This Complex Life

Marie Vakakis

Got questions about parenting, teenagers, or relationships? Ever wonder why your teen won’t talk to you, or why your relationship feels like hard work lately? Hi, I’m Marie Vakakis—a therapist, mental health educator, and someone who’s been behind the scenes with countless families and couples navigating the ups and downs of real life. This Complex Life is your go-to for relatable insights, practical advice, and real talk about parenting, raising teenagers, and navigating relationships. I’ll share what I’ve learned from years of sitting in the therapist’s chair—helping parents understand their teens, supporting couples through tough times, and figuring out what actually works when life feels overwhelming. Whether it’s understanding your teen’s moods, handling family drama, or reconnecting in your relationship, I’m here to give you practical advice, relatable insights and a little humour to keep it real. Parenting and relationships aren’t easy, but they don’t have to feel impossible. Subscribe to This Complex Life for honest advice and actionable tips to make life’s messiness more manageable.

  1. Is Your Wounded Child Ruining Your Relationship?

    1 NGÀY TRƯỚC

    Is Your Wounded Child Ruining Your Relationship?

    Have you ever had a reaction to your partner that felt huge? Like a ten out of ten response to something small? You are crying over coffee. They are confused. You are both thinking, what just happened? It makes sense that this feels confusing. Most couples are not fighting about the present moment. They are reacting from something older. In this episode, I explore how your wounded child shows up in adult relationships, why conflict can feel bigger than the situation and how attachment patterns keep couples stuck in the same loop. This is not about blame. It is about understanding the pattern. In this episode I cover:• Why small arguments turn into big emotional reactions • How childhood needs for safety, soothing and validation shape adult conflict • What anxious and avoidant attachment can look like in a fight • Why you get louder and they shut down • What secure conflict actually feels like • Practical steps to pause, name your needs and respond rather than react You are not broken for reacting strongly. There is nothing wrong with you for feeling that. Often, if it feels hysterical, it is historical. The goal is not to erase your wounds. The goal is to make sure they are not driving your adult intimacy. Resources: If you want more support, download the Conflict Guide and start noticing your patterns with compassion and clarity. https://marievakakis.com.au/why-couples-keep-arguing-and-what-its-really-aboutand-what-its-really-about/ ENROL NOW Relationship New Year RESET 2026 https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/ Submit a question to the Podcast https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

    12 phút
  2. Attachment Styles in Conflict: Breaking the Cycle

    9 THG 2

    Attachment Styles in Conflict: Breaking the Cycle

    If you keep having the same argument with your partner, it might not be about the topic at all. Often, it is not about the dishes, the plans for the weekend, or who forgot to call back. How you fight, well, that could be based on your attachment style. In this episode, I’ll explore how anxious and avoidant attachment styles show up during conflict and why they can create painful cycles that feel impossible to escape.I’ll share what I see as a couples therapist and what you can do about it. Conflict with a partner activates something deep in our nervous system. Suddenly, we are not calm, rational adults. We are reacting to old attachment wounds. One person escalates, the other withdraws, and before long, the original issue is forgotten while the emotional storm takes over. In this episode I’ll explain how these patterns form, why they make sense from an attachment perspective, and most importantly, how couples can begin to break the cycle. In this episode you will learn: • Why couples repeat the same arguments over and over • How anxious and avoidant attachment styles trigger each other • What happens in the nervous system during relationship conflict • Why silence can feel dangerous for one partner and safe for the other • The difference between taking a break and stonewalling • How to communicate needs clearly during heated moments • Practical scripts to help repair after conflict • Why repair is more important than getting it right Resources mentioned: Working with conflict course: https://marievakakis.com.au/working-with-conflict-in-couples-therapy/ Download guide: https://marievakakis.com.au/why-couples-keep-arguing-and-what-its-really-aboutand-what-its-really-about/ Couples therapy sessions at The Therapy Hub If this episode resonates, share it with your partner or a friend and start the conversation. ENROL NOW Relationship New Year RESET 2026 https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/https://marievakakis.com.au/https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/ Submit a question to the Podcast https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

    12 phút
  3. I Got a Promotion and My Partner Isn’t Happy for Me

    20 THG 1

    I Got a Promotion and My Partner Isn’t Happy for Me

    Sharing good news with your partner should feel connecting. Yet for many people, moments of success can quickly turn into hurt or tension when the response feels flat, awkward, or dismissive. In this episode, I respond to a listener question about getting a promotion and feeling unsupported by their partner. I unpack three common reasons this happens and what is often going on underneath the surface. This is not about someone being uncaring or selfish. It is about different emotional languages, family histories, and unspoken fears colliding in the same moment. What this episode explores Why celebrations matter differently to different peopleHow family culture shapes responses to successWhy promotions can trigger shame, fear, or disconnectionHow money and identity influence reactionsWhat to say when a moment goes wrong and how to slow the conversation down When good news turns into conflict, it is rarely about the achievement itself. It is about meaning, expectations, and what has not yet been said. ENROL NOW Relationship New Year RESET 2026 https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/ Submit a question to the Podcast https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode: Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

    20 phút
  4. Why Won’t My Partner Communicate With Me

    6 THG 1

    Why Won’t My Partner Communicate With Me

    Why won’t my partner communicate with me It’s one of the most common questions I hear in the therapy room and it’s usually coming from someone who feels shut out, unheard or like they’re carrying the emotional load on their own. In this episode of This Complex Life, I’ll share what’s often really going on when communication feels blocked, when you keep fighting or arguing. Because most of the time, it’s not about a lack of words. It’s about emotional safety, overwhelm and patterns that quietly shut conversations down. I talk about emotional flooding, the communication patterns that make things worse instead of better, and how the way conversations start can set them up to fail before they even begin. I also explore how what we learned about conflict growing up still shapes how we show up in our relationships today. You’ll also hear practical questions you can ask that invite reflection instead of defensiveness, and small shifts that can help you feel more connected without escalating into another fight. In this episode, we explore Why communication problems are rarely just about talkingEmotional flooding and shutdown and why it feels impossible to stay presentThe Gottman Four Horsemen and how they show up in everyday conversationsHow criticism, defensiveness and stonewalling block connectionWhy timing and tone matter more than being rightHow family of origin shapes your comfort with conflictQuestions that help you understand each other instead of escalating If you’ve ever thought we just don’t communicate anymore, this episode is for you. ENROL NOW Relationship New Year RESET 2026 https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/ Submit a question to the Podcast https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode: Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

    20 phút
  5. Soulmates Or More Like Roommates?

    22/12/2025

    Soulmates Or More Like Roommates?

    Do you want to feel closer to your partner, but feel unsure how to bring it up? Many couples care deeply about each other and still drift apart. Life gets busy. Conversations become practical. Emotional connection fades quietly. Not because people stop trying, but because the harder conversations get avoided. In this episode, I talk about why relationships drift even when there is love and good intention. I explore why low conflict is often mistaken for connection, and why avoiding check ins can slowly create distance. I also share three simple questions I use with couples that help change the tone of conversations. These questions focus on understanding rather than blame and can be used straight away. If you are feeling disconnected and do not know where to start, this episode offers a calm and practical place to begin. In this episodeWhy couples drift without realising itWhy love alone is not enough to stay connectedHow avoidance shows up in well intentioned relationshipsThree questions that help couples check in and reconnect ENROL NOW Relationship New Year RESET 2026 https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/ Submit a question to the Podcast https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode: Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

    17 phút
  6. They Should Just Know and Other Ways Relationships Get Hard

    15/12/2025

    They Should Just Know and Other Ways Relationships Get Hard

    Have you ever found yourself thinking my partner is not the same person I fell in love with. Maybe you still care deeply but something feels off. Conversations go in circles. You keep fighting about the same things Or you feel lonely even though you are still together. This is a pattern I see often in my work as a couples therapist. Most couples want the same things. Connection. Safety. Feeling valued. Where they get stuck is in how they try to get there. In this episode of This Complex Life, I walk you through five common patterns that show up when couples feel disconnected over time.  This is not about fixing your partner. It is about understanding what is actually happening underneath the surface when two people who care start missing each other. Feeling disconnected does not automatically mean you have outgrown each other or chosen the wrong person. Often it means the relationship has not been updated to match how life and people have changed. In this episode, I share the 5 common mistakes I see people make.  • Why relationships can feel harder as life gets fuller • How unmet expectations quietly create distance • What happens when both people are trying but still missing each other • Why assuming they should just know leads to resentment • How criticism and contempt creep in without you noticing If you are feeling stuck, confused, or wondering what happened to the closeness you once had, you are not alone in this. Some of this is uncomfortable and that is okay.  Understanding the pattern is often the first step towards repair. Tired of going round in circles with your partner? Relationship Refresh is a practical couples program that helps you stop the blame game, communicate better and feel like a team again. 👉 marievakakis.com.au/for-couples If things feel more stuck and you need deeper support, you can book an Intensive Couples Therapy session with me through The Therapy Hub 👉 thetherapyhub.com.au Struggling to talk about sex, desire or intimacy without it getting weird or shutting down? Download my free guide How to talk about sex, desire and connection: https://mailchi.mp/marievakakis/a-guide-to-talking-about-sex-and-intimacy Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/ Submit a question to the Podcast https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode: Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

    21 phút
  7. Is This Anxiety or Is My Brain Just Freaking Out

    08/12/2025

    Is This Anxiety or Is My Brain Just Freaking Out

    Anxiety can feel confusing and overwhelming, especially when your brain reacts faster than you can make sense of it. In this episode, I talk with Dr Jodi Richardson about the difference between everyday stress, overwhelming worry and anxiety that needs more support. We explore why anxiety shows up in the body, why discomfort often feels unsafe and how childhood patterns can affect the way we manage emotions as adults. Jodi shares practical, compassionate ways to understand your anxiety and feel more grounded when your mind starts spiralling. In this episode we cover: • The difference between stress, overwhelm and anxiety • Why anxiety activates the stress response • How childhood emotional patterns shape anxiety • Why discomfort often feels dangerous • What helps when anxiety feels big • How to support someone with anxiety without fixing • When to seek professional help Your brain is not broken. It is responding to something that feels uncertain or overwhelming, and you can support it in ways that actually work. Connect with Dr Jodi Richardson: https://drjodirichardson.com.au/  Resources: 📕Daily Stoic Well Hello Anxiety Podcast Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/ Submit a question to the Podcast https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode: Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

    42 phút
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Giới Thiệu

Got questions about parenting, teenagers, or relationships? Ever wonder why your teen won’t talk to you, or why your relationship feels like hard work lately? Hi, I’m Marie Vakakis—a therapist, mental health educator, and someone who’s been behind the scenes with countless families and couples navigating the ups and downs of real life. This Complex Life is your go-to for relatable insights, practical advice, and real talk about parenting, raising teenagers, and navigating relationships. I’ll share what I’ve learned from years of sitting in the therapist’s chair—helping parents understand their teens, supporting couples through tough times, and figuring out what actually works when life feels overwhelming. Whether it’s understanding your teen’s moods, handling family drama, or reconnecting in your relationship, I’m here to give you practical advice, relatable insights and a little humour to keep it real. Parenting and relationships aren’t easy, but they don’t have to feel impossible. Subscribe to This Complex Life for honest advice and actionable tips to make life’s messiness more manageable.

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