The VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast

David & Tracy Sellars

Need help in your marriage?! We've got you covered! The VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast will help you grow closer to your spouse and closer to God's design for your marriage. No marriage is too far gone to save or too healthy to not need a check up. Let's get started by building a Biblically healthy marriage! 

  1. 2D AGO

    Why The Local Church Shapes Your Child's Faith

    Church attendance is dropping fast, but the bigger question hits closer to home: when your kids leave your house, will they leave God's house too? We get honest about the data, the fear many parents carry, and the way misleading statistics can distort what is really happening among professing Christians. Then we move from doom and gloom to a clear, biblical plan for raising kids who stay connected to Christ and His people. We start where it has to start: salvation. We challenge the common assumption that church involvement equals saving faith and share a simple, practical step for families, asking your child to write out their testimony and talk it through. From there, we explain why the local church is not optional in God's design for discipleship. Scripture frames the church as the body of Christ, which means your child is not a customer, they are a needed part with real purpose and real giftedness. We also tackle spiritual maturity. If kids only expect to be fed, they often leave when church feels inconvenient or unimpressive. We talk about moving from milk to meat through consistent Bible reading, building hunger for God's Word, and choosing in-person community over isolation and online substitutes. Finally, we connect it back to marriage and family life: regular church involvement supports happier, more resilient marriages by keeping couples grounded in God-centered priorities and surrounded by wise accountability. Subscribe for more biblical marriage and Christian parenting help, share this with a friend who feels stuck, and leave a review so more families can find the show. What is the hardest part of keeping your kids engaged with church right now? Support the show For episode transcripts, click HERE. For more marriage encouragement, visit: www.VowsToKeep.com | V2K Blog | Marriage Counseling | Insta | FB Apple Podcast listener? Would you consider leaving us a review, as this helps more couple's to find our resources?! Leave your review HERE.

    25 min
  2. 4D AGO

    Grace Over Grind p3

    The fastest way to drain joy out of your faith and your marriage is to turn grace into a scorecard. We talk about legalism and performance not as an abstract doctrine, but as a daily trap that reshapes how we see God, how we see ourselves, and how we treat our spouse. When acceptance feels like something we have to earn, the bar keeps moving, fear starts driving obedience, and the home begins to reflect it through anger, frustration, isolation, and a quiet loss of hope.  We take a hard look at the “me-centered” questions many believers carry around and why they keep us looking inward instead of fixing our eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2). Then we lay out a clear, practical path out of the bondage: four steps from defeat to freedom, knowing, owning, offering, and walking. Along the way, we ground everything in key gospel passages like Romans 5 and Romans 6, showing what it means to stand in “undeserved privilege,” to move from Adam’s legacy to Christ’s new life, and to stop trying to grow through sheer willpower. This is Christian sanctification with the Spirit in the lead, not a spiritual to-do list.  We also speak directly to spouses who see legalism taking root at home. We share warning signs to watch for, how performance can show up as approval-seeking in marriage, and why encouragement is rarely a one-time talk but a daily commitment to keep the gospel close. If you want a biblically healthy marriage shaped by grace, not grind, this conversation gives you language, Scripture, and next steps you can take together. Subscribe, share this with a friend who feels stuck, and leave a review so more couples can find hope, and what step do you need to take next? Support the show For episode transcripts, click HERE. For more marriage encouragement, visit: www.VowsToKeep.com | V2K Blog | Marriage Counseling | Insta | FB Apple Podcast listener? Would you consider leaving us a review, as this helps more couple's to find our resources?! Leave your review HERE.

    25 min
  3. 4D AGO

    How Legalism Sneaks Into Christian Marriage p2

    The fastest way to drain joy from your faith is to turn it into a grading system. When we start believing that God approves of us because we performed well today, we do not just carry that pressure internally, we bring it into our Christian marriage, our parenting, and our daily home life. We get stuck on the performance treadmill, chasing a personal “it” that promises relief but delivers more fear, guilt, and constant self-evaluation. We dig into how legalism works, why it can feel so convincing, and why Paul warns that it spreads like yeast in Galatians 5. We also ask a question many believers are afraid to say out loud: can a true Christian still be legalistic? From there, we name what happens when we “become judge,” set our own bar, and swing between determination and condemnation. If you have perfectionistic tendencies, or you feel like you and your spouse are always measuring each other, this conversation puts language to what is happening beneath the surface. Then we pivot to hope and a practical way forward. John 15 reframes spiritual growth as abiding in Christ, not straining to earn love, and First John 4 draws the line clearly: legalism runs on fear, but obedience grows from love. We close with a real marriage moment and a challenge to talk honestly with your spouse about the “pit” you fall into, inviting support without making them your rescuer. If this helped you, subscribe, share it with a friend who feels crushed by performance, and leave a review so more couples can find grace-filled, Christ-centered marriage help. Support the show For episode transcripts, click HERE. For more marriage encouragement, visit: www.VowsToKeep.com | V2K Blog | Marriage Counseling | Insta | FB Apple Podcast listener? Would you consider leaving us a review, as this helps more couple's to find our resources?! Leave your review HERE.

    25 min
  4. 4D AGO

    Legalism Promises Approval But Only Grace Delivers Freedom p1

    The fight is rarely just about the dishes, the tone, or the timing. Sometimes the real conflict is invisible: a relentless pressure to prove you’re “good enough” for God, and then quietly demanding that same standard inside your marriage. David and Tracy open up about a season when they argued more in one month than they had in years, and how that red flag exposed something deeper than communication skills. The culprit was legalism and performance, and the damage showed up as fear, defensiveness, and a constant sense of being analyzed and judged.  We walk through what legalism actually is, why it can feel so normal, and why it even feels good at first. We talk about the performance treadmill, the subtle ways we try to “cancel out” sin with better behavior, and how unrealistic expectations can take over a home. Along the way, we connect the dots between outward rule-keeping and inward heart motives, and we explain why legalism can masquerade as obedience while replacing the gospel.  The turning point is grace. We unpack justification, what it means to be declared righteous before God through faith, and why trying to earn approval after the cross is not only exhausting but spiritually dangerous. If you’ve grown up in rule-heavy environments, struggle with perfectionism, or love a spouse who seems trapped under self-made laws, this conversation is a practical step toward freedom and real heart change. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs relief, and leave a review so more marriages can find hope. Support the show For episode transcripts, click HERE. For more marriage encouragement, visit: www.VowsToKeep.com | V2K Blog | Marriage Counseling | Insta | FB Apple Podcast listener? Would you consider leaving us a review, as this helps more couple's to find our resources?! Leave your review HERE.

    25 min
  5. MAY 18

    Your Faithfulness Today Shapes Your Child’s Faith Tomorrow

    Your child growing up is the goal. Your child growing up and walking away from God is the fear we almost don’t want to say out loud. We start with a story that hits close to home: godly parents, real investment, and a young adult who leaves home and quickly leaves the church too. From there, we ask the question every Christian parent wrestles with: what can we do now that shapes the faith our kids carry into adulthood? We dig into church attendance statistics and the cultural shift behind them, including the rise of “no religious affiliation” among Millennials and Gen Z. We also talk about why a science-first worldview can become a substitute for heart work, and why biblical discipleship, loving discipline, and real repentance can’t be replaced by distractions, entertainment, or quick fixes. If we model a casual, convenience-based approach to church, we should not be surprised when our kids repeat it later. Then we get practical about why kids leave the church: resentment, church hurt, unmet expectations, and the temptation to avoid hard conversations. We walk through Matthew 18 and why reconciliation is the skill that keeps families and churches together. We also address hypocrisy and moral failure in church leadership, how to hold truth and grace at the same time, and why putting pastors on a pedestal sets everyone up for disillusionment. Finally, we challenge the consumer mindset that treats church like a product and show how serving, using spiritual gifts, and building real relationships makes church deeply relevant. If Vows to Keep has helped your marriage, consider becoming a monthly partner at vows2keep.com. Subscribe, share this with a parent who needs hope, and leave a review so more couples can find biblically healthy marriage help. Support the show For episode transcripts, click HERE. For more marriage encouragement, visit: www.VowsToKeep.com | V2K Blog | Marriage Counseling | Insta | FB Apple Podcast listener? Would you consider leaving us a review, as this helps more couple's to find our resources?! Leave your review HERE.

    25 min
  6. MAY 11

    Life Begins At Fertilization And Scripture Says Why

    Abortion is not just a political headline, it is a discipleship test for parents. If you have ever wondered when to bring it up with your kids, what to say without panicking, or how to respond when the culture sounds more confident than the church, this conversation gives you a path forward. We start with the why: the cultural reality that younger generations are being catechized fast, and families need a true reference point for moral direction. Then we build that foundation from Scripture, focusing on the image of God, God’s heart for the vulnerable, and our call to speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves. David is joined by his daughter Autumn, a biology student and former Creation Museum speaker, to connect biblical conviction with real-world clarity. From there we get practical and specific. We define abortion plainly, explain why “pro-life” is bigger than one issue, and walk through embryology and the claim that life begins at fertilization. Autumn also shares a simple framework you can remember, SLED (Size, Level of development, Environment, Degree of dependency), to show why the differences between born and unborn humans do not erase a person’s right to life. Finally, we address common pro-choice objections with compassion and logic, including “potential life,” financial pressure, “safe and legal,” “my body, my choice,” and the heartbreak of rape or incest, while pointing to the church’s role in tangible care and the hope of the gospel. If you want biblical counsel you can actually use in Christian parenting and family conversations about the sanctity of human life, listen now, subscribe for more, share this with another parent, and leave a review with the hardest question you want answered next. Support the show For episode transcripts, click HERE. For more marriage encouragement, visit: www.VowsToKeep.com | V2K Blog | Marriage Counseling | Insta | FB Apple Podcast listener? Would you consider leaving us a review, as this helps more couple's to find our resources?! Leave your review HERE.

    25 min
  7. MAY 4

    How Mercy And Respect Rebuild Marriage Conversation

    One careless comment can land like a verdict, and one merciful response can keep a marriage talking. We start with a real early-marriage mistake, David’s gold 1998 Ram Air Firebird bought sight unseen, and why Tracy’s refusal to shame him didn’t just avoid a fight. It built trust, kept communication open, and taught a long-term lesson about valuing a spouse’s voice instead of defending our pride.  From there, we get painfully practical about the habits that make a husband stop engaging: malice that wants payback, belittling that turns mistakes into character attacks, and the slow drift into independence where we seek advice from everyone except the man we vowed to be one with. We anchor the conversation in Scripture (James 1, Ephesians 4, 1 Peter 2) and talk about the real antidote to toxic communication: kindness, tenderhearted forgiveness, and a heart that genuinely wants the best for our spouse.  We also dig into two surprisingly common connection killers: rejecting your husband’s compliments and the way we talk when we’re frustrated. Tone of voice, shouting, coldness, and even body language can say “I don’t respect you” long before our words catch up. If God puts His finger on a specific sin, we encourage you to name it, ask forgiveness, and start rebuilding unity with truth and encouragement.  Subscribe for more biblical marriage help, share this with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review so more couples can find it. What one change in your words or tone would make the biggest difference this week? Support the show For episode transcripts, click HERE. For more marriage encouragement, visit: www.VowsToKeep.com | V2K Blog | Marriage Counseling | Insta | FB Apple Podcast listener? Would you consider leaving us a review, as this helps more couple's to find our resources?! Leave your review HERE.

    25 min
  8. APR 27

    A Soft Heart And Humility Can Bring Your Husband Back Into Conversation

    The moment your husband goes quiet, it’s easy to assume the worst: he doesn’t care, he’s checked out, or you’re asking for too much. We get it, and we’re naming what’s really happening for many couples: a communication epidemic that spreads through everyday moments until the silence feels normal. We unpack one of the biggest shutdown triggers we see in Christian marriage coaching: demands that carry a hidden message of “this is my right.” Sometimes they show up as pointed questions, coded comments, or repeated pressure that turns a home into a place where both people brace for impact. We sort through wrong demands that begin as simple preferences and grow into must-haves, then we talk about right desires like spiritual leadership, getting out of debt, or praying for a prodigal child and how even good goals can crush connection when respect drops. Along the way, we anchor the antidote in Scripture, especially Galatians 5 and Colossians 3. We talk about humility, the fruit of the Spirit, asking better questions, and choosing a posture that advocates for restoration to God rather than acting as judge and jury. We also tackle nagging head-on, what Proverbs compares to constant dripping, and why “normal” marital joking about it can hide real damage. If you want practical biblical marriage help and a clear path back to calmer conversations, press play, then join us next week for part two. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review so more couples can find support. Support the show For episode transcripts, click HERE. For more marriage encouragement, visit: www.VowsToKeep.com | V2K Blog | Marriage Counseling | Insta | FB Apple Podcast listener? Would you consider leaving us a review, as this helps more couple's to find our resources?! Leave your review HERE.

    25 min
4.9
out of 5
25 Ratings

About

Need help in your marriage?! We've got you covered! The VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast will help you grow closer to your spouse and closer to God's design for your marriage. No marriage is too far gone to save or too healthy to not need a check up. Let's get started by building a Biblically healthy marriage! 

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