The Silent Why: finding hope in grief and loss

Claire Sandys
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Claire Sandys is on a mission to see if it's possible to find hope in 101 different types of loss and grief (often joined by husband Chris). New ad-free episodes every other Tuesday. With childless (not by choice) hosts, this podcast is packed with deep, honest experiences of grief and hope from inspiring guests. You also get: tips on how to navigate and prepare for loss, blogs, experts, exploring how loss is handled on TV, and plenty of Hermans. For more visit: www.thesilentwhy.com.

  1. 3D AGO

    Graveyard Musings: Wolvercote, Oxford (grave of JRR Tolkien - author of The Lord of the Rings)

    #146. I've always loved graveyards. I'm not sure what it is about them that draws me in, but a little while ago I decided to record my musings as I wander round them. So that's what these Graveyard Musing episodes are, just me and my phone, in a graveyard. And sometimes I go international (but not this one) and sometimes Chris joins me (like this one). Anyway, welcome to another Graveyard Musing from me, Claire Sandys (host of The Silent Why podcast). In this musing, Chris (husband) and I are wandering around Wolvercote Cemetery in Oxford, England - because there was one very special grave there that we wanted to see... that of the author, JRR Tolkien.  So, come with us to hear our impromptu musings as we explore where one of the world's most famous authors is buried. For the photos that accompany this episode, so you can visualise what we're talking about, visit: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/graveyard-musings-goes-to-oxford If you want to hear more episodes like this, check out: Graveyard Musings, Tyne Cot & Ypres, Belgium: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7f63d7e9/graveyard-musings-tyne-cot-and-ypres-belgium Graveyard Musings, Moorslede, Belgium: https://thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com/1799189/episodes/15249654-graveyard-musings-moorslede-belgium Graveyard Musings: Llanfair Talhaiarn, Wales: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7e418cc4/graveyard-musings-llanfair-talhaiarn-wales Graveyard Musings: Gloucestershire, England (Part 1 of 3): https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/76b3f1f7/graveyard-musings-gloucestershire-england-part-1 Send us Fan Mail Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    22 min

  2. MAR 10

    The Grief Toolshed: Compost - it's all about balance (& worms)

    #145.  How can a metaphorical bag of compost help us get through grief? Let's find out. This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss. Welcome to my brand-new series of episodes - The Grief Toolshed. In this series, I’m visiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up. And in this episode, I’m looking at how a bag of compost (given to us by Dr Colleen Crary, in her Let’s Chat episode about PTSD), can help us prepare for, and get through, grief. Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most. Listen to Colleen’s full episode, Let’s Chat… PTSD, here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/772c3bcd/lets-chat-ptsd-with-dr-colleen-crary If all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the episode I put out introducing this new series, ‘Introducing… The Grief Toolshed’: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshed Send us Fan Mail Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    18 min

  3. FEB 24

    The Grief Toolshed: The Spade - let's dig deep into grief

    #144.  How can a metaphorical spade help us get through grief? Let's find out. This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss. Welcome to my brand-new series of episodes - The Grief Toolshed. In this series, I’m visiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up. And in this episode, I’m looking at how the spade (given to us by Sue Brayne, in her Let’s Chat episode about mortality), can help us prepare for, and get through, grief. If all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the intro episode I put out first: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshed Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most. Listen to Sue’s full episode, Let’s Chat… Mortality, here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/4c89d4f7/lets-chat-mortality-with-sue-brayne  Send us Fan Mail Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    14 min

  4. FEB 17

    Introducing... The Grief Toolshed

    #143.  How can we make sure we have the right tools when we face grief?  This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss. After a short break, I’m back with a brand-new series of episodes. It’s called The Grief Toolshed. In this series, I’ll be revisiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up. Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most. Send us Fan Mail Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    15 min

  5. JAN 6

    New Year, New Loss, New Schedule

    #142. Well, it's finally here. Another new year. How are you feeling as we head into 2026? This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss, and we're Chris & Claire Sandys, your childless hosts. New Year's aren't easy for many people, so wherever you find yourself emotionally, this short episode is here to offer you a bit of hope and encouragement for the days ahead, and remind you that you're not alone if your year hasn’t started as you hoped.  Plus, I share about a recent loss we've been going through, and explain why there might be a bit of a delay before the next episode is released. And here are the links to read, or listen to, the blogs I mention: Know Hope: https://thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com/1799189/episodes/14113284-blog-my-why-know-hope We've all got triggers, but did you know you have glimmers too?: https://thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com/1799189/episodes/12776245-blog-my-why-we-ve-all-got-triggers-but-did-you-know-you-have-glimmers-too  Send us Fan Mail Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    14 min

  6. 12/23/2025

    Chris & Claire's Chatty Christmas Catch-Up 2025

    #141. Struggling with the festive season? You're not alone. It's not an easy time of year, and it’s been a season of both highs and lows for us too over the years.  This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss, and we're Chris & Claire Sandys, your childless hosts. Each year, we share a Christmas episode where we check in with how we’re really feeling about the festive season, childlessness, and everything that comes with it. Some years, we’re coping well. Other years, not so much. So where are we in 2025?  You'll have to tune in to find out, but a sneak peek would tell you that we chat about; what it's like being back in a cold, wintery, Christmasy UK (after 8 weeks in Australia), how we're both feeling about being childless, what a visit to our local cathedral was like, and, of course, the vital importance of Christmas food. If you’d like to explore our previous Christmas episodes and blogs (as mentioned in the episode, plus more), you’ll find them all here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/christmas Our past Christmas episodes range from 'Chris' Loss of Christmas Spirit' (2021), to feeling hopeful and joyful (2024) and everything in between, plus, there's bucket loads of tips for gently rebuilding hope if the season feels a bit heavy this year. Send us Fan Mail Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    58 min

  7. 12/02/2025

    Australia Update 2: Time flies. And more flies.

    #140. How's our big trip 'Down Under' going? This is where you find out. Again. Welcome to The Silent Why - usually a podcast with a mission to open-up honest conversations around grief and explore whether hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss. But right now, things are a little different! Take a listen to the previous episode to get a better idea what this one is going to be all about.  We (Chris & Claire, your hosts) are on an adventure halfway around the world, spending some time in Singapore and Australia. In this episode, we update you on our trip up the coast of Western Australia. This episode includes what's surprised, shocked and delighted us about the Aussie people, what wildlife we've seen (and held! 😉), what it's like to visit some of the most beautiful beaches in the world, and... flies!! Plus, you know we love to share the deep stuff too, so we also chat about how our expectations of this holiday have had to change, how being childless has affected us while away, and thoughts about the podcast in general and who it's really for. Check out our Facebook and Instagram to see the cool kangaroo video we chat about.  Send us Fan Mail Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    1h 24m

  8. 11/10/2025

    Australia Update 1: Distracted by kookaburras

    #139. How's our big trip going so far? This is where you find out. Welcome to The Silent Why - usually a podcast on a mission to open up honest conversations around grief and explore whether hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss - but right now, things are a little different! If you've heard the previous episode, you'll have a good idea what this one is going to be all about.  We (Chris & Claire, your hosts) are on an adventure halfway around the world, spending some time down under. In this episode, we update you on our trip so far via Singapore to Western Australia. And since recording (just a few hours ago), we've already remembered plenty of things we forgot to mention; like how warm the sea was in Singapore, the unexpectedly delicious ice cream sandwiches (thanks Mel!), the luge rides, the different Maltesers, and the glorious abundance of Earl Grey tea over here.  No doubt those stories, and many more, will make their way into a future episode.  So far we've seen and experienced some amazing things, but we've also had some disappointments, and you know us - we love to share it all with you, so tune in, and join us. Plus, for videos of the kookaburra and bobtail lizard we mention, find us on social media. Send us Fan Mail Support the show ----- thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com Thank you for listening.

    49 min
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About

Claire Sandys is on a mission to see if it's possible to find hope in 101 different types of loss and grief (often joined by husband Chris). New ad-free episodes every other Tuesday. With childless (not by choice) hosts, this podcast is packed with deep, honest experiences of grief and hope from inspiring guests. You also get: tips on how to navigate and prepare for loss, blogs, experts, exploring how loss is handled on TV, and plenty of Hermans. For more visit: www.thesilentwhy.com.

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