To Be A Boy

Joeli Brearley and Elliott Rae
  • 4.3 (7)
  • PARENTING
  • UPDATED BIWEEKLY

To Be A Boy dives into the chaos of raising boys today — from dodgy masculinity myths to the wild world of online culture. Joeli Brearley and Elliott Rae mix humour with sharp takes on the policies, systems and social norms shaping boys’ lives. It’s real talk, big laughs, and a nudge toward a fairer future.

  1. 3D AGO

    Social Media Showdown: Should Teens Log Off for Good?

    Join this lively debate with Joeli and Elliott, as experts Sonia Livingstone and Susie Davies tackle the hot topic of social media bans for under-16s in the UK. Discover the pros and cons of digital consent age, the impact on mental health, and the role of parents in navigating the digital landscape. The gloves are off! (No experts were harmed in the recording of this episode.) This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part time nannies. From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK. Find out more here: ⁠⁠http://bit.ly/49y19rl⁠⁠

    51 min

  2. MAR 3

    REPLAY: Josh Sargent on Social Media Bans and Online Masculinity

    Rerelease alert! First aired on 10 June 2025, this episode with our favourite feels even more relevant now that the government is flirting with the idea of booting under 16s off social media entirely. So we’re revisiting our chat with 15 year old Josh Sargent — boy, book writer, manosphere decoder, and all round legend. Josh breaks down how teen boys get sucked into online masculinity culture, why Andrew Tate was everywhere, and what finally snapped him out of it. Still one of our favourite episodes, and honestly… even more relevant (and alarming) in 2026. We're also pointing you towards our Push for Paternity March: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/push-for-paternity-leave-tickets-1982354647113 This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part time nannies.From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK. Find out more here: ⁠⁠http://bit.ly/49y19rl⁠⁠

    53 min

  3. FEB 24

    From Gang Life to Gentle Fatherhood: Fredi Nwaka & a Varied Modern Manhood

    Filmmaker, author and former rapper Fredi Nwaka joins Elliott and Joeli for a powerful, funny and deeply honest conversation about modern masculinity, fatherhood, vulnerability, identity, gang life and healing. From growing up as “the only Black boy in the world” to redefining what it means to be a strong man, Fredi shares lessons on softness, parenting, legacy and the boys we’re raising today. And yes, we get a live rap on the show... We know you’re going to get the Fredi bug like we did, and you can follow him on Instagram: @therealfredinwaka  @boy_by_fredinwaka and get signed copies of the book directly from his website www.fredinwaka.com although it's available from Amazon, Waterstones, Foyles and all good bookstores too. Enjoy the Fredi vibes! This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part time nannies.From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK.Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl

    54 min

  4. FEB 16

    Frontline Boys: What Teachers Really See In The Classroom

    In this episode of To Be A Boy, Elliott and Joeli bring together two seasoned secondary school teachers: Will in Newcastle and Machel in London to dig into pull back the curtain on what’s actually going on with boys today. From “TikTokified” worldviews and “bantified” misogyny to the quiet crises unfolding in the school corridors, they reveal a rapidly shifting landscape that teachers are somehow expected to fix with little more than a whiteboard pen and a prayer. Their stories are equal parts hard, inspiring and deeply human, offering a frontline perspective that cuts through the headlines and hysteria. This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part-time nannies. From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK. Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl

    59 min

  5. FEB 10

    Skincare, Stand‑Up & Surviving Grief with Darren Harriott

    Comedian Darren Harriot joins us for a raw and unsurprisingly funny conversation about grief, masculinity and growing up after losing his dad at 11. From childhood depression to adult shame, from stand‑up as survival to the pressure men feel to “hold it all together,” Darren opens up with honesty and insight. We were really grateful to talk to him about his story. A powerful, hopeful episode for anyone raising boys, loving men, or figuring out their own story. If this resonates with you, we invite you to listen to Darren's show, Father Figuring: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/series/m002lzw8 This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part-time nannies. From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK. Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl

    1 hr

  6. FEB 3

    Why So Many Men Are Struggling - And What Helps (with Gary Barker)

    We sit down with the absolutely delightful Gary Barker, CEO of Equimundo for an honest and hopeful conversation about why so many boys and men feel lonely, overwhelmed and disconnected. No small ask: we're asking him what the hell we can do about it. From friendships to (ye olde favourite,) screens to the pressure to “provide,” Gary talks Joeli and Elliott through the big picture, and has a signature warmth that'll suck you in and some much needed clarity. We're jealous that you haven't heard this yet - enjoy! https://equimundo.org https://www.equimundo.org/resources/state-of-uk-men-2025/ This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part-time nannies. From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK. Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl

    1h 1m

  7. JAN 27

    The intelligent and compassionate education of Boys with Richard Pomfrett

    In this episode, we sit down with Richard Pomfrett, a martial‑arts‑instructor‑turned‑boy‑whisperer, to unpack why boys sometimes go from chatty little legends to mysterious, grunty teenagers who only communicate via Fortnite and side‑eye. Richard’s spent 25 years helping boys navigate the pressures of modern masculinity, from “must‑get‑six‑pack‑before-puberty” anxiety to the weird world of online influencers. He also shares his brilliantly simple recipe for getting boys to open up: “be open, be positive, be curious”. It's emotional first aid, minus the tiny plasters. Whether you're a parent, teacher or someone just trying to understand why your kid suddenly needs a six‑figure salary by Year 6, this one is packed solid with practical tips. ⁠https://www.boyz-2-men.org.uk/⁠ ⁠https://TheStaySafeInitiative.org.uk⁠ This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part-time nannies. From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK. Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl

    1h 1m

  8. JAN 22

    Sharing the Care: A Sort Of Love Story 

    What happens when you dig into unpaid labour and accidentally expose the entire wiring of modern family life? In this episode of To Be A Boy, Joeli and Elliott chat with the brilliant Melissa Hogenboom, author of Breadwinners, about why sharing the care still feels revolutionary, why breadwinning still clings to outdated gender scripts, and why so many men discover far too late that the nappy bag does not self‑restock.   Together they unpack the invisible work running households, relationships and mental health: the unseen planning others absorb, the pressure men carry as designated “providers,” and the hopeful rise of caring masculinities. A funny, warm, quietly radical episode for anyone trying to build a more equal home, one chore, one conversation at a time.   This episode is supported by Philips Avent, a brand trusted by families for over 40 years. ⁠With its Share the Care mission⁠, the brand is helping mums reclaim time for themselves and championing a shift in how we think about parenting.

    36 min
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Trailer

Ratings & Reviews

4.3
out of 5
7 Ratings

About

To Be A Boy dives into the chaos of raising boys today — from dodgy masculinity myths to the wild world of online culture. Joeli Brearley and Elliott Rae mix humour with sharp takes on the policies, systems and social norms shaping boys’ lives. It’s real talk, big laughs, and a nudge toward a fairer future.

Information

  • Creator
    Joeli Brearley and Elliott Rae
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    50
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Joeli Brearley and Elliott Rae
  • Show Website
    To Be A Boy

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