In this podcast series Eleanor Haley and Litsa Williams, the two mental health professionals behind the grief website What's Your Grief, seek to leave no stone unturned in demystifying the complicated and sometimes crazy experience of living life after loss.
One digestible topic at a time, Haley and Williams distill topics ranging from grief theory to coping. Grievers and grief professionals alike will find their approach practical, relatable, informative and engaging. Grief is sad and confusing, but your grief support doesn't have to be.
After a death we do a lot of looking backwards. We think about what we should have known or done differently. We imagine a different world, and ideal world, if things had just taken another path. This becomes wound up in our grief - we beat ourselves up for the past based on things we can only know in the present. In this episode we talk through what that looks like, why we do it, and how to avoid getting sucked too far down the blackholes of counterfactual thinking and hindsight bias in grief.
What we believe about grief often starts from a young age. We get messages from family, friends, community, and the media about what grief is 'supposed' to look like. Those messages become beliefs and those beliefs have a very real impact on the way we judge our grief (and often ourselves!). Today we're talking about the ins and outs - where to we get these ideas about grieving and how to they affect us?
Is Grief Ever 'On Hold'?
Terms like delayed grief and absent grief get thrown around a lot. Recently, people have been suggesting that distancing may be putting people's grief 'on hold'. In this episode, we talk about whether grief is ever 'on hold', how external circumstances can have a very real impact on grieving, and why delayed grief can sometimes happen. Oh, and we do some musing about our own grief.
Grief Math and Other Musings
In this episode we ramble and reflect out loud a bit, so don't say we didn't warn you. Thinking about the ways grief has us doing mental math calculations up, down, and sideways. How old would he be now? She's been gone longer than we were married . . . How many more years until I am the age he was when he died? And on and on. Talking about grief math and the what-ifs and doing some personal processing of our own grieving as we go.
Positive Psychology, Grief, and PERMA
Though positive psychology may sound like a field that is all about just thinking happy thoughts, nothing could be further from the truth. This well-researched, practical approach to boosting well-being is a WYG when it comes to grief and coping. In this episode we're talking about PERMA and challenging you to some momentum from the school of positive psychology.
A Lesson in Avoiding Avoidance
When the world changes, the way we operate in the world has to change. Grief forces us to make new decisions about the things we do, the things we don't do, and how we cope. Today we talk about how so many of those decisions may feel good in the short term, but often don't serve us in the long-run. Avoidance sounds like it is obvious, but sometimes it hides in corners we don't even recognize.
Audio needs improvement
Great content and such a novel, important concept! Loved the episode on losing “home.” There is a persistent “buzz” in the background that makes it hard to listen; perhaps invest in a better mic, as this content is great and would be wonderful for people to be able to listen to.
I can’t say enough good!
This podcast has been such a blessing to me. I lost a loved one a little over two months ago, and I couldn’t get through the long work days without this in my ear. Both hosts do an amazing job. Thank you for providing this resource... it makes a difference!
International Barriers to Grief during COVID-19
Would love some guidance on how to grieve during C19 when your sister in Australia dies suddenly/tragically/suspiciously during Covid (non-covid related death) and you live in the USA. With Australian borders closed I was not able to attend funeral or celebration of life, I feel completely in denial about my sisters passing yet I know it’s true. Any guidance would be appreciated.