This Is Insanity

Jonathan Solomon
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Some albums are made to be heard. This one was made to be survived and felt. This Is Insanity is a 17-episode limited series where Jonathan Solomon goes track by track through his album “Allegory Of Insanity” — unpacking the faith, the tension, and the internal war that made each song necessary. The album is about being a Christian who struggles with sexual attraction. The podcast is about everything that didn't fit in the lyrics. No easy answers. Just one person's honest conversation with God, with himself, and now — with you. New episodes dropping twice a week.

Tập

  1. 1 ngày trước

    Fool's Errand Pt. 2 (with Cammie Hodge and Hezekiah Cunningham-Bey)

    In this episode of This Is Insanity, we unpack “Fool’s Errand” — a song about the voices from the past that never seem to stop calling your name. Even after choosing to follow Christ, the past has a way of lingering. Old desires. Old memories. Old ways of thinking. They don't simply disappear; they become like a ghost that follows you, whispering that resistance is pointless, that you're fighting a battle you'll never win, and that you might as well give in. This episode explores the exhausting nature of temptation when it feels less like a single moment and more like a constant companion. We talk about the lies our past tells us, the stories we replay in our minds, and the subtle ways despair can masquerade as realism. “Fool’s Errand” asks a difficult question: What if the greatest battle isn't against temptation itself, but against the belief that faithfulness is a fool's errand? That obedience is wasted effort? That holiness is impossible? Join us as we discuss memory, temptation, perseverance, and the hope that our past may be loud, but it doesn't have the final word. Even when the ghost keeps following, Christ continues to call us forward.

    1 giờ 1 phút

  2. 4 ngày trước

    Fool's Errand Pt. 1 (with Cammie Hodge and Hezekiah Cunningham-Bey)

    In this episode of This Is Insanity, we unpack “Fool’s Errand” — a song about the voices from the past that never seem to stop calling your name. Even after choosing to follow Christ, the past has a way of lingering. Old desires. Old memories. Old ways of thinking. They don't simply disappear; they become like a ghost that follows you, whispering that resistance is pointless, that you're fighting a battle you'll never win, and that you might as well give in. This episode explores the exhausting nature of temptation when it feels less like a single moment and more like a constant companion. We talk about the lies our past tells us, the stories we replay in our minds, and the subtle ways despair can masquerade as realism. “Fool’s Errand” asks a difficult question: What if the greatest battle isn't against temptation itself, but against the belief that faithfulness is a fool's errand? That obedience is wasted effort? That holiness is impossible? Join us as we discuss memory, temptation, perseverance, and the hope that our past may be loud, but it doesn't have the final word. Even when the ghost keeps following, Christ continues to call us forward.

    43 phút

  3. 26 thg 6

    Aint Good Enough Pt. 2 (with Cammie Hodge and Hezekiah Cunningham-Bey)

    In this episode of This Is Insanity, we unpack “Ain’t Good Enough” — the most emotionally vulnerable song on the album. For years, I wondered what would happen if I stopped fighting. If I gave myself permission to pursue everything I had spent so much energy resisting. Would I finally feel free? Would I finally feel understood? Would the ache go away? In this song, I follow that imagination as far as it can go. I imagine getting what I thought I wanted. The relationship. The acceptance. The intimacy. The life I sometimes convinced myself would finally make everything make sense. But at the end of the thought experiment, I find myself confronted by a difficult reality: what if the deepest hunger underneath all of those desires remains untouched? This episode explores the difference between desire and fulfillment. Between getting what we want and finding what we need. It wrestles with the uncomfortable possibility that no person, relationship, achievement, or experience can carry the weight of our deepest longings. “Ain’t Good Enough” is not a song about having all the answers. It's a song about exhausting every fantasy of rescue and finding that the human heart still asks for more. It's about grief, honesty, longing, and the terrifying realization that the thing you've spent years believing would satisfy you might not be enough after all. Join us as we discuss desire, disappointment, identity, and the search for fulfillment that reaches deeper than our strongest longings.

    55 phút

  4. 23 thg 6

    Aint Good Enough Pt. 1 (with Cammie Hodge and Hezekiah Cunningham-Bey)

    In this episode of This Is Insanity, we unpack “Ain’t Good Enough” — the most emotionally vulnerable song on the album. For years, I wondered what would happen if I stopped fighting. If I gave myself permission to pursue everything I had spent so much energy resisting. Would I finally feel free? Would I finally feel understood? Would the ache go away? In this song, I follow that imagination as far as it can go. I imagine getting what I thought I wanted. The relationship. The acceptance. The intimacy. The life I sometimes convinced myself would finally make everything make sense. But at the end of the thought experiment, I find myself confronted by a difficult reality: what if the deepest hunger underneath all of those desires remains untouched? This episode explores the difference between desire and fulfillment. Between getting what we want and finding what we need. It wrestles with the uncomfortable possibility that no person, relationship, achievement, or experience can carry the weight of our deepest longings. “Ain’t Good Enough” is not a song about having all the answers. It's a song about exhausting every fantasy of rescue and finding that the human heart still asks for more. It's about grief, honesty, longing, and the terrifying realization that the thing you've spent years believing would satisfy you might not be enough after all. Join us as we discuss desire, disappointment, identity, and the search for fulfillment that reaches deeper than our strongest longings.

    53 phút

  5. 19 thg 6

    Is This Your King? (with Hezekiah Cunningham-Bey)

    In this episode of This Is Insanity, we unpack “Is This Your King?” — a song born from the disappointment that comes when God doesn't seem to save us the way we expected. Many people in Israel longed for a Messiah who would overthrow Rome, restore their nation, and usher in immediate victory. Instead, Jesus arrived in humility, spoke of suffering, and died on a cross. For many, He looked nothing like the Savior they had imagined. This episode explores a similar tension in my own story. As a Christian wrestling with same-sex attraction, I believed that following Jesus would eventually mean the struggle would disappear. I expected freedom to look like the absence of temptation. I expected God to change me in a particular way and on a particular timeline. But what happens when He doesn't? What happens when Jesus is faithful, but His faithfulness doesn't look like what we asked for? When He remains present, yet the thorn remains? When the King arrives, but not in the form we wanted? “Is This Your King?” wrestles with the painful gap between expectation and reality. It's about learning to trust Christ when He refuses to fit our preferred script. It's about the temptation to question His goodness when He doesn't remove our struggles. And it's about discovering that Jesus may still be a better King than the one we were hoping for. Join us as we discuss disappointment, expectations, unanswered prayers, and the surprising ways Christ proves Himself faithful even when He doesn't give us the story we thought we needed.

    1 giờ 6 phút

  6. 16 thg 6

    Fairy Tale (Part 2) [with Cammie Hodge and Hezekiah Cunningham-Bey]

    In this episode of This Is Insanity, Jonathan, Cammie, and Hez finish unpacking “Fairy Tale” — a song about the stories we tell ourselves when longing becomes louder than conviction. After wrestling with temptation for so long, a question begins to emerge: What if the thing I've been resisting is actually the thing that would make me whole? What if stepping into these desires would finally bring peace, intimacy, understanding, and relief? What if the life I've imagined on the other side is everything I've been missing? For someone struggling with same-sex attraction, these questions can feel deeply personal. Not merely sexual, but emotional. Relational. Existential. The temptation isn't always rebellion—it can feel like hope. The hope that another person might finally see you, rescue you, heal your loneliness, and quiet the ache you've carried for years. But what if that's a fairy tale? This conversation explores the tension between the promises we attach to romantic fulfillment and the promises offered by Christ. Can another person truly carry the weight of our deepest needs? Are we longing for a relationship, or are we asking someone to be a savior? And how do we discern the difference when the dream feels so compelling? “Fairy Tale” is about the collision between fantasy and faith. Between the gospel's claim that Christ is enough and the persistent suspicion that happiness might be waiting somewhere else. It's about chasing the question all the way to the end and asking whether the story we're imagining can actually deliver what it promises. Join us as we discuss longing, loneliness, romance, idolatry, and the search for a love that can truly bear the weight of a human soul.

    49 phút

  7. 12 thg 6

    Fairy Tale (Part 1) [with Cammie Hodge and Hezekiah Cunningham-Bey]

    In this episode of This Is Insanity, Jonathan, Cammie, and Hez unpack “Fairy Tale” — a song about the stories we tell ourselves when longing becomes louder than conviction. After wrestling with temptation for so long, a question begins to emerge: What if the thing I've been resisting is actually the thing that would make me whole? What if stepping into these desires would finally bring peace, intimacy, understanding, and relief? What if the life I've imagined on the other side is everything I've been missing? For someone struggling with same-sex attraction, these questions can feel deeply personal. Not merely sexual, but emotional. Relational. Existential. The temptation isn't always rebellion—it can feel like hope. The hope that another person might finally see you, rescue you, heal your loneliness, and quiet the ache you've carried for years. But what if that's a fairy tale? This conversation explores the tension between the promises we attach to romantic fulfillment and the promises offered by Christ. Can another person truly carry the weight of our deepest needs? Are we longing for a relationship, or are we asking someone to be a savior? And how do we discern the difference when the dream feels so compelling? “Fairy Tale” is about the collision between fantasy and faith. Between the gospel's claim that Christ is enough and the persistent suspicion that happiness might be waiting somewhere else. It's about chasing the question all the way to the end and asking whether the story we're imagining can actually deliver what it promises. Join us as we discuss longing, loneliness, romance, idolatry, and the search for a love that can truly bear the weight of a human soul.

    48 phút

  8. 9 thg 6

    There's A Fire (with Cammie Hodge and Hezekiah Cunningham-Bey)

    In this episode of This Is Insanity, we unpack “Fire” — a song about what happens when desire refuses to stop presenting itself in the life of someone who is confused. For many Christians who wrestle with same-sex attraction, the struggle isn't simply knowing what they believe. It's living with desires that don't disappear. Desires that feel powerful, persistent, and, at times, overwhelming. No matter how hard they try to move on, distract themselves, or think about something else, the question keeps returning: What if I just gave in? This conversation explores the exhausting internal debate between faithfulness and fulfillment, obedience and longing. The moments when temptation feels less like a fleeting thought and more like a fire that follows you everywhere you go. The arguments we make to ourselves. The compromises we consider. The promises of relief that seem just within reach. “Fire” isn't about someone who has stopped believing. It's about someone who still believes—and that's exactly what makes the struggle so painful. When your convictions remain firm, but your passions burn bright, where do you run? How do you endure? And what does it look like to trust God when every part of you wants something else?

    1 giờ 12 phút

  9. 5 thg 6

    Dance (with Cameron Hodge and Eric Pruitt)

    In this episode of This Is Insanity, we unpack “Dance” — a song about the confusion of trying to take holiness seriously in a world that constantly sends mixed signals. What happens when churches preach that certain lifestyles are sinful, but never address the leaders, artists, or influential people on platforms who seem to openly live in those same realities? What does that do to the person in the congregation genuinely fighting to be faithful? The person asking hard questions. The person trying to submit their desires to God while watching silence surround everyone else. This conversation wrestles with the tension that creates: the isolation, the second-guessing, and the internal question of, “Am I thinking about this wrong?” If no one addresses it, if everyone acts normal around it, if giftedness and charisma seem to outweigh conviction — what is the struggling believer supposed to do with that? “Dance” explores the emotional and spiritual exhaustion of navigating that ambiguity. Feeling caught between conviction and confusion. Between what is preached publicly and what is quietly tolerated privately. And wondering where honesty, discipleship, and grace actually fit in the middle of all of it.

    1 giờ 7 phút

  10. 2 thg 6

    Never Feel At Home (with Cameron Hodge)

    What does it mean to be a man? Who gets to define it? And how do the environments we grow up in shape the way we see ourselves? In this episode of This Is Insanity, Jonathan Solomon and his guest, Cameron Hodge, continue their deep dive into the album Allegory of Insanity by exploring track four, “Never Feel At Home.” The conversation centers on Jonathan’s experience wrestling with manhood, identity, perception, and the pressure to perform masculinity in ways that left him questioning nearly every part of himself. Together, they unpack how context can distort our understanding of who we are, the broken narratives we inherit, and the ways the Lord patiently redeems and reshapes those perceptions through His grace.

    52 phút

  11. 29 thg 5

    Abomination & What Does It Mean (with Cameron Hodge)

    Jonathan Solomon and his guest, Cameron Hodge, continue their in-depth discussion of the album "Allegory of Insanity." In this episode, they focus on tracks 2 and 3, titled "Abomination" and "What Does It Mean," respectively. These songs explore Jonathan's and Cameron's childhood experiences as they navigated their understanding of sexuality at a young age.

    53 phút

  12. 26 thg 5

    Attempts (with Cameron Hodge)

    Jonathan Solomon and his guest Cameron Hodge, begin the deep dive into his album "Allegory Of Insanity." They are beginning with track 1 and are going into the state of mind of someone who struggles with sexual brokenness in the kingdom of God. Cameron shares some of her own testimony and lets us know why she is so passionate about this particular topic in the church.

    50 phút
  • 12 tập

Giới Thiệu

Some albums are made to be heard. This one was made to be survived and felt. This Is Insanity is a 17-episode limited series where Jonathan Solomon goes track by track through his album “Allegory Of Insanity” — unpacking the faith, the tension, and the internal war that made each song necessary. The album is about being a Christian who struggles with sexual attraction. The podcast is about everything that didn't fit in the lyrics. No easy answers. Just one person's honest conversation with God, with himself, and now — with you. New episodes dropping twice a week.

Thông Tin

  • Nhà sáng tạo
    Jonathan Solomon
  • Năm hoạt động
    2 N
  • Tập
    12
  • Xếp hạng
    Sạch
  • Bản quyền
    © Jonathan Solomon
  • Trang web chương trình
    This Is Insanity

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