The Stupid Gap

Ryan Gray

Build a life that you don't want to escape. This show will help you navigate the uncertainties that you're sure to face in your own process of building a life that you don't want to escape.

  1. Jun 16

    How to Build Real Agency in Your Life | Solo Episode

    How do you build real agency in your life? This is what Marcus Fein's story taught me about courage, fear, and starting over. This is a solo reflection on what stuck with me after sitting down with Marcus Fein — a man who spent 22 years in addiction and found the courage to start over. His story isn't the subject here (that's the full episode, linked below); it's the mirror that made me look hard at where I'm acting with courage and where I'm hiding from it. I get into why agency isn't something you're handed — it's something you build, one act of courage at a time. I unpack how courage is a skill rather than a trait, why awareness (journaling, meditation, self-inquiry) is what lets you catch your own growth and turn it into fuel, and the harder question underneath all of it: where am I living in alignment, and where am I still numbing, avoiding, and running from my own life. If you've ever wanted more agency over your life but didn't know where it actually starts, this one's for you. The Stupid Gap is a show about identity change — who we become, and how we change, in order to build a life we don't want to escape. ▶ Watch the full conversation with Marcus Fein: HERE 🔗 Work with me — book a vibe check: https://thatryangray.com 📲 Follow on socials: @ThatRyanGray If you or someone you know is struggling with substance use, the SAMHSA National Helpline is free, confidential, and available 24/7: 1-800-662-4357.

    10 min
  2. Jun 5

    What a HYROX Pro Athlete Taught Me About Relationships, Pain, and Quitting Excuses

    I sat down with HYROX Pro Robin Perségol. This solo episode is me unpacking three things that hit hardest — about relationships, athletic standards, and what happens when you stop running from your pain. Robin is someone who performs at an elite level across multiple arenas — pro sports, business, and a strong committed relationship. The throughline isn't talent. It's the conscious choices he's made about who he surrounds himself with and how he deals with what's broken inside him. In this episode, I share what that conversation stirred up for me — personally, honestly, and without the polish. In This Episode: Why your choice of partner is the single most important decision you'll ever makeMy own path through avoiding commitment, exploring ENM/polyamory, and finding clarityWhat Robin's level of athletic discipline exposed about my own excusesTurning pain into fuel — Robin's story about his father, and mine about abuse and abandonmentThe cost of numbing yourself — and what happens when you stopWhy "one percent better" is the goal, and why grace matters when you fall short 🎧 Full Robin Perségol episode: https://youtu.be/wV8qxj-2CLw?si=Y4aOTSQCQwXcU_iB 🌐 Personal Skills & Lifestyle Coaching with Ryan: thatryangray.com 00:00 Why I'm Making This Episode 01:00 Robin's Relationship: The Real Cheat Code 03:00 The #1 Life Decision Most People Get Wrong 05:00 My History With Relationships (ENM, Polyamory, Fear of Marriage) 08:30 Learning to Move Slower in Love 11:00 What Robin's Athletic Level Did to My Excuses 14:00 Stop Letting Tiredness Win 16:00 Turn Your Pain Into Fuel 19:00 Robin's Vulnerability: Father's Neglect, Insecurity, Growth 22:00 My Own Story: Abuse, Abandonment, Numbing 26:00 Stepping Into the Light 29:00 Why I Started This Show 31:00 Subscribe & Links

    19 min
  3. May 26

    How a Pro Golfer Stopped Fearing Failure and Started Chasing It | JP Cleveland | The Stupid Gap

    JP Cleveland turned pro in 2023 and has been grinding the mini-tour circuit ever since — building his game one tournament at a time. But the most important work JP has done hasn't happened on the golf course. In this episode, JP opens up about the voice in his head that told him he wasn't enough — a narrative he traces back to age 12 — and the years it took to stop running from it. We go deep on depression, therapy, the burnout of chasing external validation, and what it actually looks like to rebuild yourself from the inside out. JP is also a passionate mental health advocate. His personal battle with depression led him to co-create Move For The Mind — a community movement in Austin that raised over $1,500 for the Sims Foundation. He's the kind of guest who makes you want to go do the work. If this conversation resonated with you, please subscribe and leave a review. It means more than you know. ───────────────────────────────────────── IN THIS EPISODE - The narrative JP built at age 12 that told him he had to perform to be loved - Burning out six months into professional golf with no one to celebrate with - Hitting rock bottom and finally deciding to change the voice in his head - How meditation built his muscle of self-awareness - Reframing nerves as excitement under competitive pressure - What manhood actually looks like to him - Creating emotional safety in relationships - His work with the Sims Foundation and the Move For The Mind event ───────────────────────────────────────── FIND JP Instagram: @PCLE6522 SUPPORT THE SIMS FOUNDATION Instagram: @simsfoundation BOOKS MENTIONED - Before and Laughter — Jimmy Carr - White Mirror — Tinkered Thinking - The Secret Language of the Body — Jennifer Mann & Inna Segel

    1h 22m

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

Build a life that you don't want to escape. This show will help you navigate the uncertainties that you're sure to face in your own process of building a life that you don't want to escape.