When I Stop Fighting - The Podcast

Daryl Dittmer

When I Stop Fighting - The Podcast is about understanding the battles we wage with ourselves and the world, through the stories of people who have been there. We also discuss strategies to help alleviate those fights in our lives. Ultimately, it's about how to live a contented and successful life by focusing our attention on improving ourselves.

  1. 11/12/2025

    Healing Beyond the Badge: Daniel Fendley’s Journey from Trauma to Recovery

    In this powerful podcast episode, Daryl Dittmer welcomes Daniel Fendley, a former law enforcement officer whose life was profoundly shaped by trauma, addiction, and eventual recovery. Daniel recounts his early years, marked by a relentless drive for purpose and achievement, which ultimately led him into policing. Despite initial enthusiasm, years of exposure to high-risk situations and a culture that discouraged vulnerability left him burdened by unprocessed trauma. Daniel describes how he coped by bottling up his pain, leading to self-destructive behaviors and a spiraling descent into alcoholism and addiction. His breaking point came when he realized that his identity and well-being were at risk, prompting him to seek help and enter rehab. Recovery, Daniel explains, was neither linear nor easy. He shares how initial resistance gave way to acceptance as he learned to confront his vulnerabilities and unpack the metaphorical “suitcase” of trauma he had carried for years. Therapy and honest self-reflection were crucial in his journey, allowing him to understand the roots of his addiction and work toward healing. Fenley emphasizes the importance of honesty, responsibility, and changing one’s environment as cornerstones of effective recovery. Both he and Daryl discuss the transformative power of vulnerability, particularly for men raised to equate strength with emotional suppression. Writing became a key therapeutic outlet for Daniel, culminating in several memoirs—"Unprescribed," "Four Letter Word," and the forthcoming "Wounded in Uniform." He describes how translating his pain into words not only aided his own healing but also offered hope and guidance to others facing similar struggles. Danial highlights the necessity of sharing one’s story and breaking the silence around mental health, addiction, and the pressures of service-oriented professions. Through his advocacy and honest storytelling, he aims to help others find the courage to seek help and embrace authenticity. The conversation concludes with reflections on the ongoing nature of recovery and the pursuit of contentment over perfection. Danial urges those beginning their own journey to seek peace rather than self-punishment, and to accept themselves with quiet honesty. Both men agree that true healing lies not in denying past difficulties, but in embracing them as catalysts for growth and deeper self-understanding. By letting go of shame and striving for authenticity, Daniel shows that it is possible to rebuild a meaningful life—even after losing everything. Find Daniel here: 📚 Author of *Unprescribed* , *Four Letter Word*  & *Wounded In Uniform* 🔗 www.amazon.com/author/danielfendley   🔗 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/danielfendley   Instagram: @the_Wounded_Series

    59 min
  2. 11/05/2025

    Rising Above: The Story and Wisdom of Pauline Victoria

    This episode of When I Stop Fighting – The Podcast introduces Pauline Victoria, an inspirational leader and founder of One Leg Up Productions, who was born without arms and legs. Pauline shares her journey of overcoming physical and societal limitations, attributing her resilience and success to the foundation of faith, love, and "tough love" her parents provided. From an early age, she was encouraged to face challenges independently, fostering a mindset that embraced frustration and uncertainty as opportunities for growth. Her personal anecdotes—such as learning to swim without arms and legs—underscore her belief that courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to act despite it, driven by a deep desire to belong and participate fully in life. Pauline emphasizes the importance of personal power, rooted in self-belief and self-worth, which she developed by repeatedly choosing action over comfort. She highlights how small victories, like finding creative ways to achieve everyday tasks, slowly build confidence and reinforce one’s sense of capability. The discussion explores the idea that true freedom comes from exercising choice, regardless of external circumstances. Pauline illustrates that while society may try to define or limit individuals, it is ultimately up to each person to decide how much power they give to outside opinions or obstacles. A key theme in the conversation is the practice of presence and faith. Pauline and Daryl discuss the value of living in the moment and being receptive to the messages and opportunities life presents. They reflect on the role of faith—both in oneself and in a higher power—in navigating discomfort and uncertainty. Pauline shares how her spiritual foundation, encapsulated by her mother’s words "thy will be done," continues to guide her actions and decisions, motivating her to pursue a purpose larger than personal comfort. The episode concludes with Pauline describing her current work, including masterminds and coaching programs that empower thought leaders to step into their full potential. She advocates for continual growth, humility, and openness to learning, emphasizing that everyone has the potential to transform their story into a source of strength and inspiration for others. Pauline’s message is a powerful reminder that confidence and fulfillment arise from embracing challenges, taking action, and remaining true to one’s vision and values. Find Pauline here: www.OneLegUpProductions.com Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/1H9ZOfXi5HFy1HofNYtnHz FB Group: https://ww.facebook.com/groups/madeformoreimpactandincome FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/onelegupproductionsllc IG: @onelegupproductions YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1LexyRvhmrDQWowhbdjiVQ?view_as=subscriber

    1h 1m
  3. 10/29/2025

    Building the Faith Muscle: Spiritual Bravery and the Journey of Transformation

    In this episode of "When I Stop Fighting the Podcast," host Daryl Dittmer is joined by ordained pastor and coach Kristen Wambach to explore the concept of spiritual bravery. The conversation opens with reflections on the chaos of daily life and the lifelong process of merging spiritual calling with everyday existence. Kristen shares her journey from inheriting faith traditions to experiencing a transformative awakening, describing how spiritual growth involves actively building a "faith muscle" through practices like journaling, honoring intuition, and embracing personal vulnerability. Both speakers agree that faith is not static but must be nurtured through conscious effort, openness, and a willingness to let go of control. The metaphor of life as a bus ride underscores much of the discussion, illustrating how people must choose to "get on the bus" and allow faith to guide them. Daryl and Kristen emphasize that surrender—often prompted by difficulty or pain—is a crucial step toward authentic spiritual living. They reflect on the importance of making conscious choices about what beliefs, relationships, and habits to keep or discard, likening these decisions to picking up or leaving behind treasures found on a beach. This process, they suggest, is both challenging and liberating, leading to greater self-awareness and deeper spiritual connection. A significant portion of the dialogue addresses the role of grace and self-love in personal transformation. Kristen describes her experiences with inner healing and how genuine self-acceptance emerges not from self-criticism but from sitting "on the beach" with God, who offers unconditional presence rather than judgment. Both guests highlight the importance of honoring insights and lessons as they arise, recognizing that growth is often gradual and shaped by repeated experiences until new patterns take hold. Gratitude and humility are presented as essential attitudes for maintaining spiritual flow and resilience. The discussion concludes with practical wisdom for building and sustaining faith. Daryl and Kristen acknowledge the complexities of navigating relationships, particularly with those who are not yet ready to change or try. They advocate for healthy boundaries, kindness without self-sacrifice, and an ongoing commitment to personal growth. Ultimately, they encourage listeners to seek quiet moments for reflection, to honor the small revelations of daily life, and to trust that the journey of faith—though sometimes marked by difficulty—leads to restoration, clarity, and a deeper sense of purpose. Find Kristen here: https://www.kristenwambach.com/

    1h 6m
  4. 10/22/2025

    Unpacking Growth, Change, and Connection: An Introspective Conversation

    In this episode of "When I Stop Fighting the Podcast," host Daryl Dittmer sits down with his wife, Kristina, for a deeply personal and candid conversation about growth, self-discovery, and the evolution of their relationship. They reflect on how sharing stories—through writing and dialogue—can unearth deeper layers of understanding, even after decades together. Kristina describes how reading Daryl’s book allowed her to see new facets of his character, illustrating the value of vulnerability and honest self-examination within long-term partnerships. The discussion delves into their individual journeys of self-improvement and introspection. Kristina recounts her relentless drive from childhood through her corporate career, her experience as a mother, and the eventual realization that true fulfillment required slowing down and looking inward. Both Daryl and Kristina share how facing unresolved emotions and past experiences—rather than avoiding them—became a turning point for healing. They highlight the importance of working on oneself individually to strengthen the relationship as a whole, and acknowledge the ongoing, non-linear nature of personal growth. Kristina’s journey into the business of stock, option, and futures trading emerges as a metaphor and practical tool for self-exploration in Kristina’s recent life. She describes how the challenges of trading reveal emotional patterns and force her to confront impatience, control, and other ingrained tendencies. This journey prompts her to engage with spiritual practices, journaling, and support groups, further deepening her self-awareness. The couple also explores their evolving views on faith, control, and the role of a higher power, emphasizing openness to change and the liberation found in embracing uncertainty and humility. In closing, Kristina offers advice for listeners on the value of facing what we tend to avoid, and taking the first steps toward inner work, despite the discomfort it may bring. Both she and Daryl advocate for curiosity, ongoing learning, and releasing judgment—of oneself and others. They recommend resources that have aided their journeys and underscore the transformative power of honest conversations, both with loved ones and within ourselves, as the key to living a more authentic, loving, and fulfilling life.

    1h 8m
  5. 10/15/2025

    Stronger Than the Storm: The Journey of Felicity Ashley

    In this episode of "When I Stop Fighting the Podcast," host Daryl Dittmer speaks with Felicity Ashley, a mother of three, accomplished marketer, and one of fewer than 250 women to row an ocean—a feat made even more remarkable as she did so while unknowingly battling bowel cancer. Felicity’s story is one of resilience and transformation, as she moved from a high-powered business career to becoming a motivational speaker and best-selling author. The conversation opens with reflections on life’s storms, both external and internal, and the mindset required to overcome them. Felicity emphasizes the value of reframing adversity as a stepping stone and seizing opportunities to live fully and without regret. Both Daryl and Felicity share how life-threatening health challenges forced them to reevaluate their priorities and routines. For Felicity, her cancer diagnosis was a catalyst for a profound shift in perspective. She felt compelled to share her story, raising awareness about the importance of early diagnosis and inspiring others to be proactive about their health. The discussion highlights the critical role of mindset, self-care, and the formation of habits to support well-being and resilience. Felicity describes the unexpected joy and simplicity she experienced during her forty days at sea, which allowed her to reconnect with herself away from the noise of everyday life. Throughout the episode, Felicity advocates for an action-oriented approach to life—encouraging listeners to try, take risks, and view challenges as opportunities for growth. She and Daryl discuss the importance of discipline in maintaining a balanced life and preventing burnout, especially as responsibilities increase with age. Felicity shares how her daily routines, like morning exercise and cold plunges, have become essential for her mental and physical health, enabling her to remain resilient and focus on helping others. The conversation concludes with Felicity’s reflections on her speaking career and her memoir, "Stronger Than the Storm." She describes writing as a therapeutic process that allowed her to process her experiences and share them with authenticity. Felicity and Daryl agree that everyone possesses untapped strength, and that sharing personal stories can inspire and create positive change. Felicity’s journey stands as a testament to the power of mindset, resilience, and the ripple effect of courageously helping others by sharing one’s own story. Please find Felicity here: https://www.felicityashley.com/ https://www.instagram.com/felicityashleyspeaker/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/felicityashley/

    1h 1m
  6. 10/08/2025

    Transforming Pain into Purpose: An Interview with Shannon Kim

    This episode of "When I Stop Fighting the Podcast" features a heartfelt conversation between host Daryl Dittmer and guest Shannan Kym, an international award-winning author, TEDx speaker, and transformational mentor. Shannan shares her journey from a childhood marked by abuse, addiction, and trauma, to a life of self-discovery and empowerment. The discussion begins with reflections on the importance of connection and the serendipity of relationships formed through podcasting, emphasizing that people come into our lives for a reason—either to teach us or for us to learn from them. Shannan bravely recounts her upbringing in a family plagued by generational addiction, mental illness, and violence. As the youngest of eight children, she endured emotional and physical abuse, which deeply affected her sense of self-worth and identity. Despite attempts to escape through athletics and later battling her own addiction, Shannan describes hitting rock bottom before experiencing a powerful spiritual awakening. This turning point led her to prioritize her sobriety, self-love, and the well-being of her children, ultimately inspiring her to leave toxic relationships and environments. The conversation delves into the concept of "messes" in life, with both Daryl and Shannan agreeing that challenges and hardships are necessary for personal growth. Shannon emphasizes that taking responsibility and setting healthy boundaries are crucial steps toward healing. She explains how learning to love herself from within transformed her external world, attracting healthier relationships and opening new opportunities. Her journey illustrates how self-acceptance and the willingness to let go of the past can lead to profound change and happiness. As the episode concludes, Shannan offers insights into her upcoming book, "Finding the Answers Within You: Ten Pathways Toward Self-Discovery." She outlines the core themes, including awareness, clarity of desires, and the necessity of leaving unhealthy environments. Shannan’s message is one of hope, resilience, and the importance of gratitude—even for painful experiences—as they shape our paths and lead us to our true purpose. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own journeys and to recognize the power of taking charge of their lives, just as Shannan has done. Find Shannan here: https://www.shannankym.com https://www.selfdiscoverypathways.com

    1h 2m
  7. 10/01/2025

    Journey to Authentic Living: The Metaphysical Path of Jeannie Comeau

    This podcast episode of "When I Stop Fighting" features a conversation between host Daryl Dittmer and Jeannie Comeau, a metaphysician, evolutionary astrologer, and life purpose coach. Jeannie shares her unique background, having transitioned from a long career as a Fortune 500 executive in information technology to guiding individuals toward personal authenticity and purpose. Her story blends practical leadership with deep spiritual insight, emphasizing how everything in existence is energy and vibration, and how metaphysics seeks to answer questions about the nature of reality and our purpose in life. Jeannie recounts her upbringing as the fourth of nine children in a challenging environment, shaped by her mother's resilience after separating from an alcoholic father. She describes early responsibilities that developed her caretaker instincts and a sense of self-reliance. Overcoming financial hardship, she pursued education and a career in business and technology, eventually rising to senior leadership roles. Throughout her corporate journey, Jeannie was always drawn to metaphysical concepts and astrology, feeling a calling to help others understand themselves and their life lessons. The conversation delves into evolutionary astrology, which Jeannie describes as a tool for personal transformation rooted in the belief in reincarnation. According to Jeannie, each soul enters a lifetime to learn specific lessons, and evolutionary astrology helps illuminate the patterns, wounds, and growth opportunities present in an individual’s birth chart. She explains how understanding these cosmic energies can empower people to move toward their "North Star" or life purpose, letting go of limiting beliefs and societal expectations. Jeannie outlines her holistic coaching program, which combines evolutionary astrology, strength-based assessments, and practical planning to support clients on their journeys to self-discovery and fulfillment. She emphasizes the importance of serving others, the power of affirmations, and the need to go within for answers. The episode concludes with Jeannie inviting listeners to connect with her for readings, coaching, and her newsletter, highlighting that transformation is a lifelong process available to all who are ready to embrace it.

    1h 4m
  8. 09/24/2025

    The Power of Surrender: A Conversation on Healing, Spirituality, and Collective Growth

    This episode of "When I Stop Fighting" features a deep and heartfelt conversation between the host, Daryl Dittmer, and Phyllis Leavitt, a psychotherapist and author with decades of experience in healing trauma and exploring the intersection of psychology and spirituality. Phyllis shares her personal journey, marked by early childhood trauma and moments of profound divine connection, which inspired her writing and therapeutic practice. Her story highlights the importance of both psychological healing and spiritual awakening as intertwined paths toward wholeness, emphasizing that her darkest times were often illuminated by unexpected experiences of love and guidance from a higher source. A central theme of the discussion is the transformative power of surrender. Both Phyllis and the Daryl reflect on their own moments of "giving up"—not as defeat, but as a necessary release that opened them to deeper healing and spiritual insight. Phyllis recounts how, during her lowest points, surrendering led to receiving direct, compassionate guidance that became the basis for her first two books. This act of letting go is presented as essential for personal transformation, allowing individuals to move beyond the cycle of internal and external conflict and to access inner peace. The conversation expands to examine how individual healing can contribute to collective well-being. Drawing from her latest book, "America in Therapy," Phyllis advocates for bringing psychological and emotional health into national and societal conversations. She argues that much of societal dysfunction stems from unaddressed trauma and a cultural paradigm that prizes fighting and winning over vulnerability and connection. Both speakers stress the importance of creating safe spaces for vulnerability, embracing humility, and breaking cycles of victimization to foster compassion, cooperation, and lasting peace. Finally, the dialogue explores the relationship between religion, spirituality, and psychotherapy. Both participants discuss how spiritual growth often requires moving beyond rigid religious dogma to discover a personal, experiential connection with the divine. They note that faith is not static but develops through lived experience, healing, and openness to guidance. The episode concludes with an invitation to embrace vulnerability, seek help when needed, and plant seeds of compassion and understanding, both within ourselves and in the wider world, as the foundation for true healing and collective evolution. Find Phyllis at: https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.leavitt https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOdxqvDK9N421AZ5TTxqUgQ https://www.linkedin.com/in/phyllis-leavitt-630179255/ https://www.instagram.com/phyllis_e_leavitt/ https://twitter.com/PhyllisLeavitt2  https://substack.com/@phyllisleavitt1

    1h 4m

About

When I Stop Fighting - The Podcast is about understanding the battles we wage with ourselves and the world, through the stories of people who have been there. We also discuss strategies to help alleviate those fights in our lives. Ultimately, it's about how to live a contented and successful life by focusing our attention on improving ourselves.