The Rum Runnas Podcast The Rum Runnas Podcast | RRPN
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- Comedy
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We Read The Clickbait So You Don't Have To!
The Comedy News Show that no one knew that they actually needed. Every week Jarred and Kyle jump into the weirdest and funniest news articles from all over the internet, giving their own brand of off the cuff humor while trying to decipher: news stories so poorly written that there's no way that a professional news syndication published it (we're looking at you Fox News), or crimes so dumb that it seems impossible a person chose to commit them, and of course stories so NSFW that you'll blush just listening to us explain it (and it happens a lot)!
We find out if there's actually more to a story than just a headline, we click on the links you're too nervous to click on, and we waste our time so you don't waste yours. So listen to us waste your time because in the end...it's funny!
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Mother's Day Madness
Happy Mother's Day from the Rum Runnas! In the spirit of the day here are a few mom centric stories that will make you feel like calling your Mom no matter your relationship and saying "Hey, Thanks for not being Terrible."
From a Mother in India who threw her 6 year old disabled son into a crocodile infested canal because her husband kept blaming her for making a broken kid!
To a PA Mom at a local little league field, forgetting her son wasn't in the car after having a few too many drinks and backing directly into him!
So no matter what your mom's like at least she's not these two, so to all the Mom's trying their best and not throwing their kids to the crocodiles or hitting them with their cars have a Very Happy Mother's Day from the Rum Runnas!
We Read The Click Bait So You Don't Have To!
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Twitter: https://twitter.com/Rumpod
Support Us On:
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*Watch nearly Unedited Video Versions of this Episode and More available to Patrons
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Featured Stories / Sources:
Don't Just Throw Out the Whole Kid / People:
https://people.com/mom-accused-throwing-son-canal-eaten-crocodiles-8644765?mibextid=K35XfP
Was That a Speed Bump or my Kid / 6ABC:
https://6abc.com/post/delaware-county-mother-facing-dui-charges-after-allegedly-backing-into-son-in-newtown-edgmont-little-league-parking-lot/14781068/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR3qnM7WYSx7CSZSeoJTVQN9Jbg5VBKQF6dG-7mqIaeVrRaE2i_o-Y9n3sk_aem_AStw4gD7NJ-YEK8MQihEI8BbB4XZMFuCevOsVxy1Xh43Z-4nACp1_ITXqwdL6PQpdp--urdPDaRISoyxYCQnd3lH&mibextid=K35XfP#lw0thydq9e58ycpst1d
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We'll Take 3 Elephants
Jarred and Kyle are back to go over more of the internet's weirdest and funniest news stories. This week the guys talk about a Botswana threatening Germany with Elephants and Cambodia hating dancing.
The President of Botswana threatens to send 20,000 Live Elephants to Germany if they don't change their current ban on the import of hunting trophies to combat poaching. Honestly if your giving away Elephants we'll take 3!
Cambodian President outlaws musical car horns because he saw a video on the internets that showed kids dancing to them, no one let this guy know about car radios or driving in Cambodia will be accompanied by only the sounds of the wind a blowing.
We Read The Click Bait So You Don't Have To!
Follow Us On:
Website: www.rumrunnaspodcastnetwork.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RumRunnas
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/RumRunnas/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Rumpod
Support Us On:
https://www.patreon.com/Rumrunnas/
*Watch nearly Unedited Video Versions of this Episode and More available to Patrons
Join the Conversation and Speak With Us on Discord:
https://discord.gg/ccBCQ3sJ
Featured Stories / Sources:
Send in the Elephants / The Guardian:
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/apr/03/botswana-threatens-to-send-20000-elephants-to-germany-in-trophy-hunting-row?fbclid=IwAR1ZLiHQs_-Zy-tjuET3V2V-gLYJZfzoNlj4r2EhJCDG6eDMJT2wUCQKx0I_aem_AUxefzAv-YbZgEvdZ-hoK0EQ4f6eJgpnDAYhCu64pXkfLqcjLB4V3Q76-g34xLz_lLM
Dancing is for the Devil / The Guardian:
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/mar/19/cambodian-prime-minister-hun-manet-bans-musical-vehicle-horns-to-deter-dancing?fbclid=IwAR3XEjvZ5Ol9WSaqXV2383BDK_DuyLV6lvPg64TJZ8DtFa84Np1S-E4zUrk_aem_AUzpi80ZJCV4eCfArk2D5vuq4WX7eZeYtHpg0Jn_elZy9WtozNptBUT6dxt3e9kq-VY
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The Nuduelist and The Missing Brain
Jarred and Kyle are back to go over more of the internet's weirdest and funniest news stories. This week the guys talk about a Nude Duelist aka a Nuduelist fighting at Venice Beach with a Spiked Club and an AL Prisoner who died and was returned to his family with no brain.
A Nude Woman in CA was videoed fighting with a clothed woman (shirts vs skins) each battling with specifically spiked clubs. Even though this fight took place in front of witnesses and people were filming this no reports or charges have been filed.
An AL man died in prison and his family is trying to figure out why he was returned with no brain...but to make it even worse he was missing all of his organs.
We Read The Click Bait So You Don't Have To!
Follow Us On:
Website: www.rumrunnaspodcastnetwork.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RumRunnas
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/RumRunnas/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Rumpod
Support Us On:
https://www.patreon.com/Rumrunnas/
*Watch nearly Unedited Video Versions of this Episode and More available to Patrons
Join the Conversation and Speak With Us on Discord:
https://discord.gg/ccBCQ3sJ
Featured Stories / Sources:
Naked Duel on the Beach / NBC:
https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/nude-woman-spiked-club-venice-beach/3351086/?fbclid=IwAR3OGYnqy2l21uf_bC8fgK8Ewp4aaob3wTs59qN6IWUxNlFJU0fBAxamaZg_aem_AcJ_Ne8cdKthpHd5wPFQ9zwl8YnLhHOdLe3EsNCDRznQSAl7tMYQKvSuXgg_-hFJVZw
Didn't this dead guy have a brain / AL . com
https://www.al.com/news/birmingham/2024/02/alabama-prisoners-brain-missing-after-uab-autopsy-says-family.html?utm_source=reddit.com&fbclid=IwAR2Fwwecj6tGqrZ5aUJfQRtJyKbC9nH2Shu6cIHL1LtYZj9YBAk-kPLM9vI_aem_AfXbmKbTvdrH6-ac9Fhxp9VbG61xDxX-Ug9YrUnsexnPinXY7Z9zGwKvqXseOU1C2aQ
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Is It AI News?!
Jarred and Kyle are back to go over more of the internet's weirdest and funniest news stories. This week the news goes feudal with both stories involving ancient Japanese warriors, well one involved a "samurai sword" and the other involved "ninja-like people":
In Vancouver WA a man is arrested for threatening people in Walmart with a samurai sword, that's pretty much all the story told us; the craziest thing to come out of this story is that we still after (not exhaustive but a decent amount of) research we still have no idea if this story is real or not because the story was so short and lacked any substance on any "legitimate" (cough* Fox News cough*) News Source and the better written more detailed source was literally NEWS GPT!!! So what came first the Fox Story or the AI Story...honestly we don't know.
GA is arrested for firing 127 ROUNDS at a store, shooting at "ninja-like" people, and hitting nothing but inanimate objects. We know that sounds (not even vaguely but very) racist on first listen, but we've reached a couple of options as to what happened. 1: This man was playing a real-life prop hunt and didn't win. 2: He stole a motorcycle and really hated the guy he was robbing so he really really really shot up the place. 3: This man is basically John Wick, he was actually being attacked by ninjas sent by a secret underground criminal syndicate and he did kill a bunch of them but the super-elite syndicate cleaned up the bodies before the cops got there (honestly think about how crazy John Wick would sound if he got arrested and tried to explain what he was doing). 4: Meth! All equally plausible.
We Read The Click Bait So You Don't Have To!
Follow Us On:
Website: www.rumrunnaspodcastnetwork.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RumRunnas
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/RumRunnas/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Rumpod
Support Us On:
https://www.patreon.com/Rumrunnas/
*Watch nearly Unedited Video Versions of this Episode available to Patrons
Join the Conversation and Speak With Us on Discord:
https://discord.gg/ccBCQ3sJ
Featured Stories / Sources:
Walmart Sword Battles (AI or Not AI That is the Question) / FOX12:
https://www.kptv.com/2024/02/05/man-with-samurai-sword-threatens-people-walmart-vancouver/?fbclid=IwAR0DIlIgW8CQGTroEX6nLEg7O611tSDAwatVDb-46BVfzzxjHWhtkt7nKUw_aem_ARKO8s9nXsLT_lllmFGacnRkci5iLic8ho2wsnw5LRJgkTrAHjreEzHlJf2Orpj0EZI#lshmdtrc0yeho7bcmbw
It was them damn Ninjas / MDJ Online:
https://www.mdjonline.com/news/police_fire/marietta-man-accused-of-shooting-127-rounds-at-ninja-like-people/article_2ee7376e-bae9-11ee-9eeb-3fc90ac10133.html?fbclid=IwAR3xVcrEuKWHb9uPWdz0GfwmVgKqgJCgXoYYj5aSFInb7gDZORw5UGn8fls_aem_ARIzz2kKD39Oe6UBzj2T9tfAOrhCgVf25OzF88PQKQtuM4Vu3o1G-8HWUT98Psgkeog
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Batteries Don't Belong in There!
Jarred and Kyle are back to go over more of the internet's weirdest and funniest news stories. This week the guys start with an apparent biblical smiting and end on a good old-fashioned Rum Runnas brand story involving stuff being inserted into a part of the body it doesn't belong. Stories this week include:
A football player in Indonesia is struck by lightning and killed in the middle of the game. This is why you should definitely never play sports during a rain storm, but we honestly don't know the odds that this would happen with the sheer amount of taller and most likely metal objects that are all around sports stadiums how did a lightning bolt pick one player out. This is one of the few instances where the chance of a higher power might be real...and apparently, they bet on the opposing team.
An AUS man is in the hospital after attempting to get sexual gratification by shoving 3 (YES 3) batteries into his PENIS!!! We'll let the wave of pain fade from the male audience. We don't know why he did it or how he planned on getting it out, but this man shoved 3 BATTERIES IN HIS PENIS and then waited a whole 24 hours to go to the hospital! And then his penis started DYING!!!! Some people don't deserve to have a penis and the doctors agreed with that sentiment.
We Read The Click Bait So You Don't Have To!
Follow Us On:
Website: www.rumrunnaspodcastnetwork.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RumRunnas
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/RumRunnas/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Rumpod
Support Us On:
https://www.patreon.com/Rumrunnas/
*Watch nearly Unedited Video Versions of this Episode available to Patrons
Featured Stories / Sources:
If there's a God, They bet on the Other Team / the Hindustan Times:
https://www.hindustantimes.com/trending/footballer-dies-after-being-hit-by-lightning-in-indonesia-harrowing-incident-captured-on-camera-101707743854587.html?fbclid=IwAR3YuTni4E5n-2buq81ZvTJNLUJDoQhMs6C0vvaO2tlyPTSAwY2CHP4bLuQ_aem_AfX1xXrxqg5wAL6GTTO87M59n33chj9TORJPs78rHRf36C5WrdsSA8hnwAm9cnWYYDY
Don't Stick Those In There!!! / NDTV World:
https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/australia-doctors-remove-batteries-from-mans-penis-after-he-shoved-them-in-for-sexual-gratification-5073715/amp/1
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Swans v. Catapults
Jarred and Kyle are back to go over more of the internet's weirdest and funniest news stories. This week the guys start with a complete misunderstanding and end on a violent story that they don't know how to feel about. From UK people using weird words and making us think there is a war on birds with medieval weapons to a CO man "allegedly" biting off a cop's finger and all our thoughts on how it's alleged. Stories this week include:
In the UK Swans are under attack in a Swan Sanctuary, now 4 swans are dead and the method of death is a catapult. As two schmucks from America when we hear catapult we think medieval siege engines! Apparently, that's not what the UK thinks of when they hear catapults they think a freaking slingshot. We were disappointed with the twist but that didn't stop us from coming up with a slew of alternate theories of how 'swan attacks can leave 4 dead by catapult'.
In CO a man is in trouble for "allegedly" biting off a cop's finger, we didn't read any of the article before immediately building an elaborate tale of a young partner's hatred for his old backward-thinking partner with a penchant for unnecessary violence. In a world where you are that hated by your partner who truly would believe you didn't cut off your own finger? In the end, we discovered more but not enough info and have a few theories: 1: The guy really was a D-Bag and bit off the cop's finger 2: He was attacked by ninjas 3: he was possessed by a ghost like from the movie Fallen 4: This cop sucks and he cut off his own finger by uppercutting the man and hammer-fisting while his finger was in his mouth 5: The cop is entrapping this man and cut off his finger to sell it 6: It's meth! All Equally Plausible!
We Read The Click Bait So You Don't Have To!
Follow Us On:
Website: www.rumrunnaspodcastnetwork.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RumRunnas
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/RumRunnas/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Rumpod
Support Us On:
https://www.patreon.com/Rumrunnas/
*Watch nearly Unedited Video Versions of this Episode available to Patrons
Featured Stories / Sources:
UK v Swans but with Catapults / BBC:
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-surrey-68207847?fbclid=IwAR0-4vRsxIROAdtWkDmkx9srAa4pPJEN6gIQXkGclcf1mO1jPupLcHIz6v8_aem_ARJJcKe3sbBR-PWE50vZGInGDcG9wqWB2ezj7Cu1KL9Gyr_7lGNRLYFRgmi3l6jyymM
How did he maybe bite off a finger / KQRE:
https://www.krqe.com/news/weird/man-allegedly-bites-off-spits-out-part-of-officers-finger-during-arrest-in-denver/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark&fbclid=IwAR1k1a5Z9FYQPQRj5BFqRYCyVzG-VnvD7vBnaPjzMNIU3LusPcLKSdKgbyk_aem_ARJzsZc3eWXmm4oV7ZiXey2RP7Ac6CJLXaPDq3haZPHZj3uZzt07QlfC42ySBsc8bWM
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Customer Reviews
Love the energy!
Fun concept, great hosts, & just plan fun to listen to!
Love!
Great concept, fun show, big energy!
Love this show
I’ve been known to waste hours on clickbait crap. Those days are OVER. Love these guys and their witty banter. Their takes on ridiculous meaningless internet content is hilarious and spot on.