What do a proposed elementary school closure, teenage boy perms, a cooler full of beer, voodoo dolls made from human hair, and robot porn have in common? Absolutely nothing. But somehow, we're covering all of it in one episode. Welcome back to The Write Collab Podcast! Mary and Jenny are back in the sauna, this time wearing skeleton onesies, with special guest Matiah Hill joining the conversation. We're doing things a little differently this week. We're skipping our usual Writer's Room segment to focus on something happening right here in our community: the proposed closure of Moorlands Elementary School in Kenmore, Washington. And once we've covered that, we're getting into some seriously questionable behavior behind the hairstylist's chair. Sauna Sessions & Confessions: Save Moorlands Elementary The Northshore School District is considering closing Moorlands Elementary, a school that holds a special place in our families and community. Moorlands appears in all three proposed closure scenarios, and we have questions. A lot of them. We're digging into enrollment projections, instructional classroom capacity, district property acquisitions, and what a closure could mean for students, teachers, families, and surrounding neighborhoods. Here's what we're discussing: Enrollment projections: Why is Moorlands included in every proposed closure scenario when the district's own projections show its enrollment stabilizing by 2030?Classroom capacity: Why consider relocating students to schools with fewer permanent instructional seats?Nearly $2 million in property purchases: The Northshore School District purchased multiple properties adjacent to Moorlands Elementary in 2018, 2022, and 2025, totaling nearly $2 million. What were those properties purchased for, and how do those acquisitions factor into the district's current plans?School facilities: Could existing facilities and school boundaries be better utilized without closing Moorlands?Community impact: What happens to teachers, educational programs, students, families, property values, and longstanding school traditions when a community school closes?We're not here to make accusations. We're asking questions based on publicly available information and seeking transparency about decisions that could have lasting consequences for our community. These aren't just numbers on a spreadsheet. These are our children, our teachers, our neighborhoods, and our schools. Help Save Moorlands Elementary! Please sign and share the petition: SAVE MOORLANDS ELEMENTARY — Change.org Whether you live in Kenmore or halfway across the country, your support matters. Confessions Behind the Chair with Matiah Hill After the serious stuff, we're switching gears. And apparently, hairstylists have seen some things. Mary's sister-in-law, Matiah Hill, joins us to share what she's learned from nearly 15 years behind the chair. Turns out, people will tell their hairstylist just about anything. And sometimes they'll show them things nobody asked to see. We're talking about: The return of teenage boy perms and the infamous alpaca haircut.Why hairstylists are basically unpaid therapists.A client who showed up with her dog and an entire cooler of beer.A hair inspiration photo featuring considerably more boobs than hair.Voodoo dolls made from actual human hair.And one client's surprisingly early predictions about robotics and the future of porn.You really can't make some of this stuff up. Ask Harry Our beloved Magic 8-Ball returns to tackle some of life's most pressing questions. Should hairstylists charge extra for emotional baggage? Should nude inspiration photos come with a warning? Is bringing a cooler of alcohol to your appointment considered self-care? And perhaps most importantly, is robot porn really the future? Harry has opinions. Whether they're helpful is another story. Join The Collab Want more of the conversations that don't always make it into the public podcast? Join us on Patreon for full video episodes, bonus content, behind-the-scenes footage, unclaimed package unboxings, and more. Join The Write Collab on Patreon Have a ridiculous workplace confession, a hairstylist horror story, or a question for Ask Harry? Send it our way! We might feature your story in an upcoming episode. Don't forget to follow, download, rate, review, and share The Write Collab Podcast wherever you listen. Production Credits Original music by Adrian Cendoya Audio production and engineering by Wayfare Recording Co.
