Unbottled

Marcy Backhus
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  • Self-Improvement

After 38 years of sobriety and 5 years of podcasting, I finally had the good sense to put the two together. Unbottled is where we crack open all things sobriety—without the shame, the whispering, or the “I’m fine” face we all perfected in the 90s. This is a space for honest conversations, practical tools, laugh-so-you-don’t-cry stories, and the kind of truth that only comes after decades of doing the work and living to tell about it. Whether you’re sober-curious, long-time sober, or somewhere in the messy middle, we’re going to talk about the habits, people, boundaries, victories, and ridiculous moments that shape a sober life. Think of Unbolted as the place where we unhook the armor, loosen the bolts, and talk real sobriety—candid, witty, a little sassy, and full of hope because life gets a whole lot lighter when you stop tightening everything down and start opening up.

  1. 1d ago

    Step Four Without The Shame

    Send us Fan Mail We break down AA Step Four and replace the dread with a simple truth: an inventory is information, not condemnation. We walk through resentments, fears, and patterns so we can stop chasing relief and start building real freedom in sobriety.  • step four as a practical inventory rather than a report card  • why alcohol often functions as a solution to buried pain  • resentments as the “number one offender” and how they keep old wounds alive  • separating trauma from blame while asking how it affects us today  • fear as a hidden driver behind anger, perfectionism, people pleasing, and control  • our part as pattern-spotting for freedom, not self-hate  • “done is better than perfect” and why we work with a sponsor  • a weekly awareness practice to start before writing anything  If this episode helped you, please share it with someone who might need a little encouragement today.  If you're enjoying my summer series, be sure to subscribe so you don't miss next week's episode, Step Five, where we talk about one of the most powerful and surprisingly freeing conversations you'll ever have.

    17 min

  2. Jun 19

    Step Three Surrender

    Send us Fan Mail The moment AA Step Three comes up, I can feel the tension rise, and I get it. “Turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him” can sound like a religious demand, a loss of autonomy, or a deal-breaker if you’ve been hurt by faith, you’re angry, or you don’t believe in God at all. So I slow it down and translate what Step Three is really asking for: willingness. A decision to stop acting like you have to run the entire universe by yourself in order to stay sober. We talk about why control is the hidden fuel behind so much anxiety, resentment, and fear in addiction and in everyday life. If controlling everything worked, recovery wouldn’t be necessary. I share a simple metaphor that makes Step Three practical: you’ve been driving the car for years, crashing, speeding, missing exits, and still insisting you’ve got it. Surrender is pulling over, moving to the passenger seat, and letting something greater than self drive, whether that’s God, the AA rooms, your community, nature, or any Higher Power you can honestly accept. I also unpack the Step Three Prayer line “relieve me of the bondage of self,” because emotional sobriety often starts when we admit the call is coming from inside the house. Healthy surrender isn’t being a doormat or avoiding hard choices; it’s accepting reality, doing your part, setting boundaries, and letting go of outcomes you can’t control. You’ll leave with a clear weekly challenge and a stronger foundation for Step Four’s fearless moral inventory. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs relief, and leave a review with the one thing you’re ready to loosen your grip on today.

    16 min

  3. Jun 12

    Finding Hope In Step Two Without Religion

    Send us Fan Mail Step Two stops being a scary sentence when we treat it like a doorway to hope instead of a test of religion. I break down what “higher power” and “restore us to sanity” really mean, and why willingness is enough to start.  • why Step Two makes people freeze and how “came to believe” gives you time  • how a higher power can be God, the group, nature, honesty, or community  • what “sanity” means in sobriety as irrational thinking around alcohol  • why alcoholism pushes isolation and how recovery pushes connection  • the difference between belief and willingness and why willingness wins  • what restoration can look like in real life, one honest choice at a time  Every morning, say one simple sentence: Help me stay sober today. At night, say: Thank you for keeping me sober today.

    23 min

  4. Jun 5

    Step One — The Step Nobody Wants But Everybody Needs

    Send us Fan Mail We kick off our summer 12-step series with Step One and tell the truth about why “powerless” feels so offensive. We reframe it as relief and strategy, name what unmanageability can look like in real life, and offer questions to help you decide what you already know.  • why the word powerless triggers our need for control  • powerlessness as “once I start, something changes”  • the rule-making phase and the myth of controlled drinking  • mental gymnastics as a full-time job with no benefits  • unmanageability that looks quiet: shame, anxiety, secrecy, irritability  • surrender as wisdom, not humiliation or weakness  • grief for alcohol and grief for the fantasy of drinking normally  • what Step One looks like day to day: meetings, texting someone, pouring it out, not buying it  • questions to reflect on: trust, relationships, sleep, health, mood, money, self-respect  • reminders about support: AA meetings, counselors, recovery groups, doctors, therapists, medical caution with withdrawal  If you like this kind of real talk, but want it with a little more life, laughter, and what are we even doing here? Energy, come listen to Inside Marcy's Mind. Check in aging aphysics. Hugs and kisses go out and do something positive.

    25 min

  5. May 29

    How The AA Promises Build Real Freedom In Sobriety

    Send us Fan Mail I break down the AA promises in plain English and talk about why they can sound impossible when you are new and hurting. I share how they unfold over time through honesty, support, and real life, not perfection.  • the AA promises coming from the Big Book after Step Nine  • why early sobriety makes the promises feel unrealistic  • freedom from obsession, hiding, and morning panic  • shame and regret shifting into perspective and growth  • serenity as calm that does not come from escaping  • fear of people and money worries easing with honest living  • learning to pause and respond instead of react  • why the promises are gradual and not automatic  • the deeper message that you do not have to stay stuck forever  You can also find everything, episodes, updates, and more on my website, marcybackhusmedia.com You can write to me there, and I would love to hear from you.

    19 min

  6. May 22

    A Plain-English Guide To The AA 12 Steps

    Send us Fan Mail We break the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Steps down into plain English so they feel like a path instead of a threat. We trade perfection for honesty and explain how step work supports long-term sobriety by treating the thinking and pain under the drinking.  • why the 12 steps sound scary at first and how we soften the fear  • the steps as a framework for healing relationships and changing thinking  • why words like inventory, defects, amends, and higher power trigger people  • a simple translation of Steps 1 through 12  • why Step Four is about patterns not self-hatred  • why Step Five reduces shame by ending secrecy  • amends as accountability without causing more harm  • daily maintenance and staying connected through reflection or spirituality  • service as a tool for staying sober  • why you do the steps slowly and revisit them over time  You can also find everything, episodes, updates, and more on my website, Marcybacchusmedia.com.  On my website, marcybackhusmedia.com is a link to Alcoholics Anonymous. There's also a link to Al Anon if you have a person in your life that has a drinking problem.

    23 min

  7. May 15

    How Relapse Really Starts Long Before The Drink

    Send us Fan Mail Relapse is the topic most people in recovery whisper about, even though it’s one of the most common turning points in sobriety. I’m Marcy, and I’m going to say the quiet part out loud: relapse is usually not a random moment of chaos. It often starts weeks earlier with isolation, stress, resentment, exhaustion, and the slow drift away from support. When we understand that, relapse prevention becomes less about willpower and more about spotting patterns early. We walk through the kind of relapse thinking that sounds smart in the moment “I can handle one,” “It wasn’t that bad,” “Nobody would know” and why your brain can feel so convincing when it wants comfort. I share what has kept me grounded in long-term recovery, why connection beats secrecy, and why disappearing after a slip is the most dangerous move you can make. If you’ve relapsed recently, I want you to hear this clearly: you are not starting from scratch. You are starting from experience. We also talk to the people who love someone in recovery. Shaming doesn’t create change, it pushes people deeper into addiction. Support can look like helping someone get to a meeting, finding therapy, and making space for honest conversation without excuses or humiliation. Recovery is complicated, human, and rarely a straight line. It’s returning, recommitting, learning, adjusting, and trying again. If this lands close to home, listen, share it with someone who needs it, and then take one small action toward connection today. Subscribe to Unbottled, leave a review, and tell me: what’s the earliest sign you’re drifting away from your sobriety?

    21 min

  8. May 8

    The AA Big Book

    Send us Fan Mail We kick off our AA series by taking the fear out of the Big Book and talking about why it still helps people get sober and stay sober nearly 90 years after it was first published. We share how to approach the language, the stories, and the process without trying to be perfect, so you can focus on growth and real support.  • why we start the AA series with the Big Book  • what the Big Book is and why it got that nickname  • why lived experience beats theory in alcohol recovery  • how stories create connection and reduce shame  • how to handle outdated language without losing the message  • what happened at my first Big Book meeting and why small meetings can help  • the main parts of the book: the Doctor’s Opinion, stories, and the 12 steps  • how to read it in chunks, use it with a sponsor, and treat it like a tool  If you're loving these conversations, I have two other podcasts you need to check out. You can find everything, every episode, updates, and more on my website, marcybackusmedia.com.

    20 min
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Trailer

About

After 38 years of sobriety and 5 years of podcasting, I finally had the good sense to put the two together. Unbottled is where we crack open all things sobriety—without the shame, the whispering, or the “I’m fine” face we all perfected in the 90s. This is a space for honest conversations, practical tools, laugh-so-you-don’t-cry stories, and the kind of truth that only comes after decades of doing the work and living to tell about it. Whether you’re sober-curious, long-time sober, or somewhere in the messy middle, we’re going to talk about the habits, people, boundaries, victories, and ridiculous moments that shape a sober life. Think of Unbolted as the place where we unhook the armor, loosen the bolts, and talk real sobriety—candid, witty, a little sassy, and full of hope because life gets a whole lot lighter when you stop tightening everything down and start opening up.

Information

  • Creator
    Marcy Backhus
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    29
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Unbottled
  • Show Website
    Unbottled