The Problem With Perfect

Robin May and Denise Bickel
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If perfection is an illusion, why are so many of us chasing it? We live in a world that is constantly telling us we need to be it all and have it all to be worthy. It leads us to hide our imperfections and overcompensate our strengths - and leaves us exhausted. Join hosts Robin May and Denise Bickel for meaningful, cross-generational conversations that will leave you uplifted and encouraged about a future freed from the problem with perfect.

  1. DEC 16

    Across Generations: The Joy and Science of Grandparenting

    In this heartfelt episode, we explore why grandparent-grandchild relationships matter, not just emotionally, but based on decades of research. Join us for this episode and learn how grandparents support children’s development, ease the parenting journey, and build lifelong bonds through simple, intentional acts of love, presence, and consistency.  This episode might prepare you for grandparenting in your future or take you on a walk down memory lane with your own grandparents. Either way, we hope you’ll be blessed and encouraged by it. Show Notes: 1. Harvard Graduate School of Education – “The Supporting Role of Grandparents” https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/21st-century-learning-lab/supporting-role-grandparents 2. American Academy of Pediatrics – Grandparents and Child Development https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/Pages/Grandparents-and-Childrens-Development.aspx 3. AARP – The Value of Grandparent-Grandchild Relationships https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2020/value-of-grandparent-relationships.html 4. Pew Research Center – Grandparenting in the 21st Century https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2015/05/21/raising-kids-and-helping-grandkids/ 5. Journal of Family Issues – Emotional Closeness Between Grandparents and Grandchildren https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0192513X16676857 6. The Gerontologist – Benefits of Intergenerational Bonds for Children & Older Adults https://academic.oup.com/gerontologist/article/58/3/472/2632080

    45 min

  2. DEC 9

    Caring To The End: Tom May's Story of Escorting His Mother to Heaven

    Caregiving is a sacred gift. Caring for someone who is chronically or terminally ill requires patience, understanding, and selflessness. Most caregivers are not professional healthcare workers; rather, they are loving family members who dedicate their lives to improving the well-being of their loved ones. Caregiving often presents significant challenges and in this episode, Robin's husband, Tom, is here to talk about them.  His mother, like many individuals who are ill, required round-the-clock care. For Tom and other caregivers who work outside the home, this situation leads to difficult decisions: choose between paying for private care or providing the care themselves. There are no easy solutions to this dilemma, as Tom explains.  When we care for one of God’s children, we are truly doing the Lord’s work. Most who have been in the caregiving role, including Tom after three months at his mother's bedside, deem the experience a blessing beyond measure.  If you aren’t a caregiver but know someone who is, consider offering support, respite, or, at the very least, prayers and encouragement. Also, send them this episode so they know they are not alone. Special Guest: Tom May Tom and his sister committed to keeping their mother at home as she battled Parkinson's Disease and cancer. This commitment didn't come easy or without challenges. He joins us today to discuss them.  Tom is the husband of Robin, and together they have two children and one granddaughter.  Show Notes The Caregiving Crisis No One is Talking About https://www.mariashriversundaypaper.com/the-caregiving-crisis-ai-jen-poo/?utm_source=SailThru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Fall%20Issue%20No.%207%20November%209%2C%202025&utm_term=Sunday%20Paper Caregiver Bill of Rights https://www.caregiver.org/resource/caregivers-bill-rights/ Celebrating National Family Caregivers Month with BLS Data https://www.bls.gov/blog/2023/celebrating-national-family-caregivers-month-with-bls-data.htm The Overwhelming Financial Toll of Family Caregiving https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/financial-impact-caregiving/ Family and Medical Leave Act https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fmla ‘Tis the Season https://denisebickel.com//tis-the-season

    1h 1m

  3. DEC 2

    The Gentle Discipline of Letting Go

    Our fifth and final Yama jewel, Aparigraha, encourages us to embrace non-possessiveness. What do you covet? What do you cling to? Consider what in your life reflects your values and priorities. This month’s Yama invites us to examine the physical possessions we surround ourselves with. Do these items make you feel free and light, or do they weigh you down and create a sense of heaviness? Aparigraha serves as a reminder that breathwork is a perfect example of non-possessiveness. The simple act of inhaling and exhaling teaches us about embracing the fullness of life without the need to cling to it. Instead of holding onto our breath, we allow it to flow, experiencing release and relaxation. This time of year often brings many obligations and expectations. Aparigraha urges us to be gentle with ourselves and with others. When we extend unconditional love, we model non-possessiveness and promote acceptance and forgiveness. What a beautiful way to end the year! Show Notes: The Yamas and Niyamas: Exploring The Ethical Practice of Yoga by Deborah Adele

    44 min

  4. NOV 25

    God, Food, and the Holidays: Replacing Guilt with Gratitude

    Join us as we dive into a struggle so many women face but rarely talk about: the stress, guilt, and pressure around food during the holiday season. Why is it so hard to feel in control around holiday food? Why do we swing between restriction and overindulgence? Judge our eating as “good” and “bad?” And why does January leave so many of us feeling ashamed and desperate for a “fresh start”? With a blend of intuitive eating insights and faith-filled encouragement, this episode unpacks the real reasons holiday eating feels overwhelming, and offers practical, life-giving tools to help us approach this season with peace instead of pressure. If you’ve ever felt anxious at holiday dinners, guilty after parties, or frustrated with yourself for not having “more discipline,” this conversation will leave you feeling seen, understood, and encouraged. Show Notes: Intuitive Eating for the Holidays: https://extension.sdstate.edu/intuitive-eating-practices-and-strategies-holiday-season Center for Discovery: Intuitive Eating Practices During the Holidays: https://centerfordiscovery.com/blog/intuitive-eating-practices-during-the-holidays/ Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach by Evelyn Tribole & Elyse Resch How to Build a Balanced Guilt-free Thanksgiving https://intermountainhealthcare.org/blogs/how-to-build-a-balanced-guilt-free-thanksgiving-plate?utm_source=Health360&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Health360

    51 min

  5. NOV 18

    The Gift of No: Unwrapping People Pleasing During the Holidays

    As the holidays approach, it’s a great time to evaluate how you want to spend your time and energy. Do you want to be relaxed and peace-filled, or would you rather be frazzled and frantic? The choice is yours.  People pleasing is a trait that may sound generous and kind, but often leads to resentment and frustration. Knowing how and why we tend to over-commit and people-please are important factors in reducing our stress and exhaustion, especially during the next few weeks. People-pleasing is a habit, and it takes time and determination to conquer. Once you master people-pleasing over the holidays, we hope you will continue the practice in your everyday life. The Bible says, "God loves a cheerful giver." This season, let’s focus on what truly matters to us instead of getting caught up in our to-do lists or the expectations of others. Simplify your life, take a deep breath, and give with a cheerful heart. As much as we might not want to admit, the choice really is ours. Let’s choose wisely.  Show notes: 8 Ways to Stop People - Pleasing https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser-5184412 People Pleasing: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/people-pleasing#the-traits-of-a-people-pleaser To do your own values assessment, go to https://thewellnesssociety.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Values-Worksheets.pdf

    54 min

  6. NOV 11

    How to Ruthlessly Eliminate the Holiday Hurry to Rediscover God’s Rhythm

    It’s the most wonderful time of the year… and the most exhausting. Between the decorating, the baking, the shopping, and the pressure to make everything magical, our souls can feel more hurried than holy. In this episode, we slow down to talk about what it really means to rest during the holidays, not just physically, but spiritually. Drawing from The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer, The Deeply Formed Life by Rich Villodas, and the practice of Slow Living, join us as we explore how doing less will actually help us experience more: more peace, more joy, and more presence with the people (and the God) who matter most. If you feel like you’re carrying the weight of making the holidays “perfect,” this conversation will remind you that perfection isn’t the point - presence is. You’ll walk away with practical ideas to simplify the season, breathe deeply, and rediscover the sacred rhythm of rest, even in the holiday hurry. Show Notes: The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer The Deeply Formed Life by Rich Villodas Slow Living Articles: Already Stressed About the Holidays?https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/story/2025-11-06/tips-holiday-overwhelm-stress-niro-feliciano How to Slow Down During the Holidays              https://caitlinhoustonblog.com/how-to-slow-down-during-the-holidays/ Why Doing Nothing Intentionally is Good for Us: The Rise of the Slow Living Movement.                                           https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20240724-why-doing-nothing-intentionally-is-good-for-us-the-rise-of-the-slow-living-movement

    55 min

  7. NOV 4

    The Freedom of Enough: Practicing Non-Excess in a World of More

    November is often a time for giving thanks, and the 4th Yama, Brahmacharya, encourages us to be grateful for having “just enough,” and to practice “nonexcess.” We live in a world that can rob us of our time, money, and energy while we pursue better and newer and more. Brahmacharya asks us to examine our priorities and to focus on what really matters. Are we living in communion with God? Are we sacrificing our precious time and energy in pursuit of worldly excess? Do we recognize when we have “just enough” and refrain from overindulgence? Brahmacharya seems like the perfect Yama to practice in November. Let’s practice nonexcess in our daily lives. Let’s practice gratitude for all that we have rather than focusing on our have-nots. Let’s strive to see the divine in all people and moments. Let’s do more with less. Show Notes: Denise's meditation at the end of the episode: May you rest in the space of ‘good enough.’ You are good. You are enough. You are sufficient in this moment, just as you are. You deserve goodness and kindness and hope and help.”  ‘Head to the floor, I breathe in and out, thankful for my breath and my body and gravity. Earth herself. Through this, I reveal the blessings. There are always some, sometimes many! Each day a new world to make what is possible real and fully embodied. I awaken awareness of my own influence to create kindness, depth, and love in every moment.”   “Grant me daily the grace of gratitude. To be thankful for all my many gifts, and so be freed from artificial needs, that I might lead a joyful, simple life.” Edward Hays, OSB The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele

    42 min

  8. OCT 28

    When Love Hurts: The Psychology of Abuse and Recovery With June Berlinger

    October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Statistics indicate that approximately 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. Every minute in the U.S., about 20 to 24 people are physically abused by an intimate partner, amounting to more than 12 million individuals each year. Domestic violence also impacts millions of children, and the economic toll is substantial, resulting in nearly 8 million lost workdays annually in the U.S.   Our guest today, June Sheehan Berlinger, RN, has authored a powerful account of her personal experience with domestic violence in her book, "Rising Above the Trauma of Abuse." June is a nationally recognized expert on this issue, and her dual perspective makes her book both deeply personal and practical.  Given the prevalence of this social issue, along with the secrecy and stigma that often surround those affected, many victims suffer in silence. June urges us to speak out and take a stand against all forms of domestic violence. By doing so, you could help save a life. Special Guest: June Berlinger, Author and Domestic Abuse Advocate  June Sheehan Berlinger, BSN, is a survivor, mother, nurse, writer, and public speaker. She dedicated her career to helping women. June served on Florida’s Governor’s Domestic and Sexual Violence Task Force from 1994–1997 and directed The Women’s Center at Tallahassee Memorial HealthCare for 14 years. Her pioneering work includes developing Florida’s first hospital protocol for domestic violence and FIRST STEP, a victim handbook that was distributed statewide. A four-time published author, June has trained health and mental healthcare professionals, law enforcement, and legal teams across the U.S. She lives with her husband, Tom in Denver, CO. To learn more about June, go to risingabovetrauma.net. Resources: The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides free, 24/7 confidential help at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). The National Child Traumatic Stress Network: https://www.nctsn.org/resources/public-awareness/national-domestic-violence-awareness-monthRising Above The Trauma of Abuse by June Sheehan Berlinger, BSNrisingabovetrauma.net

    55 min
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About

If perfection is an illusion, why are so many of us chasing it? We live in a world that is constantly telling us we need to be it all and have it all to be worthy. It leads us to hide our imperfections and overcompensate our strengths - and leaves us exhausted. Join hosts Robin May and Denise Bickel for meaningful, cross-generational conversations that will leave you uplifted and encouraged about a future freed from the problem with perfect.

Information

  • Creator
    Robin May and Denise Bickel
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2025
  • Episodes
    341
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025 The Problem With Perfect
  • Show Website
    The Problem With Perfect

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