Unbottled

Marcy Backhus
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  • Self-Improvement

After 38 years of sobriety and 5 years of podcasting, I finally had the good sense to put the two together. Unbottled is where we crack open all things sobriety—without the shame, the whispering, or the “I’m fine” face we all perfected in the 90s. This is a space for honest conversations, practical tools, laugh-so-you-don’t-cry stories, and the kind of truth that only comes after decades of doing the work and living to tell about it. Whether you’re sober-curious, long-time sober, or somewhere in the messy middle, we’re going to talk about the habits, people, boundaries, victories, and ridiculous moments that shape a sober life. Think of Unbolted as the place where we unhook the armor, loosen the bolts, and talk real sobriety—candid, witty, a little sassy, and full of hope because life gets a whole lot lighter when you stop tightening everything down and start opening up.

  1. 1d ago

    Wherever You Go There You Are Sober

    Send us Fan Mail Thirty-eight years sober should mean I have life all figured out, right? I don’t. What I do have is a clearer view of what sobriety really is after the early glow wears off: you quit drinking and you’re still you. Your fears, your relationships, your history, your unfinished business all show up, and now you have to face them without the old escape hatch. I talk candidly about the moment I realized alcohol wasn’t the whole problem, and why support systems like Alcoholics Anonymous and other recovery communities can make the difference between simply being dry and actually being free. We get into the parts of long-term sobriety that people don’t always say out loud. Sobriety doesn’t guarantee an easy life. You still get sick. You still lose people. You still get irritated, hurt, and disappointed. Sometimes being fully present is hard, and yes, I can even feel envy toward people who can “just have one” to unwind. But emotional sobriety changes the game: feelings are not emergencies, cravings pass, and I can go through a brutal day without turning it into a permanent decision. I also share what decades of recovery have taught me about self-trust, boundaries, relationships, and growth that never really ends. You’ll hear why “one day at a time” is not a cute slogan, how meetings can keep day one close enough to remember, and why gratitude is not denial. If you’re newly sober, struggling today, or years in and feeling stuck, I hope this gives you something steady to hold onto. Subscribe for more, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find this kind of real talk.

  2. Sep 4

    How Step 12 Turns Sobriety Into A Life

    Send us Fan Mail We reach Step 12 and talk about how recovery becomes a way of living, not a summer project you complete and file away. We break down spiritual awakening, carrying the message, and practicing principles in all our affairs, with a clear-eyed look at what long-term sobriety actually feels like. • reframing “spiritual awakening” as ordinary daily change • seeing sobriety as what we start doing, not only what we stop • carrying the message through honesty and simple story • doing service so we show up and stay connected • helping without controlling, because we cannot get anyone sober • practicing patience, honesty, kindness, acceptance, and humility everywhere • remembering there is no graduation, just a circular program we keep living • staying present for life’s hard parts with a clear head and tools If Unbottled has helped you, please share an episode with somebody who might need it.

  3. Aug 28

    AA Step 11 Made Simple For Real Life

    Send us Fan Mail Step 11 asks me to get quiet, create space from my loud thinking, and build a daily practice of prayer and meditation that actually works in real life. I talk through “God as we understood him,” how to stop chasing control, and a simple two-minute routine for guidance in the morning and gratitude at night.  • why Step 11 centers on prayer, meditation, and conscious contact  • making room for any concept of a Higher Power outside myself  • using simple prayers like “Help me” and “Help me be kind”  • meditation as noticing thoughts without running with them  • building the skill of feeling without acting, thinking without believing, and staying uncomfortable without fixing  • shifting from outcomes and control to “What am I supposed to do?”  • a practical morning check-in and evening gratitude review  • a seven-day challenge to practice before the phone and before bed  If this episode helped you, send it to someone who might need it  Subscribe or follow Unbottled so you don't miss step 12 and whatever we get ourselves into after that

  4. Aug 21

    Step 10 Recovery Maintenance

    Send us Fan Mail We talk about AA Step 10 as recovery maintenance that helps us stop creating new wreckage while we live sober day to day. We focus on awareness over perfection, including how to admit wrongs promptly without turning inventory into self-criticism.  • Step 10 as daily housekeeping rather than a huge excavation  • The truth that you can be sober and still be wrong  • Owning our part without taking responsibility for someone else’s behavior  • “Promptly” as the relationship-saving word  • Clean apologies without “but” plus the need to change behavior  • Treating self-talk like you would with a best friend  • Noticing progress through positive inventory alongside mistakes  • A simple nightly check-in that helps you let the day go  • Catching yourself mid-reaction and starting over  • Resentment as an early warning sign plus questions to interrupt it  • Using Step 10 to clarify boundaries and stop people-pleasing  For seven days, take five minutes at the end of the day. That's it. Five minutes. Ask yourself, what went well today? Where did I get off track? Do I owe anyone an apology? Is there something I need to address instead of avoiding? What am I grateful for? And finally, can I let today be finished?

  5. Aug 14

    Step Nine Without The Shame

    Send us Fan Mail I walk through AA Step 9 and why making amends is about responsibility and repair, not shame, forced forgiveness, or dumping guilt onto someone else. I share simple, practical ways to do direct amends safely, including when not to make contact and how changed behavior becomes the most meaningful kind of amends.  • Step 9 as action after Step 8 willingness  • Why amends are not humiliation or closure-chasing  • Working with a sponsor or trusted guide to avoid harmful “great ideas”  • The injury clause and how psychological harm counts  • Apology versus amends and what repair looks like  • Living amends through consistency and changed behavior  • A simple face-to-face script and removing the word “but”  • Letting go of controlling the other person’s reaction  • Financial amends with a realistic payment plan and follow-through  • Family amends built on reliability, honesty, and listening  • Options when someone is unreachable or unsafe to contact  • A small Step 9 challenge focused on today’s relationships  If Unbottled helps you, please follow the show. Share it with somebody who might need it. Leave me a rating or a review.

  6. Aug 7

    How To Make A Step Eight List Without Shame

    Send us Fan Mail We break down AA Step Eight into something you can actually do: write the list, name the harm, and build willingness without drowning in shame. We talk about impact, boundaries, safety, and why you don’t rush into Step Nine just to get quick relief.   • Step Eight as preparation, not punishment   • The hardest name to write being your own   • Trust, boundaries, and why healing has multiple timelines   • What counts as harm and how subtle harms show up   • Willingness versus readiness and “willing to become willing”   • Step Eight versus Step Nine and why speed can cause new harm   • Safety considerations around abuse, trauma, legal issues, and no-contact requests   • A practical four-column worksheet for your list   • Options when direct contact is not appropriate, including unsent letters and restitution   • A weekly challenge to start the list gently   If this episode helped you, please follow the show, leave a review, and share it with someone who may be working through the steps, or share it with someone who doesn't have a program. And this podcast could perhaps become their program.

  7. Jul 31

    Step Seven And The Real Work Of Humility

    Send us Fan Mail The sneakiest version of control is the one that looks like growth: asking for help, then handing over a rulebook on how to help you. I’m digging into AA Step 7, “humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings,” and why it’s not a spiritual formality but a real turning point in sobriety and recovery. When I stop trying to run the whole “self-improvement project,” I finally make room for change that lasts, not change I perform. We’ll walk through where Step Seven sits in the 12 steps, why Step Six is willingness and Step Seven is the ask, and how “remove my shortcomings” is different from “fix everyone else so I can relax.” I talk about control and fixing, the ways they can overwhelm us, and why sobriety isn’t about becoming perfect. It’s about becoming honest, becoming willing, and getting out of our own way. We also unpack humility vs humiliation, and why shame is not the same thing as humility. Shortcomings aren’t everything you dislike about yourself; they’re the patterns that pull you away from honesty, peace, connection, and usefulness. I cover why willpower alone often falls short, how the real work lives under the behavior, and how you can define a higher power in a way that works for you whether that’s God, nature, the recovery community, or principles like honesty, love, service, and connection. You’ll leave with seven concrete daily practices plus a simple worksheet you can use this week. If this helped, subscribe to the show, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find Unbottled.

  8. Jul 25

    Step Six Readiness

    Send us Fan Mail We walk through Step Six and get honest about why “defects of character” aren’t proof we’re broken but proof we learned how to survive. We trade perfection for willingness and use simple questions to start letting go of the patterns that quietly run our lives.  • step six unpacked and why twelve words can take years  • redefining “God” as a higher power that works for you  • character defects as survival strategies rather than identity  • alcohol as a solution that covered fear, control, resentment, and perfectionism  • why sobriety doesn’t erase anxiety or perfectionism overnight  • willingness before change and surrender over force  • the closet analogy for readiness to let go  • one-defect practice for the week and the question “what am I trying to protect”  Share with a friend, share with the people you know.  On my website, MarcyBackusmedia.com, will be a companion worksheet, step six reflection.

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Trailer

About

After 38 years of sobriety and 5 years of podcasting, I finally had the good sense to put the two together. Unbottled is where we crack open all things sobriety—without the shame, the whispering, or the “I’m fine” face we all perfected in the 90s. This is a space for honest conversations, practical tools, laugh-so-you-don’t-cry stories, and the kind of truth that only comes after decades of doing the work and living to tell about it. Whether you’re sober-curious, long-time sober, or somewhere in the messy middle, we’re going to talk about the habits, people, boundaries, victories, and ridiculous moments that shape a sober life. Think of Unbolted as the place where we unhook the armor, loosen the bolts, and talk real sobriety—candid, witty, a little sassy, and full of hope because life gets a whole lot lighter when you stop tightening everything down and start opening up.

Information

  • Creator
    Marcy Backhus
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    40
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Unbottled
  • Show Website
    Unbottled

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