The Uncovered Self

Ben Getley

A space to explore the parts of you that shape your patterns, your money habits, and the way you move through the world — and to uncover the emotional truths beneath who you think you are. Hosted by Ben, this podcast brings together practical psychology, real‑life reflection, and gentle inner work to help you understand yourself on a deeper level. Each episode offers grounded insights, simple questions, and small practices you can use right away — so you can slowly uncover the self beneath the layers you’ve built for protection. This is inner work for everyday life — including your relationship with money.

Episodes

  1. MAR 5

    Unlocking Your Life with Experiential Values: A Deep Dive

    This episode explores how understanding your experiential values can change the way you live, choose, and relate. Instead of treating values as abstract ideas, Ben breaks down how they’re actually felt in your day-to-day life — and why your unconscious values often shape your behaviour long before your conscious mind catches up. Drawing from recent workshop conversations, Ben unpacks the difference between meta-values and experiential values, how unmet needs drive patterns like people-pleasing or avoidance, and what it looks like to build a life that’s aligned with what you truly care about. Key Topics The difference between meta-values and experiential valuesHow values shape behaviour, relationships, and emotional patternsWhy unconscious values lead your actions more than conscious onesPractical tools for identifying and aligning with your real valuesInsights from Ben’s recent values workshop Takeaways Meta-values are the big themes you prioritise — things like freedom, connection, growth, or stability.Experiential values are how you feel those themes in your everyday life.When you understand both, you stop forcing yourself into someone else’s version of a “good life.”Most behaviours aren’t random — they’re attempts to meet unmet values.Your unconscious values lead until you bring them into awareness.Sound Bites “Most people think it’s a motivation problem.”“Every behaviour is trying to meet a value.”“Your unconscious always leads, not your conscious.”Resources Values Alignment Starter Kit – https://www.bengetleycoaching.com/copy-of-meta-personallanding-page-1Website – https://www.bengetleycoaching.com/https://www.instagram.com/bengetleycoaching/?hl=enhttps://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100083316580388 Hosted by coach Ben Getley, this podcast dives into self-esteem, identity, emotional healing, and personal growth. Through grounded reflections and practical tools, Ben helps listeners understand their inner world and reconnect with their authentic selves. Learn more Website: https://www.bengetleycoaching.com Coaching: https://www.bengetleycoaching.com

    16 min
  2. FEB 3

    Meta Values The Architecture of Change

    Summary Free Values Calibration Kit https://www.bengetleycoaching.com/copy-of-meta-personallanding-page-1 In this episode, Ben Getley delves into the concept of values, emphasizing their active role in shaping our daily experiences rather than being mere abstract ideas. He introduces the notion of meta-values, which serve as the foundational building blocks of our thoughts, emotions, and decisions. Ben highlights how many individuals are often unaware of the unconscious influence their values have on their lives, leading to feelings of being lost or unfulfilled. He encourages listeners to reflect on their behaviors to uncover their true values, which can guide them towards a more authentic and fulfilling life. The discussion also touches on the importance of reconnecting with one's values, especially during times of confusion or stagnation. Ben reassures listeners that feeling stuck is common and emphasises that clarity can be achieved by realigning with personal values. He sets the stage for a three-part series, where future episodes will explore how values shape identity and how to integrate them into daily life, ultimately empowering individuals to take charge of their own paths. Keywords values, meta-values, personal growth, self-discovery, emotional clarity, decision making, authenticity, coaching, life direction, self-awareness Takeaways Your values aren't abstract ideas; they're forces shaping your daily experience. When your values aren't being met, everything feels heavier. Values work reconnects you to your authentic self. Titles Unlocking Your True Values: A Journey to Authenticity The Power of Values: Reclaiming Your Life's Direction Sound bites "Your values aren't abstract ideas." "You just lost sight of your values." "Once you live your life in your own values, you're in charge." Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Meta Values 00:37 Understanding the Feeling of Being Stuck 01:18 Overview of the Workshop Series 01:44 Understanding Meta-Values 04:53 The Dynamic Nature of Values 05:39 Understanding Your Values and Their Impact 06:07 Reflecting on Personal Values 06:16 The Importance of Values Work 08:40 How Values Operate Beneath the Surface 11:12 Reflecting on Emotional Responses and Values Hosted by coach Ben Getley, this podcast dives into self-esteem, identity, emotional healing, and personal growth. Through grounded reflections and practical tools, Ben helps listeners understand their inner world and reconnect with their authentic selves. Learn more Website: https://www.bengetleycoaching.com Coaching: https://www.bengetleycoaching.com

    12 min
  3. JAN 30

    The Masks We Wear: Returning to Who You Really Are

    Summary In this episode, Ben Getley shares insights from a recent workshop focused on self-esteem, identity, and the emotional masks we wear. He introduces the concept of the 'tribal cycle,' which refers to the emotional ecosystem of our families and how it shapes our identities. Through a series of reflective questions, Ben encourages listeners to explore their childhood experiences and the unspoken rules that influenced their development. He emphasizes the importance of understanding our emotional experiences over mere memories, suggesting that feelings of safety, invisibility, or responsibility can provide clearer insights into our past. As the conversation progresses, Ben delves into the masks we adopt to feel accepted and loved, highlighting the difference between our masks and our true personalities. He discusses the 'crud layer' that builds up around our true selves due to societal and familial expectations, and how this can obscure our authentic identities. The episode culminates in a powerful exploration of the inner critic, urging listeners to understand rather than blame this voice that often stems from past experiences. Ultimately, Ben reassures that authenticity is not something to be created but rather a state to return to, encouraging listeners to reconnect with their true selves. Keywords self-esteem, identity, tribal cycle, emotional masks, inner critic, authenticity, childhood experiences, personal growth, self-reflection, emotional ecosystem Takeaways Your emotional experience is often a clearer map than the events themselves.Authenticity isn't something you create; it's something you return to.Masks feel like pressure; authenticity feels like breath.Your true self isn't lost; it's just quiet.If your mask could speak, what would it say it's protecting you from?Titles Unmasking Authenticity: A Journey to Self-DiscoveryThe Tribal Cycle: Understanding Your Emotional EcosystemSound Bites "What mask did you learn to wear?""If you brushed away one layer of that crud today?""Underneath all of that, you're still there, whole."Chapters 00:00 Introduction to the Workshop 04:00 Exploring the Tribal Cycle 04:59 Understanding the Masks We Wear 06:54 The Crud Layer and True Self 07:57 Confronting the Inner Critic 09:25 Returning to Authenticity Hosted by coach Ben Getley, this podcast dives into self-esteem, identity, emotional healing, and personal growth. Through grounded reflections and practical tools, Ben helps listeners understand their inner world and reconnect with their authentic selves. Learn more Website: https://www.bengetleycoaching.com Coaching: https://www.bengetleycoaching.com

    10 min
  4. JAN 15

    When Your Outer Goals Don’t Match Your Inner Needs

    In this episode of The Uncovered Self, we explore a truth that can feel uncomfortable at first — but once you hear it, something inside you may begin to shift: The goals you’re chasing on the surface might not be the goals you truly need. Most of us set goals that look great on paper:   Be more disciplined. Save more money. Communicate better. Stop procrastinating. Feel more confident.   These goals matter — but they’re often what I call safe problems. They’re logical, measurable, socially acceptable… and they don’t require you to feel anything uncomfortable. Beneath every safe problem is a risky problem — the emotional truth you’ve been protecting:   I’m scared of being seen. I’m scared of failing publicly. I’m scared of disappointing people. I’m scared of not being enough. Safe problems keep you busy.   Risky problems set you free. In this episode, we explore why your mind gravitates toward safe problems, how your protector parts step in to keep you from feeling vulnerable, and why this isn’t a flaw — it’s a strategy your system learned long ago. Drawing on Internal Family Systems, attachment theory, and the work of John Bradshaw, we look at how your inner protectors — the problem‑solver, the planner, the peacemaker, the listener — all work to keep you safe, even when they hold you back from what you truly want. You’ll hear a simple example of how a goal like “I want to be more disciplined” often hides a deeper longing for safety, belonging, and self‑trust. And you’ll be guided through a gentle reflection exercise to help you uncover the risky problem beneath your own goals — with compassion, not pressure. Hosted by coach Ben Getley, this podcast dives into self-esteem, identity, emotional healing, and personal growth. Through grounded reflections and practical tools, Ben helps listeners understand their inner world and reconnect with their authentic selves. Learn more Website: https://www.bengetleycoaching.com Coaching: https://www.bengetleycoaching.com

    8 min
  5. JAN 10

    Welcome and Introduction

    In this intro episode, I open the door to The Uncovered Self — a space for exploring the deeper emotional patterns behind your behaviour, your relationships, your money, and the person you’re becoming. We look beneath the surface of the “comfortable problems” you chase on the outside and into the quieter inner territory where real change begins. This is the work shaped by how you learned to feel safe, fit in, and protect yourself long before you realised you were doing it. This podcast isn’t about motivation. It’s about transformation — the honest moments, the subtle shifts, and the slow uncovering of who you are beneath the noise. You’ll be invited to understand yourself with more kindness, notice the patterns shaping your life, reconnect with parts of you that have gone quiet, and loosen the layers that no longer fit. We’ll also explore money through the emotional lens: the younger parts that fear scarcity, the protective parts that overspend, the masks that perform success, and the rules you inherited without realising it. Because money isn’t logical — it’s deeply emotional. Each episode is designed to help you understand yourself more deeply, take your inner world seriously, and move closer to a life that feels grounded and true. Expect short, punchy solo episodes, deeper dives into your patterns, stories from my own journey, and practical tools you can use right away. If you’re ready for inner work that’s human, gentle, and real — you’re exactly where you need to be.   Welcome to The Uncovered Self. Hosted by coach Ben Getley, this podcast dives into self-esteem, identity, emotional healing, and personal growth. Through grounded reflections and practical tools, Ben helps listeners understand their inner world and reconnect with their authentic selves. Learn more Website: https://www.bengetleycoaching.com Coaching: https://www.bengetleycoaching.com

    3 min

About

A space to explore the parts of you that shape your patterns, your money habits, and the way you move through the world — and to uncover the emotional truths beneath who you think you are. Hosted by Ben, this podcast brings together practical psychology, real‑life reflection, and gentle inner work to help you understand yourself on a deeper level. Each episode offers grounded insights, simple questions, and small practices you can use right away — so you can slowly uncover the self beneath the layers you’ve built for protection. This is inner work for everyday life — including your relationship with money.