Midlife Sexuality & Open Relationships (Season 6 | Episode 246) with Dr. Rosalyn Dischiavo Embracing Your Act 3: Sexuality, Identity, and the Golden Shadow [AMIR] Welcome back to The Open Nesters Podcast blog! We are your hosts, Tessa and Amir, and today we are taking a dive straight into our archives to revisit one of our most profound, perspective-shifting discussions. In this special episode, we welcome back Dr. Rosalyn Dischiavo—affectionately known as Dr. Roz—founder of the Institute for Sexuality Education and Enlightenment. We sat down with her to unpack the multifaceted transition of “Act 3,” that vibrant, wide-open stage of life that emerges after the kids have left the nest. We are trading empty for open, exploring new adventures, and diving deep into how this phase impacts our sexuality, identity, and personal capacity. Midlife Sexuality & Open Relationships During our chat, Dr. Roz completely reframed the often-stigmatized “midlife crisis.” Rather than a juvenile panic, she aligned with Carl Jung’s view that this period is a profound combination of a mortality crisis and an identity crisis. Dr. Roz reminded us that the Chinese word for crisis beautifully combines the symbols for danger and opportunity. Sometimes, our lives require a little bit of ripping apart—or at least some careful dissecting and rearranging—to make room for a genuine biological and spiritual awakening. It is a powerful reminder that our “Act 3” is an opportunity to wake up to our fullest potential. One of the most fascinating concepts we explored is what Jung called the “golden shadow.” Most of us are familiar with hiding our darker, socially unacceptable urges in the shadows. However, Dr. Roz pointed out that we also hide our most enlivening, extraordinary traits—our deep intelligence, our raw sexiness, and our sheer awesomeness. Whether out of genuine humility or a desire for social conformity, we often dim our own light so we do not threaten the status quo. Stepping into our open nester years means finally reclaiming that golden shadow and giving ourselves permission to shine without apology. Exploring Polyamory, Identity & The Open Nest with Dr. Roz As we embrace this new stage, our very identities are often put to the test. Many of us have built our self-concept around being monogamous and faithful parents. But what happens when we decide to open our relationships or explore new erotic themes? Dr. Roz emphasized that identity is inherently fluid, yet challenging our long-held definitions of faithfulness can shake our core values and relationship safety. Whether we view new relationship styles as a capacity, a behavior, or a deep-seated sexual orientation, navigating these waters requires us to openly redefine what loyalty and commitment mean to us and our partners. For those curious about polyamory, swinging, or kink, Dr. Roz offered some incredibly grounding advice: do not just jump in blindly. It is easy to fall into a “kid in a candy store” mentality, but opening a relationship without preparation is a recipe for disaster. We highly recommend starting with books to educate yourselves before attending local meetups or informational munches. And remember, energy, time, and holidays are not infinite! Bringing new people into your life requires intense communication, boundary-setting, and a mutual understanding that you are initially there just to look and learn. We also dove into the fascinating world of core erotic themes, specifically discussing Jack Morin’s four cornerstones of eroticism: longing and anticipation, prohibition, power dynamics, and overcoming ambivalence. Dr. Roz explained how these themes naturally turn up the heat in our relationships. For example, simply experiencing the longing of a partner being on a date with someone else, or the anticipation of trying something taboo like swinging, can reignite passion in existing partnerships. These dynamics push us to look at our desires through fresh lenses, proving that expanding our erotic capacities can make us infinitely more interesting to ourselves and our partners. Of course, you cannot talk about open relationships without addressing the elephant in the room: jealousy. Dr. Roz was adamant that the polyamory community often unfairly shoves jealousy into the shadow, treating it as something uncool to admit. But if left unexamined, jealousy becomes malignant. We must regularly shine a flashlight on it, breathe through it, and use tools like Kathy Labriola’s The Jealousy Workbook. True compersion—feeling joy for your partner’s pleasure—is not just a magical feeling of lightness and rainbows; it is an active choice to support your partner even while you are actively processing your own jealous insecurities. Finally, we rounded out our beautiful conversation by discussing the lost art of receiving, the central theme of Dr. Roz’s book, The Deep Yes. As parents and partners, we have spent decades giving from a place of scarcity until we are completely burnt out. Dr. Roz taught us that we must learn to receive fully—whether it is food, sleep, touch, or beauty—until we are so full that our giving simply spills over from a place of natural abundance. We are so grateful for Dr. Roz’s wisdom, and we hope this archive dive inspires you to embrace the fluidity, expansion, and beautiful messiness of your own Act 3! About Tessa Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters. Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program, and journey facilitator & leader, author, and, of course, Podcaster. Her offerings are based on her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature. If she had one superpower, it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open-hearted lives. Please email Tessa to make a connection. And visit her page here on the Open Nesters Website. If you like, please answer the question: What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE… Adventure Freedom of Expression Exploration and Fun Body Movement New circles of friends Deep love relationships
