we are NOT the SAME

Heather Gardner and Lacey Joseph
  • 4.0 (4)
  • COMEDY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

We Are Not the Same: Join our comedic journey as Bodybuilder Barbie flexes her muscles against Daria’s dry wit! Dive into the hilarity of life’s twists and turns through the eyes of two contrasting besties who prove that different perspectives lead to the best stories. Tune in for laughs, randomness, and a sprinkle of chaos! 

  1. 2D AGO

    Common Law, Common Chaos, And Why Your Sourdough Has Better Boundaries Than Your Ex

    Send us a text A loaf of sourdough, a misplaced Princess Bride quote, and a very real question: if marriage isn’t about survival anymore, what makes it worth choosing? We pull on that thread and follow it through a century of norms and numbers, from the 1920s peak to the long decline since the 1970s—and the cultural shifts that explain it. Along the way, we weigh what changes when you marry in your 20s versus your 40s, how women’s financial independence reframed commitment, and why cohabitation and common law feel like marriage without the vows. We get practical and a little personal. Dating with intention means saying the quiet parts out loud—kids or no kids, timeline to engagement, views on money, fidelity, and living arrangements. We talk about the power dynamics of moving into someone else’s house, why some of us would elope instead of hosting a spectacle, and how to spot the difference between a rough patch and a pattern. Effort is the heartbeat of a lasting bond, but effort needs direction: agree on what partnership looks like day to day, not just on the wedding day. And yes, the “ick” is real, but so are ebbs and flows; good relationships survive storms because both people keep showing up. There’s space here for hope, even after grief, betrayal, and canceled weddings. Choosing marriage now is less about necessity and more about alignment, equity, and shared meaning. If you’re navigating the shrinking dating pool, balancing kids and careers, or wondering whether rates will rebound as values shift back toward tradition, this conversation is for you. Listen, reflect, and tell us: what’s your non-negotiable for saying yes to forever? If you enjoyed this, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review to help more listeners find us. - Support the show

    57 min

  2. 12/29/2025

    A Delivery Driver Cheats Death On An Icy Driveway And Finds Humanity In A Stranger’s Living Room

    Send us a text A wave that hits back. A driveway made of glass. A blizzard saved mid-air like it’s the last precious thing on earth. Today we let the chaos breathe and trace the thin line between comedy and catastrophe—from cult-movie tangents to the debut of The Driver Chronicles, where gig work, winter roads, and human kindness collide. We start with taste: why some “bad” movies are beautifully honest while others just miss. That opens the door to something more vulnerable—a back that won’t cooperate, the stubborn ache of an SI joint, and how quickly injury scrambles goals and identity. We talk through practical fixes and the deeper truth that movement is medicine. Trauma doesn’t just live in memory; it nests in muscle and fascia. Walking and talking becomes a ritual, not a hack, and rest stops being a punishment. Then the map goes off-road. A DoorDash night turns slapstick with black ice and a full-body wipeout that still protects someone’s Dairy Queen order. A Walmart route becomes a controlled slide down an icy hill toward a rock wall, ending in a perfect clearing and a knock at the door. Inside are two retirees, a warm living room, and a bag of de-icer that saves more than time. Along the way we bump into the modern supply chain’s strangest corners: locked cases for intimate products, an earnest associate making small talk about normalization, and the reality that people buy what they need, when they need it. Add in apartment mazes, hospital drop-offs, hotel valet wins, a locked-keys AAA rescue, and a cash tip handed out in the cold, and you get a portrait of gig work that’s equal parts grit and grace. This one is messy, human, and oddly uplifting. We don’t offer a hero story; we offer a real one. If you’ve ever white-knuckled your way through a problem, laughed so you wouldn’t cry, or found unexpected help at the exact right moment, you’ll hear yourself in this. Press play, ride along, and tell us your wildest delivery or winter-driving story. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a quick review—your words help more people find us. - Support the show

    57 min

  3. 12/22/2025

    Modern Traditional: Choosing Monogamy In A Mix-And-Match Dating World

    Send us a text Dating today can feel like a grab bag: monogamy, polyamory, open relationships, friends with benefits, even lavender marriages. We’ve sampled the spectrum, lived through some wild chapters, and come out choosing “modern traditional”—a partnership built on exclusivity, clear roles, and mutual respect, without giving up autonomy, careers, or a voice at home. Think: you cook, I’ll do the dishes; you fix the car, I’ll pack the lunch; we both show up, and we both have a say. We open with the terms people toss around—polyamory versus polygamy, open dynamics, beard relationships—and then get personal. One of us has a family history of polygamy that shaped how we view choice and consent. The other navigates widowhood and co‑parenting in a culture that moves fast and judges faster. From there we dig into asexual seasons after bad relationships, why kissing is an underrated compatibility test, and how great sex can blur boundaries while bad sex can erode a good match. We’re honest about friends with benefits, why it so often tilts lopsided, and how to stop mistaking chemistry for commitment. Our practical takeaways are simple and sturdy. Try the 90‑day rule to see past the honeymoon gloss—most façades crack by eight weeks. Watch patterns, not promises: communication, effort, consistency. Set roles you both actually want; split work by strengths; keep space for separate hobbies while making each other the clear priority. We don’t think masculinity is toxic by default, and we’re not reenacting the 1950s. We’re aiming for a relationship you can live in every day, where attention is obvious, intimacy is mutual, and decisions are shared. If you’re rethinking your relationship style or ready to align your values with your dating choices, this one’s for you. Hit play, share it with a friend, and tell us where you land. Subscribe for more candid, unfiltered conversations, and leave a review to help others find the show. - Support the show

    46 min

  4. 12/18/2025 · BONUS

    ENCORE: Shelf Titties, Googly Eyes, And Other Cautionary Tales

    Send us a text ENCORE EPISODE RECORDED 1/12/21 Start with a laugh, stay for the honesty. We take a candid tour through the world of boobs—how asymmetry is normal, why fitness often shrinks volume, and what actually happens when you choose implants. From puberty hopes and pregnancy curveballs to post-baby realities, we unpack the expectations that shape how women feel in their skin. Then we get practical about surgery: choosing a qualified surgeon over a bargain, sizing with restraint, understanding incision options, and why warranties and the 10-year mark matter more than most people think. Our guest, David (@dm.shoots2), is a photographer who’s seen more varieties of breasts than most doctors’ brochures. He breaks down what looks natural on camera, how placement and material affect the final look on lean bodies, and the truth about “cheap” work that leads to shelf lines and rippling. We compare saline deflation to silicone’s slower leaks, debate over-the-muscle vs under-the-muscle, and talk capsular contracture, recovery discipline, and the surprising ways clothing and confidence shift after surgery. There’s a creator economy angle too. Social platforms push tame versions of boudoir while real demand lives on OnlyFans and Patreon. We talk licensing, exclusivity, and how photographers and models build ethical, profitable systems that respect consent, comfort, and creative control. Through it all, one theme holds: every breast is unique. Even with the same surgeon and implant, bodies tell their own stories. The winning strategy is choosing the look that fits your life—natural slope or full projection, subtle side boob or bold upper pole—and owning it without apology. Want more candid conversations about body image, cosmetic choices, and confidence you can actually use? Follow, share with a friend, and leave a review to tell us what questions you want answered next. - Support the show

    1h 4m

  5. 12/16/2025

    Crunch, Play, Repeat

    Send us a text Ever wonder what your year in music says about your actual life? We dive into our stats and instantly hit a fork in the road: one of us is a pop punk lifer (Alkaline Trio, Sum 41, Paramore), the other a card-carrying rave kid with a soft spot for hip hop and a surprisingly cozy country streak thanks to car rides with the kids. Along the way, sourdough crunch ASMR makes a cameo, and so does the most honest truth of all: your platform and your day-to-day routines decide what really plays. We compare Apple Music and Spotify quirks, talk about how minutes listened can lie when you sample thousands of tracks, and laugh at how a single 36-song album can dominate a season because it’s safe for the school pickup line. Genres become a mood map: dance and electronic for the gym, hip hop to keep energy up, alternative rock for everything in between, plus unexpected oldies and folk-rock detours with Lord Huron and The Cranberries. We also get into the Euphoria soundtrack effect, why full albums still matter, and how teaching workout classes quietly skews top songs with instrumental bangers that hit just right. If you’ve ever built a “me in music” playlist or sworn off shuffle because it ruins a lift, you’ll feel seen. If you love the chaos of going from Eminem to sixties pop in one car ride, you’ll feel seen too. By the end, you’ll have practical ideas for organizing your listening around your real routines—workouts, commutes, kid-safe drives—and a fresh way to read your Wrapped or Replay as a story rather than a scorecard. Press play, then tell us your top artist and which lineup you vibe with more. Subscribe, share with a friend who has the opposite taste, and leave a review with your top three genres for the year. - Support the show

    46 min

  6. 12/08/2025

    Society Peaked In the 90s

    Send us a text The brighter the colors, the bigger the smile—remember when fast food had mascots, Taco Bell had a talking chihuahua, and McDonald’s seats looked like fries? We dive into why the 90s felt alive and playful, and why today’s beige minimalism leaves so many of us craving the loud, weird energy of that decade. From TGIF and Blockbuster pizza nights to candy stores and sleepovers, we map the rituals that made Friday feel safe and special. We also pull apart the media shift: local news that felt grounded vs the modern clickbait machine where corrections never catch up. That change reshaped how safe we feel, how we parent, and how we trust strangers. Along the way we revisit the toys and shows that stuck—Rugrats, Doug, Hey Arnold, Rocco’s Modern Life, Ren and Stimpy—and why sly, adult-wink humor aged better than most reboots. Our tour hits music too: 90s country with heart, alternative and ska you can dance to, and the eternal Backstreet vs NSYNC debate that still lights up group chats. Technology was charmingly inconvenient—payphones, answering machines, floppy disks—and that friction gave daily life texture. Airports let you hug at the gate, diners had smoking sections, and you could disappear until the streetlights came on without anyone spiraling. We’re not stuck in the past; we’re borrowing what worked: color that invites play, rituals that bring people home, and media boundaries that protect our sanity. Hit play, share your favorite 90s memory, and tell us what you’d bring back first. If this episode sparks a grin, follow, rate, and pass it to a friend who still knows every TGIF theme song. - Support the show

    41 min

  7. 12/01/2025

    I Tried To Sleep In Silence And My Brain Said NOPE

    Send us a text Silence isn’t silent for everyone. We open with the weird whoosh of tinnitus and how a quiet bedroom can feel louder than a city street, then work our way through sleep debt, anxiety, and the hopeful promise of habits that actually stick. One of us lives by a structured wind-down and eight-hour average; the other battles insomnia, racing thoughts, and the urge to clear every notification before bed. That contrast fuels a practical, funny, and unfiltered look at what real rest takes when life is full and emotions run high. We compare Whoop and Fitbit beyond the marketing—sleep debt vs sleep efficiency, readiness vs recovery, and how HRV, resting heart rate, and restorative stages map to the way you feel when you wake up. There’s also the all-too-relatable moment when a wearable congratulates a “workout” that was actually a panic spike in a crowded store. The takeaway: use data for patterns, not punishment. If your brain is buzzing, it’s not a character flaw; it’s a cue to try different inputs—brown noise, earplugs, earlier wind-downs, and boundaries around late-night scrolls. We get honest about emotional fatigue during the holidays, grief anniversaries that hit harder in the dark, and the rare times we actually call each other instead of stuffing it down. Safety gets real too: drowsy driving, rumble strips, and why pulling into a rest stop for a 20-minute nap can be the most responsible move of the night. We wrap with caffeine guardrails, small habit swaps that lower cortisol, and a reminder that consistent routines beat heroic fixes. Rest isn’t a reward you earn; it’s a resource you protect. If this resonates, tap follow, share this with a friend who needs permission to sleep, and leave a quick review telling us your go-to trick for quieting a loud mind. - Support the show

    46 min

  8. 11/24/2025

    If Trauma Had A Delete Button, My Ex Would Be First In Line

    Send us a text What would you trade for peace of mind—a full year of your memory, a single person who did damage, or nothing at all? We crack open a messy, honest thought experiment and chase it through the real costs: identity, relationships, and the lessons that only hard seasons can teach. The premise sounds merciful—wipe the worst twelve months, skip the grief, dodge the chaos—but the ripple effects are ruthless. If those months built your boundaries and instincts, deleting them might also delete the wisdom you use to stay safe now. We walk through the edge cases: picking a “boring” year, erasing only one person Eternal Sunshine‑style, and why pattern recognition matters more than clean timelines. The conversation gets personal—sober choices that changed the arc, manipulation that took time to unlearn, and the way self‑awareness can make you cringe before it makes you better. We also let humor breathe the heavy parts: ADHD love languages (object permanence affection is real), time blindness as a dragon you have to slay to show up on time, and the absurdity of the “boy aquarium” at a hockey game. The stories get unhinged and human, but the throughline stays clear: you don’t become stronger by forgetting; you become safer by integrating. If you’ve ever wished for a delete button on your past—after a breakup, a loss, or a season that still echoes—this conversation offers a grounded alternative. Keep the memories, mine them for meaning, and level up without repeating the same boss fight. Hit play for honest takes, dark humor, and practical reflections on trauma, resilience, ADHD, sobriety, and friendship that shows up with snacks, rides, and the truth. Enjoyed this one? Subscribe, rate five stars, and share with a friend who might be tempted by the “erase” button. Then tell us: if you could erase one year—or one person—would you do it, and why? - Support the show

    1 hr
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Ratings & Reviews

4
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

We Are Not the Same: Join our comedic journey as Bodybuilder Barbie flexes her muscles against Daria’s dry wit! Dive into the hilarity of life’s twists and turns through the eyes of two contrasting besties who prove that different perspectives lead to the best stories. Tune in for laughs, randomness, and a sprinkle of chaos! 

Information

  • Creator
    Heather Gardner and Lacey Joseph
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    58
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 we are NOT the SAME
  • Show Website
    we are NOT the SAME

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