UNDERSTANDABLE

Robert Siegers
  • 4.8 (5)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

► Hi, my name is Robert! For a long time, I wondered why relationships felt so much harder for me than for others. Over the past years, I had the privilege of spending thousands of dollars and countless hours working with four different therapists, exploring what actually creates emotional safety ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions. I am not a health professional. My content is based on research & my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for 3 years.

  1. 1d ago

    THIS Eventually Happens to an Avoidant Who Refuses to Heal

    ► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! In this video I talk about what eventually happens to an avoidant who refuses to heal. ► Links and Resources: Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma Paper: https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx P*rn Addiction Video: https://youtu.be/zNfV-U7lxkg My Rock Bottom Moment Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkVmvMkZUI4&t=79s&pp=0gcJCRsMAYcqIYzv ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction to Avoidance 01:01 Why Avoidance Works 04:27 Personal Patterns and Breakups 12:30 Decreasing Effectiveness 20:13 The Avoidant Midlife Crisis 25:15 Hitting Rock Bottom ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  2. 2d ago

    Why P0rn Addiction Exposes Avoidant Attachment (99% of the Time)

    ► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! Today's one is a quite shame laden episode. We talk about the dark link between avoidant attachment and p*rn addiction. ► Links and Resources: Deactivation Strategies Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi-wUf36e9k&t=1s Sexual compulsion Paper: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4394850/ Attachment Insecurity & Problematic Porn Use Paper: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38898361/ ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 01:30 Avoidant Roots 04:45 The Dating Phase 07:05 Rollercoaster Phase (P0rn Consumption Begins) 14:00 Drought Period (P0rn Addiciton Implements) 16:00 Summary 18:00 What You Can Do ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  3. 6d ago

    THIS Is What Avoidants Do When They're Afraid of Losing You

    ► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! In this video I talk about what avoidants do when they're afraid of losing you. I also unpack the hidden link behind their fear of commitment and their fear of losing you... ► Links and Resources: Deactivation Strategides Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi-wUf36e9k&t=1s Why Avoidants Always Come Back Video: https://youtu.be/YfiJsB7XXx8 ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 02:15 A Note to Hurt Partners 03:50 Before the Relationship 09:59 The Chase 11:46 The Moment of Commitment 16:00 When Conflict Arrives 20:34 The Breakup and Relief 22:15 When They Are Finally Afraid of Losing You 26:05 When They Come Back ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  4. Sep 12

    To Anyone Who's Loving or Leaving an Avoidant…

    ► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! This one is a very personal one for me. It's a message for everyone who's loving or leaving an avoidant. ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 To Anyone Loving or Leaving an Avoidant... 02:01 Confusion 03:55 The Truth About Them 06:52 A Way Out of the Dark 07:20 1. Coming Home to Yourself 09:40 2. Taking Yourself Back 11:13 3. Becoming Unshakable 12:50 4. Rising & Refocusing 15:24 5. Attracting Secure Love 16:10 6. Love Without Losing Yourself 17:41 The Next Step ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  5. Sep 11

    5 Things Never to Say to an Avoidant on the Phone (They'll Shut Down)

    ► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! In today's video I talk about the 5 biggest mistakes to avoid when you're calling an avoidant on the phone. ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 00:47 Why Avoidants Panic When You Call Them 02:48 1) Not Texting First 04:20 2) Being Dysregulated Yourself 05:45 3) Calling Them When They're Dysregulated 06:50 4) Calling Repeatedly 09:25 5) Resolving Conflict on the Phone ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  6. Sep 9

    THIS Is the Exact Moment an Avoidant Decides to Discard You

    ► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! In today's video I describe the exact moment an avoidant decides to discard you in brutally honest detail. ► Links and Resources: 10 Stages That Lead to Avoidant Discard Video: https://youtu.be/ZWpTLj1E2No Deactivation Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi-wUf36e9k&t=1s ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 01:26 The Discard Building Up 05:12 The First Trigger 08:07 Preparation of the Discard 13:03 Exact Moment They Decide to Discard 15:50 Hidden Moment They Decide to Discard ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  7. Sep 6

    The 10 Stages That Lead to an Avoidant Discarding You (What to Do at Each One)

    ► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! In todays video I walk you through the 10 stages that end in avoidant discarding you. I also share ideas what you can do best at each stage. ► Links and Resources: Hypervigilance Video: https://youtu.be/Mhoa6_53StI?si=FZmzMIm8IK0rc3_U Deactivation Video: https://youtu.be/fi-wUf36e9k?si=9FO4GoQZNRwxq2Eo Rock Bottom Moment Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkVmvMkZUI4&t=79s Rebound Relationship Video: https://youtu.be/QrhTOoAai_M?si=9ThJxF-atsfPgkYu ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 02:05 Stage 0: Childhood Core Wounds 03:43 Stage 1: Thirsty for Love 05:38 Stage 2: First Contact 08:05 Stage 3: Illusion & Fantasy 11:37 Stage 4: "Lovebombing" 14:34 Stage 5: First Triggers 16:44 Stage 6: Love & Panic 22:34 Stage 7: The Tipping Point 25:58 Stage 8: Sabotage & Deactivation 28:36 Stage 9: Collapse & Discard 33:33 Stage 10: Rebound or Recovery ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

  8. Sep 4

    How to Respond When an Avoidant Comes Back (Turn Them Down the Right Way)

    ► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! In this video I share with you how to respond when an avoidant comes back. ► Links and Resources: Why Avoidants Come Back Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4umBMT2pBpY&t=11s ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 04:08 The Power of Your Response 05:21 Processing the Breakup 06:28 Coming Home to Yourself 10:59 Step 1: Defining Relational Standards 14:34 Step 2: Reconnecting with Your Needs 17:42 Step 3: Refocussing on Yourself 21:48 How to Respond When an Avoidant Comes Back ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

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Ratings & Reviews

4.8
out of 5
5 Ratings

About

► Hi, my name is Robert! For a long time, I wondered why relationships felt so much harder for me than for others. Over the past years, I had the privilege of spending thousands of dollars and countless hours working with four different therapists, exploring what actually creates emotional safety ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions. I am not a health professional. My content is based on research & my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for 3 years.

Information

  • Creator
    Robert Siegers
  • Years Active
    2018 - 2026
  • Episodes
    417
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Robert Siegers
  • Show Website
    UNDERSTANDABLE

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