The Oath

Elaina Redmond

“The Oath” is more to me than anything, the promise to protect myself from what I went through. It doesn’t mean I turned cold-hearted, angry or that I am lashing out. I turned out quite the opposite. I am still humble, grateful and down to earth despite many trying to change me. Which didn’t work, a story that I was once afraid to share. I realized I needed to share. Many may not understand, because never experience half of the things I experienced, especially at young age. A survival guide turned into a story to help others. The oath now is to help as many as I can, despite how painful it was for me to survive. I am still here for a reason. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. What Matters To Me

    May 18

    What Matters To Me

    I have always been big on telling the truth, being authentic and doing what is right when no one is looking. I have burned bridges, lied, hurt others and had to learn the hard way. Being kicked out four times, once for Diet Coke, the soda. and others I really don’t remember, was it extreme yes, was I perfect no. Walking on egg shells, being choked and pinned against the wall, being slapped, I wasn’t  just sexually, mentally, physically and verbally abused by someone I was related to. I did lie, but I chose to make amends, but anything would set this person off. Never having a relationship with this person,  and they still ask why? It’s not because of the mistake I made, it was taking everything to extreme, being physical and never making amends just holding everything over my head, even til this very day you hold everything over my head. You tell everyone I wasn’t the black sheep, I was lying to get attention or Not telling all the truth.  Which I have, I knew the rules, I broke them, but at I least I can admit everything. You solved everything by being physical, you could never have understand why I was close my dad.  I forgive you, but I will never have a relationship with you. I could never talk to you, with being scolded, or told walking on egg shells. Everything was about how perfect you were. I don’t really care what you say to others, because at least I can be honest with my story, the mistakes I did and what I did was wrong. You will always flip the story to play the victim and no accountability, that’s why I  am big on accountability, telling the truth and being honest and authentic. You change things so it doesn’t look so bad. What matters to me, is telling everything how it was even if It hurts. You can never amend a burned bridge. I’m sharing every part,to help others. I’m over the anger, sadness and hurt. We shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for telling the truth. Telling everything, because it shows how we became. We have thrived and survived without you, Which was held over our heads as well. We couldn’t live without you or survive. Everything we accomplish was because of you. We are given some tools to survive, while the other part we say how we didn’t want our life to be. What matters to me is my reputation, integrity because it’s hard to get respected or believed when you have hurt so many and burned so many bridges. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    3 min
  2. Asked The Traffic Lights, If I Would Be Okay

    May 17

    Asked The Traffic Lights, If I Would Be Okay

    I had symptoms occur back in 2024, I pushed for a mammogram but was told it was hormone changes and it was dismissed, the symptoms got worse. This past Wednesday they found a lump in my left breast. They said I was too young, and denied my repeated warnings or how I felt. The emotions would be mad, angry, upset, scared and sad. Like my whole life just flashed before me, I have an ultrasound this Thursday to see how big it is, and what it actually looks like to proceed from there. I had many I knew die from cancer, Especially breast and stomach cancer. I wonder if this related to why  my lungs are restricted, is this related to everything? If it is cancer I hope it was caught early, to where something can be done. I just have a feeling another surgery is going to happen, this would be my ninth surgery in five years. Always trust your instincts, every time I trusted mine, even though I was told I was wrong, everything would always come back to I was right and I was telling the truth. I have had many great doctors, but there have been a few who like to throw their education in your face, I know more than you so I’m not going listen to you, but they get taught a lesson, that many of us who see the doctor are actually telling the truth and not crying wolf or trying to get attention. So put you’re  arrogance aside, before someone’s life is on your hands and you have to answer why they aren’t here and that is something you will have to live with for the rest of your life. Asked the traffic lights if I would be okay because there are so many unknowns right now.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1 min
  3. You Are Enough

    May 11

    You Are Enough

    I will always support the education system, but I have had my fair share of teachers who hated me, who didn't like me and wanted to see me fail or they would do illegal things that would cost them their license. I was never the perfect student, I made mistakes, hurt others and had to learn the hard way from many things I did. With many teachers taking the side of the bully, then playing the victim when the truth came out or acting nice because you got caught. It's not my problem that your true intentions were exposed, and don't think I forgot either. You are enough, don't let a grown adult tell you nothing will ever happen for you, that they try to fail you illegally and lie when they get caught. You are enough and you will be someone someday. All of us make mistakes and none of us are perfect, but many of us choose to learn from our mistakes instead of lying and hurting innocent people. Lying on your resume that you have the qualifications to be a professor at a technical college and also trying to pull illegal moves on several students, not just you. It's too late now to apologize now, you didn't destroy any of us, you went to jail because you committed a crime. That only the technical college had to apologize on your behalf but many schools you attended had to apologize. Even the unit the commander was part of, their own representative had to apologize for someone else's actions. Each profession will have some sour fruit, some will give dirty looks, talk bad about you. That's a them issue not an you issue, the choice is yours if you want to break and destroy everything or make it better.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1 min
  4. White Dress

    May 11

    White Dress

    Trying to destroy my engagement and wedding day, now you have no connection to me anymore. Throwing a tantrum without giving me the chance to explain why everything happened the way it did. You just chose to jump to conclusions instead. My only real peace was leaving you in my past. Our relationship was good until I was thirteen. That’s when everything change, that’s when you switched. A hole in my heart that will never be stitched up. The only peace was finding the one and the family who connected with my dad, his family and my three brothers. I would never mention you ever again or have anything to do with you. Don’t ever ask my brothers what I am doing or up too, you chose to leave. The happiest day turned into the saddest day of my life, but at least everyone else had common sense. You did give me the tools to survive and we did have good moments plus memories, I won’t deny that, but this is too far. The white dress that was stained when my heart shattered from that particular day, was healed by the ones who understood what was going on.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1 min
  5. What I Survived Pt:II

    May 11

    What I Survived Pt:II

    During 2024, I learned I had Fibromyalgia and CPS (Central Pain Syndrome), where my body no longer knows how to process pain. Dealing with two people who violated HIPPA, which both of them worked in the medical field before. Should know how to keep confidential information to themselves, but no they had to run their mouth. They had no permission to share this information because it was confidential, but you never gave a damn. You were proud to share it with the world. It boosted your ego and arrogance until it all fell down. Showing back up months later like I forgot, I don’t forget a damn thing. It’s not problem that the guilt is eating you alive. You gave me no choice but to give you the cold shoulder. You can’t handle what you did, not my problem. Then having an ex to show up six years later this year. Thinking like nothing happened, I will never forgive you. Don’t come back around like I forgot or that I will forgive you. Forgiving what you did, will make you think that you won. I only forgive myself for the hell I had to go through. I survived each trap or setup. I’m not stupid but clearly you think that. The reason I remain quiet and lurk in the shadows, is because I let you think I am clueless or don’t know what is going on. When I know exactly what is going on. I let you run your mouth and make a fool of yourself before I make my next move. While you playing checkers, I was playing chess. You thought you had me, put you were wrong.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1 min
  6. What I Survived

    May 11

    What I Survived

    During 2024, I learned I had Fibromyalgia and CPS (Central Pain Syndrome), where my body no longer knows how to process pain. Dealing with two people who violated HIPPA, which both of them worked in the medical field before. Should know how to keep confidential information to themselves, but no they had to run their mouth. They had no permission to share this information because it was confidential, but you never gave a damn. You were proud to share it with the world. It boosted your ego and arrogance until it all fell down. Showing back up months later like I forgot, I don’t forget a damn thing. It’s not problem that the guilt is eating you alive. You gave me no choice but to give you the cold shoulder. You can’t handle what you did, not my problem. Then having an ex to show up six years later this year. Thinking like nothing happened, I will never forgive you. Don’t come back around like I forgot or that I will forgive you. Forgiving what you did, will make you think that you won. I only forgive myself for the hell I had to go through. I survived each trap or setup. I’m not stupid but clearly you think that. The reason I remain quiet and lurk in the shadows, is because I let you think I am clueless or don’t know what is going on. When I know exactly what is going on. I let you run your mouth and make a fool of yourself before I make my next move. While you playing checkers, I was playing chess. You thought you had me, put you were wrong.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1 min
  7. To Face This

    May 11

    To Face This

    The consequences I get when I survived the worse nightmare of my life. Being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and CPS (Central Pain Syndrome), from being in survival mode. Being mentally, physically, emotionally and sexually abused two weeks before my thirteen birthday, By someone I wasn’t related to. I don’t blame my parents. Still the flashbacks and nightmares waking up in sweat or crying still haunts me. I won’t go any deeper because it still hurts. You think years later you would be healed, but it’s the opposite. You are learning to break bad habits and to unlearn the way you were while you were in survival mode. Being blamed for something that you didn’t cause, or told it never happened or you’re not telling the whole truth, you were never there so how would you know? You still don’t feel safe, but you don’t blame yourself anymore. God got you out of this dark moment. You and him have a long history, but you survive because of God. To face this is realizing you will never get over this just like when someone passes away. You learn to be okay, but it will come back in waves. You are in a better place and that’s all that matters.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1 min
  8. The Judgement

    May 11

    The Judgement

    Being judged for my own health problems, people thinking I am making it up for attention or it’s not real. Listen to yourself, you are talking about things that you don’t even understand or know about. If you put yourself in other people's shoes maybe you will understand, but you are too arrogant to care. Wait until you have health problems and others treat you the way you treated me, then give you a view from my perspective. Being in pain, sick and dizzy all the time wasn’t what I chose. This was a battle given to me, I have no cure but at least I still show up to help others. I always put others before me, and I always go out of my way to help others and make sure their day is better. I don’t have to do that, but I love helping other people and just doing God’s work. I am not about the popularity or what comes back to me, I could care less. Every good deed that is done is out of helping others, you never know you have made their day. Nowadays everyone is about themselves or trying to tear everyone else down. It's a sad world we live in and we need to do better. Long story short, I could have given the ones who hurt me the same treatment, but I walked away. I gave them the cold shoulder as well. Two classy ways to be, without falling to the same level as them. This is why many people don’t like me or always have a problem with me, when they have a problem with themselves. I will never change or think I am better because I am not. I am thankful to be who I am and be where I am today. I am thankful for the support and that I get to do what I love. It was a tough fight, but it’s a fight I am glad I kept fighting. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1 min
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About

“The Oath” is more to me than anything, the promise to protect myself from what I went through. It doesn’t mean I turned cold-hearted, angry or that I am lashing out. I turned out quite the opposite. I am still humble, grateful and down to earth despite many trying to change me. Which didn’t work, a story that I was once afraid to share. I realized I needed to share. Many may not understand, because never experience half of the things I experienced, especially at young age. A survival guide turned into a story to help others. The oath now is to help as many as I can, despite how painful it was for me to survive. I am still here for a reason. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Information

  • Creator
    Elaina Redmond
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    24
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Elaina Redmond
  • Show Website
    The Oath