The Unlock Lab

Tosca DiMatteo

You hold the key to unlocking what is stuck in your career, and your business. The unseen will come to light so you can discover how you might be getting in your own way of success and transformation. Expect truth bombs, vulnerability and the messy middle of life’s stories. Expect taboo topics and practical tips to shift your life in the direction of your dreams. I also hope you laugh hard and find levity in the process of seeing, believing, and owning your truth. In this ‘lab’ you are encouraged to experiment with what works and then come back for more! See you in the LAB my friends!

  1. 5D AGO

    Ep 96: Why Perfectionism Is Secretly Ruining Your Life

    Perfectionism is a word that I generally haven’t identified with to a large extent. If somebody were to ask, "Are you a perfectionist?" I probably wouldn’t raise my hand immediately. Why? Because deep down I know that perfectionism is an illusion. Perfectionism is defined by other people and requires effort trying to reach some gold standard that quite frankly is unrealistic, not achievable and sometimes not even definable. What’s actually going on behind perfectionism are behaviors of double checking, triple checking, and ruminating. All of these things are about self protection. It's about avoiding disappointment, ridicule, humiliation or perhaps even shame. I share the story of when I received this label of ‘perfectionist’ as feedback from a boss early in my career, the impact it had on me, and also the opportunity she missed in providing helpful information and resources. Tune in to learn why we need to ask ourselves, what's really important in this situation? It might just be time to let good be good enough, and use positive messages to motivate yourself from a place of being your own best friend. Episode Highlights: Untangling the flawed conditioning from growing up in education systems where it felt like perfection was attainable, realistic, and made sense as a goal. Noticing how your behaviors behind perfectionism are really about avoiding disappointment, ridicule, humiliation and shame. See how to stop self sabotaging behaviors to have more impact.Quotables: [01:15:55:23] "...net net, perfectionism is a form of self sabotage." [01:07:34:04] "...if we are looking at what does 100% look like, what it comes with is a huge opportunity cost." [01:21:26:00] "...if you were being your own best friend... you would say, 'Honey, you've done enough. It's good enough. Put it out there. Let it go.'"Stop letting self-doubt dictate your decisions. Take back the power from your inner critic and, take the Inner Critic Compass today to see which one is running your show. As a gift, I’ll send you a toolkit to help you on your path to be your own best friend: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/innercritic-compass Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

    26 min
  2. MAY 4

    Ep 95: The "Imposter Syndrome" Trap: Why This Label Is Destroying Your Potential

    The term "imposter syndrome" is one that every time I hear it, I cringe. The reason is that nobody is an imposter, and you cannot diagnose this as a clinical syndrome. Using this language perpetuates the underlying issue of people not feeling good enough. What is actually going on is an inner dialogue, an inner narrative, or an inner critic going on in your head that is telling you all kinds of lies. Tune in to learn why we need to stop using this language altogether, so that you can motivate yourself from a place of love and abundance. It is time to recognize your skill gaps for what they truly are: a beautiful opportunity to grow into. Episode Highlights: Untangling the flawed conditioning that negative stimuli is an effective way to drive results. Noticing how your inner critic tells you lies like "you do not deserve to be here". The result of seeing a skill gap as an expansion of your Human Skills rather than a syndrome.Quotables: [01:00:51:22] "And the reason for that is because nobody's an imposter... you cannot diagnose this as a clinical syndrome." [01:04:45:02] "...we have been so conditioned in society to think that this negative stimuli is okay to drive the kind of results that we want for ourselves. And I think that is completely outdated." [01:05:28:03] "...what I think is a much powerful form of fuel is to be your own best friend and to be your cheerleader and to motivate yourself from a place of love." Stop letting self-doubt dictate your decisions. The Inner Critic Compass is a practical tool designed to help you silence negative self-talk, overcome self-sabotage, and build lasting confidence. Take control of your mindset and get the Inner Critic Compass today: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/innercritic-compass Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo: https://adriandimatteo.com

    16 min
  3. APR 14

    Ep 94: Creating New Spaces Through Vulnerability with Jenn T. Grace

    In this episode, meet Jenn T. Grace, my friend, a champion of storytelling, and financial advisor consultant turned founder of Publish Your Purpose. Jenn shares her personal path from navigating corporate challenges where she hid a big part of her identity to empowering authors through her organization. We discussed crucial ways to align your personal values with your professional environment and touched on the struggle of balancing genuine self-expression with career expectations. At the core, this episode is a rally cry for you to remember that your story matters; whether you're contemplating writing your own book, striving for authenticity in your career, or simply looking to better understand yourself and others. This episode offers valuable perspectives on how personal and professional growth are interconnected. This line from Jenn pretty much sums it up for me: "There's a place for vulnerability in professional settings, but somehow we've lost our way in being able to do that." Note: This episode was originally published on 5.12.24 without video. About Jenn T. Grace: An award-winning author, nationally recognized speaker, and savvy publishing strategist, Jenn T. Grace is the founder of Publish Your Purpose, the acclaimed hybrid publishing company that gives first-time authors the secrets to getting their books written, finding an eager audience, and marking their place in the publishing world. She is the author of seven books, including Publish Your Purpose: A Step-by-Step Guide to Write, Publish, and Grow Your Big Idea. Jenn has been featured in Forbes, The Huffington Post, The Wall Street Journal, and CNBC. Key Takeaways: Freedom and connection in the workplace happens when we can open up and be more vulnerable with telling our stories. Workplace culture may lead you to ask if it's a place that aligns to your values or if it's time to leave. Our superpowers often come from the places that we shame, hide, or don't know how to embrace. We often make efforts to conform, but the more we do the work on ourselves we can see that we don't have to be around people that lower our vibration. Grief work is part of pruning relationships in our life as we honor our priority to rise to the next level. When you free yourself from what's not serving you, you become more of who you are, and more confident that you're worthy of better. You deserve more. This is the process of becoming your own best friend.Quotables: (5:38) Jenn: "I find that so many people have stories to share that either are not currently reflected in what's available, or they feel like they're not good enough to be the one that shares the story, or they're not important enough, or there's that kind of underlaying of imposter syndrome that I think everyone experiences." (12:42) Tosca: "My belief is that the reason why we're in this situation with workplace culture is because we're not showing up, giving ourselves permission to be all of who we are and to be vulnerable and to just be honest because we're all just stuffing shit, you know? And all people really want is connection at work." (39:45) Jenn: "We have to be brave enough to take that first step to say, I don't really know how I'm going to get there, but I have this vision that I want to get somewhere that's not here. Let me start exploring and take that first baby step because the path illuminates itself."Jenn's Links: Publish Your Purpose Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo: https://adriandimatteo.com

    44 min
  4. APR 7

    Ep 93: Why the Strongest Leaders Are Built in the Repair (Not the Perfection)

    Let me just say it: you are not going to get it right every time as a leader. Not even close. And honestly? That's not the problem. The problem is what happens when you don't repair it. In this episode of The Unlock Lab, I talk about where the real strength in leadership actually lives, and spoiler alert, it's not in being perfect. It's in the repair and the correction. The willingness to say, "Yeah, I messed that up," and then actually do something about it. In this episode I share a personal story from 24 years of living with Type 1 diabetes that changed how I think about mistakes, and why I had to learn to expect the overcorrection before I could take my power back. It's messy. It's not binary. And there is absolutely no such thing as perfect. In this episode we cover: → Why fear of messing up keeps leaders stuck in avoidance (and how to get out of it) → The childhood messages that shaped your belief system around mistakes → Why brushing off your mistakes is a cop-out, and what courage looks like → How repair and correction can leapfrog the strength of your relationships at work → Where to start if you have no idea how to make it right This is the work. And I'm here for all of it with you. 🔔 If this episode hit home, subscribe and leave a review, it means the world and helps other leaders find their way here too. 📩 Have questions or want to keep the conversation going? Reach out, all my info is in the notes below. Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com #TheUnlockLab #LeadershipDevelopment #LeadershipCoaching #EmotionalIntelligence #MistakesInLeadership #LeadershipGrowth #CourageousLeadership #RepairAndCorrection #ToscaDiMatteo #GrowthMindset

    16 min
  5. MAR 31

    Ep 92: Generosity in Leadership: A Guide to Building Trust

    In this episode, I explore the gems of generosity in leadership. Moving away from transactional leadership and the "what's in it for me" model, I offer generosity as a core pillar for authentic leadership. I break down the many forms generosity can take, from giving your time, to initiating difficult conversations. I also address the common resistance we face, such as the fear of getting burned or the overemphasis on efficiency, and explain why playing the long game in leadership will put more wins on your board. Key Takeaways Generosity is about giving without the expectation of receiving anything in return. Generosity comes in many forms: time, assumptions, acknowledgments, care, forgiveness, difficult conversations, sharing yourself, trust, network introductions, and providing opportunities. Giving trust first helps us stay out of micromanaging our teams. Overcoming resistance to generosity requires us to decondition from a strict focus on productivity and efficiency. Even if the results are not immediate, the intention behind your generosity matters and is deeply felt by others. Resources Mentioned Visit my website at coachtosca.com to learn more about my work and read my blog. Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

    26 min
  6. MAR 24

    Ep 91: Navigating Generational Expectations: From Traffic Engineer to CEO with Mitch Patel

    Feeling stuck in a career that looks successful on paper but leaves you drained is a heavy burden to carry. It’s a nagging sensation that you are meant for more, but your inner narrative, or even external influences might be convincing you to stay the course. Looking at the drivers of our choices and decisions allows us to understand if we are living the life we want, or the life we think we’re supposed to live. When we can accept the truth of our desires and make new decisions towards them, we create the space for genuine fulfillment and purpose.In my conversation with Mitch Patel, CEO of Vision Hospitality Group, you will not only hear his stories about how he broke free from expectations, you will hear about his passion for building a life and business rooted in purpose, unshakeable culture, and being a good human being. Episode Highlights: Untangling the belief that you have to know how to do everything before you start something new. Noticing the fear of the unknown when shifting your career path. The result of prioritizing values to lead with a character-driven, people-first approach in a competitive industry. Quotables: [01:25:11:05] "Working hard in something you don't love is stress. And working hard in something you love is passion." [01:51:12:19] "Culture will define a company's destiny. But character will define yours." [02:24:54:18] "Smooth seas never made a skilled sailor." About Mitch Patel Founder and Chief Executive OfficerChanneling a passion for the hospitality industry, Mitch Patel established Vision Hospitality Group in 1997 on a foundation of values that guide the organization to this day. With an unwavering commitment to excellence, Mitch oversees every aspect of the company, from investment procurement to the seamless execution of daily operations. Additionally, he oversees strategic development and implementation that has propelled Vision Hospitality Group to garner numerous awards within the industry. Mitch holds both a bachelor’s and master’s degree in Civil Engineering from the University of Tennessee. His background in engineering informs his approach to development, capital planning, and long-term asset strategy. In addition to his responsibilities at Vision, Mitch served as Chair of the Board of the American Hotel & Lodging Association in 2025. In that role, he supported national advocacy efforts on behalf of the lodging industry, including workforce development and public policy initiatives. Vision Hospitality Group: https://www.vhghotels.com/ Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

    1h 25m
  7. MAR 17

    Ep 90: Closing the People Skill Gap: Daily Habits for Effective Leaders

    Are you an experienced leader who feels like you’re constantly pushing boulders up hills when managing your team? Organizations often prioritize execution and technical expertise over everything else. This leaves many leaders with a significant people skill gap, especially those who have risen in the ranks due to their technical and analytical expertise. If you’ve been told you need to work on your relationships in your job, there’s no shame in that. We all have areas of opportunity.In this episode, we address why human skills are the absolute precursor to developing strong people skills. We explore why Gallup attributes 70% of team engagement directly to the manager, rather than company strategy or compensation. You’ll learn how to tame your inner critic, heal the root wounds causing friction, and make time for people skills on your daily agenda. Episode Highlights: Why 70% of team engagement is attributable to the manager.The critical difference between people skills and the human skills required to build them.A real-world example of a leader who overcame her inner critic to stop freezing in front of her CEO.Six essential questions to ask yourself at the beginning and end of every workday to prioritize your relationship development. Quotables: "The single greatest variable in whether a team performs, stays, and thrives is the quality of human leadership their experience daily.""Human skills are the ability to deeply understand yourself, your thought and behavior patterns, and this is what helps you become better at people skills.""That's how we get better at leading is by making sure we're in the equation first. "Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo: https://adriandimatteo.com

    20 min
  8. MAR 10

    Ep 89: The Antidote to Leadership Isolation with Debra Driscoll

    Intentional community is the conscious gathering of people for a specific purpose where every individual is seen, heard, and accounted for. For years, I lived with the belief that I just had to do life by myself, which was the biggest lie my inner critic ever told me. When you move out of isolation and into a space of mutual support, you strip your inner critic of its power and begin to lead from a place of grounded truth. In this episode, I sit down with Debra Driscoll , founder of The BeHer Collective (her previous company was Big Life Magic), to explore how intentional community serves as the ultimate antidote to leadership burnout. Tune in to learn why you might be suffering in silence despite your external success, so that you can stop performing for others and start being supported by a community. This conversation with Debra Driscoll provides the practical framework to move from isolation into authentic connection. Episode Highlights: Untangling the false belief that strong leadership requires you to do everything by yourself. Noticing how the inner critic uses isolation to convince you that your struggles are personal failings. The result of entering a space where the core agreement is to witness each other without trying to fix or heal. Quotables: "The inner critic is a master of isolation. It wants you alone so it can convince you that your struggle is a personal failure rather than a shared human experience." "We have this agreement where we don't try to fix or heal anybody; we simply provide the container where you can finally stop performing and start being." "I lived with the belief for so long that I just had to do life by myself, but that was actually the biggest lie my critic ever told me." Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Guest Links: Explore Debra Driscoll’s Work: https://thebehercollective.com/ Substack: https://thebehercollective.substack.com/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

    1h 11m
5
out of 5
7 Ratings

About

You hold the key to unlocking what is stuck in your career, and your business. The unseen will come to light so you can discover how you might be getting in your own way of success and transformation. Expect truth bombs, vulnerability and the messy middle of life’s stories. Expect taboo topics and practical tips to shift your life in the direction of your dreams. I also hope you laugh hard and find levity in the process of seeing, believing, and owning your truth. In this ‘lab’ you are encouraged to experiment with what works and then come back for more! See you in the LAB my friends!