85 episodes
There Will Be Crossbows James Nelson and John Robison
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- Comedy
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5.0 • 5 Ratings
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There Will Be Crossbows is a long-distance improvised comedy podcast, featuring frequent collaborators and veteran improvisers John Robison and James Nelson. We make up songs and other bits, record them, send them to the other one to finish, then meet online to record some scenes. And yes... there will be crossbows.
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Franchise
Two brothers come into a large fortune and promptly open up their own McDonald's franchise, but will their lack of business acumen sink the venture before it even gets afloat?
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Suburbs
The Suburbs: the most dreaded frontier of the modern age. In this ruthless, action-packed episode, terrorists begin their hostile takeover of the a neighborhood, only to get sidetracked with second jobs and malfunctioning security robots. Also at some point the episode just becomes about pizza. Sorry about that.
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Monarchy
Royal family drama ensues in this shocking new episode of Crossbows! Follow the adventures of Rutherford, Bea, and Hayes as they navigate a shifting monarchy after the death of the king.
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Choir
Two poor saps kicked out of their choir on the same day face entirely different destinies after they try to salvage their careers at the local jazz club open mic night.
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Contradictions
A young boy questions his faith in a provocative episode that quickly spirals out of control and becomes about Tilda Swinton.
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Bugs
When a child is forced to wear an unusual Halloween costume by their parent, all hell breaks loose in a town infested by entomologists.
Customer Reviews
Who greenlit this?
Who knew you could pack so much moronity in one podcast? These clowns may try to pass themselves off as professors of fine art at Brandeis but we aren’t fooled. I mean, Arcadia’s the First was a weak ruler? They’re full of baloney.
Then there’s that long-winded diatribe about the Holy Roman Empire that never reaches a conclusion.
And then the cooking segment. My god is it dull. This John went on for hours about dusting huckleberries with confectioners sugar. I mean, who doesn’t??
And then the quiz show at the end just seals the deal.
Plus, I was the twelfth caller and I have yet to receive my Foreigner tickets.
So, um, yeah. Keep your hands off my beer.
Amazing
So glad these talented folks took the last 6 years to really fine tune this amazing show. The work that they have put into this show has really been worth the hiatus.
Do yourselves a favor and find somewhere to download the other 39 episodes, and binge listen to this as soon as possible.