Tik-Tokophobia

Alexia Leachman
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  • MENTAL HEALTH
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Unpacking the hidden epidemic of Reproductive Anxiety Disorder — through the lens of tokophobia, fear, and female mental health. This isn't just a podcast about pregnancy and birth fears. It's about the anxiety no one talks about — the kind that wraps itself around your identity, your relationships, your career, your future. And the kind that gets misdiagnosed, dismissed, or missed entirely. Tokophobia — the extreme fear of pregnancy and childbirth — is just the tip of the iceberg. What lies beneath is something bigger: Reproductive Anxiety Disorder (RAD). It's an unrecognised condition that affects millions of women. And most of them don't even know it. So why Tik-Tokophobia? It's a nod to the relentless ticking of the biological clock — that internal panic women feel when society says "it's time" but their nervous system screams "no." This podcast is about what happens in that space. And how we can break free from it. Hosted by Alexia Leachman, world expert on tokophobia, creator of the Head Trash Clearance method, and former sufferer who healed her own fear. Alongside JJ Stenhouse, a veteran broadcaster who lived with tokophobia for over 40 years without knowing it. Together, they explore what unhealed reproductive fear really costs: Anxiety. Depression. OCD. Relationship breakdowns Fertility struggles and ambivalence Creative and sexual shutdown A lifetime of "I don't know what's wrong with me" Through honest conversations, healing insights, and lived experience, this podcast illuminates the two paths of tokophobia: 🔹 Door on the left: healing, clarity, self-trust, and choice 🔹 Door on the right: fear-led decisions, isolation, and emotional shutdown We're here to change the conversation: To show why fear is quietly driving the fertility crisis To challenge the way mental health misunderstands birth trauma To name what women have always felt, but never had language for Whether you're a woman who's lived it, a partner trying to understand, or a professional who wants to do better — this podcast is for you. It's time we gave reproductive anxiety the recognition it deserves. It's time to name it. It's time to heal it. Welcome to Tik-Tokophobia.

Episodes

  1. 07/22/2025

    Navigating Relationships with Tokophobia: From Significant Others to Friends

    What happens when your deepest fear hijacks your most important connections? In this honest and revealing episode of Tik-Tokophobia, Alexia and JJ get real about the ways tokophobia—the severe fear of pregnancy and childbirth—can quietly sabotage both romantic and platonic relationships. From silent avoidance to heartbreak, and from stalled intimacy to friendship breakdowns, this episode shines a compassionate (but bold) light on where reproductive anxiety actually starts pulling the strings in our personal lives. Packed with lived experience and practical insight—not just theory—you'll hear how phobia-fuelled decision-making can shape (and sometimes shatter) relationships, why this fear is so much more than "cold feet about parenthood," and what it actually takes to break the cycle. This one's for anyone who's ever felt "stuck" and wondered: is it me, or is it the fear talking? Key Discussion Points: How tokophobia can silently steer major life decisions and relationship conversations, often without us realising it The heartbreaking reality of marriages and partnerships failing because of unrecognised (and unspoken) fears What happens when the "baby conversation" never happens—and the ripple effect on intimacy, planning, and connection The knock-on impact of tokophobia on friendships—why those with reproductive anxiety often drift from friends starting families Family dynamics, judgement, and the all-too-familiar "But when are you having kids?" pressure The difference between emotional and physical intimacy—and how phobia can quietly block true connection Why it's not a conscious choice: the battle between what you think you want and what fear actually allows What happens when fear, not desire, is in the driver's seat—and the inner "flip-flopping" agony that creates The critical need for early healing and the hope that comes from naming, addressing, and systematically healing tokophobia Reframing tokophobia in the wider context of Reproductive Anxiety Disorder (RAD), with references to ground-breaking resources like The Case for RAD white paper Why healing is possible at any age, but earlier intervention can change lives Who Is This Episode For? This episode is a must-listen if: You constantly feel torn about having children and can't tell if it's fear or simply your true preference You're trapped in relationship avoidance or find your partnerships struggling over "the kids question" You're watching friendships or family connections cool off as everyone else enters parenthood…and you just can't face it (or them) You've ever felt waves of shame, anxiety, or guilt around your place in your relationships, but can't quite explain why You're searching for hope, real talk, and resources to understand what might actually help—not fluffy tips or clinical detachment Whether you want to heal, find understanding, or simply feel less alone, Alexia and JJ offer insight, humour, and an unvarnished look at life with (and beyond) tokophobia. If you suspect fear is making too many calls in your love life—or you're silently aching to be heard—this episode hands you the torch.

    29 min

  2. 07/17/2025

    Tokophobia and Anxiety Disorders: Understanding the Roots with Phobia Specialist Chris

    On this candid episode of Tik-Tokophobia, JJ and Alexia sit down with renowned phobia specialist Christopher Paul Jones (Harley Street, "Face Your Fears" author) for an eye-opening deep dive into what really differentiates fear, phobia, and anxiety — especially when it comes to tokophobia, the often-misunderstood and rarely named terror of pregnancy and childbirth. Together, they break down the myths, name the hidden patterns, and shine a light on why the 'fear of the fear' might be the real root so many professionals (and sufferers) overlook. Christopher brings years of clinical and practical insight—plus a healthy scepticism — to questions that women with tokophobia are often too ashamed or confused to ask out loud. If you've ever wondered why your anxiety feels "different", why so many phobia treatments fall flat, or whether you're secretly harbouring a birth-related fear you can barely name, this episode will feel like a lifeline. What's covered in this episode: The real difference between fear, phobia, and anxiety (and why tokophobia is so much more than "just a fear") How anxiety, trauma, and reproductive experiences like puberty, pregnancy, and birth weave together to shape our deepest anxieties Why so many people don't realise they have tokophobia until they're staring at a pregnancy test — and how society helps keep it invisible The "roots" of these fears: is it one big event, or a whole cluster of experiences? Why looking for a single 'root cause' may keep you stuck The overlap between reproductive anxiety and bite-sized phobias (emetephobia, fear of medical settings, fear of losing control) The hidden shame, guilt, and self-judgement that keep women (and men) silent about reproductive fears—and why naming them changes everything Breakthrough approaches for long-held anxiety: why "if it can be learnt in a split second, it can shift quickly too" Chris's expert take on "phobophobia" — the fear of fear itself — and what to do if you're terrified of your own reactions The bigger message: why naming, voicing, and finding community around tokophobia can be transformative This episode is for you if… You struggle with the fear of pregnancy, childbirth, or anything around the idea of becoming a parent — no matter how "irrational" it feels You've experienced major anxiety or panic when confronted with pregnancy, hospitals, birth stories, or even the pressure of the "biological clock" You're a birthworker, therapist, or health professional wanting real insights into reproductive anxiety and how to talk to clients who feel shut down by fear You're desperate for answers about why therapy hasn't worked, why you "can't get to the root", and what actually helps heal these patterns for good You're not weird, and you're not alone. Join us for a powerfully honest conversation that could finally help you name your fear, understand your story, and take the next brave step towards healing. Find more resources at TikTokophobia.com, and check out our white papers ("Fear Sells (But It Doesn't Serve)" and "The Case for Reproductive Anxiety Disorder") if you want a deeper dive into the research behind these discussions.

    35 min

  3. 07/08/2025

    Navigating the Tokophobia Healing Journey: From Naming the Fear to Making Calm Choices

    Tokophobia Healing Journey — What Real Tokophobia Recovery Really Looks Like Struggling with the fear of pregnancy, birth, or motherhood? You're not alone, and you're definitely not crazy.  In this episode of Tik-Tokophobia, Alexia and JJ dig deep into what the healing journey from tokophobia actually looks like — from the messy first steps to the tough questions nobody wants to ask, all the way to a place of clarity and real choice. Expect honesty, hope, and plenty of "me too!" moments. Key Discussion Points: What sets tokophobia apart from "normal" birth anxiety, and why naming it is the first — and often hardest — step. The different starts of the healing journey: figuring out if your fear is tokophobia, what triggers it, and how self-awareness unfolds for each person. The impact of "the ticking clock": societal, partner, and self-pressure to have children, and how this shapes women's decision-making. How tokophobia shows up in relationships: the strain it places on intimacy, sex, and even decisions about staying together. Stages of the healing process: confronting pregnancy, birth, decisions around trying to conceive, and even the aftermath (including managing disappointment, relief, or ambivalence). Radical honesty about choices: why making decisions about motherhood from a place of fear is so common, and what it takes to move beyond fear into genuine choice. Tokophobia beyond childbirth: exploring how unhealed reproductive fear can limit your creativity, visibility, and overall wellbeing — even after menopause. Why professionals get it wrong: how the lack of medical and therapeutic understanding leaves women unsupported, along with resources to help advocate for yourself. Useful tools and resources: practical steps, including the tokophobia assessment, the Reproductive Anxiety Disorder white paper, and finding therapists trained to help. Who This Episode Is For: If you… Feel anxious — even panicked — at the thought of pregnancy or birth Are stuck between your own fears and what your partner, family, or society expects of you Have put off deciding about children because something deeper holds you back Worry you'll regret your choices or feel you can't access your true feelings Wish you could know what your fear even is, let alone how to heal it Are looking for honest, proof-it-works stories and real solutions — not shallow advice …then this episode is for you. We're here to show you that healing is possible, support is real, and you absolutely deserve a future that isn't dictated by fear. For resources and further support, visit us at the Tik-Tokophobia website for assessments, white papers, and practitioner info. Your clarity starts here.

    30 min

  4. 07/01/2025

    From Two Lines to Collapse: Dilinea and Cass – The Language of Tokophobia

    This episode of Tik-Tokophobia is a truly groundbreaking one. Alexia and JJ make history by naming two central — but until now, unnamed — experiences of living with tokophobia and Reproductive Anxiety Disorder (RAD). If you’ve ever struggled to find the words to describe what it’s actually like to face the gut-punch of a pregnancy test, or the collapse that can follow, you’ll find this conversation both validating and empowering. Drawing on personal stories, client experiences, and a touch of Douglas Adams-inspired word-creation, this episode is about reclaiming language — and with it, our power to heal. Key Discussion Points: • The urgent need for language: why “panic attack” and “burnout” have cultural weight, but tokophobia’s most visceral moments have stayed nameless — until now • The origin of “dilina” and “cass”: how Alexia and JJ developed new words to describe the fork-in-the-road realisation (dilinia) and the breaking, collapse, or gut-punch of reproductive anxiety (cass) • Personal stories: both hosts share their “two lines moment”, the intense emotions that followed, and how not having words made it harder to seek support or even acknowledge what was happening • The power of naming: how putting words to these hidden experiences can help you move out of isolation, seek understanding, and finally begin to heal • The messy reality of reproductive anxiety: why every woman’s journey is different, and why some might only relate to one of these moments — or both • Why tokophobia is nothing like a classic phobia (e.g., spiders, flying) and why the current definitions are failing women • Why creating new language isn’t just a creative exercise — it’s an act of collective validation and community care • Stories from listeners and clients who immediately recognised themselves in “dilinia” and “cass” — proving just how needed this conversation is • A call to share: listeners are invited to talk about their own moments, using these new words, so fewer women feel alone or “broken” This Episode Is For You If… You’ve experienced overwhelming fear or dread of pregnancy, birth, or even the idea of motherhood — and found it impossible to explain to anyone else You’ve ever felt an internal “break” or collapse, but had no words for it You’re a professional, loved one, or partner trying to understand what tokophobia or reproductive anxiety actually feels like from the inside You want real language — not platitudes — to talk about your mental health, advocate for care, or find support You’re craving a sense of normalcy and community; to know that you’re not alone, not “crazy,” and that healing is possible Outcome: By the end of this episode, you’ll have a deeper understanding of what it means to live with reproductive anxiety, two new words (“dilinia” and “cass”) to help you speak about your experience, and a reminder that having language is the first step to healing and support. If you’re tired of feeling unseen, unheard, or misunderstood — this one’s for you. — If this resonates, please share the episode or reach out to us with your dilinia or cass moment. Find more support, free resources, and our foundational white papers (“Fear Sells...” and “The Case for Reproductive Anxiety Disorder”) at www.tik-tokophobia.com

    27 min

  5. 06/24/2025

    Ramona's Discovery and Defeat of Tokophobia

    Is the fear of pregnancy and childbirth taking over your life — or leaving you feeling completely alone and broken? In this episode of Tik-Tokophobia, Alexia sits down with Ramona, a mental health therapist, to lay bare what it's really like to live with tokophobia and find healing on the other side. Ramona unpacks her decade-long journey from silent panic and relationship doubts to finally discovering that her fear has a name— and that overcoming it is possible. Together, they dissect why traditional therapy often falls flat, how body image and control weave through reproductive anxiety, and what it truly means to reclaim power, joy, and self-trust during pregnancy. Key Discussion Points: Ramona's Hidden Struggle: How a therapist herself spent years secretly battling severe anxiety and panic at the thought of pregnancy — without language for what she was going through. Discovery and Diagnosis: The pivotal moment her own therapist unearthed tokophobia, offering instant validation and relief after years of feeling "crazy" and alone. Therapy's Shortcomings: Honest reflections on why common approaches like CBT and exposure therapy didn't fit — and what finally did. Trauma at the Roots: The powerful realisation that deep-seated body image issues and childhood experiences (like the trauma of puberty) were central to her fears. Practical Healing Steps: The blend of Head Trash Clearance, trauma-informed therapy, support groups, and body-positive training that transformed her experience. Reclaiming Pregnancy: How Ramona shifted from dreading pregnancy to embracing and even enjoying it, building genuine confidence for birth. Support Systems That Work: The vital role of specialist support, online communities, and trauma-aware professionals for real, lasting change. Advice for Others: Ramona's top recommendations for anyone suffering with tokophobia — from how to open up, to what kind of help to seek, and why you should never settle for professionals who dismiss you. Rethinking Recovery: Understanding healing as a journey of integration — where possibility and self-trust take centre stage over fear. This episode is for you if: You're paralysed by the thought of pregnancy or birth, or suspect you may have tokophobia (even if you've never heard the word before). You're a therapist, partner, or professional trying to better support someone with reproductive anxiety. You've tried traditional therapy or are sceptical about "just facing your fears" — and need honest talk about what actually works. You're looking for hope, validation, and practical ideas to move forward — not shame or sugar-coating. You want to hear from someone who's lived it: the fear, the relationship strain, the isolation, the healing, and the genuine possibility of overcoming reproductive anxiety. If you're searching for clarity, community, or real pathways through fear — you are absolutely in the right place. Want to dive deeper? Find out more about the Tokophobia Support Program that Ramona used to heal her tokophobia at Fearless-Birthing.com  Check out the white papers Fear Sells (But It Doesn't Serve) and The Case for Reproductive Anxiety Disorder, and explore the RAD Responsible™ initiative for trauma-aware storytelling in birth and mental health spaces.

    55 min

  6. 06/17/2025

    Reproductive Anxiety Disorder Is Real

    In this groundbreaking episode of Tik-Tokophobia, Alexia and JJ introduce a term you've probably never heard before — Reproductive Anxiety Disorder (RAD). Going far beyond the usual discussions of tokophobia, this episode digs deep into the world of persistent, visceral anxiety around anything related to reproduction. Alexia and JJ shine a fierce light on why so many women's experiences are mislabelled, misunderstood, or flat-out ignored — and why having the right language matters. If you've ever felt a hidden panic about pregnancy, birth, or even just being around babies, this episode will help you realise: you are not broken, just unheard — until now. Key Discussion Points: Why "Reproductive Anxiety Disorder"? – What RAD is, why it needed a name, and how it's different from a simple "phobia" of birth. Not Just in Your Head: – RAD is a full nervous system experience, not just a matter of "thinking differently" about pregnancy or birth. – How anxiety around reproduction shows up physically and shapes behaviour — from avoidance all the way to relationship breakdowns. The Cost of Misunderstanding and Dismissal: – How the lack of language and awareness among health professionals leaves women unsupported. – The ripple effects on mental health, fertility journeys, and identity when these fears go unrecognised. Trauma Roots and The Life Spectrum: – Why trauma isn't always about birth itself — puberty, menopause, and even our own birth stories can plant seeds of reproductive anxiety. – What avoidance looks like in daily life and how it's often the giveaway. Tokophobia vs. RAD: – The difference between classic tokophobia and the deeper anxiety profile of RAD. – How other conditions like OCD and generalised anxiety can be tangled up with reproductive fears, and why addressing tokophobia can cut through layers of other symptoms. Why Naming It Changes Everything: – The power of moving RAD "out of the unconscious and into the conscious," so you can start to heal. – The urgent need for research, better care, and new questioning from both professionals and those living with this invisible weight. The Path to Healing: – Why this kind of anxiety can be healed — and what hope and possibility look like, even if you feel unsure where to start. – A call to action for listeners, partners, professionals, and researchers to recognise and respond to RAD. Who is this episode for? Women (and those assigned female at birth) who feel an intense, unexplained dread or avoidance about anything related to pregnancy, childbirth, family planning, or even being around babies and children. Anyone who's ever been told "it's just fear" or "you'll get over it" — and is sick of not being understood or supported. Those struggling with reproductive decision-making, unexplained infertility, or years of quiet panic around their body's milestones (puberty, periods, menopause). Listeners searching for language, validation, and a roadmap to finally start understanding (and healing) what's been holding them back. Birth professionals, therapists, and anyone interested in women's health who want to truly "see" and support people experiencing reproductive/birth anxiety. What might they be looking for? Hope, clarity, a sense of belonging, and practical avenues to start healing. Most of all: real language, understanding, and evidence that anxiety around reproduction is real, valid, and possible to move beyond. WANT TO GO DEEPER? For resources, the white paper "The Case for Reproductive Anxiety Disorder," and trauma-aware storytelling guidelines, visit fearlessbirthing.com or tiktokphobia.com. — If this sounds like your hidden story or someone you care about, this episode will finally give you a language — and a path forward.

    45 min

  7. 06/10/2025

    Could Your Own Birth Be Fueling Your Tokophobia?

    Are you ready to go deeper into the real reasons behind tokophobia? In this honest and eye-opening episode, Alexia and JJ confront one of the most overlooked (and misunderstood) realities for those living with a fear of pregnancy and birth: the trauma of your own birth. Forget everything you've been told about where anxiety "comes from"— because this one starts sooner, and runs deeper, than most of us ever realise. Whether you know your own birth story or not, this episode unpacks why the experience of being born is often the hidden driver behind lifelong tokophobia — shaping everything from mental health to relationships, even before our conscious memories form. Key discussion points: Why the majority of tokophobia cases stem from trauma experienced during your birth — not just the trauma of giving birth as an adult JJ's powerful recollection of learning her own birth story, and the long shadow it cast over her life, creativity, and pregnancy experiences Alexia's personal process of healing birth trauma — without knowing the details of her own birth — and how it was a turning point in overcoming tokophobia Making sense of tokophobia symptoms: feeling trapped, out of control, fear of not being "ready", and why they're so often rooted in the original birth experience How birth trauma impacts not just pregnancy, but identity, relationships, and mental health far beyond childhood Breaking the silence: why therapists, health professionals, and all of us need to look beyond childhood to understand reproductive anxiety The urgent call to reframe how we talk about birth trauma — so we stop conflating the experience of "giving birth" with "being born" Tangible hope: how healing the root of your fear (even if you don't know your story) can transform your outlook and open up choice This episode is for you if: You're struggling with an intense, sometimes inexplicable fear of pregnancy or childbirth — even if no one else seems to "get it" You've felt dismissed by professionals who only look at childhood or adult traumas, and never consider what happened when you were born You're feeling stuck, trapped, or out of control — not just about pregnancy, but in other parts of your life too You want to better understand yourself, break long-standing anxiety patterns, or make peace with your reproductive future You're seeking practical hope, real-life experience, and validation that you're not broken — and there is a way forward If you're craving a gentle but fiercely honest look at trauma, healing, and the true origins of tokophobia, this episode is your signpost. Step inside. You are welcome here. Want more depth? Explore the white papers, "Fear Sells (But It Doesn't Serve)" and "The Case for Reproductive Anxiety Disorder," or check out the RAD Responsible™ initiative for trauma-aware insights and support. Find resources and join the community at tiktokophobia.com.

    24 min

  8. 06/03/2025

    JJ's Tokophobia and Its Hidden Impact on Creativity and Relationships

    In this powerful episode of Tik-Tokophobia, cohost JJ Stenhouse steps into the guest seat and shares her personal journey with tokophobia—the overwhelming fear of pregnancy and childbirth. Only recognising her tokophobia at age 68, JJ reveals how this hidden anxiety wove itself through her life, shaping her relationships, creativity, and even her sense of self. The conversation explores the life-altering impact of unrecognised reproductive trauma, the challenges of healing, and what truly shifts when you finally put a name to your fear. Key discussion points: Recognising tokophobia late in life: JJ's realisation, after years of baffling anxiety, that her challenges with relationships and creativity were rooted in early birth trauma and reproductive anxiety. How tokophobia shapes life choices: The impact of tokophobia on relationships, marriage, and the choice (or absence of choice) to have children. Creative stifling: Discovering that tokophobia didn't just stop JJ from having children—it also blocked her ability to "birth" creative projects or bring her ideas into the world. The emotional experience of miscarriage: JJ's experience of intense terror, denial, and then unexpected anger during an early miscarriage, and how this was misunderstood by others (and herself). Grieving what never happened: Reflections on how menopause can trigger a fresh wave of grief for those who never had children, even when the decision was never clear-cut. Medical dismissal and societal judgement: Revisiting the insensitive responses from medical professionals and the isolation of being childless by circumstance, not always choice. Healing and hope: JJ's approach to overcoming her tokophobia—naming the fear, releasing stored trauma in the body, and seeing real, tangible shifts in her anxiety, creativity, and connection with children. The creative renaissance: How finally addressing tokophobia led to a surprising burst of creativity and a deeper sense of safety and connection. Practical healing insights: The power of simply naming the issue, the link between body-based anxiety and reproductive trauma, and the role of readiness in personal healing. Who is this episode for? This episode is for anyone living with unexplained anxiety around pregnancy, birth, or even creativity — especially if you feel "blocked" in life and can't quite put your finger on why.  It's for those struggling to process reproductive trauma, feeling unseen by medical or mental health professionals, or grieving what could have been.  If you suspect you might have tokophobia or reproductive anxiety, or you simply want to understand how deep these fears can run, JJ's story will offer both insight and hope. Whether you're searching for answers, validation, or a way forward, this episode will show you that you're absolutely not alone — and that healing is possible at any stage of life. If this resonates, check out our white papers — "Fear Sells (But It Doesn't Serve)" and "The Case for Reproductive Anxiety Disorder" — and explore our RAD Responsible™ resources for more on safe, empowering storytelling around pregnancy and birth.

    26 min

  9. 05/27/2025

    How Tokophobia Shapes Your Mental Health

    If you've ever felt a deep dread of pregnancy, birth, or anything connected to babies—only to wonder if you're broken or mad for feeling that way — this episode will feel like coming home. This week, Alexia and JJ turn the spotlight directly onto the messy, often misunderstood intersection between tokophobia (the pathological fear of pregnancy and childbirth) and mental health. Sharing candid stories from their own healing journeys, they pull apart the ways tokophobia is more than "just a phobia" — it's often the linchpin disorder underlying chronic anxiety, depression, OCD, isolation, and the crushing feeling of being fundamentally "not like other women". They also offer real hope: once you name it, you can begin to claim your life back. In this episode: Why tokophobia is rarely "just" about birth — it's the mother of all anxiety disorders (yes, really) and can fuel decades of depression, anxiety, and self-doubt How Alexia and JJ each realised they had tokophobia — sometimes only decades after the damage was done The vicious cycle: medical dismissal, social isolation, and why talking about tokophobia still feels taboo Triggers everywhere: from pregnant bumps to baby talk at work — how daily life can feel like an emotional minefield for people with tokophobia Relief after miscarriage? Fear of holding a friend's baby? The tangled web of "unacceptable feelings" that come with the condition — and why you're not alone Why the mental health system mostly fails tokophobic women, and how not being believed actually makes things worse The life-changing power of finally having a name for what you're experiencing (and finding your tribe) Small steps to healing: where to seek help, how to find validation, and why your story really does matter Who is this episode for? This episode is a lifeline for anyone silently struggling with the fear of pregnancy, birth, or motherhood — especially if you: Feel haunted by anxiety, dread, or panic around anything to do with babies, pregnancy, or childbirth Experience depression, OCD or emotional isolation that seems tangled up in your reproductive story — but can't find support that actually understands the root cause Have lost friendships, avoided life milestones, or kept quiet from embarrassment or shame Are tired of being dismissed by doctors, family, or even therapists who simply don't "get it" Want to know you're not broken — and need practical hope for healing You don't have to suffer in silence. This episode will leave you feeling seen, reassured, and ready to take the next step — whether that's finding support, naming your fear, or simply realising you aren't the only one feeling like this. For professionals, partners, and anyone supporting someone with intense birth anxiety, this episode is an eye-opener — don't miss the insight on true compassion and what actually helps. If this resonates, subscribe to Tik-Tokophobia. There's a whole community here waiting for you.

    34 min

  10. 05/20/2025

    Why We're Doing This: Inside Our First Episode of Tik-Tokophobia

    Welcome to the very first episode of Tik-Tokophobia. In this honest, unfiltered conversation, hosts Alexia Leachman and JJ Stenhouse break the silence around tokophobia – the intense, often hidden fear of pregnancy and childbirth. Drawing from their own deeply personal stories, Alexia and JJ reveal how tokophobia can quietly shape a person's entire life—not just their decisions about having children, but their mental health, relationships, and even creativity. They challenge everything you thought you knew about reproductive anxiety and make a powerful case for why it's time to drag this "invisible epidemic" into the open. If you've ever felt paralysed by the idea of pregnancy, or if you're wondering why anxiety, avoidance, or shame seem to follow you around this topic, this episode will leave you feeling seen, informed, and maybe even a bit hopeful. Key Points Covered The true definition of tokophobia — and why it's much more than "just a fear of childbirth" Alexia and JJ's personal journeys: discovering their own tokophobia, often decades after it first shaped their lives What it feels like to be hit by overwhelming reproductive anxiety — and why it's often mistaken for something else (anxiety, "not being maternal", or just "not wanting kids") The fundamental link between trauma (especially birth and early life experiences) and the root of tokophobia How tokophobia can sabotage relationships, creativity, and self-worth—often without you ever knowing its name Why tokophobia persists in silence: medical dismissal, professional blind spots, and the lack of awareness even among mental health experts The role of birth trauma—how your own birth experience can silently shape your lifelong relationship with fear, creativity, and belonging Breaking the "not for me" myth: tokophobia isn't just for women actively planning children — its ripple effects reach anyone who's ever been born The hope and transformation available when tokophobia is finally named, understood and healed Who This Episode is For Anyone who feels dread, shame, or anxiety about pregnancy, birth, or even just encounters with babies—no matter their gender or parental status Listeners who suspect there's something deeper behind their avoidance of pregnancy or long-term creative "blockages" Women who have been told they're simply "not maternal", "just anxious", or "overthinking it"—and know there's more to their story Individuals feeling misunderstood, dismissed, or alone in their fears, and wanting real insight (not just platitudes or shallow advice) Mental health professionals, partners, family members, and anyone wanting a deeper understanding of reproductive anxiety and its impact If you're looking for validation, clarity, and a way forward — this is your episode. Tik-Tokophobia is here to say: you're not broken, you're not alone, and real change is possible. Subscribe and share — this conversation could change (or even save) someone's life.

    35 min

  11. 05/20/2025

    When Pregnancy Equals Panic: Alexia's Tokophobia Story

    What happens when pregnancy fear runs so deep it shapes your entire life? In this raw and revealing episode, co-host Alexia Leachman opens up about her own journey with tokophobia — the crippling fear of pregnancy and childbirth. With co-host JJ Stenhouse guiding the conversation, Alexia unpacks how this hidden anxiety disorder can blindside you, how she battled (and beat) her own fears, and why most women suffering in silence aren't "broken" — they've simply never been told what's really going on. Blending humour, honesty, and hard-won wisdom, this episode is a compassionate deep dive into the lived reality of tokophobia, the grief of missed opportunities, and the possibility of genuine healing. Key discussion points: Discovering Tokophobia: Alexia's shock at her intense terror on discovering she was pregnant, and how relief after miscarriage signalled something deeper than "normal" anxiety. Grief and Mental Health: The impact of losing her mother, years of unaddressed anxiety and depression, and how these complicated her response to pregnancy. Relationships and Reproductive Choices: How unrecognised tokophobia kept her from conversations about motherhood, shaped her relationship, and delayed family planning. Facing the Fear: Alexia's struggle to find help, her frustration with the lack of pathways or language for what she was experiencing, and the inadequacy of "just do hypnobirthing" advice. Breakthroughs in Healing: How Alexia used mindset tools from her coaching background to address her deepest fears — even banishing a lifelong phobia of needles in under five minutes. From Dread to Home Birth: The journey from wanting to be knocked out for a c-section to choosing (and loving) a home birth, all by clearing fear layer by layer. The Aftermath: Realising (post-birth!) what tokophobia is, and how sharing her story led to other women seeking her help, eventually sparking her fear-free childbirth podcast and book. The Hidden Costs of Silence: Looking back, Alexia recognises how tokophobia shaped her identity, sex life, career choices, and friendships — even when she didn't know it had a name. Calling Out the System: The frustration that health services and society still miss the signs, with women either dismissed or fast-tracked to surgery instead of support. A Message of Hope: Why healing is truly possible — often faster than you think — and how Alexia now helps others break free from the cage of reproductive fear. This episode is for you if: You feel paralysed or overwhelmed at the idea of pregnancy, birth, or even talking about babies — but you're not sure why. You've been told you're just "anxious", "not maternal", or "odd", and feel isolated or broken as a result. You're already pregnant and terrified, desperate for answers that aren't just "take a deep breath" or "book a c-section". You suspect your struggles with intimacy, career focus, or relationships might be more deeply linked to the fear of pregnancy or birth. You're a partner, professional, or friend trying to understand what a loved one is going through. Whether you're looking for language to describe what's happening inside you, honest stories that validate your experience, or real hope that things can change — this episode is a safe, genuine space to begin. Like what you hear? Subscribe, share, and join the conversation. You're not alone, and there is a way forward.

    41 min

  12. 05/20/2025

    Understanding Tokophobia: Shedding Light on a Misunderstood Fear

    What exactly is tokophobia, and why does it matter far beyond the walls of maternity wards? In this bold, honest first episode, hosts Alexia Leachman—a specialist who has healed her own tokophobia—and JJ, who lived with tokophobia unknowingly for nearly seventy years, crack open the hidden world of reproductive anxiety. Together, they expose how this pathological fear of pregnancy and birth can silently shape lives, relationships, and mental health, often without anyone realising. Drawing from their own journeys and years of working with women facing these fears, Alexia and JJ reframe tokophobia as a profound anxiety disorder that deserves far more attention than it gets. This isn't just for those planning families: if you've ever felt tense, trapped, or overwhelmed by the very idea of pregnancy—or seen those echoes elsewhere in your life—this episode is for you.

    43 min
  • 12 Episodes

About

Unpacking the hidden epidemic of Reproductive Anxiety Disorder — through the lens of tokophobia, fear, and female mental health. This isn't just a podcast about pregnancy and birth fears. It's about the anxiety no one talks about — the kind that wraps itself around your identity, your relationships, your career, your future. And the kind that gets misdiagnosed, dismissed, or missed entirely. Tokophobia — the extreme fear of pregnancy and childbirth — is just the tip of the iceberg. What lies beneath is something bigger: Reproductive Anxiety Disorder (RAD). It's an unrecognised condition that affects millions of women. And most of them don't even know it. So why Tik-Tokophobia? It's a nod to the relentless ticking of the biological clock — that internal panic women feel when society says "it's time" but their nervous system screams "no." This podcast is about what happens in that space. And how we can break free from it. Hosted by Alexia Leachman, world expert on tokophobia, creator of the Head Trash Clearance method, and former sufferer who healed her own fear. Alongside JJ Stenhouse, a veteran broadcaster who lived with tokophobia for over 40 years without knowing it. Together, they explore what unhealed reproductive fear really costs: Anxiety. Depression. OCD. Relationship breakdowns Fertility struggles and ambivalence Creative and sexual shutdown A lifetime of "I don't know what's wrong with me" Through honest conversations, healing insights, and lived experience, this podcast illuminates the two paths of tokophobia: 🔹 Door on the left: healing, clarity, self-trust, and choice 🔹 Door on the right: fear-led decisions, isolation, and emotional shutdown We're here to change the conversation: To show why fear is quietly driving the fertility crisis To challenge the way mental health misunderstands birth trauma To name what women have always felt, but never had language for Whether you're a woman who's lived it, a partner trying to understand, or a professional who wants to do better — this podcast is for you. It's time we gave reproductive anxiety the recognition it deserves. It's time to name it. It's time to heal it. Welcome to Tik-Tokophobia.

Information

  • Creator
    Alexia Leachman
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    12
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025
  • Show Website
    Tik-Tokophobia