The Unlock Lab

Tosca DiMatteo
  • 5.0 (7)
  • CAREERS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

You hold the key to unlocking what is stuck in your career, and your business. The unseen will come to light so you can discover how you might be getting in your own way of success and transformation. Expect truth bombs, vulnerability and the messy middle of life’s stories. Expect taboo topics and practical tips to shift your life in the direction of your dreams. I also hope you laugh hard and find levity in the process of seeing, believing, and owning your truth. In this ‘lab’ you are encouraged to experiment with what works and then come back for more! See you in the LAB my friends!

  1. 6D AGO

    Ep 85: 5 Steps to Quiet Your Inner Critic and Lead with "Human Skills"

    We often think our inner critic is just who we are, but that is not the truth. If you aren't cognizant, that inner voice will start as a tiny snowflake and snowball until it convinces you that nothing is worth it anymore. In this episode, I share the specific five-step framework I use with my 1:1 clients and organizations to help them stop the spiral and interact better with one another. Tune in to hear a real-time example of how I navigated a trigger just last week when someone questioned if this podcast was "worth it". You will learn how to identify the specific toxic fuel you’ve been running on and swap it for the sustainable fuel of self-belief. Episode Highlights: Separation: Why you must visualize your critic as separate from your core self (and why you shouldn't name it after a family member!). The "Toxic Fuel" Myth: Understanding that shame and meanness are like gas—they burn dirty and eventually run out—whereas self-compassion is sustainable energy. The Interruption: How to use physical movement, music, or even a shower to physically cleanse the negative thought pattern. The Vacation Technique: You don't need to shame your critic; you need to love it enough to send it on a permanent vacation. Quotables: [01:05:26] "When it comes to your inner critics, it's often creating a narrative that you can't 100% confirm with certainty, which means it's a lie." [01:09:42] "Shame and a mean voice is not a sustainable way of motivating you... you're never going to move through tough emotions if you keep beating yourself up." [01:12:16] "Your inner critic loves you deeply... it's only using the tools that it has... trying to keep you safe from disappointment." Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Inner Critic Packages with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

    21 min

  2. FEB 3

    Ep 84: I Gave a 10-Minute Talk on Inner Critics: Here is the Process I Used

    We often think of public speaking as a technical skill, but it is actually a profound test of our human skills. I recently gave a presentation on inner critics. The challenge wasn't the speaking itself, as I have done that for years, but the format. I had to condense a 45-minute keynote into a hard-hitting 10-minute talk. This shift in routine woke up my own inner critics. The struggle is not just about remembering your talking points; it is about the emotional beatdown we give ourselves before, during, and after we speak. When we do not have a process to handle this, we rob ourselves of the ability to actually enjoy the impact we make. Tune in to learn how to shift your focus from "performance perfection" to genuine connection. This ensures you show up fully for your audience without abandoning yourself in the process, no matter if you are speaking for 45 minutes or giving a 5-minute update. I share my personal protocol for preparation and celebration that ensures you walk away feeling proud, regardless of the outcome. Episode Highlights: The Preparation Paradox: Why memorizing your script is not about being robotic; it is about creating safety for your nervous system so you can be present. The Two Ways to Show Up: We always focus on showing up for the audience, but I explain why showing up for yourself with grace is the missing link. Celebrating the Service: How to silence the post-game analysis and simply say "I was of service" to build confidence for next time. Quotables: "I teach inner critic work because I have to do so much work on myself with my own inner critics and keeping them at bay." "Not because you might be looking at being a speaker in your career, but more so because regardless of your professional field, you probably have to get in front of folks from time to time." "How are you showing up for your audience and how are you showing up yourself?" Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

    18 min

  3. JAN 26

    Ep 83: Why Putting Yourself First Isn’t Selfish: Solving the Leadership Equation

    Human skills are the ability to deeply look at yourself, understand your patterns, and realize that to be a successful leader, you must put yourself first in the equation of your life. For years, many of us have been indoctrinated into roles of self-sacrifice; whether as the "caregiver" or the "provider," we often find ourselves at the very end of the list. When we abandon ourselves this way, we operate from an empty tank, leading to resentment, burnout, and physical health risks. Tune in to learn how to identify the "hits" of instant gratification that keep you from setting boundaries, and why putting yourself first is actually the most service-oriented choice you can make. By filling your own cup first, you move from depletion to an overflowing capacity that allows you to model a more patient, present, and effective way of leading in a chaotic 2026. Episode Highlights: The Human Skills Deficit: Why the world has overemphasized technical skills for too long, leaving our human connection out of balance. The Cost of the "Yes": Tosca shares a personal story of how ignoring her own stamina during a family trip led to walking pneumonia. Gendered Conditioning: Breaking down how societal expectations for both women and men create a pressure to self-sacrifice to the point of self-abandonment. The Ripple Effect: Understanding how your self-care provides a model for others to reject hustle culture and martyrdom. Micro-Experiments: Practical ways to start honoring your needs, starting with something as simple as not delaying a bathroom break. Quotables: [01:00:45] "To be a successful leader, you must put yourself first in the equation of your life." [01:01:22] "Your ability to deeply reflect on yourself, your emotions, your thoughts, your behaviors, your patterns: and your ability to then make a new choice for yourself is what will be the key for how you level up your leadership." [01:13:30] "You have more capacity and patience to be of service because you are actually serving from an overflowing cup versus serving from a depleted cup." Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

    19 min

  4. JAN 20

    Ep. 82: You Aren't Broken: Healing "Paper Cut" Trauma and the Nervous System with Stacey Uhrig

    "I don’t believe we can heal things we don’t understand"-Stacey Uhrig We often think of trauma as the big, explosive events: war, violence, or catastrophe. But what about the paper cuts?. What about the relentless pressure of "not enoughness" that accumulates over decades?. In this episode, I sit down with Stacey Uhrig, a Trauma Recovery Coach who helps people flip their mindset. We aren't just talking about "soft skills" here; we are talking about the essential Human Skills required to lead yourself and others when the ground falls out from under you.  Stacey shares her deeply personal story of the 2012 financial collapse that decimated her family business and left her facing a "Defcon 10" level of stress. She lost her savings, her security, and her peace of mind. But in that darkness, she found a whisper. She found a micro-practice of gratitude that pulled her back from the edge, one hour at a time. Tune in to learn how you might be bypassing your own needs and operating from a dysregulated nervous system , so that you can finally release the invisible brakes holding you back and lead with genuine clarity and peace. This conversation is for the high-achiever who feels like they are pushing a boulder up a hill every single day. If you are successful on paper but exhausted in spirit, this is your permission slip to stop, get curious, and listen to what your body has been screaming at you. 🦉 Episode Highlights: Defining the Wound: Why trauma isn't just what happened to you; it’s also what didn't happen (like emotional neglect) and how you adapted to survive it. The "Hurt" Assessment: Stacey explains her tool for identifying the healing unresolved roots of trauma (HURRT) and why standard ACE scores miss the mark for many high-performers. Generational Baggage: A fascinating look at epigenetics and how the stress your grandmother felt could be living in your nervous system today. The Body Keeps the Score: Stacey opens up about her autoimmune diagnoses (Endometriosis, Raynaud’s, RA) and how she put her RA into remission by combining medical treatment with deep somatic release. Micro-Gratitude: The specific, no-cost strategy Stacey used to rebuild her safety when she had $500 to her name and a family to feed. Human Skills > Soft Skills: Why you cannot effectively lead a team or a business until you understand the "parts" of you that are driving the bus. Quotables: [02:07:50] "Trauma is the way that you are living to protect yourself from touching that wound." [03:03:00] "I didn't know that I took for granted that I can pay my bills... I wanted to be grateful for all of it while I had it because I never knew when I would not have it." [03:23:01] "No one's broken. You just adapted to life in a way that's no longer working for you." Links and Resources: Connect with Stacey Uhrig: Instagram: www.instagram.com/staceyuhrig Website: www.flipyourmindset.com HURRT Assessment: www.flipyourmindset.com/hurrt 8-week course on healing anxiety: www.flipyourmindset.com/thecalmcode Book Recommendations from this Episode: Break The Cycle by Dr. Mariel Buqué It Didn't Start With You by Mark Wolynn Bully Market by Jamie Fiore Higgins The Myth of Normal by Dr. Gabor Maté The Biology of Trauma by Dr. Aimie Apigian Find them all here: https://www.flipyourmindset.com/book-recommendation Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

    1h 17m

  5. JAN 13

    Ep. 81: Why Your New Year Doesn’t Start on January 1st

    Starting a new year "well" isn't about forced optimism or arbitrary calendar dates; it is about honoring your internal rhythm and finding your footing before you sprint. For years, I noticed a pattern where my personal "new year" didn't actually kick in until the spring equinox. I used to feel the pressure of expectations and conditioning that I should be excited in January, even when I felt like I was at low tide. Recognizing that new chapters are a gradual transition like the tide coming in rather than a light switch flipping on, changed how I approach my goals. Tune in to learn how you might be sabotaging your success by rushing past the closure of 2025, so that you can create a sustainable, grounded foundation for the year ahead. Episode Highlights: ​The "Light Switch" Myth: Untangling the belief that a new calendar year means an instant internal shift; recognizing that regression is part of the flow.​The Power of Closure: Noticing which "loose ends" (like unfinished financial tasks or unresolved conversations) are draining your energy and need to be shut down before you move forward.​Finding Your Compass: Why you don't always need a specific destination, but you do need a directional tool—whether that is a word, an affirmation, or a vision board—to keep from getting blown away by the wind. Quotables: ​[00:02:40] "We have the ability to start over every day, every minute, every second, and so we don't have to put pressure on feeling this sense of a new chapter on a particular day." ​[00:06:40] "New beginnings can be way more powerful when you've made some intentional actions for closure." ​[00:20:25] "I wish for you a start to the year that is coming from the stillness of your heart and not the busyness of your mind." Tosca's Links and Resources: ​Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter​Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com​Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact​Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/​Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

    18 min

  6. 12/16/2025

    Ep. 80 Inner Critic Series: You Are Not Successful

    As another year wraps up, you may find yourself reflecting on what you achieved, what you didn’t, and where you hope to go next. It’s a natural process, but it can easily stir up a voice we know all too well: The Inner Critic. This week’s episode on The Unlock Lab, I address the inner critic that measures your success harshly. I highlight the importance of setting your own measures based on what matters to you rather than what others expect, and how to understand and tame the inner critic through a compassionate and truthful self assessment. This is a reminder to celebrate your achievements and to see your inner critic for what it is - just one part of you trying to keep you protected and safe from disappointment. Tune in to learn how to reclaim what success means to you, and end the year grounded in trust instead of self-judgment. Episode Highlights: Shift out of the inner critic negative loop The inner critic rarely considers reality; the unexpected challenges, shifting priorities or global uncertainty that shaped your year.  Reflect on how you have lived this year; did you show up for yourself and others with integrity? Quotables: [00:07:54] "Let's remember that inner critics tell you lies. Let's remember that this work of mastering and shifting our inner critic dialogue is to check for the actual truth. 'Cause your inner critic is feeding you lies, and we're not gonna have it. We're not gonna end our year in despair because our inner critic is running amuck." [00:12:58] "As you think about your measures of success, you can ask yourself; What types of things did you prioritize? And you may need to really sit with that for a minute because you are prioritizing and reprioritizing your life every single day. It's constant. And with all the things going on in the world, sometimes the prioritization was just maintaining our sanity and not falling into a deep hole of despair, and that is valid as a priority." [00:19:12] "I want you to consider what season have I been in? Was it a season of grief? Was it a season of personal growth and focus on self? Was it a season of giving yourself permission to just be and stop engaging in the hustle culture? Maybe it was a season of building your confidence and going slower and being more assured in your decisions." Tosca’s Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com Podcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

    31 min

  7. 12/09/2025

    Ep. 79 How to Take Your Power Back Through Discernment

    Discernment is the ability to make the best possible choice for yourself - which is the recognition that you have the sovereignty to choose what is truly for you. It took me years to learn how I was giving away my time, energy and resources without being discerning enough. Being selective about which relationships and places you invest in will change the trajectory of your life, because you’ll be in more alignment with what you are worthy of. Tune in to learn where you might be self abandoning or accepting less than you’re deserving, so that you can honor yourself, your desires and your standards at a new level. And why not start now when we are in the hustle and bustle of holiday time!? Episode Highlights: •Untangling yourself from the belief that your connections automatically get unlimited access •Noticing when you’re saying yes from scarcity (fear of missing out, fear of being lonely, fear of closing a door) •Learning to trust that when you say no to what’s not aligned so you create space for what will serve you in the long term Quotables: [00:04:57]  “Discernment has been a big word for me for several years because I had this big realization several years ago about who I was allowing in my life and who had the opportunity to have access to me and where I was giving my resources to. And I realized that there was a lot of folks that were getting my time and energy that really hadn't earned a spot there.” [00:09:29] “ I would stay on calls well past the point of value. I would stay on to be that support person and to give and to hold space. It was my way of giving and over time I realized I'm just giving away too damn much. It's not about not being generous and it's not about not giving, it's about being discerning about what level of that works for you.” [00:20:17] “ As you are moving through this season, as you are recognizing, oh my gosh, we're already several days into December, remember that you get to take your power back. You get to take your time and your energy back through discernment and it's not a selfish act because what is in your best interest is in the best interest of others as well." Tosca’s Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com Podcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

    24 min

  8. 12/02/2025

    Ep. 78 Healing Relationships Requires No Apologies

    Open wounds in relationships can throw off how we move in the world because it causes us dis-ease not only in our mind, but often in our body too. In this week’s episode, I dig into what it takes to move through relationship unrest when the other person can’t show up, won’t take responsibility, or simply isn’t able to meet you where you are. It's a big and emotional topic, but finding healing and resolution within yourself holds so much power. Once you stop waiting for an apology or a resolution that may never come, you finally start reclaiming your peace. I share personal stories about over-giving, ignoring red flags and staying in relationships long after receiving signs that you outgrew them. Tune in to hear how healing comes from taking responsibility for your own emotional process, practicing self-forgiveness, and accepting people exactly as they are, not as you wish they were. Episode Highlights: Heal without an apology, to take your power back. Healing happens when you feel and release your emotions, not by waiting for time to pass. Recognize your relationship patterns, and what you need to shift to attract what you need now in your life. Quotables: [00:06:45] “ Time does not heal all wounds, what heals all wounds is you actively taking action for your healing. That's what works. Time will pass, but if you're not taking action on finding resolve within yourself around these relationships, it's not just gonna go away on its own.” [00:10:17] “ Healing our relationships is a process of self forgiveness. It's also a process of loving the other person through who they are right now, and what their limitations are right now, and this can even include family.” [00:32:10] “ One of the things I also wanna leave you with in your relationship healing journey is to ask yourself, do you miss the person or do you miss the idea of who you wish that person could be for you?” Tosca’s Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com Podcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

    36 min
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About

You hold the key to unlocking what is stuck in your career, and your business. The unseen will come to light so you can discover how you might be getting in your own way of success and transformation. Expect truth bombs, vulnerability and the messy middle of life’s stories. Expect taboo topics and practical tips to shift your life in the direction of your dreams. I also hope you laugh hard and find levity in the process of seeing, believing, and owning your truth. In this ‘lab’ you are encouraged to experiment with what works and then come back for more! See you in the LAB my friends!

Information

  • Creator
    Tosca DiMatteo
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    86
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Tosca DiMatteo
  • Show Website
    The Unlock Lab