We're Dating the Same Guy

Madden Zappa
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We're Dating the Same Guy uncovers the dating patterns we all repeat—whether we realize it or not—and, more importantly, how to break them. From attachment styles and intimacy to feminine and masculine energy, red flags, self-sabotage, and rebuilding your relationship with yourself, we dive deep into what’s really driving your love life. With expert guests and real-life dating stories, these raw, eye-opening conversations will help you stop dating on autopilot. If we don’t change our patterns, we’re just dating the same guy… over and over again. It’s time to date differently.

  1. 2D AGO

    EP 48: Great at Dating, Terrible at Relationships: A Celebrity Matchmaker's Unfiltered Truth ft. Alessandra Conti

    You've been on the dates. You've felt the spark — or you haven't. You've told yourself you have a "type." You've stayed friendly with your ex "just because." And you've done all of it while genuinely believing you're ready for a relationship. But what if most of what you've been taught about dating is quietly working against you? This week, Madden sat down with Alessandra Conti — Celebrity Matchmaker and co-founder of Matchmakers In The City in Beverly Hills to talk about the single biggest mistake daters make (going for chemistry instead of character), what a man's Instagram following actually tells you, and the real reason why men who are great at dating are usually terrible in relationships. Then we go fully off-script — into whether men and women can actually just be friends, and why staying in contact with your ex isn't harmless, it's self-sabotage. This one is going to make you want to text your group chat immediately. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: Why chemistry-chasing is keeping you in the same loop — and the question Alessandra says to ask insteadThe one Instagram red flag that tells you a man isn't ready for a relationshipCan men and women actually be just friends? (We have opinions.)Why staying friends with your ex is an avoidant attachment pattern — not just a personality traitHyperindependence as a trauma response and how to start letting people in"People are going for chemistry and not going for character. And this is where we are — welcome to 2026 and the wild, wild west of dating. It's not that chemistry doesn't matter. It's that character is the thing that sustains a relationship once the butterflies quiet down. And most people aren't vetting for character at all." - Alessandra Conti CONNECT WITH ALESSANDRA CONTI: Alessandra Conti is a Celebrity Matchmaker and co-founder of Matchmakers In The City, a personal matchmaking firm based in Beverly Hills. She has served as the matchmaker for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, NBC's Access Hollywood, TLC's My Big Fat Fabulous Life, and two seasons of MTV's Are You The One. Her advice has been featured in Forbes, The New York Times, The LA Times, and Fox News. Over nearly 14 years, Alessandra has worked with clients ranging from royalty to young professionals, leading a team of six matchmakers responsible for hundreds of marriages. Alessandra's Instagram: @matchmakeralessandraconti Matchmakers In The City: @matchmakersinthecity Matchmakers In The City Website LOVE LAB & MORE 🎟️ Love Lab Live Dating Event – Minneapolis, May 4th 📥 Free PDF Guide: The 9 Dating Personalities (deeper breakdown of every pattern) CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST MADDEN ZAPPA: Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making. Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠ STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY: We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠ Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠ ✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

    1h 2m

  2. APR 7

    EP 47: You Don't Have a Type, You Have a Pattern: 9 Dating Patterns Quietly Sabotaging Your Love Life

    Have you ever looked back at everyone you've dated and thought… wait, why does this keep happening? This week Madden breaks down something that's been living in her head for months — and honestly, it cracked something open for her in a really big way. It started with a simple comment from her best friend: "He's totally your type." And she couldn't let it go. Because she's always said she doesn't have a type. But here's what she realized — it was never about her type. It was about her pattern. In this solo episode, Madden walks you through 9 dating personalities she's identified from her own experience, her coaching practice, and the stories of so many women navigating dating. These aren't diagnoses. They're not labels. They're tools — for awareness, for self-understanding, and for finally starting to spot the behaviors that aren't serving you. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN Why your "type" is actually your pattern in disguiseThe 9 dating personalities: The Saleswoman, The Chameleon, The Bargainer, The Detective, The Dreamer, The Runner, The Project Manager, The Performer, and The Affirmation JunkieThe unique strength inside every single one of these patternsThe one shift each personality can make to start showing up differentlyWhy awareness alone isn't enough — and what comes next"Awareness is everything. And also — awareness is just the first step. What you do with your awareness, that's where the change actually starts to take place. That's the work. So which one hit home for you? Because knowing your pattern is one thing. Choosing differently is another." - Madden RESOURCES MENTIONED 📥 FREE 9 Dating Personalities Guide (deeper breakdown of every pattern) 🎟️ Love Lab Live Dating Event – Minneapolis, May 4th [LIMITED SPOTS- BOOK BEFORE IT FILLS UP]📲 Follow Madden on Instagram: @maddenzappa CONNECT WITH MADDEN ZAPPA: Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making. Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠ STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY: We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠ Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠ ✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

    39 min

  3. APR 7

    SEASON 3: Modern Dating Has a Problem — The Accountability Episode Nobody Asked For

    Welcome to Season 3 of We're Dating the Same Guy! After a few weeks off, Madden had a lot of time to reflect on modern dating, how Madden's showing up as a host, and the things that have been genuinely driving her crazy lately in the dating space. And she's done keeping them in. In this season premiere, she's getting real about three things she keeps seeing that are quietly sabotaging our dating lives and stories we're holding on to that are not serving us. This episode isn't about blame. It's about awareness — the kind that actually leads somewhere. And it's a preview of exactly what Season 3 is about: going deeper, getting more honest, and having the conversations that aren't always comfortable but are absolutely necessary. RESERVE YOUR SPACE FOR THE LOVE LAB A never before seen LIVE dating event coming to Minneapolis on May 4! Spots are limited to 40 individuals. LEARN MORE AND BOOK YOUR TICKET HERE. Why "there are no good men out there" might be the most damaging thing you can say — and what it's actually doing to your dating energy and the culture around yoUThe real reason meeting people organically isn't working (hint: it's not just bad luck)Why wanting a relationship and being ready for one are two very different thingsHow to honestly assess whether you have the time, energy, and bandwidth to show up fully in a relationship right nowWhat accountability in dating actually looks like — without letting anyone off the hook for bad behaviorWhy the most uncomfortable dating conversations are usually the most necessary ones"Dating right now is a double-edged sword. You say you don't want to meet someone on the apps, that you want to meet people in the wild — but what actions are you actually taking for that to happen? And then when someone does approach you in public, so many people are turned off. Y'all, we can't have it both ways."  - Madden Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making. Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠ STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY: We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠ Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠ ✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

    32 min

  4. FEB 24

    EP 45: Is it Chemistry or Just Anxiety? The Dating Pattern Anxious Attachers Need to Hear

    Have you ever left a date feeling butterflies and obsessive thoughts and assumed it meant real chemistry? What if that feeling wasn't chemistry at all — what if it was anxiety? Y'all, they can feel almost identical. And if you've been confusing the two your whole dating life, this episode is going to be a game-changer. Madden breaks down the three key variables that are actually at play every time you start dating someone — anxiety, chemistry, and compatibility — and how understanding the difference between them can completely transform the way you date. She shares three personal stories from her own dating life that illustrate exactly what each of these dynamics looks and feels like in the real world: a connection that was pure chemistry (but zero compatibility), a man who was everything on paper (but the attraction just wasn't there), and what it actually feels like to finally build something from a stable, secure place. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: Why chemistry and anxiety feel so similar — especially for anxious attachersHow to check in with your body after a date to assess what you're actually feelingThe three variables (anxiety, chemistry, compatibility) and how they can show up in every combinationWhat the "holy grail" combination actually feels like — and why it might seem boring at firstWhy chemistry can get you hooked, but compatibility is what keeps you togetherWhat happens in your body when anxiety is fading vs. when chemistry is fadingWhy healthy love can feel uncomfortable if you're used to chaos"If it's not a hell yes, it's a no. Every single person deserves to date someone that when asked that question, it's a hell yes." - Madden Zappa CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST MADDEN ZAPPA: Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to  help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making. Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠ STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY: We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠ Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠ ✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

    31 min

  5. FEB 17

    EP 44: Did Disney Ruin My Dating Life? Girl Boss, Soft Girl Era… or Something In Between? with Angie Lee

    Are you an ambitious woman who's been told you're "too much"? Or have you bought into the idea that you need to choose between crushing it in your career and having a fulfilling relationship? This conversation with Angie Lee is going to completely shift how you think about ambition, feminine energy, and what it really means to build a life you love. Angie is a college dropout turned multi-million dollar entrepreneur, keynote speaker, and content creator who's been in the game for over 15 years. We're diving deep into how ambition shows up differently in business versus relationships, why the soft girl era is actually hurting women, and how to navigate masculine and feminine energy without losing yourself in the process. If you've ever felt like you had to dim your drive to be loved, questioned whether you can "have it all," or wondered why your relationship feels like work when your career feels easy (or vice versa), this episode is for you. Angie shares the uncomfortable truth about what happened when she tried to stop working completely, how her partner literally told her "this won't work unless you get back to your work," and why Disney sold us a lie that's still messing with our relationships today. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: The false choice between girl boss and trad wife—and why the answer is neitherHow creative suppression is killing women's mental health and relationshipsWhy men need respect more than love (and what that actually means)The princess complex and how it's secretly disrespecting your partnerWhat women actually want: optionality and work they love, not to do nothingHow to shift between masculine energy in business and feminine energy in relationshipsThe most attractive thing about a woman (hint: it's not what you think)Why your relationship struggles might mirror your business struggles"Your relationship is the foundation of your life. When we aren't doing well, it is harder for me to show up. And vice versa, when you're in such a great season of your relationship, you can take that fuel and it enhances whatever you're doing." - Angie Lee CONNECT WITH ANGIE LEE: Angie Lee is a college and corporate dropout who built multiple seven- and eight-figure brands without following anyone else's blueprint. At 19, she started a health and wellness blog that eventually exploded into a full content creation career spanning 15+ years. She's the co-founder of Soul gummies (a health and wellness brand), a powerhouse keynote speaker, podcaster, and social media expert who's mastered the art of being unapologetically herself online. Angie Lee's Instagram: @angieleeshow Angie's Website CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST MADDEN ZAPPA: Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making. Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠ STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY: We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠ Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠ ✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

    47 min

  6. FEB 14

    EP 43: Single on Valentine's Day? The Questions Nobody's Asking

    This Valentine's Day, you don't need another article telling you how to cope with being single. You don't need tips for surviving the day or substitutes for what you actually want. In this solo episode, host Madden challenges the three dominant narratives around Valentine's Day—the "you don't need anyone" approach, the "here's how to get through it" mindset, and the "celebrate with friends instead" substitute—and offers something deeper: three questions that will help you understand what you truly want and where you're wanting from. Drawing from personal experience including a past relationship where she felt profoundly lonely despite being partnered, Madden shares the powerful moon phases tattoo story that reminds her she's always whole, even when she doesn't feel complete. She explores the critical difference between wanting love to fill an emptiness versus wanting love as a container to share your wholeness with, and why both truths can exist simultaneously: you can deeply crave love AND know you are complete. This episode is for anyone—single, partnered, or somewhere in between—who's tired of surface-level Valentine's Day advice and ready to get honest about desire, wholeness, and what authentic love actually feels like. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: Why the three common Valentine's Day approaches all miss the pointThe difference between wanting love from emptiness versus wanting from fullnessHow to recognize whether you're accepting substitutes for what you truly craveA powerful practice of writing a love letter from your future selfWhy you can want partnership and feel complete at the exact same time"Wholeness, being complete, isn't about not wanting anything. It's about wanting from a full place instead of an empty one. That's the shift that changes everything in how you date." - Madden Zappa CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST MADDEN ZAPPA: Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making. Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠ STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY: We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠ Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠ ✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

    35 min

  7. FEB 10

    EP 42: Burnout, Boredom & Autopilot: The Real Reason Dating Feels So Hard

    Ever feel like you're just going through the motions on dates? Asking the same questions, having the same conversations, dating the same types of people over and over? You're not alone—and you're probably dating on autopilot. In this solo episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on something that's been showing up in both my nine-to-five life as a fitness instructor and my dating life: the difference between being a student and being on autopilot. When I started learning a new class format after teaching for nearly a decade, I noticed something. The same feelings of discomfort, vulnerability, and fear of judgment that came up while teaching? They're the exact same feelings we experience in dating. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: Why the moment you think you've figured out dating is the moment you stop growingHow autopilot mode creates disconnection (even in long-term relationships)The uncomfortable truth about feedback and why we get so defensiveWhy not everyone is going to like you—and why that's actually a good thingPractical ways to step out of autopilot and back into curiosity"If you're not staying curious about your partner, you're no longer a student of your relationship. And eventually one day you could wake up with someone next to you and realize that they're a stranger." - Madden Zappa CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: MADDEN ZAPPA Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making. Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠ STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY: We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠ Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠ ✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

    34 min

  8. JAN 27

    EP 41: Am I in a Situationship? Why It's So Hard to Walk Away

    Let's talk about that person you keep going back to even though you know better! In this raw, vulnerable solo episode, I'm sharing my 18-month situationship saga—the hot and cold dynamic, the false promises, and the moment I finally closed the door for good on January 1st. If you've ever felt confused about where you stand, made excuses for inconsistent behavior, or held onto hope that "this time will be different," this episode is your permission slip to want more. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: The 4 types of situationships (and which one keeps you most hooked)Why we confuse intensity with intimacy—and how that keeps us stuckThe psychology behind anxious-avoidant dynamics in undefined relationshipsHow to assess your non-negotiables before having "the talk"The three-month rule: when to define the relationship or walk awayWhy "if he wanted to, he would" isn't harsh—it's honestHow dating other people can open to yours to what you were settling for"Staying in a situationship where there's a lack of clarity is you also choosing uncertainty just on the other side. So what's harder? Sitting in the uncertainty with someone where you're not sure where this is ever going to go, or having the conversation and receiving the clarity you need and potentially then experiencing the uncertainty of no longer being in the situationship? The latter opens you up to then actually meeting someone and dating someone who could be a much better match for you long term." - Madden Zappa CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: MADDEN ZAPPA Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making. Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠ STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY: We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠ Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠ ✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

    35 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
7 Ratings

About

We're Dating the Same Guy uncovers the dating patterns we all repeat—whether we realize it or not—and, more importantly, how to break them. From attachment styles and intimacy to feminine and masculine energy, red flags, self-sabotage, and rebuilding your relationship with yourself, we dive deep into what’s really driving your love life. With expert guests and real-life dating stories, these raw, eye-opening conversations will help you stop dating on autopilot. If we don’t change our patterns, we’re just dating the same guy… over and over again. It’s time to date differently.

Information

  • Creator
    Madden Zappa
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    49
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Madden Zappa
  • Show Website
    We're Dating the Same Guy