I do reckless things when I’m bored.
Name: I’m not telling you my name! Call me MJ if you want.
Age: not telling you that either.
Birthday: I’ll give you a hint. It comes once every 365 days (except for leap years) and it’s in a month. What month? STOP PRYING. anyway, how’s your family going? any drama?
Hobbies: reading, writing comedy and rom-coms, watching funny movies, being sassy, writing songs, calling my friends, trying not to die
Address: ARE YOU CRAZY?! I DON’T WANT SOMEONE KNOCKING ON MY DOOR SAYING “Hey I read your review and you’re funny wanna be friends?”
Love life: …I have one! Yep! Totally.
Why are you looking at me like that?
I’M NOT SWEATING YOU’RE SWEATING.
Skills: For such a cocky person, I really can’t name any definitive skills.
Except for singing, running, roasting people, making people mad, lying, manipulation, negotiation…
I am a terrible person!
Favorite food: chicken dipped in orange sauce, dumplings, Mac and cheese (I’m simple like that) cheese pizza, cheesy bread, cheese, um…cheese
Notes: I’m smart for my age (which I still won’t say!) and I have excellent hearing and a fantastic fake British accent (I talk to myself in a British accent. I swear I’m normal).
Life Purpose: WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, A PHILOSOPHER? Well, you can’t see me, but I look something like this: 🧀
That’s not even a distant resemblance. I am not cheese.
Probably not.
But I guess I do have a purpose, and that’s making people laugh.
I guess I’m pretty okayish.
But what do I know? I’m only the funniest person in my household.
Did that sound cocky?
Good. Now you know who I am.
Now go do something productive instead of doomscrolling! That pile of dirty socks gained sentience two weeks ago!
Also what the heck people? The war just became a bunch of people called “peace makers” trying to end the war they started! This is not a school! You are not an administrator! You are telling a podcast what they can do better! That is it!
(I’m such a hypocrite)
Well, anyways, I want this useless war to end, so I guess I’m a pm. Yes, I called it useless. No, I won’t apologize. Can’t you just accept people are different and move on? Who cares about skin color or religion or gender?
If I ruffled your feathers, I can recommend a brand of feather brushes! “Quality in every stroke.”