On Christmas Eve 2025, a women’s magazine called Evie Magazine published an article titled, “Why Does Hollywood Keep Telling Women To Pick Broke Men?” The author of the article was Carmen Schober. Schober’s general thesis was that modern Hollywood movies often show women choosing subpar men over better men, with female characters “following their hearts” and pursing a “man-child-turned-hero-fantasy.” Schober argued that modern movies often show women passing on men who would make better longer-term partners – men, who, in the movies, “dressed well, worked hard, [and] did not need to ‘grow up’.” According to Schober, the alternative presented to women in these movies are men who are incompetent, unkempt, and financially insecure. Abstract examples of subpar men given by Schober included “a broke poet with commitment issues, a boyish drifter with no plans for the future, or an eccentric loner obsessed with escaping convention at all costs.” Schober concluded that movies that depict women choosing subpar men over better man are propaganda because research and polling data show that women desire the traits embodied by the men who the women are rejecting in the movies. I agree with Schober that Hollywood movies often portray non-serious men in ways that make them more interesting, important, and desirable than they would be in real life. Actor Kevin Sorbo made broadly similar points in his 2023Fox News article titled, “Let’s make Hollywood manly again,” which Icovered at The Nuzzo Letter. Nevertheless, I think Schober’s aim was off when she critiqued the movie The Notebook. The Notebook and Its Importance The Notebook was a 2004 adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks’ book of the same name. It starred Rachel McAdams as Allie Hamilton, Ryan Gosling as Noah Calhoun, and James Marsden as Lon Hammond, Jr. The Notebook is adored by many audiences. It has an IMDB rating of 7.8 out of 10, which is solid for a romantic movie in an anti-romantic age. The Notebook also plays at outdoor cinemas in Australia around Valentine’s Day every year, again signalling the movie’s broad appeal. I think the theme and characters of The Notebook warrant careful examination for a couple of reasons. First, I think The Notebook will be central to the eventual romantic counterrevolution in movies. Second, an examination of The Notebook can help people understand their own partner preferences and relationships, which is partly why Schober wrote her article in the first place. Schober’s Argument In her article, Schober argued that Allie should have chosen Lon to be her lifelong partner rather than Noah. However, in arguing this position, Schober made direct claims and indirect suggestions about Noah that were inaccurate. Here, I address these inaccuracies, and I argue that they invalidate Schober’s position and that Allie’s choice of Noah was a rational one. Character Traits One reason that Schober believed that Allie should have picked Lon over Noah is because Lon exhibited the following desirable partner traits: virtuous, successful, respectful, smart, fun, supportive, kind, reliable, fit, and good-looking. By implication, Schober suggested that Noah did not embody these traits or that he embodied these traits to a much lesser extent than did Lon. Yet, there is nothing in the movie that suggests Noah is not virtuous, successful, respectful, smart, fun, supportive, kind, reliable, fit, or good-looking. Noah Was Not “Emotionally Volatile” Schober also argued that another reason Allie should have picked Lon over Noah is because Noah’s character was “emotionally volatile.” However, this claim is not supported by a holistic evaluation of Noah’s character. Noah was kind, funny, passionate, and deeply in love with Allie. To the extent that one wants to claim that Noah’s character was emotionally volatile, perhaps one might cite the scene where Noah kicks the deck chair. Or one might cite the scene where Noah half-heartedly tries to sell the house that he built for Allie, and he pulls out his shotgun when the potential buyer offers him more than his asking price. However, these scenes are used artistically to reinforce Noah’s love for Allie more than they are to show character flaws in Noah. Noah was no danger to Allie, and to the extent that he displayed emotional volatility, it was less than the emotional volatility displayed by Allie. In two different scenes, Allie pushes Noah and slaps his face. Noah did not push or hit Allie in return, and his continued love and devotion toward Allie after these events shows how lucky Allie was to have him as an option for a lifelong partnership. Also, one should not forget Allie’s emotional outbursts when she called Noah a “b*****d” and “son of a b***h,” after he accused her of partnering with Lon because Lon has a lot of money. Finally, Schober’s statement about Noah’s supposed emotional volatility implies that Lon was not emotionally volatile. This implication about Lon is uncertain because Lon and Allie’s relationship received less screen time and spanned fewer and more matured years than Noah and Allie’s relationship. Thus, Lon might have also been emotionally volatile, but we simply did not see enough of him to know. Noah Was Not “Directionless” Schober also claimed that Noah was “directionless for most of the story.” Yet, there is little in the movie to suggest that Noah’s life did not have direction. Noah worked at the lumberyard throughout the movie, and like Lon, Noah served in combat in World War II. Lon was a white-collar professional, whose life trajectory was helped by his family’s “Old Southern money,” whereas Noah came from a working-class background and was raised by his father. However, just because Lon worked in a higher status job and presumably made a higher salary than Noah does not mean that Noah’s life was “directionless.” When not working in the lumberyard, Noah spent much of his time building the house that he had promised Allie – an act of direction and dedication. In fact, when Allie reunited with Noah, and they were in the canoe, Allie told Noah that the house he built, and his commitment to finishing it, were “beautiful.” Finally, to the extent that Noah’s life lacked any degree of direction, it is clear from the story that Allie was the missing piece. Noah Was Devoted to Allie Schober also criticized Noah as being undependable and “a guy who disappears for years.” Schober also expressed frustration with Noah for not reaching out to Allie after building the house for her, adding that Noah “just broods and hopes she’ll come around.” Here, Schober seems to have forgotten the part of the movie where Noah writes Allie one letter each day for a year, which was Noah’s attempt at reconnecting with Allie after she moved away for school. Unfortunately, Allie’s mom stole each of Noah’s letters from the mailbox before Allie could see them. Thus, during that year, Allie was entirely unaware that Noah was reaching out to her. Allie’s mom only shares the letters with Allie later in the movie, after Allie is an adult and engaged to Lon. Because Allie never saw Noah’s letters at the time when they were written, Allie believed that Noah did not love her. Moreover, because Noah assumed that Allie had received the letters, but chose not to respond to them, he assumed that Allie did not love him and did not want to communicate with him. Thus, contrary to Schober’s position, there was no reason for Noah to continue to actively pursue Allie. Noah’s decision to no longer pursue Allie was also reinforced, when, several years after last communicating with Allie, Noah incidentally saw her with Lon in the restaurant in Charleston. Nevertheless, even after all that, Noah still built the house that he had promised Allie, and his physical actions in building the house were likely the masculine expressions of his emotions. Finally, if Schober was broadly suggesting that Noah was not adequately devoted to Allie, then her understanding of The Notebookis wildly out of touch. Noah’s devotion to Allie was one of movie’s central themes! Two Great Choices The reality is that Allie had two great men to choose from, and the evidence that Allie chose well with Noah is written into the story. The movie depicts the moment that Allie and Noah first met, the moment they died together, and many moments in between. Allie and Noah remained married until their simultaneous deaths, and they had three children together. Thus, an odd aspect of Schober’s position is that the story itself shows viewers the evidence that Allie made a great choice, because the movie depicts their relationship until its very end. Had Allie chosen Lon, she would have also likely had a generally good life. In fact, the script is so well written that it informs viewers of what this counterfactual situation would have been. The movie suggests that the relationship between Allie and Lon will be like the relationship between Allie’s mother and Allie’s father, with Lon turning out to be like Allie’s father. We know that this is the likely counterfactual situation because of the scene where Allie’s mother drives Allie to the construction site. In that scene, Allie’s mother shows Allie the man that she passionately loved when she was Allie’s age. Allie’s mother admits that she sometimes drives to the site just to watch the man work and to contemplate about how different her life might have been had she married that man rather than Allie’s father. This scene also connects back to the scene where Allie was younger and was caught being out late with Noah. During that scene, Allie’s mother calls Noah “trash” and tells Allie that she needs to stop seeing Noah. Young Allie fired back at her mother, telling her mother that she does not look at, touch, or play with Allie’s father the same way that Allie does t
