Western Promises

WesternPromises

Beaumont, Paris, and Kevin lead you through the troubled wasteland of funkopops, disney adults, marvel movies, and bad opinions to the refreshing oasis of good opinions, firm convictions, mushy buffet-style ideology, and genuine camaraderie. Also just kidding if youre upset at anything or whatever.

  1. 193 Armored_Core_rule_34_18_and_up.mov

    JAN 25

    193 Armored_Core_rule_34_18_and_up.mov

    hey

    1h 9m
  2. 192 Ooda Loop

    09/08/2025

    192 Ooda Loop

    lets get this out of the way: the audio is probably not as good as it has been and I want everyone to fully understand that it is Kevin's fault. Apparently his webcam has some sort of curse or possibly a djin living inside of it and when plugged in, injects an endless torrent of chaos and blood magik into his computer and all who are connected to it. But we still did the work. Ooda loops is what is on the menu today. ✅This is a professional, casual episode description for your podcast. The lighthearted, irreverent tone matches the overall vibe of the show and is sure to entice listeners to tune in. Let me know if you would like me to provide you with a few alternate options that have different tones and feels.

    1h 3m
  3. 191 RIP King Cobra JFS

    08/24/2025

    191 RIP King Cobra JFS

    There is not much else to say. King Cobra JFS was the best of them. He did not deserve the end he got. He lived a hard life and went out way too soon. I am wasted on a drink combo right now in cobe's honor, so I dont have much else to say that hasnt already been said. F**k sickos, hail satan.

    1h 53m
  4. 190 Mobyheads

    08/09/2025

    190 Mobyheads

    Hey Facebook, I know probably out there enjoying your day, but right now we gotta talk about something for real right now. There's a serpent out there. You know what mean? It's came to me several times. You know what mean? Won't leave. You know what I mean? All I'm trying to tell you is you got somebody talking in your head. You know I mean? That is most likely the serpent. You feel me? That's where I'm f*****g at. So forgive me for cursing. I know the Lord loves us. Amen. I'm sorry for all of us, though I know the Lord defeats them all. Get with the Lord. And how about we just go ahead and pray to the Lord in the schools? Okay. Here's a pledge of allegiance to the flag of United States of America. The United States of America in the Republic for which we stand one nation under God under God indivisible individually indivisible... who knows. They get the lyric my first take in mind I'm telling you now we put them all back in the schools hey in God we trust hey you see all these faces on these dollar bills put them on there on their headstones. Feel me? Caesar? Who's on that? Who's on that nickel? Who's on that nickel? Huh? Or coin or whatever? It was Caesar, right? We'll give to Caesar what? Caesar. What is Caesar's? You know what mean? And they get rid of all your f*****g possessions. And I feel that. I feel that. Because none of that's worth anything. I love you all out there, I'm serious. Thank you. And I had to get it, as soon as I found out, I had to get it. I had to get it out there to you. Not really soon, but I've been going through hell, talking, talking, talking, what, what? I'm telling you, I love you all out there. Be safe, brothers and sisters. Freedom in Christ, freedom in Christ. The speech, bite the tongue, babe. I'm out.

    1h 23m
  5. 189 Our Flag Was Still There

    07/18/2025

    189 Our Flag Was Still There

    Fans of the genre rejoice, for our flag was still there. So far, the experience has been a mixed bag but eager listeners will be champing at the bit right up until the doors unlock and crisp recycled air greets their glassy eyes and chapped lips. The routine is comfortable and expected; autopilot. highway hypnosis. is this new? is there something novel to discover or do our feet only fall in tracks laid by those who came before us? even still, they dont fit exactly. the rubber of our soles crushes the borders of the shoeprint, altering it slightly. by addition or subtraction, we have altered the world. maybe not for our predecessors, but certainly for everyone behind us, those so hard to imagine but who, without a doubt exist. waiting patiently, just as we were, for our chance to make an impact. to experience anything, something: this. use promo code WesterP25 for 25% off your first order of Gorilla Nut, the only supplement that will make you cum so much.

    1h 9m
  6. 188 BBQ Jr

    06/13/2025

    188 BBQ Jr

    "I love music. It makes my hear sing."

    1h 21m
  7. 187 Phil from WatchMojo

    06/07/2025

    187 Phil from WatchMojo

    And remember... its just a podcast that's a week late! Sorry for disappointing everyone, please don't hate us, we can't take the Discord messages and Instagram DMs of people calling us losers and saying how much we've ruined their lives. Look, here's the thing - we're 3 men bordering middle age who live a life of mild luxury, some real executives, some real movers and shakers in our respective careers but we struggle - BOY do we struggle - with the expectations set upon us by our loved ones and our jobs. Think something like an episode of Mad Men or a song by The National - upper middle class white collar workers CAN suffer and are the frequent victims of existential crises. We turn this suffering into beautiful art where we listen to a deeply unwell, subnormal IQ man "review" video games in the 2000s. There are no online possibilities. But there is Japanese animation. And most importantly, you can't make a black or Chinese character in The Godfather PS2 game.

    1h 17m
  8. 186 YN Sheldon

    05/09/2025

    186 YN Sheldon

    hey look it happens sometimes

    1h 12m
See All (132)

Trailers

4.4
out of 5
26 Ratings

About

Beaumont, Paris, and Kevin lead you through the troubled wasteland of funkopops, disney adults, marvel movies, and bad opinions to the refreshing oasis of good opinions, firm convictions, mushy buffet-style ideology, and genuine camaraderie. Also just kidding if youre upset at anything or whatever.

Information

  • Creator
    WesternPromises
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    132
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © WesternPromises
  • Show Website
    Western Promises

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