve had two of you this week. I had one guy a couple of days ago who does drum circles and so much music. And he just disappeared at one point like two years ago and then came back. And I was like, yes, I was hoping you’d come back. So I’m glad that you’re here too. I want us to be able to touch on music, obviously, because of the business that you have and the thing that you’re doing. 01:18 but I want us to be able to get into really how all of it has worked for you over the course of life and how it’s all shaped you to lead you to where you’re at today. Before we get there though, why don’t you get us started? Tell us what you do for a living and what’s one thing most people don’t know about you that’s maybe a little odd or bizarre? I’m the co-founder of a music education app called Museflow. We teach piano in a very different way. We’re expanding to all common instruments in the next couple of years. So it’s growing, people are loving it. 01:47 and I’m super stoked about it. Something that’s weird or that most people don’t know about me, I have two tattoos. I’ve got one on my butt, on my left butt cheek, it’s called, it’s just a family emblem that my dad drew on all of our napkins for lunches and uh Christmas cards and stuff like that. It’s four bunnies on two hills overlooking a sunset, and it’s our family. It’s me and my dad and my mom and my sister. 02:14 and our cats and our dogs and all that stuff. It’s a really cute little tableau thing, right? The other one is on my upper hip and I got it in college. I got it when I just decided that truth and honesty are going to be the most important things in my life, okay? And so I got a whistleblower. I got a guy blowing a whistle. Didn’t realize how phallic that was when I got it on my upper thigh, you know? 02:43 So it’s a little weird, but like I didn’t recognize that at the moment. What I was going for was like truth and honesty, right? And then I just, got it. And then I started doing, just being blunt, being like kind of mean about it. And like, wasn’t thinking about tact and I wasn’t thinking about like what my friends would be hurt by or if they, I didn’t care. I was just like, truth and honesty. This is just so important to my life. And like, I was being brutal about it. 03:12 And so one of my friends pulls me aside one day and he says, Pat, you got to stop this. You’re just being a jerk. You’re being an a*****e about this. Like, yes, truth and honesty is important. Okay. But you got to blend it with everything else. All right. Sometimes tact and holding your tongue is the right call. Cause I got to tell you, you’re ruining friendships right now. I know a couple of people that have talked about this already and they’re saying you’re just being an a*****e and they don’t want to be friends with you anymore. So you got to fix yourself or 03:42 you’re going to start losing friends. And I really trusted his opinion. He was one of my best friends. And so I listened to him and I pulled it back a bit. I pulled it back. I find it really interesting how your friend will lovingly say a thing to you, but also that you trust your friend. You know, like they’re the people that, um, they feel like they trust somebody out of, uh, I guess, systemic approach. Well, my family system tells me I should trust my parents. 04:09 or I should trust my brother and sister, or I should take whatever they say, kind of as gospel in a sense. People obviously like shit upon people with their dreams or whatever else, but it’s sometimes in those small things where it’s like, that person is upset that you’re being an a*****e about a thing, but for you to be aware of you were being an a*****e about it. Like if you didn’t feel you were, you probably wouldn’t have accepted it. You’d have been like, what do you mean? No, I’m just being a little bit of a boast or a little bit of this, but there was a hint of you back there was probably like, 04:38 The power feels good. You know, you’re like, yes, this is wonderful. Two things there, right? Number one, this is a historical relationship. This guy has been one of my good friends for, you know, years. And I’ve been working with him in very close contact throughout many different creative projects. He was a, he’s a director and I’m an actor. And so we worked on like seven or eight shows up until that point. And so I’ve worked with him. 05:07 deeply and very closely and I really appreciate his judgment and his kind of pulse on people. Yeah, you know and so both of those things like I trust the guy with my life and I’ll I’ll I’ll do whatever he wants when it comes to a show I know he has my best interest at heart and and that’s the biggest thing, you know number two I’ve always tried my best to take criticism with as much humility as possible and 05:37 regardless of if it’s accurate or wrong or true to myself or untrue, it doesn’t matter. That’s still your opinion. And your opinion weighed against mine. It just depends on our relationship, but it also depends on how much I trust you and all of that stuff. But like, I will take any and all criticism and I will implement it or not implement it based on the weight that I give it. And if I believe, and I do weigh it against myself, but that being said, it’s one of those things that I… 06:06 pride myself on. I pride myself on my ability to say, well, what do you think to everybody and anybody? And I don’t, doesn’t mean that I have to take it. That’s critical though. You’re two different entities, you know, and even within yourself to be able to say, well, I’m going to take that and you will accept tha

    26 min
  6. Drumming For Healing And Transformation With Andrew Ecker

    JAN 29

    Drumming For Healing And Transformation With Andrew Ecker

    “Drum circles were created to build inclusivity, equity, and diversity.” In this episode, Nick speaks with Andrew Ecker to explore the cultural significance of drumming, particularly within indigenous communities, and highlights the historical context of drum circles as a means of fostering inclusivity and diversity and healing from trauma and addiction. What to listen for: Drumming and sound healing, overall, can positively impact our mental well-being The historical context of drumming reflects a blend of various cultural influences Drumming fosters community and shared experiences Addiction is based in shame and can often be spurred on by our early experiences Embracing our calling heals ourselves and others “All of us are connected to the earth. All of us are indigenous. All of us have the air, the water, the fire, and the earth flowing through us.” Identity goes deeper than culture or job titles; it’s rooted in our relationship to the earth and life itself Separation from nature often fuels disconnection, anxiety, and burnout The elements are a reminder that we’re not isolated individuals; we’re part of a living system Reclaiming earth-based identity can be deeply grounding and healing “Do something for people — and you’ll discover the truest truth of who you are.” Service often reveals purpose more clearly than self-reflection alone Helping others pulls us out of isolation and into meaningful connection You don’t need to be “healed” or perfect to make a difference Showing up for others strengthens self-trust and self-worth About Andrew Ecker Andrew is a speaker, author, and creator of the Drumming Sounds Protocol, an evidence-based wellness intervention that blends ancient rhythm traditions with modern neuroscience to improve mental health, recovery, and community connection. With over 25 years of experience facilitating more than 5,000 drumming and sound-based programs, Andrew has worked with hospitals, treatment centers, universities, and tribal nations across the country. His book, The Sacred 7, explores identity, ancestry, and the transformative power of ceremony—a topic that resonates deeply with audiences seeking meaning, resilience, and personal empowerment. As a former youth outreach leader and recovery coach with over two decades in sobriety, Andrew brings a powerful, real-world perspective to conversations about trauma, healing, and spirituality. His ability to blend science, story, and spirit makes him a compelling guest for podcasts focused on wellness, recovery, leadership, and conscious living. https://www.drummingsounds.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrew-ecker-sacred7/ https://www.facebook.com/andrew.ecker1/ For our audience, please enjoy a free copy of Andrew’s book, “The Sacred 7” — it’s available for download at http://thesacredseven.com/ Resources: Interested in starting your own podcast or need help with one you already have? https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/podcasting-services/ Thank you for listening! Please subscribe on iTunes and give us a 5-Star review! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mindset-and-self-mastery-show/id1604262089 Listen to other episodes here: https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/ Watch Clips and highlights: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk1tCM7KTe3hrq_-UAa6GHA Guest Inquiries right here: podcasts@themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show” Click Here To View The Episode Transcript Nick McGowan (00:02.959) Hello and welcome to the Mindset Self Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. Today on the show, we have Andrew Ecker. Andrew, what’s going on? Andrew Ecker (00:13.602) How’s it going, Nick? Nick McGowan (00:15.649) It’s good. I’m glad that you’re here. I’m excited for us to talk about music and drum circles and sound healing and all the things that relate to all of that. And we were gonna have a call maybe like a year and a half ago or so. And there’ve been some people that have like backed out of the show and I’ve been like, that’s fine. You can do whatever you want to do. But you were one of the people I was like, I hope he comes back. So I’m glad that you’re here. I’m glad that people are gonna be able to hear this conversation. And why don’t you get us started? Tell us what you do for a living and what’s one thing most people don’t know about you that’s maybe a little odd or bizarre. Andrew Ecker (00:48.769) Awesome. So before we do that, I’d like to just take a moment and honor myself in the space by introducing myself formally in traditional language of my ancestors. This is a language called Nde Baza, which basically means the people’s tongue. So D**o Tse, Tse Nde, Andirector Yenise, Adon Dae Nshinigye, Nde Nshe, Irish Pashachin, Nde Dasha Tshe, German Dasha Nali, Kote Goe Itshliye, Portland, Oregon, Enishe. Shama’e, Kathy Lindsay Woye, Shaza’e Del Eccorale. So my name is Andrew Eccor, my mother Kathy Lindsay, my father Del Eccor, my mother’s mother Elva Gallegos, Apache woman from New Mexico. She grew up in a little town called Capitan right outside the Mescalero reservation. Although my ancestral lines go back to the Madera Valley of Texas and Chihuahua, Mexico. The Apaches from this area are called La Pond Band Apache. My father’s mother Evelyn Beatty, an Irish woman from Pennsylvania. She actually was very proud that our ancestor William Beatty fought in the Revolutionary War to establish this country. So I do consider myself a son of the revolution on that side of my family. My mother’s father Leroy Lindsay, a Korean and Vietnam War veteran, and my father’s father Wayne Ecker, a World War II veteran. I have a daughter Bailey, son Peyton, a beloved fiancee named Monica. I was born in the ancestral land of the Multnomah Clackamas of Malamit in Portland, Oregon. although I currently reside in the ancestral land of the Akmal, Atom, the Peaposh and the Hohokam in Phoenix, Arizona. And very grateful to be here with you. So the thing that I do primarily is I work in healthcare and I’m a drum circle facilitator and sound medicine practitioner and also a peer support specialist, recovery coach. Most of the work that I do is in variety of different healthcare settings. So everything from psychiatric lockdowns to memory care, skilled nursing, prisons, jails, drug and alcohol treatment facilities, I facilitated about 5,000 wellness-based events with a protocol I’ve developed called Drumming Sounds. So Drumming Sounds is a step-by-step process of creating outcomes that are wellness-based. So reducing stress, increasing immunity, lowering blood pressure, Andrew Ecker (03:13.865) helping people connect through music and really creating a safe, sacred space for people to come into group drumming. So group drumming is a really powerful wellness intervention and so it’s a small group of studies done on it and it’s pretty amazing what the science community has found. So yeah, so that’s what I do and also do some coaching stuff, of course, help people out. Something unique about me, that a lot of people don’t know. You know, I grew up in a home where both my parents were addicted to drugs and my mom died of a cocaine overdose and my father died of cirrhosis of liver caused by hepatitis C. So growing up in that environment, I was around a lot of really intense experiences. And I think something that a lot of people don’t know about me is that because of that, My relationship with PTSD as a child was something really intense and my first suicide attempt I was seven years old. I remember attempting to hang myself at seven and thankfully, you know, I didn’t succeed. But from the time of that first attempt till really probably my late 20s, I was dealing with suicidal ideation and a severe relationship to other mental health concerns, including situational schizophrenia, depression, anxiety. These are all things I live in relationship with today. Nick McGowan (05:01.261) So, where do I go from here? know, way to drop everything on us. I first off want to thank you and appreciate how you started this and being able to show back to your ancestors and being able to talk from your original language. I think we can sometimes forget about where we come from. Our genetics do not. our generational trauma does not. There’s so many things that, like you dealt with so much with your parents. I’m sure we could just tackle through all of that, but what your parents dealt with, that then they transferred along to you and what their parents dealt with, et cetera, et cetera, and how all of that was tossed to us. Most people I don’t think really think about that because they just think, well, my parents are assholes, so I’m trying to do better or whatever. It’s like, well, let’s actually take steps back generations before that. and before that, before that. And I think we can sometimes also forget about where you actually came from. Like you rattled off a lot of family members. And as I was thinking about it, I was like, I’m making me, I maybe go like two layers deep. People beyond that, I don’t really know. And I don’t really know if they’re still around or what the hell’s going on or whatever, because of the way that I was raised. And it’s interesting to think about how we should. actually get back to more community-based things, but there’s a lot of unlearning to do with all of that. And I’ve read through the stuff you’ve sent. I’ve seen the different things you’ve done. I’ve known about you for a little bit, but I wouldn’t have even been able to know about the things that you’ve just rattled off. And really, mean, shit, where do you want to start with this? and thinking about from a mental health and a mindset and overall transformation, self mastery. I’m not trying to just throw out buzzwords, but like there are categorical

    46 min
  7. Learning How To Be Less Miserable With Lybi Ma

    JAN 15

    Learning How To Be Less Miserable With Lybi Ma

    “Stop and think, why am I having this reaction? And observe instead of being in it.” In this episode, Nick speaks with Lybi Ma about the importance of embracing all emotions, including those that are often deemed negative. They emphasize the need to sit with and process feelings rather than suppressing them, highlighting that experiencing emotions is a natural part of life. What to listen for: It’s important to feel all emotions, not just the positive ones. Emotional acceptance is crucial for mental well-being. Processing emotions can be a daily practice. You don’t have to dwell on feelings forever; it’s about acknowledgment. Sharing feelings with others can foster a deeper connection and greater understanding. “We spend a lot of time negating half of our emotions. We want to feel happy and not depressed or not anxious, or we don’t want to feel anger. Feel these things.” Avoiding “negative” emotions actually gives them more power over us Emotions like anger, sadness, and anxiety are signals, not flaws Trying to feel only happy creates emotional suppression, not healing Feeling emotions fully helps them move through instead of getting stuck Emotional wholeness comes from allowing all feelings, not just the pleasant ones “People stop breathing when they’re tense and in the moment of being reactive to an unhappy situation. And when you stop breathing, cortisol goes up, and you become alert, and you’re looking for the predator. Just breathe and let your body work it out.” Tension often causes shallow or stopped breathing without us realizing it Holding the breath signals danger, triggering a cortisol stress response The body goes into survival mode, scanning for threats that may not exist Slow, intentional breathing helps calm the nervous system naturally Sometimes regulation isn’t mental—it’s physical: breathe and let the body reset About Lybi Ma Lybi is the executive editor of Psychology Today. In addition to producing the print magazine, she also edits its website and blog platform, which hosts more than nine hundred authors, academic researchers, and journalists. She edited a Psychology Today book series covering topics such as anger, food addiction, and bipolar disorder. She has a blended family of five adult children and lives with her husband in Westchester, New York. Her newest book, HOW TO BE LESS MISERABLE, is available now from Blackstone Publishing. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/lybi-ma https://www.linkedin.com/in/lybi-ma-b982941/ https://www.blackstonepublishing.com/products/book-hb9q?variant=46150345883786 Resources: Interested in starting your own podcast or need help with one you already have? https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/podcasting-services/ Thank you for listening! Please subscribe on iTunes and give us a 5-Star review! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mindset-and-self-mastery-show/id1604262089 Listen to other episodes here: https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/ Watch Clips and highlights: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk1tCM7KTe3hrq_-UAa6GHA Guest Inquiries right here: podcasts@themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show” Click Here To View The Episode Transcript Nick McGowan (00:00.971) Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. Today on the show we have Libby, how you doing today? Lybi Ma (00:10.338) Good. Thank you for having me. Nick McGowan (00:13.233) Absolutely, I’m excited that you’re here. I told you, I thought you were gonna be really academic and I think you’re gonna be able to tie that in with being an actual human. And I’m excited with all this. So why don’t you get us started? Yes, thank you. Thank you for breathing air with the rest of us. Why don’t you get this started? Tell us what you do for a living and what’s one thing most people don’t know about you that’s maybe a little odd or bizarre? Lybi Ma (00:25.121) breathing. Lybi Ma (00:38.39) I am the executive editor at Psychology Today, and I’ve been there for quite a few decades. Not gonna tell you completely because I don’t want you to know my age. And something that, well, the thing about me is that we take my ex-husband on vacation with us. There you go. Nick McGowan (01:06.644) So I appreciate that you basically just hold the mic there, like about to drop it and like, what do you want to do with this? I feel like there are people that would be like, and here’s some context to it. So I’ve got to ask what, what do you mean? How does that work? Does he physically go with you or is he like in a box? Okay. Lybi Ma (01:22.222) Yeah, he’s, he comes with us. He shows up. We had three weddings in 13 months between my second husband and me. And they’re grown kids. And he came to my stepkids’ weddings and they call him Uncle Carl. Nick McGowan (01:44.628) Cool. That’s really awesome. That is an odd thing that I, unfortunately that I think most people don’t experience. Yeah. Well, this is, this is a good thing to start on too. Cause I’ve actually had this conversation with somebody recently where they’re like, yeah, I’ve got a young kid and the mom and I don’t really, we don’t work, but we work really well together for the kid. Lybi Ma (01:54.211) I gave you one, didn’t I? I gave you one. Nick McGowan (02:10.919) And that was really important. Like I could see him almost like put his foot in the ground. Like this is what we’re doing specifically for a child. That’s not how I grew up. Like my mom and dad, they’re still basically like a town or two apart from each other. They’ll see each other at a bar somewhere and like snarl at each other. Like I am 41 years old, calm down. It’s been a long ass time. However, my dad and his ex-wife are great friends because of the relationship that they had and all that. My dad actually… Lybi Ma (02:29.613) Okay. Nick McGowan (02:40.827) met her husband, shook his hand with a hundred dollar bill and said, thank you. It’s your turn. I’m like, the kahones on that man for that. But that’s an interesting thing that you can actually have that. Now I would imagine, look, you work for psychology today. You’ve probably done a lot of work on yourself and through your relationships and healed through things. But can you give us a little bit of context of like how the heck that works? Lybi Ma (02:48.59) I like that. That’s funny. Lybi Ma (03:07.8) So in the beginning when I first got divorced, I thought, I’m never speaking to this person again. And that lasted for a little while. And I actually worked through his second wife. I needed her to pick up the kids. So as you know, we had a very friendly situation. And I thought, well, this is not really good for the kids. So I think I better. start being more amenable to the whole thing. And I got this job and it helped me. This job, I read a lot of information. Constance Ahrens did research. She did a good book on divorced kids. And basically divorced kids can do well if The parents get along and there’s no conflict in their household. And as long as each parent has a good relationship with the child, they’re probably going to do well. And I will have to say that my children did very well. So yeah, it worked out. And yeah, and it also helps when you have a person like my ex-husband who is very amiable. He wants to be friendly and he has a crazy romance with my husband, a bromance, sorry, not romance, a bromance. They have a thing going on. So there you go. Nick McGowan (04:28.454) awesome. Nick McGowan (04:48.86) Ha Nick McGowan (04:54.473) Which you probably didn’t think like we’re getting a divorce at some point I’ll be married again and he’ll be great friends with my then husband. Like could you have written that you know? Lybi Ma (05:01.13) No, no, I had no idea. No idea. No. Getting along is better. Yeah. Nick McGowan (05:06.097) Yeah. That’s interesting. Yeah. But I, I find it interesting how sometimes we, people can say, there was this period of time and then a period of lapse. And then I realized this thing and then another period and here we are. There was a lot of time in between then and this conversation right now. And even the times where I’m sure you were super frustrated, upset, pissed the whole nine and then maybe I could do things different. And I think sometimes we blow past that because Lybi Ma (05:33.25) Yeah. Nick McGowan (05:39.312) Maybe context isn’t always important in all the situations. However, I want to say it’s pretty much always super important. And that’s really what the purpose of the show is to be able to kind of talk about those tough times. Like you went through a divorce, but you saw it as I’m going to help with the kids. And this is more important for my kids. And now you’re seeing your kids in action from the result of what you guys have done. It’s really hard for people to see the stuff that they need to work on and be open to that, especially when they’re in a really, really difficult time going through it. or post divorce or something like that. Now, how does that tie into the work that you’ve done and worked with for maybe just a couple decades? Don’t need to know your age. But being able to actually go through that stuff on your own and then literally work with psychology today and the psychologists and other people doing important work and you being a researcher yourself. Lybi Ma (06:33.026) Well, I’ll be honest with you. First of all, I’m not a researcher. take the researcher’s information and try to put it in accessible language so that people can relate. So you see all this information coming through and everything makes a whole lot of sense. Nick McGowan (06:53.02) sense. Lybi Ma (07:02.38) And I started to apply it to my own life. And it was very helpful. I became a wiser person because I wor

    43 min
  8. Embracing Self-Mastery On The Parenting Journey With Anne Wallen

    JAN 1

    Embracing Self-Mastery On The Parenting Journey With Anne Wallen

    “The best way to change life on Earth is to change the way we start.” In this episode, Nick speaks with Anne Wallen to dive into the intricate relationship between maternal health, psychological preparation for parenting, and the impact of childhood trauma on parenting styles. Anne shares her personal journey as a maternal health professional and mother of six, emphasizing the importance of meeting a baby’s needs and the psychological aspects of parenting. What to listen for: Maternal health is crucial for every human being The psychological preparation for parenting is as important as physical preparation Trauma from childhood can affect parenting styles and decisions Meeting a baby’s needs is essential for their psychological development Self-awareness is key to breaking generational trauma cycles Understanding the impact of trauma can help in parenting “Unhealed wounds don’t disappear when you become a parent; they show up.” Parenting activates old patterns you didn’t even know were still there Triggers often come from your past, not your child’s behavior Awareness gives you a pause between reaction and response Healing yourself reduces the chance of repeating the same cycles “Safety is the foundation of healthy development.” Feeling safe shapes the brain, nervous system, and emotional regulation. Consistent responsiveness teaches a child that they matter Emotional safety supports curiosity, confidence, and resilience A regulated parent creates a regulated environment About Anne Wallen Anne is a respected figure in women’s health with over 30 years of experience and is a leading voice on global change in maternity care – particularly for those at greatest risk. She continues to educate and empower birth professionals in more than 20 countries, contributes to a variety of curricula, and shapes the future of maternal health through her impactful role as a speaker and mentor. Anne is the Director and co-founder of MaternityWise International, and her legacy lies in inspiring generational changes around and elevating women’s healthcare worldwide. https://www.maternitywise.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/anne-wallen-08478035/ https://www.instagram.com/maternitywise/ Resources: Interested in starting your own podcast or need help with one you already have? https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/podcasting-services/ Thank you for listening! Please subscribe on iTunes and give us a 5-Star review! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mindset-and-self-mastery-show/id1604262089 Listen to other episodes here: https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/ Watch Clips and highlights: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk1tCM7KTe3hrq_-UAa6GHA Guest Inquiries right here: podcasts@themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show” Click Here To View The Episode Transcript Nick McGowan (00:00.91) Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. Today on the show we have Anne Wellen. Anne, how you doing today? I’m good. I’m really excited to get into this. I think this is going to be a different conversation than what we typically have, but we were just talking and talking and at one point you’re like, you’re not recording? I’m like, no, let’s start this now. Anne Wallen (00:10.602) I’m good, how are you? Nick McGowan (00:25.614) So this will be great. And why don’t you kick us off? Tell us what you do for a living and what’s one thing most people don’t know about you that’s maybe a little odd or bizarre. Anne Wallen (00:34.382) Okay, well, I am the director of Maternity Wise International, which what we do is we train doulas and childbirth educators and lactation support people. I’ve been doing this for 23, 24 years now, and it’s pretty much my life. I love maternal health. It’s so, important to every human on this planet. And maybe the… An interesting factoid about me is that I have six kids. A lot of people, when you tell them you have six kids, they’re like, my gosh. And yes, I birthed them all. But five of them are adults. I have a little nine-year-old as well. She was a surprise, like the best kind of surprise. But yeah, so my six kids and yes, that’s really the main reason why I got into the work that I got into when I had my first at 17. and didn’t feel like I could be the mom that she deserved, loved her so, so, so much. And I had some family friends that I grew up with who actually babysat me who had been struggling with fertility issues. And so I chose to let them adopt her. And we have had an amazing, beautiful extended family relationship. And she recently gave birth to her first daughter just this summer. So I am officially a grandma in addition to all the other things that I do, but Yeah, that’s a little factoid that most people don’t know. But she’s part of the reason she’s the main reason why I became a mental health professional or a maternal health professional. And a lot of the way things have gone through my life, not just how I was raised, but experiences thereafter have gotten me very interested in mental health. And so I like to kind of create this intersection between the both worlds. And I look at things from a very psychological perspective. So this is This is gonna be a fun one. Nick McGowan (02:29.229) Yeah, I think everything ties back into that. It’s not even just a physical thing. Like I even said to you, somebody has a baby and they go home and how their partner reacts to whatever’s going on or the chaos or whatever the thing is, how does that then tie into the baby and how does the baby move throughout life? Even with you having a kid at 17, you are a child at 17. Though I’m sure we can both think back to 17 years old and thinking I’m grown ass adult and I can do all the things in the world, but you are not. You’re a child. Anne Wallen (02:50.412) Hmm. Nick McGowan (02:59.039) And the fact that you had somebody that you could hand the baby over to that you knew, you trusted, and you were able to have a relationship, it sounds like that could almost be like an ABC sitcom, you know what I mean? Anne Wallen (03:05.325) Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (03:13.356) Yeah, well, I mean, my life is, I always joke that, like, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. But I always joke that, you know, Hallmark probably wouldn’t agree to make a movie because my life is so far-fetched. But yes, that’s, that was such a, such a blessing because I really knew that I was not going to be able to do what she needed as far as mothering. And I’ve, you know, hadn’t even finished high school yet. And my wonderful, wonderful and she was my next door neighbor growing up. And I just knew that they were the right people to take care of her and they raised her and she’s an amazing human being. And it’s just really wonderful to have this open relationship at this point, especially, you know, now that she’s having babies of her own. it was really cool too during COVID. She took one of my doula trainings because she was going to be a doula for a friend of hers. So Just a really cool, you know, like sometimes things just come full circle and you just, little blessings, little surprises. So. Nick McGowan (04:22.764) And you wouldn’t have been able to script that. Like, I love when that stuff happens in life where it’s like, I’m gonna have a baby, hand it over to my neighbor, because I love them. And then years later, like, really? Somebody would be like, that’s crazy. Get out of my office, you know? Anne Wallen (04:24.863) No! Anne Wallen (04:37.355) Yeah, well, I I knew that I didn’t, I knew that I probably wouldn’t be okay with just never knowing. know, some moms, and I’ve supported moms as their doula through giving their baby away. I’ve supported adopting families as well. it’s, I am really, really fortunate because I don’t think that most people could go through that experience and it would be, I mean, Don’t get me wrong, it was heartbreaking. It’s still heartbreaking that I wasn’t able to raise her myself. I mean, I’ve had five other kids since then and I know what it is to be a mom and I know what things I’ve missed out on. But being able to have an open adoption is really, really something special and I know some people don’t have that option. And so to be able to give your baby to someone that you think that you can trust and then hope that they’re doing what you would want them to do. That’s a whole level of, yeah, that’s tough, that’s hard. So, yeah. Nick McGowan (05:43.52) could only imagine. I have no idea what that would be like. I don’t have kids, not gonna have kids. And I couldn’t imagine what that’s like just handing a child over. I’ve talked to different people that have had either abortions or they’ve adopted, they’ve handed kids off to be adopted and then just haven’t ever talked to them again or people that have had some kid that are like, hey, by the way, about 30 years ago, you and my mom on a beach. And here we are, we’re like, you and my mom at a party or whatever. It’s like, but I, one of the big reason why I wanted to have you on is to be able to talk about how the psychology of that ties into not just people that have kids, but people that were kids. Cause even your emails back in the conversations, you were like, yeah, everybody was born. And then what we do from there and how that all ties into it. So why don’t, why don’t you kind of get us started off with like, not only what you see with, people that are having kids. but also the people that are concerned about having children and what that ties into just the rest of life. Anne Wallen (06:53.121) Well, kind of as we were talking about before we started recording, getting ready for having a baby, well, having a baby, you really need to put in the work, you need to prepare. And it

    58 min
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On The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show, Nick and his guests have real, honest conversations about mindset, self-mastery, and transformation. We explore trauma, healing, purpose, and the breakthrough moments that redefine our lives. Whether you’re looking to get ahead in your career, make major changes in your life, or simply live with less stress, then how you manage your mindset matters more than you may know. If you’re ready to grow through what you’ve been through and step into deeper transformation, you’re in the right place. Remember, your mindset matters. And so do you!

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  • Creator
    Nick McGowan
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    197
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2025 The Mindset and Self-Mastery Show
  • Show Website
    The Mindset and Self-Mastery Show