Therapy, Coaching & Dreams

Dee Kelley

Therapy, Coaching & Dreams is cohosted by Dr. Jim Shalley and Dr. Selden Dee Kelley III, a therapist and a coach who love talking about how inner work can help you live with more awareness, purpose and freedom.

  1. Jul 16

    S2E19 The Ripple Effects Of Change

    Send us Fan Mail The healthiest changes in your life can still blow up the system around you. When you stop a habit, set a boundary, or simply decide you’re done carrying a role, it doesn’t just affect you. It reshapes family systems, friendships, and the unwritten agreements inside long-term relationships. We dig into why that disruption is so common, and why it can feel both encouraging and strangely painful at the same time.  We start with an everyday example that’s bigger than it sounds: choosing to stop social drinking. Even when nobody is “making” you change, the group dynamic shifts instantly, and people may test whether you’re serious. From there, we get honest about how often we try to externalize discipline by announcing intentions and asking others to keep us accountable, and why true heart change usually shows up quietly in consistent action.  Then we move into boundaries in marriage and committed relationships, especially for responders, accommodators, and enablers who finally hit a wall. We talk about role renegotiation (including the classic “what’s for dinner?” conflict), the difference between changing from exhaustion versus changing from health, and how direct communication can prevent years of resentment.  If you’re working on personal growth, therapy, coaching, addiction recovery, or simply better communication, you’ll leave with a clearer map of what to expect and how to stay steady when others push back. Subscribe, share this with someone navigating change, and leave a review with the boundary or role you’re trying to shift right now. You can connect with the cohosts through their respective websites: AFCCounselors.com (Dr. Shalley) / https://www.inyourdreams.coach/contact (Dr. Kelley)

  2. Jul 8

    S2E18 Fragile, Inflated, Crushed or Healthy: How The Ego Shapes Daily Life

    Send us Fan Mail As a coach and a therapist and get specific about what we mean when we say “ego.” From there, we break the ego into real-world patterns you’ve probably seen at work and at home: the fragile ego that can’t tolerate threat, the inflated ego that resists other possibilities, and the crushed ego that shuts down under defeat. We talk candidly about how a truly crushed ego can drift toward suicidal ideation, and why steady support matters more than any quick fix. Then we pivot toward what a healthy ego looks like, especially when criticism hits. The goal isn’t denial or self-attack, but a calmer process: depersonalize, check for evidence, learn what’s true, and let the rest go. We also share practical “flags” that it’s time to talk to a therapist or coach, including repeating patterns, feedback you keep dismissing, and relationship dynamics that keep showing up with different faces. We cover when medication and talk therapy can work together for anxiety, depression, and mood dysregulation, plus foundational self-care like sleep hygiene and emotional mindfulness. If you want a more grounded way to handle setbacks, we end with a reframe that changes everything: what if failure is just an experiment pointing you toward the best next step? Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find the show. You can connect with the cohosts through their respective websites: AFCCounselors.com (Dr. Shalley) / https://www.inyourdreams.coach/contact (Dr. Kelley)

  3. Jul 2

    S2E17 A Sexual Dream Can Be A Map To Your Inner Life

    Send us Fan Mail A sexual dream can feel like your mind just exposed you, especially when the dream partner makes no sense or the emotion is stronger than you expected. We slow that moment down and reframe it through dream work: sexuality in dreams often points to psychological integration, where you are trying to connect with parts of yourself you have ignored, feared, or kept too controlled. When we treat sex dreams as symbols instead of literal instruction, shame loosens and insight shows up. We walk through questions we use in therapy and coaching to help you interpret sex dreams with clarity: What does sex represent to you? What do you want it to mean? What stands out as the strongest moment in the dream? We also look at the dream partner as a mirror, exploring how their traits may reflect undeveloped or emerging aspects of your personality. Along the way, we name an important caution: some sexual content in dreams can be tied to trauma triggers, and it deserves careful attention rather than quick symbolism. Then we widen the lens to couples counseling and intimacy. We talk about the familiar standoff of emotional connection versus physical connection, how masculine energy and feminine energy can collide, and why externalizing the solution often keeps couples stuck. Using the STIR model of personality (Stabilizer, Transformer, Initiator, Responder), we highlight blind spots that shape desire, safety, spontaneity, and the courage to say yes or no. The goal is a healthier “dance” where both people negotiate honestly and build a norm that fits their relationship. If this conversation helps you, subscribe, share the episode with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find thoughtful, practical tools for dream interpretation, sexuality, and relationship growth. You can connect with the cohosts through their respective websites: AFCCounselors.com (Dr. Shalley) / https://www.inyourdreams.coach/contact (Dr. Kelley)

  4. Jun 3

    S2E14 What If Your Dreams Know Your Personality Better Than You Do

    Send us Fan Mail A terrifying dream. A stranger at the door. A jolt of fear so sharp it lingers into daylight and forces a question most of us avoid: what if my dreams are trying to tell me something real? We share a special reading from Dee Kelley’s book, Dreamwork, It’s Not That Complicated, starting with an invitation into dreamwork that begins with one unsettling night and the decision not to shut the whole system down just because it’s scary. From there, we lay out a practical approach to dreamwork for self-discovery. We talk about why dreams aren’t “random nonsense,” and why the goal isn’t to decode a universal symbol list. Instead, we treat dreams as a living dialogue with your inner world, rich with emotion, memory, patterns, and possibility. You’ll hear the three essentials that make dreamwork actually work: committing to self-awareness, staying open to dreams as a tool, and having that one dream that proves the practice matters. We also nod to the research behind why dreaming can support emotional regulation, memory consolidation, and creativity. In the second reading, we go deeper by applying a theory of personality to dreams. Using a detailed dream example, we explore how dream settings and characters can reflect personality structure, imbalance, and inner conflict. We compare helpful lenses like Jungian psychology (ego and shadow, masculine and feminine energies) and Internal Family Systems therapy (Self, managers, exiles, firefighters), showing how these frameworks can bring order to dream images that feel chaotic and help you move toward integration. If you want a free Audible copy (limited, first come first serve), visit inyourdreams.coach and click Audible Format. Subscribe, share this with a friend who texts you their dreams, and leave a review so more people can learn to listen to what their dreams are saying. You can connect with the cohosts through their respective websites: AFCCounselors.com (Dr. Shalley) / https://www.inyourdreams.coach/contact (Dr. Kelley)

5
out of 5
8 Ratings

About

Therapy, Coaching & Dreams is cohosted by Dr. Jim Shalley and Dr. Selden Dee Kelley III, a therapist and a coach who love talking about how inner work can help you live with more awareness, purpose and freedom.

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