The Stupid Gap

Ryan Gray
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Build a life that you don't want to escape. This show will help you navigate the uncertainties that you're sure to face in your own process of building a life that you don't want to escape.

  1. 4d ago

    Breathwork Broke Him Open: Burnout, Focus, and Letting Go | Jack Lesser

    Breathwork pulled Jack Lesser out of burnout and into a life he barely recognized — and this conversation is the whole arc of how it happened. Jack walked away from a "golden handcuffs" corporate job, got dragged to the floor by his first breathwork session, and went to a 5-day retreat in Costa Rica that took the person he used to be apart and rebuilt him. We get into identity change and the fear-based decisions that kept him stuck, what a real breathwork experience actually feels like, why focus is the superpower of 2026, proof of work as a way to live, and the strange moment he realized the intention he'd written for himself was almost word-for-word this show's tagline. The Stupid Gap is a podcast about identity change — the space between who you are and who you need to become to build a life you don't want to escape. Did you know I'm a personal skills & mindset coach? If you want to know more check out my personal website below. 🌐 thatryangray.com 🔗 Get in touch with Jack: https://jacklesser.me/

    1h 42m

  2. Jun 16

    How to Build Real Agency in Your Life | Solo Episode

    How do you build real agency in your life? This is what Marcus Fein's story taught me about courage, fear, and starting over. This is a solo reflection on what stuck with me after sitting down with Marcus Fein — a man who spent 22 years in addiction and found the courage to start over. His story isn't the subject here (that's the full episode, linked below); it's the mirror that made me look hard at where I'm acting with courage and where I'm hiding from it. I get into why agency isn't something you're handed — it's something you build, one act of courage at a time. I unpack how courage is a skill rather than a trait, why awareness (journaling, meditation, self-inquiry) is what lets you catch your own growth and turn it into fuel, and the harder question underneath all of it: where am I living in alignment, and where am I still numbing, avoiding, and running from my own life. If you've ever wanted more agency over your life but didn't know where it actually starts, this one's for you. The Stupid Gap is a show about identity change — who we become, and how we change, in order to build a life we don't want to escape. ▶ Watch the full conversation with Marcus Fein: HERE 🔗 Work with me — book a vibe check: https://thatryangray.com 📲 Follow on socials: @ThatRyanGray If you or someone you know is struggling with substance use, the SAMHSA National Helpline is free, confidential, and available 24/7: 1-800-662-4357.

    10 min

  3. Jun 10

    Life After Sobriety: Relearning Everything at 40 | Marcus Fein

    Life after sobriety means relearning everything — what you like, how to connect, who you actually are. Marcus Fein got sober in his late 30s after 22 years of drinking and using, and discovered that quitting was only step one. In this conversation, he shares how childhood trauma he didn't remember until age 30 shaped two decades of addiction, what finally made him ask for help, and what rebuilding your identity after sobriety actually looks like day to day. Now an actor in Austin, Marcus explains how acting, meditation, and daily structure became his tools for starting over — and why, at 40, he feels like a kid seeing the world for the first time. The Stupid Gap is the space between who you are, and who you need to become, in order to build a life that you don't want to escape. New episodes weekly at thatryangray.com. Follow on all socials: @ThatRyanGray If you're struggling with substance use, the SAMHSA National Helpline is 1-800-662-4357 (free, confidential, 24/7).

    1h 38m

  4. Jun 5

    What a HYROX Pro Athlete Taught Me About Relationships, Pain, and Quitting Excuses

    I sat down with HYROX Pro Robin Perségol. This solo episode is me unpacking three things that hit hardest — about relationships, athletic standards, and what happens when you stop running from your pain. Robin is someone who performs at an elite level across multiple arenas — pro sports, business, and a strong committed relationship. The throughline isn't talent. It's the conscious choices he's made about who he surrounds himself with and how he deals with what's broken inside him. In this episode, I share what that conversation stirred up for me — personally, honestly, and without the polish. In This Episode: Why your choice of partner is the single most important decision you'll ever makeMy own path through avoiding commitment, exploring ENM/polyamory, and finding clarityWhat Robin's level of athletic discipline exposed about my own excusesTurning pain into fuel — Robin's story about his father, and mine about abuse and abandonmentThe cost of numbing yourself — and what happens when you stopWhy "one percent better" is the goal, and why grace matters when you fall short 🎧 Full Robin Perségol episode: https://youtu.be/wV8qxj-2CLw?si=Y4aOTSQCQwXcU_iB 🌐 Personal Skills & Lifestyle Coaching with Ryan: thatryangray.com 00:00 Why I'm Making This Episode 01:00 Robin's Relationship: The Real Cheat Code 03:00 The #1 Life Decision Most People Get Wrong 05:00 My History With Relationships (ENM, Polyamory, Fear of Marriage) 08:30 Learning to Move Slower in Love 11:00 What Robin's Athletic Level Did to My Excuses 14:00 Stop Letting Tiredness Win 16:00 Turn Your Pain Into Fuel 19:00 Robin's Vulnerability: Father's Neglect, Insecurity, Growth 22:00 My Own Story: Abuse, Abandonment, Numbing 26:00 Stepping Into the Light 29:00 Why I Started This Show 31:00 Subscribe & Links

    19 min

  5. Jun 2

    Pro HYROX Athlete Robin Perségol | You Are What You Think About — Rebuilding Identity and Purpose

    Robin Perségol thought he was one of the good ones. A failed marriage forced him to look in the mirror and shook him to his core. This conversation goes well beyond sport. Robin is a HYROX pro athlete with multiple Sub-60 finishes and a top-20 finish at the Pro World Championships. But that's not what this episode is about. We dig into what happens when the sport ends and your identity goes with it, what it looks like to use fitness as a crutch instead of a cure, and what it actually takes to become someone you respect. In This Episode: Losing your identity when rugby ended — and the years of drift that followedUsing CrossFit to numb instead of healThe divorce that forced him to look in the mirrorWhy your romantic relationship is the most important arenaGoing one layer deeper — understanding why you react the way you doWhere "I'm not enough" really comes fromHow to create space in high-emotion moments instead of reactingAdvice for anyone who feels completely lost right now Find Robin: 📸 Instagram: @RobinPersegol 🏢 RPG Design — Gym Design & Architectural Consulting 👉 https://www.rpgdesign.co/ Books Mentioned: 📖 Clarity and Connection — Yung Pueblo 📖 Before and Laughter — Jimmy Carr

    1h 33m

  6. May 26

    How a Pro Golfer Stopped Fearing Failure and Started Chasing It | JP Cleveland | The Stupid Gap

    JP Cleveland turned pro in 2023 and has been grinding the mini-tour circuit ever since — building his game one tournament at a time. But the most important work JP has done hasn't happened on the golf course. In this episode, JP opens up about the voice in his head that told him he wasn't enough — a narrative he traces back to age 12 — and the years it took to stop running from it. We go deep on depression, therapy, the burnout of chasing external validation, and what it actually looks like to rebuild yourself from the inside out. JP is also a passionate mental health advocate. His personal battle with depression led him to co-create Move For The Mind — a community movement in Austin that raised over $1,500 for the Sims Foundation. He's the kind of guest who makes you want to go do the work. If this conversation resonated with you, please subscribe and leave a review. It means more than you know. ───────────────────────────────────────── IN THIS EPISODE - The narrative JP built at age 12 that told him he had to perform to be loved - Burning out six months into professional golf with no one to celebrate with - Hitting rock bottom and finally deciding to change the voice in his head - How meditation built his muscle of self-awareness - Reframing nerves as excitement under competitive pressure - What manhood actually looks like to him - Creating emotional safety in relationships - His work with the Sims Foundation and the Move For The Mind event ───────────────────────────────────────── FIND JP Instagram: @PCLE6522 SUPPORT THE SIMS FOUNDATION Instagram: @simsfoundation BOOKS MENTIONED - Before and Laughter — Jimmy Carr - White Mirror — Tinkered Thinking - The Secret Language of the Body — Jennifer Mann & Inna Segel

    1h 22m

  7. May 18

    How Leaning Into Pain Can Change Your Life | Yash Chitneni

    Yash Chitneni grew up between two worlds — an Eastern household built on sacrifice and survival, and a Western culture that rewards individualism and risk. The tension between those two worlds shaped nearly every major decision of his life, and for a long time, it kept him stuck. In this episode of The Stupid Gap, Yash walks us through the full journey — from growing up in a top-10 ranked high school in Cupertino where the pressure to perform was relentless, to being forced into a computer science degree he hated, to showing up on day one of his corporate job at Fidelity already planning his exit at 30. He talks about picking up a camera, building a podcasting business from a gym in Austin, getting cheated on and choosing accountability over bitterness, and what it finally took to have an honest conversation with his family about the life he actually wanted to live. This one is packed — risk, identity, emotional intelligence, the sunk cost fallacy, mimetic theory, the FIRE movement, and one of the most honest takes on infidelity and personal responsibility we've had on the show. If you've ever felt the weight of other people's expectations pulling you away from who you actually are — this episode is for you. 📚 Book left for Yash: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck — Mark Manson 📚 Yash's recommendation: White Mirror — Tinkered Thinking (Twitter collective)

    1h 26m

  8. May 14 ·  Bonus

    What Fear Actually Sounds Like in Your Head

    Seth spent six years too scared to touch the thing he actually wanted. Here's what fear was really telling him — and why none of it was true. Full conversation with DJ Father Glass on the channel. I Offer Personal Skills & Mindset Coaching: https://thatryangray.com/ Connect with me on Socials: https://www.instagram.com/thatryangray/

    5 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

Build a life that you don't want to escape. This show will help you navigate the uncertainties that you're sure to face in your own process of building a life that you don't want to escape.

Information

  • Creator
    Ryan Gray
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    13
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Ryan Gray
  • Show Website
    The Stupid Gap