The Things Not Named

Joshua Doležal

Conversations about literary craft and the things not named that bring high quality to fiction, memoir, and poetry. Hosted by Joshua Doležal, creator of THE RECOVERING ACADEMIC. joshuadolezal.substack.com

  1. The Things Not Named — With Kimberly Warner

    MAR 31

    The Things Not Named — With Kimberly Warner

    “Some things can’t be healed. They just need to be held. Narrative medicine does a great job with this — sometimes the healing is in the holding.” Kimberly Warner, author of “Unfixed” Thank you to Mr. Troy Ford, Annette Laing, , Jill Swenson, and many others who tuned into my live interview with Kimberly Warner last week. Kimberly Warner Bio: Kimberly Warner is a filmmaker, author, and patient advocate whose work explores what it means to live fully in a body that doesn’t always cooperate. After studying pre-med and biology at Colorado College and pursuing graduate training in naturopathic and classical Chinese medicine, she left a clinical path for a creative one. In 2015, a rare neurological condition upended her sense of balance. That experience became the seed of Unfixed Media, a multimedia platform for chronic illness storytelling that has been recognized by PBS, Harvard Medical School, and the Invisible Disabilities Association. Her debut memoir, Unfixed, was serialized on Substack, picked up by Empress Editions, and earned a Publishers Weekly Editor’s Pick and a Kirkus review calling it “genre-defying.” Kimerly is a member of the Global Advocacy Alliance, the PPAA (Patient and Physician Advocacy Alliance,) and a visiting faculty member with Global Genes. She also serves on the editorial board of the Journal of Health Design and is an ambassador for the Vestibular Disorders Association). The full transcript of our conversation is available below. Transcript: Joshua Doležal: Welcome back to The Things Not Named. I’m Joshua Doležal, and my series this year is titled for a phrase from Willa Cather. Cather famously said that it’s the presence of the thing not named that gives high quality to fiction, drama, and poetry. So this year I’m asking that question of medicine: How might we all be more attentive to what goes unsaid in the clinic, in popular culture, and in the experience of illness from the patient’s side? My guest today is Kimberly Warner. Welcome, Kimberly! Kimberly Warner: So great to be here. I love that you are exploring the white space, the unnamed, and that you’re putting that into the realm of clinical care this year. That’s fascinating to me. Joshua Doležal: It seems appropriate for illness and especially for your story. So, lots of mouthfuls there in your bio. You’ve been really active, it seems, in medical communities as a patient advocate and also as a storyteller. Kimberly Warner: Yeah, it was not intended. I certainly didn’t set out to go that direction. Although I do remember even in high school when I told my parents I’m going to medical school. And my parents said — well, my father was a physician and they said, do you really want to work with patients all day? And what’s the reality of that? And I said, no, I want to be a high school health teacher. And they’re like, how are you going to pay off your school loans? And I’m like, I don’t know, I’ll figure that out. But it’s interesting to look, you know, 35 or 40 years later and see how education has become a really big part of the way that I work with healing. And a lot of that has come through my own personal struggles and personal insights through living with a body that doesn’t always feel great. Joshua Doležal: I mean, it’s great that you’re using storytelling as a form of advocacy because I think it’s underutilized. And we were talking before we went live about narrative medicine and how it began at Columbia University. But there’s a long tradition of doctors writing about medical practice and really giving voice to things that can’t be said in the examining room or in the operating room. And I first came to this in graduate school. I was learning about deconstruction theory and this idea that all reality is constructed by language. And I kept wondering, well, what about the body? You know, the body has a kind of grammar. The body has a way of making sense of things and finding balance. So it’s not all relative, as Derrida and others would say. So I got into medical history and wrote a dissertation on the medical humanities and taught for many years courses like illness and health and literature, where I would have loved to have featured your book. It’s nice to be sharing that with folks on Substack this year. But I want to get back to your memoir, which is the first in this year’s series of illness narratives. I’ve been mostly interviewing doctors who are either in the process of writing a memoir or have written memoirs. My conversation last week with Damon Tweedy centered on his second book about mental illness and integrating mental health care into general medicine. So you’re the first author of an illness narrative. And before we dive into that, could you just give us a brief synopsis of your book for anyone who hasn’t heard of Unfixed or doesn’t know anything about it? Kimberly Warner: Yeah, I’d be happy to. I’ve got the little dust jacket summary here, and I can read that to you. But I’ll preface it with — it’s not your classic illness narrative in the sense that it’s a weaving of two different types of narratives, though they are both about identity, because anybody that’s lived with chronic illness knows that that really can crush our identities. There is — it’s not — true in the sense that I have a stack of favorite illness narratives here, and a lot of them are just like, this was the diagnosis, and this is the journey with that, and this is the resolution. And mine is much more complicated, let’s say. But here’s the dust jacket summary for those that don’t know. Unfixed: A Memoir of Family Mystery and the Currents That Carry You Home, is a haunting exploration of identity, loss, and the unsteady ground of becoming. When a midlife DNA test reveals that the man who raised her isn’t her biological father, Kimberly Warner is drawn into two parallel mysteries — one excavating the silence surrounding her beloved father’s death, the other tracing the absence of a stranger whose blood shapes her very being. As she unravels the secrets hidden beneath her family’s story, another rupture emerges, this time in her body. A mysterious illness takes hold, leaving her adrift in dizziness and a growing awareness that her body knows truths language cannot hold. Joshua Doležal: Nice. And I’ve got my copy here, so I’ll put a link in the show notes for anyone who wants to order it. So you are braiding two stories. Why did you not tell them separately? Kimberly Warner: Because they were completely linked, to the point where I think that the DNA revelation when I turned 40 was very much a catalyst for the disassembly that was happening in my neurology at the same time. And I think many — anyone listening that knows about vestibular disorders, especially ones that are neurologically related instead of within the ears, can often be heightened or triggered by extreme states of panic. And I was definitely going through a protracted panic attack and a real disorientation to who I was and who I had known myself to be for 40 years. So while I don’t think it was a direct link, I think there are a lot of factors that were happening. It was definitely a piece that pulled the rug out from underneath me and quite literally created the sensation of living on water, which is what this Mal de Débarquement that I have — that is the actual symptom. The experience of it is living on water. So you can’t really disentangle the illness from your life circumstances and it’s all part of the same fabric. Absolutely. And I don’t know if that’s always the case. I’m not going to say that everyone gets an illness because something psychological shifts in their life story. But for me, it did play a huge role. And I think, unfortunately, because of that, I also wasn’t diagnosed for five, five and a half years. And a lot of that was because of the multifactorial events that were happening. Based on which doctor I saw to try to figure out why I was so dizzy, they were either looking at the psychological issues and doing trauma work and brain spotting and everything under the sun, or concussions on the other end of the spectrum. So it made it very difficult to diagnose what was going on. Joshua Doležal: All of the people I’ve interviewed so far are doctors, and in a doctor memoir, doctors write about patients. The patients don’t always have the chance to write back. Your book is coming from the other side of that. When you’re going through your diagnostic journey — years of dizziness with no explanation and so on — I’m wondering if you really struggled with other people’s stories being projected onto you. I know with neurological conditions, it kind of literally is in your head, right? And there’s a kind of condescending form that that takes. So did writing Unfixed feel like you were reclaiming the narrative for yourself instead of being a character in someone else’s story? Kimberly Warner: Yes. And I’ll say that when I started writing this, it was 2018. So this was still pre-diagnosis, but it was also right on this precipice of me being so tired of pursuing cures. So I was resting in this place of trying to, like you said, reclaim all of what had just happened to me — including the DNA discovery and the dizziness and all the subsequent things that happened because of that. The loss of job, the loss of friends, nearly the loss of my relationship. And I was trying to just piece it all back together for myself. This was not intended to be something to be read by the world. It was very much just, let’s get this down on paper as much as I possibly can so I can remember the details. So as you know, when you read this, there’s certainly trauma in this, but there was also so much magic and love that was happening throughout this. And that was a really important part that I didn’t want to forget. And so i

    50 min
  2. The Things Not Named — with Damon Tweedy

    MAR 24

    The Things Not Named — with Damon Tweedy

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit joshuadolezal.substack.com Thank you Kae, Lori, Michelle Ray, and many others for tuning into my live video with Damon Tweedy! Damon Tweedy Bio: Dr. Damon Tweedy, is a psychiatrist, author, and leading voice on race, medicine, and mental health. He’s a professor of psychiatry at Duke University School of Medicine and a staff psychiatrist with the Durham Veterans Affairs Health System, where he co-leads an integrated primary care mental health team. A graduate of Duke School of Medicine, he also earned a law degree from Yale Law School, focusing on health policy and medical ethics before returning to Duke to complete his psychiatric training. Dr. Tweedy is the bestselling author of Black Man in a White Coat, which takes a hard look at racism and American medicine. The book was a New York Times bestseller and was named a top nonfiction book of the year by Time Magazine. His latest book, Facing the Unseen, explores the struggle to center mental health within medicine and was recognized by Nature as one of the best science books of 2024. The full transcript is available below. Transcript: Joshua Dolezal: Welcome back to The Things Not Named. I’m Joshua Dolezal, and my series this year is based on one of Willa Cather’s famous passages. She said that it’s the presence of the thing not named that gives high quality to fiction, drama, and poetry. And so for my series this year on the medical humanities, I’m applying that principle to how we might all be more attentive to what goes unsaid in the clinic, in popular culture, and in the experience of illness from the patient’s side. My guest today is Dr. Damon Tweedy, psychiatrist, author, and leading voice on race, medicine, and mental health. He’s a professor of psychiatry at Duke University School of Medicine and a staff psychiatrist with the Durham Veterans Affairs Health System, where he co-leads an integrated primary care mental health team. A graduate of Duke School of Medicine, he also earned a law degree from Yale Law School, focusing on health policy and medical ethics before returning to Duke to complete his psychiatric training. Dr. Tweedy is the bestselling author of Black Man in a White Coat, which takes a hard look at racism and American medicine. The book was a New York Times bestseller and was named a top nonfiction book of the year by Time Magazine. His latest book, Facing the Unseen, explores the struggle to center mental health within medicine and was recognized by Nature as one of the best science books of 2024. So thanks for joining me, Dr. Tweedy. Damon Tweedy: Yeah, it’s a pleasure. Joshua Dolezal: So Damon, maybe we can start with your family origins. If I’m not mistaken, you and I are both first-gen college students. So it was kind of a long road that you took from where you were born and raised to Duke and then also to Yale. Damon Tweedy: Yeah, so, you know, growing up, it didn’t feel that way. But now, looking back — I’m 51, almost 52 — it does feel like, yeah, you know, it was quite a journey. So I grew up in a two-parent home, mom and dad, both of whom traced their families back to America’s origins, right? Back through segregation, even back to slavery — because I have an 1860 census my dad showed me of some of his relatives. And so they grew up from Southern Virginia, grew up during the time of segregation. My parents are still living, they’re elderly now, and literally, you know, the things that we read about in textbooks were their lived experience. The Civil Rights Movement came to them when they were in their early 20s. So their whole first 20 years were in that space. And so that undoubtedly impacted how they experienced the world, see the world. And so for me, I grew up — so my dad worked in a grocery store, a food store. Mom worked in a sort of government, kind of administrative secretarial type work. And I had an older brother and we were in a community that was all Black, literally 100% Black, a very working-class sort of Black community outside of Washington, D.C. Back in those days, busing was still around. And so we were bused to a neighboring district that was all white. And so those are probably my first earliest kind of signs of, okay, you’re different. And what do people make of you by being different? And so for me, that difference was that, you know, I was kind of really into math and numbers — I was sort of an odd kid in that way, really into that. So I excelled in math, but I was also one of the Black kids bused to a school that was all white. And there were a lot of perceptions among teachers there about the Black students not being capable or being somehow, you know, a problem — things that we sort of all hear about. And so for me, I was finding myself in a space where, at the same time, I was a top student. And so people didn’t know what to make of me — the teachers and sometimes my classmates — because there were all these perceptions about what it meant to be a Black person, you know, largely negative, right? And so I experienced that sort of duality at a very early age. When I got to high school, my middle school was a local Black neighborhood school, but then I tested into a magnet program in high school. Little did I know at the time how powerful a school it was in terms of some of the people who went there and what they achieved. But it was a magnet school that was pretty much all white and Asian within a school that was otherwise Black. And so I was in these magnet classes with white and Asian students, but the rest of the school was mostly Black. And there was always this sort of tension between — where do I fit in in these two worlds? And so that was sort of a common theme, and it played out in a lot of really kind of crazy ways. One story I can tell real quick that will encapsulate this. In high school, in 10th grade, I was in a chemistry class — literally the only Black student in a class of 30 students. And one day, our school was a school of excellence, and so they brought in several leading politicians to sort of talk about our tech program and how great it was. And so at that time — given my age — this was Governor Bill Clinton before he was president, and several people across both parties. And they sort of took them around our school to the tech programs. So here I am, the only Black student in that class. And before they get to our particular classroom, there’s suddenly four or five other Black kids in the class who are just sort of there, positioned. And then you see where I’m going with this? And then suddenly, as soon as these political people leave, those kids are just kind of told to leave. And so I’m back here as the only Black student in the class. And I’m looking around like, what the hell just happened? And no one had any reaction. It was like no one else seemed to get what had just taken place. And that sort of in some ways encapsulated my perspective of being different, you know, and having to navigate two worlds. So my first book sort of starts with me being a medical student, but that’s sort of the backdrop to that. And so when you get to medical school at a place like Duke, that’s just accentuated — that whole idea of two worlds. The world of the doctors, you know, mostly white and Asian. Then there’s the world of patients and the community that you’re around, which is largely Black. And how do you navigate those two worlds? And so that was sort of the tension that I experienced at a young age, but it just really was accelerated in a medical setting. Because for me, you know, part of what attracted me to medicine was the idea that it was objective, that it was concrete. It was data-driven. You know, it doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside. A bone is a bone. A blood vessel is a blood vessel. And so that’s part of what appealed to me. It’s like I could contribute to society, but in a very concrete way. And so it was really kind of a shock to the system to get into medicine and realize that it was sort of in some ways the same old thing in terms of those problems that I’d experienced as a young person. Joshua Dolezal: Yeah. One of the philosophers that I used in my dissertation was Helen Longino, whose iconic book is called Science as Social Knowledge, kind of questioning this idea that science is just objective because it always takes place in a context that is social, and that certain questions get privileged and certain research gets funded and all of that. We’re the same age. So I remember Clinton when I was in high school and all of that. Two questions came up as you were telling a little bit of that story. One — you said that you tested into this program. I know that recently there’s been some debate about whether standardized tests are actually exclusionary, whether they set arbitrary barriers for diversity in college. And I know during COVID, a lot of those standards were just taken away. And yet I’ve heard other writers talk about this — Thomas Chatterton Williams is another one who felt like standardized testing was the only way that he got noticed at all, that he would have been lost in the cracks if it hadn’t been for some kind of merit-based way of breaking through. So I’m curious what your thoughts are on that, whether standardized testing is actually a way of bringing more diverse voices into medicine or whether it’s been kind of exclusionary. Damon Tweedy: I think it’s a mixed picture. I think it depends on how you use it. I think that if it’s used — like, a number in and of itself — it has to be — it’s going to sound crazy to some people, but a number has to almost be contextualized. Like, if you take, let’s say, an SAT score — let’s just say 1,200, right? Now, 1,200, depending on what your background is leading up to that place, that could be a not-so-good score, that could be a

    21 min
  3. 10/14/2025

    The Things Not Named — With Sam Kahn

    Joshua Doležal: Welcome back to The Things Not Named. I’m Joshua Doležal. This year I’ve been asking writers how they know high-quality writing when they see it and how their own sensibilities have been forged. My guest today is Sam Kahn. Sam Kahn writes literary-minded essays, short stories, reviews, and political commentary at Castalia and is an editor at Persuasion. He is also Founder and Editor of The Republic of Letters. Sam has worked as a documentary producer at Netflix, Paramount+, and other studios. I should mention that when Sam and I spoke, he was in a café in southern Kyrgyzstan, where he is helping to establish a new college. So you’ll hear some of that background noise as we go, but I hope it adds a note of authenticity, which is one thing I’ve come to associate with Sam’s writing. I hope you enjoy our conversation. On Literacy, The Soul, And The New Intensity Joshua Doležal: It’s funny, Sam, you’re so prolific. And yet you’re kind of an enigma online. I tried to do a little bit of research on you, and it’s like you’re a spy or something. Sam Kahn: So the throughline is basically that I get paid for the stuff that I care the least about. There’s an almost perfectly inverse proportional relationship between the thing that I put time and effort and love into, and the things that get monetarily rewarded. If that makes sense, everything else kind of follows from there. So I’ve had one life, which is just basically trying to earn a living. And essentially I’ve been going through a career change the last few years. So for about 10 years I was working in documentaries first as an associate and then as a producer. There were some things I liked about it, but at the end of the day it wasn’t really for me. And then I was doing kind of a career transition to trying to figure out something to do with print media that could actually make money. And what ended up happening was that I worked for Persuasion, which is based on Substack. So I’m an editor there. It’s been really a nice job to have. And then in the middle of that, I moved out of nowhere to Kyrgyzstan to teach at a university, which somebody I knew offered me a job for. And actually right now I’m involved in setting up a college in Southern Kyrgyzstan, which is wild and is a very exciting thing to be doing. But my real life story is basically just trying to be a writer and trying to get better at it, to be a quality writer. And then secondarily trying to get things out there. And that’s mostly been long, endless frustration of just having lots of things in my laptop, no real outlet, a little bit of outlet for the stuff I care less about, which is journalism and criticism. But very little outlet for the stuff I care a great deal about, which is plays, which is fiction, both novels and short stories. Substack for me has just been a godsend. It’s been an unalloyed good in terms of taking all this material that was just sitting in the black hole of my laptop and sending it out into the gray hole of internet space. That’s really why I’ve been so evangelical about Substack and where you and I differ a little bit, is that for me it took this hole in my soul that I’d had for about 10 or 15 years, and then flipped that into a productive outlet. Joshua Doležal: It seems like the thing that you really care about is the thing that you get the least engagement on. So what you are known for by most people on Substack and in your freelance writing is this electric and really just shockingly creative take on history, on criticism. The way that you write a review, you’re not really a journalist, but the way that you write that kind of think piece is really unlike anyone else. And so that’s how you’ve made your name on Substack. Sam Kahn: I’ve been serializing something the last few months, which has much less engagement than hot takes on other stuff, and that’s just the way it is. I mean, that’s just a fact of the internet age and probably something about the human psyche in the 21st century. But thank you for what you’re saying about the criticism. I guess the philosophy on this is a few things. One is that I feel very strongly that writing is basically closer to speech and to thought than a lot of people tend to think. So if we’re talking about craft, I always have this idea in MFA land and these kinds of things, I tend to feel that everybody’s talking about creating a wicker chair, creating this immaculate product. And to me, that’s not really what it’s about. What it’s really about is just connecting to your thoughts and your instincts at a given moment in time. If you’re accessing that honestly, then it’s always interesting and it’s always valuable, and so I get frustrated with most social interaction. I don’t really like talking to people that much. Because there’s just so many layers and so many filters barring you from what anybody really wants to say. And in writing you just don’t have that problem. If you have the guts to say what you want to say, then to me that’s automatically interesting and true and of value. I partly train myself to do this through some complicated inner journey, but I think I also believe in this more than a lot of other people do. That it’s okay to just put a lot of stuff out there. You don’t need to have a brand. You don’t need to be that structured in it. If it’s true to you, it’s worth saying. And then it’s other people’s problem if they want to read it or not. So that’s my worldview. Joshua Doležal: I don’t mean this to be as glib as it might sound, but in some ways you’re kind of like Susan Sontag, right? Who had this vision of who she really was as a writer or wanted to be, and then became known for all these essays that she kind of wrote in her mind with her left hand, but that was her legacy, Illness As Metaphor. I don’t know of any of her novels that I’ve read that I think of as more influential than that. Sam Kahn: I think if I kind of strip down to who I am, I have a pretty analytical cast of mind. I’m not a super creative person. Sometimes you’ll meet these people and they become writers or artists, and you ask them what their lives were like as children, and they had these imaginary friends in complicated worlds. My inner life as a child was baseball lists, I mean, over and over again. But I really loved reading. I loved writing. I knew I wanted to be a writer, and I kind of knew from fairly early on what I was lacking in, which was really imagination and a certain degree of social nuance, social understanding. And I feel like I went through a whole journey to basically develop that in myself. And so I think being able to write plays opened up for me when I was in my mid or late twenties. Being able to write a short story opened up when I was towards my mid-thirties, and I think novels really opened up for me a few years ago. I mean, there’s still this thing that drives me crazy, which is that this novel that I’m very fond of, that I’m posting, if I post a chapter of it, it’ll get about seven likes. If I post something on the Israeli conflict or something about Trump, which fundamentally I know nothing about, I’ve never met Trump, I know it’s going to get about 70 likes, something like that. And it’s just the way it is. It’s not really something I can fight. I mean, there are these limitations to Substack about it being maybe at its heart a social media. But to me it’s close to being a miracle because everything in the culture was going towards shorter and shorter form b******t for a long time. And I mean, that’s just what it seemed like with Facebook and Twitter. And the fact that people’s attention spans are getting longer again is amazing. And then that creates the possibility for something else to happen for a renaissance and people really appreciating fiction and really appreciating deep stuff. And that’s what I’m here for. I want a flourishing literary culture where people have pride in their inner lives and in essentially their souls and in the stuff that matters. Joshua Doležal: This is always happens when I read your work and then when we talk, I feel like we’re kindred spirits. But then I hear these, for me, irreconcilable tensions in some of what you’re saying. So all of my life, when I became a serious writer, the writing itself took place out of sight. And the only way that you had engagement was when you worked through this laborious process of revision and you had this longform piece or poem that you’d really crafted as carefully and beautifully as you could. And then you shared it and then you would amass a body of work and then publish a book and you didn’t really show much mess behind the scenes. I don’t write longform as much as I used to because I think there’s something fundamentally antithetical to the real-time engagement and the work that it takes to produce longform writing. Longform writing happens over sustained solitude. It’s not something that is improved by commentary. The soul of my creative life that I followed for 20 years with the literary journal scene...it’s not gone, but it’s antithetical to everything you’re saying about Substack, the hot take, the shorter post. All those things are what get engagement and you sink more time into the longform work, you sink more of your soul into it, and that’s not what moves the needle. To me Substack is really the opponent of that kind of creative work. Sam Kahn: This might be close to I think where the pivot of our usual disagreement is. I’ve had a turn in the last few years where I’ve really become kind of a McLuhanite in terms of really believing that the technology shapes the communication and that that’s kind of the way it is. And that basically in the collective memory of all of us, everything has been done a certain way for a couple of hundred years. We have this ver

    35 min
  4. 09/09/2025

    The Things Not Named — With River Selby

    Most of my content in 2025 is free, but I appreciate the support of readers who make my interviews possible. Upgrading your subscription unlocks my monthly essays from a memoir-in-progress, as well as the entire archive. I’m also proud to be a Give Back Stack. 5% of my earnings in Q3 will go to the State College Food Bank. See my accountability page, with receipts for Q1 and Q2, here. The Things Not Named — With River Selby Joshua Doležal: Welcome back to The Things Not Named. I’m Joshua Doležal. This year I’ve been asking writers how they know high-quality writing when they see it and how their own sensibilities have been forged. My guest today is River Selby (they/them). River is the author of Hotshot: A Life on Fire, their first book. River worked as a wildland firefighter for seven years, stationed out of California, Oregon, Colorado, and Alaska. They are currently a Kingsbury and Legacy Fellow at Florida State University, where they are pursuing their PhD in Nonfiction with an emphasis in postcolonial histories, North American colonization, and postmodern literature and culture. River has spent nearly a decade researching the history of fire suppression in the United States, Indigenous fire and land-tending practices, climate change impacts, and ecological adaptations across North American landscapes. River holds an MFA in fiction from Syracuse University and a BA in English and Textual Studies from the same institution, where they served as a Remembrance Scholar. Visit their website at www.riverselby.com and find them on Instagram @riverselby. As you might know, I was a wildland firefighter for many years, so I was delighted to see this new release. I hope you enjoy our conversation. Joshua Doležal: It sounds like you grew up reading a lot and you describe in your book about firefighting a kind of journaling habit that you were chronicling your life as it was happening more or less. But it doesn't sound like you started writing seriously until near the end of your firefighting career. So when you look back to some of those early influences, before you even started consciously trying to write what were you reading? Or what were some of those early guideposts for craft, when you responded to literature powerfully and you knew that what you're reading was high quality? River Selby: I had an unusual upbringing. I was born into Scientology. My mom left when I was two and she was very into new age things, and she read a lot. She had dropped out of high school. But she was very smart and her bookshelf was filled with new age books of the eighties persuasion and also a lot of true crime. And then some Pearl S. Buck and Rachel Carson and Aldo Leopold, who she got from my grandmother, who I also lived with for a while when I was younger. My grandmother had left her wealthy family in Texas to marry my grandpa, who was a Marine. In World War II she was a nurse and they met during the war. And my grandma's bookshelf was also filled with true crime and all kinds of pulp, fiction and nonfiction, but also all of the Shakespeare and Emily Dickinson. She loved poetry, loved renaissance poetry. Read to me a lot, encouraged me to read beyond my grade. I talked really early. I read really early. I was very verbal when I was a child. And too verbal according to many of my teachers. And we also moved a lot. And so reading was my way of connecting with the world because I didn't connect with my peers very well. I was also autistic and didn't get diagnosed until a few years ago. And so I kind of read all of the stuff they give to kids like Laura Ingalls Wilder. But I also would go to the library and go to the bookstore. I started out reading beyond my age with Stephen King, Dean Koontz, stuff like that because I really loved the genre of fiction and horror. And then started reading more nature writing. When I was a teenager, I read Mary Karr’s, The Liars’ Club and really became a fan of memoir because it was a way that I could imagine myself out of my life in a way, because memoirs are almost always writing from a place in the future narratively. Joshua Doležal: When you started to think about writing your own memoir, I was curious about who some of your influences were, but it sounds like you discovered the literary memoir pretty early. So there was kind of a period there where it was very much a scene that was emerging as you were a teenager. What spoke to you about Mary Carr's book and how she made literature out of her life? River Selby: It's interesting for me to reflect back on my reading life when I was a teenager because I ran away for the first time when I was 12 and was homeless on and off throughout my teens. Sometimes I was encountering books and sometimes I just wasn't because I wasn't living in a home. And I think that when I was encountering books, they were almost like, I almost just picture someone climbing up a cliff and they were the handholds for me. And Mary Karr’s The Liars’ Club. Yeah, my childhood was really unstable and my mom had mental health issues and was an alcoholic and she had this kind of cycle of boyfriends coming through who also were not very stable and then married an alcoholic when I was 13. And so her book felt like being seen because so much of what I had read felt very constructed and far away from me, whether it was fiction or nonfiction. But because of her voice in that book she really inhabits her younger self. And I think that because that voice was so strong and there wasn't really a narrator that was placed outside of the time of the book, that made me feel like I had a companion almost in my own experiences, so it was really special to me. And I don't think at that time I was thinking, I want to be a writer. That thought was so far away, but I do think that subconsciously it was planting a seed of, oh, well this person lived this life and now she has this book and she's a writer, and so maybe that's a path that I could take. Joshua Doležal: For a lot of years, I'd associated memoir with autobiography. Ben Franklin's autobiography is very chronological. There's not a lot of layering that happens with it…sort of this happened and that happened. But literary memoir, as I understand it has more fictional elements to it. And also some layering of what we call the voice of innocence and the voice of experience. The younger self immersed in moments that that self can't see or understand, blinded by impulse or just naivete and the voice of experience that can make meaning of it or see a bigger picture—read against the grain of some of what the younger self saw. So I liked the texture of that and it really fit my own life story because I'd grown up in an evangelical home and I'd left that faith tradition. So there was a lot of before and after distance for me to use. And I think that's true for you as well, because in your memoir, Hotshot, you use she because your name was Anna then. And so you've since rediscovered or evolved in your identity. The voice of experience is quite different, in a very literal sense, from the voice of innocence in that book. Is that fair to say? River Selby: I needed to have a certain level of authority narratively embedded into the prose. That was a huge process personally, psychologically, because so much of memoir for me, and I think for some others as well, in that reflection for me, I had to go back and re-experience those things and essentially not re-traumatize myself, but I had to be in that space and it was not a comfortable space. I would write from that space, and my authority wouldn't be there yet because it was so still in the past. And so part of the revision process was having to work through so many things personally and kind of parse through things so that I could write about my past self in a way that was not judgmental, that was not scared. That was where I could really bring myself forward in all of my flaws, while also bringing forward a lot of the cultural issues I was trying to engage with. And also pulling out things. As far as my non-binary identity, I look back at myself then and I see myself trying to inhabit an identity that didn't fit me. Joshua Doležal: So last week I pulled out one tool from your book because I really admired how you'd used it. And it was signposting, which I really first understood in radio form, where you would get a teaser clip and then it's almost flipped from academic writing. In academic writing, you always identify the speaker ahead of time. I spent a lot of time working with students on signal phrases and seamless integration of quotations and things like that. And in radio it's completely the opposite. You want to let an audio artifact build suspense or intrigue and then identify it almost immediately after. So it’s an intuitive thing where you anticipate a point of need for the listener, and then address it at that point of need. In your book, I thought it was especially evident because firefighting is such a subculture with its own arcane language. And that's a real barrier for readers coming into firefighting, not knowing what a trunkline is or what a Mark 3 pump is, those kinds of things. You could have done it very tediously. But instead you just told the story in an immersive way. You set the scene and then would name the thing. Piss pump, for instance, was one of the examples I used. And in the very next sentence, you would then describe either the tool or you would just show how it was used or you would address what surely was confusion for the uninitiated reader. And I don't know how conscious you were of that, if that came through the editing process as you're working with your commercial publisher or if that was something that you learned along the way in your coursework. River Selby: So thank you. I really appreciate that because like I said, I teach writing, but usually when I teach it, we are looking at something and taking it apart. And it's also an intuitive

    30 min
  5. 08/19/2025

    The Things Not Named — With Eleanor Anstruther

    Most of my content in 2025 is free, but I appreciate the support of readers who make my interviews possible. Upgrading your subscription unlocks my monthly essays from a memoir-in-progress, as well as the entire archive. I’m also proud to be a Give Back Stack. 5% of my earnings in Q3 will go to the State College Food Bank. See my accountability page, with receipts for Q1 and Q2, here. The Things Not Named — With Eleanor Anstruther Joshua Doležal: Welcome back to The Things Not Named. I’m Joshua Doležal. This year I’ve been asking writers how they know high-quality writing when they see it and how their own sensibilities have been forged. My guest today is Eleanor Anstruther. Eleanor was born in London, educated at Westminster School but distracted from finishing her degree at Manchester University by a trip to India. She travelled for the next decade before settling down enough to write her debut novel, A Perfect Explanation (Salt Books) which was listed for The Desmond Elliott Prize and Not The Booker Prize. Since then she has built a career teaching and publishing as an independent artist, using her Substack, The Literary Obsessive, as a platform for serialising her work before taking it to print. These works include her acclaimed memoir, A Memoir in 65 Postcards & The Recovery Diaries (Troubador), and her second novel, In Judgement of Others (Troubador). Her latest novel, Fallout (recently acquired by Empress Editions) is due for publication April 2026. I hope you enjoy our conversation. Joshua Doležal: We were early Substack pioneers. I don't know that we were on the cutting edge, but we've been doing this for quite some time. Three years, I guess. How long have you been Substacking? Eleanor Anstruther: I think I joined in 22. And that feels to me like an early adopter. I mean, obviously it was founded in 2017, but I'm not sure how many fiction writers were there before 22. And I felt like quite a lot, quite a lot of the cohort who have become friends, like you and Kim and a whole bunch of people, we all joined around 22, 23, so there was definitely a moment there. I'm really glad I landed then because, I don’t know if you've noticed, but in the last year, there's been an explosion, which has changed the nature of Substack, which is fine with me. I'm all about change and evolution, so that's fine. But it definitely isn't what it was in 22 as an experience. Joshua Doležal: Yeah, totally agree, it's hard to even remember writing life before Substack because it's become such a staple for me over the last four years, but all of us who had a writing life before have brought that sensibility to our platform even as we're evolving. So I'm curious h ow you were shaped as a writer in your early days, when you knew you would become a writer, some of your early influences and how you began studying the craft. Eleanor Anstruther: Sure. Well, I come from a family of writers, so I think that was one of the blessings and privilege of becoming a writer and forming the craft, that I was already swimming in that sea, and it didn't seem a complicated or even impossible leap to make. I think it was more about realizing the thing I've always done, which was write, was something I could do as a career. And I didn't realize that until the idea of my debut was handed to me by various events. My debut is a fictionalized account of how and why my dad was sold by his mother to his aunt. Which was obviously an absolutely golden piece of storytelling to be handed, but also a difficult one to cut your teeth on. So I think I was about 34 when I embarked on that novel. It took me twelve years probably to write, fifteen in all from start to finish, from first word to on the bookshelf. I was mentored by the late Sally Klein at Cambridge which was amazing. I met her on a plane. It was one of those, again, completely serendipitous moments. We sat next to each other on a flight to Colorado, and by the end of it, she'd offered to be my mentor. So I learned the craft then. It was a difficult book to write because it was obviously based on a true story. So I had all the facts, but I was stringing emotional content between the facts, which was complicated. And also I think you and I perhaps have also talked about the complications because it wasn't memoir, but there were still living people whose lives would be affected by it. And it was just one version of a story. But of course, my version has become the version. So that came with a lot of complications. I got a book deal off that, and I was completely like every single emerging writer. I just assumed I'd write a book, it would get a deal, and I'd be famous and I'd win the Booker, and that would be the end of it. And there'd be no more effort to go into it. Which wasn't exactly what happened. It took twelve years to write it. It took almost a year, eighteen months, to get a deal. The last publisher that we submitted to said yes. Very small advance. Salt, brilliant indie publisher. And it did do well. It got listed for a couple of prizes and it did fine. But then after that I assumed, great, I'm done. But my next three novels did not find a deal. It was a one-contract deal and the next three novels were turned down by everyone we sent them to. Which was how I came to Substack because I just was at my end. I was on my knees. Joshua Doležal: Well, and you've found your way back after self-publishing a bit. I understand that you have a deal with Empress. Eleanor Anstruther: I've done two since then. I serialized my memoir and two novels on Substack: In Judgment of Others was the first novel I serialized there and then published that myself, which was amazing experience. And actually I've built a career on teaching and publishing as an independent author. And that could never have happened if I hadn't gone through the mill of having been declined by so many publishers. So now I look back and think, great, I've built this arm of my career where I know about publishing as an independent. But Fallout, which was the second novel I serialized on Substack, I really did want to, again, be handheld by a publisher. Because it's a very different experience and there's pluses and minuses to both. But Empress Editions publishes midlife women's voices. And I'm the first of their literary wing. Mostly it's been nonfiction and romance, but I'm the first, so that's absolutely amazing. It's coming out 26th of April next year. Couldn't be more happy. They're an American publisher based in Cambridge, but it will be global. Joshua Doležal: Well, congratulations. Eleanor Anstruther: Yeah. I'm really excited. Joshua Doležal: Going back to Sally Klein and your mentorship with her. So what were some of the particulars? Not to put you under the microscope too much, but in terms of craft were there particular techniques you learned from her or a discerning sensibility when you were learning from Sally what good writing meant and how it was distinguished from mediocre writing? What were some of those things you learned? Eleanor Anstruther: Well, Sally, as everyone knew, was incredibly strict. She was the very first person to tell me to murder my darlings. I'd never even heard the phrase before. And she insisted. I took my manuscript to her every month as I grew pregnant with twins. I would get on the train every month getting bigger, fatter, and fatter with twins, and take her my manuscript and sit in her office in Cambridge. And she would strike through what wasn't good enough. And I remember one time I'd been reading a lot of Virginia Woolf, and I remember saying something about how basically I'd aped Virginia Woolf and it was probably some sort of stream of consciousness throwing all the rules away, et cetera, et cetera. And she banged the table and said, but you are not Virginia Woolf. And I remember that being like. Okay. What she means is I have, not only will I never be Virginia Woolf, but I have to go away and learn the rules. And the rules as I understand them are…and I suppose this is how I lean towards my own writing. I favor brevity. So where one word will do instead of ten , I'll use one. So I'm very straight to the point. I read my work out loud, absolutely every word of it. A finished novel, I will have probably read out loud to myself at least twice, if not three times. And when I hear it out loud, if I get bored listening to it, I know it's dull. If I feel that it's pretentious or I'm falling over the sentences, I know I've complicated things. If I'm showing off, if my mind drifts. I think one of the things I learnt, which was incredibly useful, whether it was from her or it was just from practice in plotting. If you have a brilliant idea in a plot, don't save it up as some magnificent reveal somewhere near the end. Because if it struck me at the beginning, if I try and fool the reader and reveal, you can bet your life—every discerning reader will have figured it out right at the beginning. And what you're not doing is having faith that the novel will reveal something even more brilliant if you just give that reveal at the beginning. So I learned to not think I was cleverer than my reader. You're never cleverer than your reader. So always give it away at the beginning of the first draft, obviously, because something else brilliant or more brilliant hopefully will turn up. I made a note of the writers that have really influenced me before we spoke and all of them, they're very plain speaking. They're mid-20th century female writers. There's no artifice. I think because they're women and because there was no sense of their ego being pumped culturally. Do you know what I mean? They were just women who were bringing up children. They were living in the kitchen, and if they were lucky, they were finding five minutes to write and they didn't have time to be pompous to show off. They just had to get the story down. And they didn't think about anybody thinking they were great. And I think you

    38 min
  6. 06/17/2025

    The Things Not Named — With Mark Slouka

    Most of my content in 2025 is free, but I appreciate the support of readers who make my interviews possible. Upgrading your subscription unlocks my monthly essays from a memoir-in-progress, as well as the entire archive. I’m also proud to be a Give Back Stack. 5% of my earnings in Q2 will go to Centre Volunteers in Medicine, a free clinic for those with no health insurance and annual income under $38K (individual) or $78K (family of four). The Things Not Named — With Mark Slouka Mark Slouka: These were people whose lives were over. These were people who were going to be tortured and killed, and the last thing they thought to do was to write something in those days and weeks they were waiting. To me, there's something fundamentally human about wanting to express and express something well. And that need isn't going to just die overnight. Joshua Doležal: That’s Mark Slouka, author of the Substack Thought Salad. He’s my guest today for The Recovering Academic Podcast. I’m Joshua Doležal. My interview series this year is called “The Things Not Named.” It takes its title from a passage in Willa Cather’s essay “The Novel Démueblé,” one of her craft manifestos. I’ve been asking writers how they know high-quality writing when they see it and how their own sensibilities have been forged. Today you’ll hear from one of the finest stylists I know. Mark Slouka’s books have been translated into sixteen languages and his stories and essays have repeatedly appeared in Best American Short Stories, PEN/O.Henry Prize Stories and Best American Essays. A past contributing editor to Harper's Magazine, his work has appeared in Ploughshares, The Paris Review, Agni, The New Yorker, and Granta. His forthcoming novel, For What It’s Worth, is a sequel to the award-winning Brewster. Mark currently divides his time between Prague and a small cabin in upstate New York. I hope you enjoy our conversation. Joshua Doležal: My series this year is mainly about craft, and I suppose I have a kind of defiant mindset about it because I invested about 20 years in honing my craft, and you've invested much longer than that. And my feeling has been that it's almost become kind of irrelevant as a market principle and that the institutions surrounding teaching of craft, the communities in which craft is discussed are falling apart. And so for me, craft is one of the only reasons to write. It's the high standard that we're all striving toward, to get better as apprentices to the art. And so to feel that it's becoming irrelevant has been hard for me. So I don't know if I'm just grieving that by talking to other people looking for commiseration or if there is in fact a future or writing that includes craft as a cornerstone. Mark Slouka: You’ve kind of started off with the with the big question. I'm trying really hard not to be pessimistic because, you know the pendulum tends to swing and it may swing back somehow. But I would say that first of all, I think craft has almost disappeared from the publishing industry as we as we know it today. It's almost unrecognizable from the industry that I knew only 30 years ago when I started publishing. I'm sure there are plenty of editors who would argue that passionately and say that they care deeply. The truth is that all the editors I've known are moving so fast. They're on such a treadmill that I can't recall getting a craft-based edit in decades. That's not what you get. You get sort of product placement advice. You get advice on how to streamline something, how to make it more reader friendly how to move product more effectively, ideally. But I think there's a larger issue, which is that up until say 20, 25 years ago, the universities were still teaching literature in the sense that basically there were generations of students being trained to admire, respect craft. And at some point the writing itself was subordinated to ideology, to politics, right? Certainly true in theory. There was a time when you could publish a literary criticism type piece and let's say the New York Review of Books, and it would be discussed broadly, you know, among people who read the New York Review of Books. But still, you know, it would be, oh, hey, did you read the latest da da da? Well, them days are gone. So in the university, the first step was that craft, as I said, was subordinated to ideology, to politics, to whatever particular political axe you had to grind, which meant that over time that the craft element of it, the fact that Faulkner could write a certain kind of sentence that somebody else couldn't, and you'd want to study how that was done, kind of fell by the wayside. And at the same time that was happening, students were morphing into customers, which is another kind of – all of these things kind of converged together to create a new climate, a new atmosphere in which, frankly, I feel more and more adrift, as do a lot of authors I happen to know, including yourself, maybe. Not just people my age, but younger as well, who are saying, well, we went into this for this reason. It's not, of course…a book can be entertaining, but literature also used to aim for something like wisdom as well to say something about justice or truth as we perceive it, and so on. As the industry is being squeezed financially, as the smaller fish gets continually eaten by the bigger fish, that kind of work is no longer wanted, we need to try to thread the needle and get that big hit. Hopefully film rights are attached. Bing, bing, bing. And you're off to the races. If you don't do that, good luck. Joshua Doležal: Part of our purpose then is to think about what a future looks like for people who are not on that track, who don't want that particular lane, or whose values don't align with the values of the gatekeepers right now. But I'd like to go back a little bit to origins. So when you think of when your apprenticeship to craft began, when was that? Mark Slouka: I grew up in a family where reading was a big deal, where reading mattered, where books mattered, where there was a kind of an inherent respect for the writer. It was a very old school attitude in some ways. And frankly, a kind of a, not just Old World, but New World too. Up until recently. Yeah, my dad was a professor. My mom was a librarian. It's like, man, books were a big deal. As a kid, obviously, it was all about the story, you know, it's like I was just immersed in stories. I couldn't tell you a good sentence from a hole in the ground. But then at some point, you know, my mom was always talking to me about, you know, this or that Somerset Maugham story and like the motivations of the people involved. That was nine years old, you know? And she's asking, well, why do you think he would say that when that's contrary to his best interest? Like, why would you, if you were in his shoes, what would you do? You know, da da. And so we'd have these great conversations and because Mom was taking me seriously during those conversations. It was kind of heady stuff. My real awakening to craft came at university. I mean, there was some inklings of it in high school, but really it was, it was at Columbia and I was blessed with having two or three, which is about all you can ever hope for, one in particular, just extraordinary teacher. And I vividly remember…you asked the origin, okay, so here's my origin thing. I remember I was flying to Fresno, California, from New York to take a job working on this crew, this trail crew in the High Sierras. I was 19 years old and I had brought Camus’ The Stranger with me because I'd heard somebody had said, you know, some professor, some other student, because books were a big deal. They’d said, oh man, this is really good. You gotta read this. So I took it with me and the plane was delayed for four hours. So I'm sitting in Kennedy, I read straight through, I read straight through the flight, we're landing in L.A., and my life was changed. It's like, I don't know what he's doing, but I'm fascinated. I didn't fully understand what Camus was accomplishing, but this world of ideas just opened up to me. And then, you know, then it was like step follows step. Back then going down this path wasn't quite as fraught as it is now. Joshua Doležal: I remember your story about when you completed your PhD. I think your mother-in-law wondered if you were going to open a what, a philosophy store or something. So I mean, that's been…I was advised rigorously against the English major and then also against the PhD, which even in the year 2000 seemed like a real fool's errand. And of course, all of that has gotten steadily worse. But it's never been what anyone would see as a responsible adult kind of choice. Mark Slouka: Especially in America. I mean, you and I both know that two and a half century-long tradition of anti-intellectualism in America. I mean, there's books written about it, right? The Hofstadter book is called that: Anti-Intellectualism in America. So yeah, we we’re all, we've all been immersed in that, you know, those who can do, those who can't teach, all those old saws. Like, I'm talking to you from Prague. You don't get that here. That's not, that doesn't exist here. That's not to say it doesn't, that there aren't elements of it, but in general, there's still a kind of a vestigial respect for the life of the mind. Joshua Doležal: Well, so as we're going back to this, Camus had this effect on you, and you were responding to something that even then you recognized as good writing, even if you didn't have language for it. So I'm assuming that your apprenticeship, which must have begun shortly after that, steadily gave you language for what good writing was and that it's not so difficult for you to explain what that is now when you see it. So when you're reading a work or an author that you admire and it hits that same note, what are some of the things that you're responding to that you would be able to identify

    47 min

About

Conversations about literary craft and the things not named that bring high quality to fiction, memoir, and poetry. Hosted by Joshua Doležal, creator of THE RECOVERING ACADEMIC. joshuadolezal.substack.com