Two Assholes and a Mic

Ian

Just a two "normal dudes", having some drinks and having regular conversation. Conversations will vary, but are none-the-less comical. We will try to veer away from political and religious conversation because not everyone can maintain a respectful means of expressing their views.

  1. 4d ago

    S2E32 - House Contracts, Slingshot Sales, and Sewer Monsters

    Send us Fan Mail In S2E32, we start off sweating through another round of Texas garage heat and UK weather talk before Robby gives an update on finally selling the trailer and getting the Slingshot lined up for a tow, repair, and possible sale. From there, Ian drops the big news that the house contract has finally arrived and been signed, which leads into the usual comparison of how painfully slow the UK house-buying process feels compared to the States. We also get into garage cleanouts, weed whacking, property easements, magnolia trees, tattoo ideas, teenage attitude voices, Brooke writing her own stories, Black Mirror, Love, Death & Robots, The Ultimate Fighter, One Piece, Dragon Ball Daima, rewatching The X-Files, childhood sewer-monster trauma, wasp flybys, and why Robby’s tattoos apparently go through seasonal phases like the moon.  Support the show

    26 min

  2. Jun 28

    S2E31 - Retirement Checks, Carnivore Diets, and VFW Realizations

    Send us Fan Mail In S2E31, we bring on our old friend Chance Cunningham and catch up on life after the Air Force. We talk about Chance retiring out of Fairchild, getting medically retired after 21 and a half years, rolling straight into his VA rating, and what it feels like to finally collect the retirement we all beat ourselves up for. From there, we get into kids, college, GI Bill benefits, CCAF/EPR bullet chasing, Course 14/15, NCOA, Crash School, online classes, and why some of us just wanted to do the job without all the extra blue nonsense. We also talk Volkswagens, Mustangs, project cars, welding floor pans, Texas heat versus UK houses with no AC, weight loss, carnivore dieting, Ozempic-style shots, and how retirement can quietly get lonely when you go from seeing your people every day to barely knowing anyone nearby. That leads into a surprisingly honest VFW realization: maybe all those old heads weren’t just sitting around telling stories for no reason — maybe they missed the same thing we’re starting to miss now.  Support the show

    29 min

  3. Jun 27

    S2E30 - Diesel Problems, Dragon Ball Endings, and Dog Ball Science

    Send us Fan Mail In S2E30, we kick things off with Ian sweating through the UK heat with no AC while Robby enjoys his precious American cooling. From there, we get into the latest mystery with Kirstie’s car, diesel particulate filters, oil dilution, check engine lights that disappear at the worst possible time, and why modern cars are a pain in the ass. We also talk Slinky getting attacked by stickers, Robby losing money at poker, hole-in-the-wall taco spots, horchata, Texas construction, Tiger Woods apparently ruining the roads, esports, Masters of the Universe, and another deep dive into Dragon Ball Z, Daima, Buu, Uub, and why the ending pissed Robby off. Then we somehow end up on fighting anime, dog neutering versus human vasectomies, testicular cancer in dogs, cones versus body sleeves, Comic Con plans, Wing Wednesday dread, regulars at the bar, and Robby possibly needing an Oklahoma casino trip.  Support the show

    26 min

  4. Jun 24

    S2E29 - Sonic LEGO, Bar Training, and Alien Shoe Trauma

    Send us Fan Mail In S2E29, we start with Robby showing off a new Sonic LEGO set, Knuckles, Rogue, dual-molded minifig legs, and whether custom 3D-printed LEGO figs are actually a thing. From there, we get into Robby’s bar schedule, learning drinks, wine pours, being a “15% handicap” behind the bar, Ian accidentally calling a coworker the wrong name, Uncle Buzz, LEGO reward points, gift cards, kids getting spending money, and trying to push them toward jobs and earning their own cash. We also talk about teenage anxiety, social batteries, feeling guilty when we’re out too long, ADHD, auditory processing disorder, Whatnot friends, and finish with Robby telling the story of accidentally traumatizing Autumn with light-up shoes and fake alien attacks in the Edwards desert.  Support the show

    28 min

  5. Jun 22

    S2E28 - Summer Projects, Stinky Paws, and Digital Game Trust Issues

    Send us Fan Mail In S2E28, we kick things off with full dad-mode chaos, dog hair everywhere, and Slinky demanding attention like usual. From there, we get into Slinky’s stinky feet, dogs sweating through their paws, baby teeth, Roxy trying to sit on Robby, USA versus Australia, clogged “tobacco” carts, pipe cleaners, future podcast guest ideas, becoming a better parent with age, Autumn’s online art contest, summer plans, camping, Alaska, Lego Batman, Fortnite, Forza, PlayStation Plus, and why Robby still doesn’t fully trust digital games.  Support the show

    23 min

  6. Jun 20

    S2E27 - Wing Wednesday, Testicle Energy, and Ball Bag Science

    Send us Fan Mail In S2E27, we start with Slinky getting seeds and eye goop picked out, Robby waking up in full existential “what am I doing with my life” mode, and Ian talking about the problem with wanting a relaxing “tobacco” morning when you still have places to be. From there, we get into Robby’s chaotic Wing Wednesday shift, the many versions of his name at work, UK office heat with no AC, tiny desk fans, Alani energy drink flavors, job satisfaction, expo chaos, yaki, gyoza, and why Japanese barbecue sauce beats regular barbecue sauce. Then the episode fully derails into the real question: why do people call someone weak a “p***y” when testicles are clearly the fragile ones? We break down the logic, build a new insult vocabulary, and land on “ball bag,” “testicular energy,” and “you don’t have to get all scrotal about it.”  Support the show

    24 min

  7. Jun 18

    S2E26 - Toy Story Nails, Hummingbird Wasps, and Japan Dreams

    Send us Fan Mail In S2E26, we kick things off with Slinky, Roxy’s heavy-breathing ass, and Robby showing off his ridiculous Toy Story-themed nails. From there, we get into LEGO pop culture figs, Venomized characters, missing pieces, Batgirl parts that have to stay with Willow’s collection, and somehow end up talking about whether riding on the back of a garbage truck would be fun for about a week. We also talk electric vehicles, charging infrastructure, sleep schedules, old mid-shift drinking habits, going live versus keeping the podcast audio-only, pipe screens, “tobacco,” Texas heat versus UK weather, AC in British houses, giant wasps doing Top Gun flybys, Top Gun: Maverick, fighter jets overhead, Misawa swapping F-16s for F-35s, and whether a job in Japan would be enough to make Robby quit “tobacco” and disappear across the world.  Support the show

    27 min

  8. Jun 16

    S2E25 - Timing Chains, Dog Drama, and Dick Falange

    Send us Fan Mail In S2E25, we start with Slinky covered in stickers, dog hair everywhere, and Robby debating whether Slinky’s “newts” need to go after he marks one of the LEGO boxes. From there, we talk about brushing Slinky and Roxy, Roxy’s guard-dog energy, bite strength, and how weirdly gentle she gets when taking treats. The episode then shifts into Ian’s ongoing Range Rover nightmare, including the P0341 camshaft position sensor code, the possible timing chain issue, and the brutal £6,000 repair quote. We also get into whether it makes more sense to fix it, trade it in, or sell it to a dealership, before somehow ending up on COVID car prices, Robby’s possibly broken toe, dog bite stories, future dog options, pipe screens, frozen video delays, and the unforgettable birth of “Dick Falange.”  Support the show

    25 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

Just a two "normal dudes", having some drinks and having regular conversation. Conversations will vary, but are none-the-less comical. We will try to veer away from political and religious conversation because not everyone can maintain a respectful means of expressing their views.

Information

  • Creator
    Ian
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    32
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Two Assholes and a Mic
  • Show Website
    Two Assholes and a Mic