Not Your Average Counsellor

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Welcome to ”Not Your Average Counsellor,” hosted by Vee Vinci, a Mental Health Wellness Expert and Registered Relationship and Family Therapist. Here, Vee takes you on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth, delving deep into the challenges of personal and relationship dynamics, helping you understand the reasons behind your thoughts and actions, and empowering you to create a more fulfilling life. Vee’s approach is refreshingly straightforward and effective. Tune in to her candid, deep, yet humorous conversations covering various important topics, including Navigating Well-Meaning Meddlers, Preventing Burnout, Breaking Free from Negative Thought Patterns, Coping with Trust Issues, Mastering Communication, Fostering Intimacy, and much more. If you’re looking for valuable insights, practical advice, and a new perspective to improve your relationship with yourself and others, ”Not Your Average Counsellor” is the podcast for you. Join Vee on this transformative journey, one episode at a time.

  1. 6D AGO

    🔍 Should You Investigate Your Partner’s Dating History Online Before Getting Serious?

    We live in a digital world where a few clicks can reveal almost anything about someone’s past. But just because it’s easy to look up your partner’s dating history online, does that mean you should? This episode explores the tricky space between healthy curiosity, mistrust, and crossing personal boundaries. When does digging for information become a sign of insecurity or control? Let’s unpack what it means to trust—and how curiosity can sometimes get in the way.   Inside This Episode: 📱 The modern dating dilemma. It’s tempting to check old profiles, tagged photos, or past connections. But are we seeking information—or emotional certainty? 🧠 Understanding the motivation. Fear of betrayal, a need for control, insecurity, or past heartbreaks often fuel the urge to investigate. 🔍 What you might find—and how it affects you. People change, mature, and their online pasts don’t always tell the full story. Finding confronting things can stir up feelings and distort reality. ⚖️ Trust vs. transparency. Does real trust come from what you uncover, or how you communicate? Digital digging can build mistrust before the relationship truly begins. 🚫 Ethical boundaries in the digital age. Where do we draw the line between public info and snooping? How is this different from invading private messages or diaries? 💭 The illusion of safety. Looking for answers online can actually fuel anxiety rather than ease it, feeding the very insecurities we want to calm. 🚩 When curiosity becomes a red flag. Repeated checking or “verifying” everything can signal deeper trust or attachment issues. 🗣️ Healthy curiosity and honest conversation. It’s natural to want to know your partner’s history—but open conversations build trust better than covert searching. 🤫 If you’ve already looked. How to approach this honestly and use it as a chance for self-reflection and deeper connection, not shame.   💬 Let’s Keep This Conversation Going! Have you ever felt tempted to check up on your partner’s past? Or found yourself on the receiving end of it? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Send me a message, share this episode with someone navigating trust in the digital age, or jump into the discussion on socials. Remember—trust is built through conversation, not investigation. 💛

    18 min

  2. MAR 30

    🤔 Is It Fair to Make Major Life Decisions Without Consulting Your Partner?

    Independence feels good—and it’s an important part of who we are. But where’s the line between personal freedom and partnership? What happens when one person makes a big decision—like moving cities, changing jobs, or starting therapy—without checking in first? Is it confidence, self-trust, or avoidance? And when does it slip into disrespect? This episode digs into the tricky balance between autonomy and connection in relationships.   Inside This Episode: ⚖️ Why this question feels so messy. Relationships juggle independence and togetherness—and sometimes it’s hard to know where one ends and the other begins. 💡 What counts as a major life decision? Moving, quitting work, taking on debt, or health choices—what usually needs a conversation, and what falls into “personal” territory? 💔 The sting of being left out. How exclusion from big calls can trigger feelings of shock, betrayal, or mistrust—and shake the sense of partnership. 🔍 Intent vs. effect. Maybe it’s to avoid conflict or assert independence—but intentions don’t erase the emotional impact. 🚪 When independence turns into isolation. How pride, fear, or control can create distance when someone decides to “handle it alone.” 🤝 What healthy partnership really looks like. It’s not about permission—it’s about respect, inclusion, and sharing influence. ⚖️ Gender and power dynamics at play. Social norms shape who feels entitled to decide—and how emotional labour affects these patterns. 🗣️ Repairing after the fact. How to own the choice, take accountability, and open a conversation without defensiveness. 🌱 Building a culture of shared decisions. Tips for defining what joint decision-making means for your relationship—and tools to stay connected through big choices.   💬 Let’s Keep This Conversation Going! Have you ever felt left out of a major decision? Or made a big call on your own and wondered how it landed? I’d love to hear your stories and thoughts. Drop me a message, share this episode with someone navigating this balance, or jump into the conversation on socials. Remember—partnership is about honouring the we alongside the me. 💛

    16 min

  3. MAR 16

    🤲 When Does “Helping” Your Partner Become Controlling Their Life?

    We like to think we’re just being supportive, loving, and helpful. But sometimes, that “help” can cross a line—slowly shifting into control without us even realising. This episode explores how caring can turn into managing or micromanaging, and what it truly means to support someone while respecting their autonomy.   Inside This Episode: ⚖️ The fine line between support and control. What healthy helping looks like—and when it becomes intrusive. Are you truly helping them, or just making yourself feel better? 🧠 Why we overhelp. Fear, anxiety, trauma, perfectionism, or needing to feel useful can push us to take charge. 🛑 Common ways help becomes control. Unsolicited advice, making decisions “for their own good,” managing schedules or finances without involvement, criticising choices as “concern,” or saying “I know what’s best for you.” 😣 How this impacts your partner. Feeling disempowered, resentful, or infantilised—losing personal agency often leads to withdrawal or conflict. 📌 Intent vs. impact. Meaning well doesn’t always feel that way to the other person. ❤️‍🩹 Control disguised as love. “I just worry about you” and “If I don’t do it, you won’t” often hide fear and power struggles. 🔍 Why it’s so hard to see. Denial, defensiveness, and blind spots make it tricky to recognise controlling behaviour when you think you’re “doing the right thing.” ❓ Questions to reflect on. Am I respecting their right to make mistakes? Do I get anxious when things don’t go my way? Does my help come with expectations or guilt? 🚩 Red flags vs. green flags. Red: Feeling angry or anxious when they don’t follow your suggestions. Green: Offering support, stepping back, and trusting their choices—even if you disagree. 🤝 Building interdependence, not control. Shifting from managing to partnering by asking “How can I support you?” instead of “Here’s what you need to do.”   💬 Let’s Keep This Conversation Going! Have you noticed your “help” turning into control? Or felt controlled by a partner who meant well? It’s a tough balance but an important one. Message me, share your story, or pass this episode on to someone navigating this delicate line. Remember—sometimes, love means letting go. 💛

    22 min

  4. MAR 2

    🎙️ Is It Manipulative to Use Your Partner’s Insecurities to Win Arguments?

    When we’re close to someone, we get to know their fears, their history, the places that feel a little tender. And in the heat of conflict, it can be tempting to use that knowledge to land a point—or to “win.” But when does emotional awareness cross the line into emotional manipulation? And what does it actually mean to argue with care for the relationship, not just the outcome?   Inside This Episode: 💔 The moment conflict turns personal. How knowing your partner deeply can become a weapon in arguments—sometimes without realising it. 🧠 Why people do this. Power struggles, self-protection, fear of losing the upper hand—what sits underneath these behaviours. ⚖️ Intent vs. impact. You may not mean to harm your partner—but the emotional impact can still land deeply. 🧍‍♀️🧍 Real-life examples you’ll recognise. “You only react like that because of your childhood.” “You’re just insecure.” Why these phrases cut beneath the surface. 🏚️ The cost of “winning.” Using someone’s vulnerability in an argument may win the moment—but it damages emotional safety long-term. 🪞 Looking at your own patterns. How to notice if you slip into this in conflict—and what’s driving it. 🤝 Conflict that’s respectful, not perfect. Setting boundaries around what’s off-limits, even in heated moments. 🔧 Practical tools for arguing better. Taking a pause, naming your triggers, using “I” statements, and choosing repair over victory. 🚩 When the dynamic becomes harmful. Understanding when this is part of a bigger pattern of emotional control or coercion.   ----more---- 💬 Let’s Keep This Conversation Going! Have you ever walked away from an argument and realised you hit below the belt? Or felt like your partner used something vulnerable against you? You’re not alone—and recognising it is the starting point for change. I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences—send me a message, share the episode with someone who might need it, or join the conversation on socials. Until next time—take care of each other. 💛

    18 min

  5. FEB 16

    💭 Should You Stay with Someone Who Refuses to Work on Their Mental Health?

    Here’s the truth: you can love someone deeply and still be exhausted by the weight of their unaddressed struggles. When a partner refuses to seek support, it doesn’t just impact them—it impacts you, the relationship, and your sense of safety and stability. So how do you know when staying is supportive… and when it’s slowly eroding your own wellbeing? This episode dives into the emotional tug-of-war between loyalty, love, limits, and self-preservation.   Inside This Episode: 💔 When love meets reality. The painful tension of watching someone you love struggle—and watching them avoid the help they need. 😔 Why people resist getting support. Shame, fear, stigma, denial, overwhelm… most avoidance isn’t laziness, it’s self-protection. ⚖️ Can’t vs. won’t. The difference between genuine barriers to getting help and choosing not to engage out of minimisation or stubbornness. 🧍‍♀️🧍 The emotional toll on you. Frustration, resentment, burnout, and slipping into the role of carer instead of partner. 🏚️ How it affects the relationship. Communication, intimacy, conflict, future planning—even parenting—can all suffer when one person refuses to grow. 🪞 What you’re actually responsible for. The line between compassion and self-sacrifice… and the moment helping turns into carrying. 💡 When loving them starts hurting you. Noticing the signs of your own emotional fatigue: anxiety, irritability, withdrawal, losing yourself. 🔧 Boundaries vs. ultimatums. How to set limits that protect you without trying to control their mental health journey. 🚪 Making the hardest decision. If nothing changes, should you stay? Exploring values, limits, hopes, and the real impact on your life. 🛋️ Getting support for yourself. Why therapy or external support can help you find clarity, steadiness, and your own voice again.   💬 Let’s Keep This Conversation Going! Have you ever loved someone who refused to face their mental health struggles? Or found yourself carrying more than your fair share in the relationship? Your experience matters—and you’re not alone. Send me a message, share your story, or pass this episode on to someone who might need these words today. Until next time—remember, caring for yourself is not abandonment. It’s essential. 💛

    22 min

  6. 12/22/2025

    🧠 Can Relationship Problems Be Caused by Mental Health Issues?

    Let’s be real—love doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Our mental health impacts how we connect, communicate, and cope in relationships. So, what happens when one (or both) partners are struggling? Can anxiety, depression or past trauma actually create relationship issues? And more importantly—what can we do about it? ----more---- Inside This Episode: 💔 When mental health shows up in love. From emotional withdrawal to overthinking every message—how personal struggles can quietly shape relationship dynamics. 😔 Depression, anxiety, trauma & more. We’re breaking down how common mental health challenges impact connection, trust, and emotional availability. ⚠️ Red flags to watch for: Misunderstandings. Emotional distance. Constant conflict. If your relationship feels heavier than usual—this could be why. 🧍‍♀️🧍 Support vs. self-sacrifice. You can be compassionate without being consumed. Let’s talk about healthy support without enabling toxic patterns. 🗣️ Communicating through it. How to express your needs, support your partner, and have honest convos about mental health—without blame or shame. 🚪When they won’t acknowledge the problem. How to set boundaries, care for yourself, and know when it’s time to step back or seek professional help. 🛋️ Therapy is your friend. Why counselling (individually or together) can be a game-changer—and how to nudge a partner toward support without pressure. 🧘 Self-care matters—yours too. Supporting someone else’s mental health doesn’t mean forgetting your own. 💡 When love isn’t enough. If their struggles are draining you, it’s okay to ask: is this relationship helping or hurting us both? ----more---- 💬 Let’s Keep This Conversation Going! Have you been in a relationship affected by mental health challenges—yours or your partner’s? I’d love to hear your perspective. Slide into my DMs, drop a comment, or shoot me an email. And if this episode helped shed some light on what you (or someone you love) might be navigating—send it their way. Until next time, be kind to yourself and those around you. 💛

    19 min

  7. 12/15/2025

    💬 When Does a Relationship Become Exclusive?

    You’re spending most of your time together, texting good morning and goodnight, and maybe even leaving a toothbrush at their place—but are you exclusive? In today’s dating world, exclusivity isn't always a given—so let’s talk about how to know where you stand, and why it’s better to talk than assume. Inside This Episode: 📅 Old-school vs. now. Back in the day, exclusivity was expected. Now? It’s a whole conversation. 🚩 Why assuming can backfire. Just because it feels serious doesn’t mean you’re both on the same page. 🗣️ Having the talk. When and how to ask, “Are we exclusive?” without sounding needy or awkward. 🆚 Unspoken vibes vs. spoken clarity. Why you might need more than “It just feels like we are.” 📱 Social media confusion. Does a post = commitment? Or is that just for show? ⏳ Waiting for clarity. How long is too long to wonder where you stand? 🔐 Exclusive ≠ official. What’s the difference between being exclusive and being in a committed relationship? 💭 Bottom line: every relationship is different—but guessing isn’t the same as knowing. ----more---- ❤️ Let’s Keep This Conversation Going! Have you had the exclusivity talk—or been caught off guard when you realised you weren’t exclusive after all? I want to hear your story. DM me, email me, or drop your thoughts on socials. If this episode gave you a little clarity (or a nudge to have that conversation), share it with someone who's wondering the same thing. Until next time—trust your gut, ask the questions, and never be afraid to seek clarity.

    17 min

  8. 12/08/2025

    🎭 What Are the Signs That a Partner Is Manipulative?

    💭 Ever walked away from a conversation feeling confused, guilty, or like you’re the problem—even when you know you're not? In this episode, we’re naming what’s often hard to see: manipulation. Whether it’s subtle or straight-up toxic, let’s unpack the signs—and what to do if it’s showing up in your relationship. ----more---- Inside This Episode: 🚩 Spotting the early red flags—love-bombing, fast attachment, or emotional withdrawal that feels... off. 💬 Classic manipulation tactics: Guilt-tripping for setting boundaries. Gaslighting your reality. Silent treatment as punishment. Playing the victim when called out. Twisting conversations to make you the villain. Giving love conditionally—only when you behave a certain way. 🧠 Where it comes from. Is it intentional control—or learned behaviour from insecurity, trauma or childhood dynamics? 😓 The emotional toll. How manipulation chips away at your confidence, sense of self, and emotional safety. 🛑 How to respond. Trust your gut. Name what’s happening. Set boundaries—and hold them. 🧱 Can they change? Only if they’re willing to do the work. And not everyone is. 🚪 When it’s time to leave. Repeated manipulation is not a phase—it’s a pattern. And you deserve better. ----more---- 💬 Let’s Keep This Conversation Going! Have you experienced manipulation in a relationship—or only realised it in hindsight? I want to hear from you. Share your story with me on socials, via email, or in a DM. If this episode hit home, send it to someone who might be questioning the same things. Until next time—stay strong, trust yourself, and never shrink to keep someone comfortable. 💛

    19 min
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About

Welcome to ”Not Your Average Counsellor,” hosted by Vee Vinci, a Mental Health Wellness Expert and Registered Relationship and Family Therapist. Here, Vee takes you on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth, delving deep into the challenges of personal and relationship dynamics, helping you understand the reasons behind your thoughts and actions, and empowering you to create a more fulfilling life. Vee’s approach is refreshingly straightforward and effective. Tune in to her candid, deep, yet humorous conversations covering various important topics, including Navigating Well-Meaning Meddlers, Preventing Burnout, Breaking Free from Negative Thought Patterns, Coping with Trust Issues, Mastering Communication, Fostering Intimacy, and much more. If you’re looking for valuable insights, practical advice, and a new perspective to improve your relationship with yourself and others, ”Not Your Average Counsellor” is the podcast for you. Join Vee on this transformative journey, one episode at a time.

Information

  • Creator
    HQCS
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2026
  • Episodes
    100
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2020 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    Not Your Average Counsellor

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