The Silence Between Hello

Jenny Skoog Mondesir
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The Silence Between Hello is about what we inherit from our families and what we leave behind. Each season explores one family member through the artifacts of their lives: voicemails, diary entries, handmade objects, and the complicated legacy of religious fundamentalism. It's about the complexity of love across difference and distance, the weight of faith used as control, and the silence that both protects and harms.

  1. Ep 7: "What The Dig Revealed"

    09/23/2025

    Ep 7: "What The Dig Revealed"

    After seven episodes of archaeological excavation, all the evidence is assembled: Dad's 1939 diary, million-mile certificate, 2019 recording, and handcrafted desk where this final episode is recorded. What emerges isn't the simple story of a gentle man who never complained, but something far more complex—a human being who learned to thrive despite repeated attempts to make him disappear. We discover Dad was a beloved, confident boy who learned strategic stepping back after military rejection and church exclusion. Instead of becoming bitter, he channeled each rejection into increased competence, becoming the safest driver on the road when told his body was unfit, creating beauty with his hands when his voice was unwelcome. The complete picture reveals a man operating on a frequency most people couldn't tune into—his love was constant but quiet, his strength was endurance rather than dominance. We explore his small rebellions (Hank Williams humming, hard candies in the car console) and his innovative love language where oil changes meant "I want you to be safe" and handcrafted furniture meant "I want to create something lasting for you." The final understanding: Dad was never absent or mysterious—he was speaking a language of love that required attention to understand, loving the world in his own particular way through lasting creation rather than temporary words.

    12 min
  2. Ep 6: "Surface Findings"

    09/16/2025

    Ep 6: "Surface Findings"

    Two teenage sisters sunbathing on the roof, completely absorbed in their own thoughts, until Dad grabs the garden hose and soaks them from the yard below—his mischievous chuckle giving him away completely. This episode excavates the surface layer: the memories of Dad as father, gentle antagonist, and loving presence. We explore his playful love language of physical humor—flicking Mom's ear while she read, pinching arms unexpectedly, grabbing toes during book reading. Through the dress shopping disaster at Boyd's department store where Dad put the dress on backwards, we see him completely out of his element but showing up anyway because presence mattered more than competence. The most treasured memories emerge: bedtime stories where his speech difficulties became simply the unique sound of father's love, and the tender moment when he carried young Jenny through snow to meet a newborn calf named "Knobby"—teaching her that differences could be interesting rather than shameful. We discover Dad's hidden frequency of love: quiet but constant, physical rather than verbal, practical rather than demonstrative. But the episode also explores his limitations—his conflict avoidance sometimes failed when intervention was needed. The surface findings reveal that Dad wasn't unseen by choice—he'd learned to express himself in ways that felt safe after a lifetime of rejection.

    10 min
  3. Ep 5: "The Work Layer"

    09/09/2025

    Ep 5: "The Work Layer"

    Twenty-five thousand hours. Twelve and a half years of full-time work behind the wheel with perfect performance. Dad's 1975 Million Mile Club certificate represents something profound—proof of worth that couldn't be mocked or dismissed, achievement measured not in words but in miles. This episode excavates the work layer where Dad wasn't the rejected 4-F or mocked churchgoer, but a man whose competence spoke so loudly nobody questioned his worth. In the trucking brotherhood, Dad found unqualified respect based purely on merit—for the first time in his life, being different didn't matter, only being good at what you did. But his truest voice emerged in his woodworking shop, crafting benches, chairs, and desks gifted to family members, expressing love through lasting creation when words felt insufficient. We discover Dad's small rebellions: humming prohibited Hank Williams songs, playing harmonica alone in his bedroom, keeping hard candies scattered in his car console. Through Saturday sauna gatherings with lifelong friends and his retirement work transporting people with Down syndrome, we see how Dad found communities that appreciated him exactly as he was. This layer reveals a master craftsman who built his reputation mile by mile, project by project, proving his extraordinary worth through reliability and skill.

    13 min
  4. Ep 4: "The Marriage Stratum"

    09/02/2025

    Ep 4: "The Marriage Stratum"

    After sixty years of marriage, Dad still teases Mom in their 2019 recording—but even his humor has learned to stay small and safe. This episode excavates the marriage stratum where Dad found love and companionship, but also where the final pieces of his authentic voice disappeared. We discover that their early marriage had shouting matches and Dad fighting back, but somewhere along the way he learned that peace was more valuable than being heard. Through drive-through interactions where Mom speaks for him and family dynamics where she manages while he provides, we see how love can both sustain and silence. Dad's father wasn't Laestadian—he came to faith through marriage and social expectation, which explains why he never pressured Jenny about leaving the church while Mom applied all the religious pressure. We explore Dad's unique love language: building birdhouses for Mom's birdwatching, shooting squirrels that raided her bird feeders, cleaning his plate with homemade bread while she kept the cookie jar full. But we also discover Dad hadn't lost his voice entirely—he was a master storyteller at the family dinner table and had authority on road trips. He'd simply learned to compartmentalize his voice, saving stories for his kids, authority for driving, and teasing for safe moments with Mom.

    10 min
  5. Ep 3: "The Sediment of Rejection"

    08/26/2025

    Ep 3: "The Sediment of Rejection"

    The beloved boy from the 1939 diary didn't choose to disappear—the world taught him it was the only way to survive. In 1942, fifteen-year-old Roy watches his brothers prepare for military service while his cleft palate and flat feet earn him a 4-F classification: medically unfit. Three generations of Skoog men had proved their American worth through military service, but Roy breaks the family tradition. This rejection cuts deep, but it's just the beginning. At church—the one place where his loving family, adoring classmates, and respectful coworkers could communicate with him perfectly—certain men choose to make his speech impediment a source of entertainment. Dad gets excluded from leadership roles not because he can't communicate, but because these men choose not to listen. This episode excavates how rejection accumulates like sediment, teaching a naturally confident, charismatic child that his voice is a liability. We see how Dad learns survival strategies: prove worth through work instead of words, lead through example instead of speech, be useful without being noticeable. The farm becomes his refuge where animals don't judge, work becomes his language of worth, and that famous reliability transforms from personality trait to survival strategy.

    9 min
  6. Ep 2 “The Deepest Layer: The Boy”

    08/19/2025

    Ep 2 “The Deepest Layer: The Boy”

    Before Roy Skoog became the quiet truck driver who rarely spoke, he was the most popular boy in his 1939 school diary—asking girls for autographs, inspiring predictions of success and being told he "gives the girls a chance." But to understand this confident child, we must dig even deeper to uncover the tragedy that shaped his understanding of love and loss. At age seven, Roy witnessed his beloved Aunt Lydia die in a horrific fire after she'd spent months holding his family together while his father fought tuberculosis. This episode excavates the deepest archaeological layer: how a boy learned that good people suffer terribly, that acts of service express lasting love, and that the proper response to witnessing pain is increased tenderness, not hardness. Through fragile diary pages filled with "forget-me-not" messages from adoring classmates and a teacher's prophecy about his character, we discover that Dad was loved first, celebrated before he was silenced, seen as special before he learned to step back. The evidence is clear: everything that came after—the silence, the stepping back, the careful self-concealment—was learned behavior.

    15 min
  7. Ep 1 Uncovering Dad: "The Dig Begins"

    08/12/2025

    Ep 1 Uncovering Dad: "The Dig Begins"

    What can a 1937 autograph book reveal about a man who spent his life in silence? In this season premiere, Jenny begins an archaeological dig through her father's artifacts, discovering that the "quiet" truck driver she knew was once the most beloved boy in his rural Minnesota school. Using his handwritten diary, million-mile driving certificate, and handcrafted furniture as evidence, she starts to uncover what happened to transform a confident, charismatic child into a man who learned to love sideways. This isn't just grief processing—it's detective work, piecing together the complete picture of a person who lived underneath a carefully constructed identity. Episode 1 sets up the excavation site and reveals the central mystery: When did Dad learn to disappear, and why?

    14 min

  8. 07/08/2025

    Episode 7: "I Feel Like I'm Just a Failure of a Mom" - The Fullness of Love

    In this final episode, I talk about my mom's final voicemail and life since her funeral. For months, I found myself reaching for my phone on Mondays and Thursdays, the days we usually spoke. The absence of her calls created a negative space in my routine where her voice had been. I would catch myself thinking, "I should tell Mom about this," before remembering she was gone.  In the end, what remains when everything else falls away is the actual love we managed to create together, day by day, call by call, reaching across all the silences between us. Thank you for joining me on this journey through "The Silence Between Hello." If you'd like to learn more about my work or connect with me, you can find me at jennyskoog.com or on Substack! The soundtrack for this podcast is called “The Way The Wind Blows” and was produced by Simon Jomphe Lepine. Special thanks to my husband James for his sound editing, encouragement, and inspiration throughout this project, and our pup Frankie, who snuggled in with emotional support.

    19 min
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About

The Silence Between Hello is about what we inherit from our families and what we leave behind. Each season explores one family member through the artifacts of their lives: voicemails, diary entries, handmade objects, and the complicated legacy of religious fundamentalism. It's about the complexity of love across difference and distance, the weight of faith used as control, and the silence that both protects and harms.

Information

  • Creator
    Jenny Skoog Mondesir
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    14
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright Jenny Skoog Mondesir
  • Show Website
    The Silence Between Hello