Why, Dad?

Andrew Stolpestad, Paul Wandrey

Andrew, an aspiring dad, and Paul, a dad of two, dig deep to find out what it means to be/become the best dad possible, why it matters, and how to do so.

  1. A Paul Hot Take: Another Duosode

    14h ago

    A Paul Hot Take: Another Duosode

    In this duosode of the Why Dad? podcast, Paul and Andrew discuss a parenting influencer whose videos sparked questions about discipline, physical punishment, and teaching children resilience. The conversation begins with an influencer who requires his young son to run suicides (sprint drills) to earn video game time and claims that raising children is "no different than training a dog." While Paul sees value in teaching responsibility and hard work, he is troubled by the comparison and by the use of physical punishment as a primary training method. Throughout the discussion, they explore several key questions: Is physical punishment an appropriate form of discipline? Should children have to "earn" privileges through difficult tasks? What's the difference between meaningful responsibility and arbitrary hardship? How do parents teach resilience without simply demanding obedience? Paul reflects on his own upbringing, acknowledging that he may sometimes overcorrect because of negative experiences with strict discipline. Andrew offers a counterbalance, noting that learning to work for rewards is an important life lesson and that children should understand that privileges are not automatic. As they unpack the issue, both agree that context and purpose matter. Teaching children responsibility, discipline, and perseverance can be valuable—but those lessons should be tied to meaningful goals rather than arbitrary demands. The biggest concern is whether a child is being taught to think and grow as a person or simply being conditioned to obey. The episode concludes with three major takeaways: Parents should regularly evaluate their boundaries and expectations to ensure they are consistent, justified, and serving a meaningful purpose. Social media rarely tells the full story, and it's important not to jump to conclusions based on short clips or limited information. Children deserve explanations, not just commands. Parents should be able to articulate why a rule, responsibility, or challenge exists rather than relying on "because I said so." Ultimately, Paul and Andrew argue that discipline should be intentional, purposeful, and aimed at developing resilient, thoughtful adults—not merely compliant children. The goal is to help kids learn how to face life's challenges while understanding the reasons behind the expectations placed upon them.

    38 min
  2. What If Being a Better Dad Starts With Knowing Yourself?

    Jun 16

    What If Being a Better Dad Starts With Knowing Yourself?

    Matthew Jandernoa believes many men know what the right thing is… but don’t really know their own hearts. In this conversation, we explore what happens when fatherhood exposes the parts of ourselves we’d rather avoid. We talk about frustration, patience, humility, comparison, healing, and why becoming a better dad starts long before becoming a dad at all. Matthew shares a powerful story from his time as a missionary that changed how he viewed himself forever, explains why “offer it up” never quite landed for him, and challenges us to stop focusing on our failures and start focusing on who we’re becoming. Along the way we discuss: 🔹 Why many fathers get trapped in self-criticism 🔹 The connection between patience and hope 🔹 How parents unintentionally teach learned helplessness 🔹 Why your children need space to struggle 🔹 The difference between trusting your heart and following every desire 🔹 How humility can actually increase life satisfaction 🔹 What it means to become the man your family needs This is a conversation about fatherhood, but it’s also a conversation about being human. Guest Matthew Jandernoa Founder of Steadfast Life, husband, father of two with a third on the way. Key Takeaways ⚡ You are not your failures. Focusing on your shortcomings creates a feedback loop that makes growth harder. ⚡ Patience is more than waiting. It’s an unwillingness to be overcome by suffering and the ability to see potential where it isn’t fully realized yet. ⚡ Children need opportunities to struggle. Constantly rescuing them teaches learned helplessness instead of resilience. ⚡ The heart contains both good desires and disordered desires. The goal isn’t suppressing the heart but helping direct it toward what is truly good. ⚡ Holiness and fatherhood aren’t destinations. They’re continual acts of returning to who you’re called to become. ⚡ Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself. It’s becoming genuinely happy when good things happen, whether or not they happen to you. Memorable Quotes “The Christian life is perpetual conversion back to God.” “Patience is an unwillingness to be overcome by sorrow.” “A good father would also be a good single person.” “The whole point of parenting is helping our kids aim what comes from the heart, not suppress it.” “Every time your wife or kids make you angry, it’s an opportunity to help them remember who they truly are.” Website: https://www.steadfastlife.net/

    52 min
  3. Building Better Men: The Power of Modeling and Brotherhood | Shaun Dawson

    Jun 2

    Building Better Men: The Power of Modeling and Brotherhood | Shaun Dawson

    Summary: How do we raise boys into good men when the world seems confused about what a good man even is? In this episode, Paul and Andrew sit down with Shaun Dawson, host of Raising Men, to talk about modern masculinity, brotherhood, emotional safety, ego in parenting, and what boys need from the men around them. Show Notes: How do we raise boys into good men when the world seems confused about what a good man even is? In this episode, Paul and Andrew sit down with Shaun Dawson, host of Raising Men, to talk about modern masculinity, brotherhood, emotional safety, ego in parenting, and what boys need from the men around them. Shaun shares a painfully relatable dad story about watching his son at basketball practice and realizing his frustration had more to do with his own ego than his son’s performance. From there, the conversation opens into a bigger question: what does it actually mean to model healthy masculinity for our kids? We talk about: • Why dads can get triggered when their kids struggle in public • The difference between preparing the child for the road and clearing every obstacle • Why men often want to open up but don’t feel safe doing it • How brotherhood has to be rebuilt intentionally • Why boys need worthy men around them, not just lectures about manhood • How fathers can create a “castle” where their families can thrive • Why cultivating excellence in our kids starts with cultivating it in ourselves Guest: Shaun Dawson is a husband, father of two, tech leader, and host of Raising Men, a podcast about parenting, masculinity, and raising sons into men of courage, character, and purpose. Links: Raising Men: https://raising.men/ About Shaun Dawson: https://raising.men/about-shaun-dawson Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1HdOjO18HibC17XnyrFOv5 Steve Biddulph: https://www.stevebiddulph.com/Site_1/Home.html Call to Action: If this episode made you think of a dad, uncle, coach, mentor, or friend who is trying to raise good men, send it their way. And if you’re enjoying Why, Dad?, follow the show and leave a review. It helps other dads find these conversations.

    48 min
  4. From Compulsion to Connection | Chris Rogers

    May 19

    From Compulsion to Connection | Chris Rogers

    Most dads know they need to talk to their kids about the digital world. Most just don’t know where to start. In this episode, we sit down with Chris Rogers, a former teacher and coach who works with teens and families navigating unhealthy digital habits, shame, identity, and hard conversations. We talk about: Why shame pushes kids into secrecy The dangers of a screen-first childhood Why filters and blockers are only part of the solution Helping kids become self-aware instead of fear-driven The importance of identity and intentionality Creating a home where questions are safe Why “the home is the rehearsal room” might change your parenting forever This conversation isn’t just about screens. It’s about becoming the kind of parent your kids can actually come to. Guest Chris Rogers is a former teacher turned coach who helps teens and families navigate compulsive digital behaviors, self-awareness, and healthy identity formation. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to the Why Dad Podcast 03:10 The Importance of Open Dialogue 06:32 Understanding the Impact of Technology 09:13 The Gender Dynamics of Sexual Education 12:33 Age of Exposure to Sexual Content 16:07 Building Self-Awareness and Accountability 18:00 Practical Exercises for Self-Discovery 24:15 Empowering Conversations with Children 24:39 Empowering Self-Awareness and Accountability 25:17 Overcoming Authoritarian Upbringing 27:11 Navigating Conversations About Desire and Discipline 28:55 The Journey of Self-Awareness and Identity 30:52 The Importance of Intentionality in Parenting 32:52 Shifting Focus from Avoidance to Goals 35:08 Identity Transformation Through Intentional Actions 37:27 Facilitating Growth and Self-Discovery in Children 38:44 The Role of Family Dynamics in Personal Development 39:38 Preparing for Fatherhood: Lessons Learned 42:53 Creating a Supportive Home Environment 46:44 Final Thoughts on Compassionate Parenting Connect with Chris Rogers and learn more about the Rebooted Teen Program: 📱 Instagram: @rebootedteenhttps://www.instagram.com/rebootedteen/ Website: https://www.rebootedteen.com/

    48 min
  5. Episode 46: Are We Overstimulating our Kids?

    May 12

    Episode 46: Are We Overstimulating our Kids?

    This episode of the YDad Podcast is a “duosode” conversation between Paul and Andrew exploring whether modern kids are being overstimulated into passivity. They begin with light banter, then shift into a deeper discussion about how the number of toys, screen time, and constant stimulation may affect creativity, attention span, independence, and social development. Andrew references small-scale observational studies suggesting that children given fewer toys (such as four instead of sixteen) demonstrated longer focus, greater creativity, and deeper engagement. He also shares an example of a German kindergarten that removed toys from the classroom; after an initial adjustment period, students reportedly became more imaginative, collaborative, and focused. The hosts emphasize that these findings aren’t definitive conclusions, but they raise interesting questions about stimulation and development. The conversation expands to screen time. Both agree that excessive digital use may be more impactful than physical toys, especially given how addictive screens can be for some children. They discuss how video games and instant-reward systems can reduce perseverance and critical thinking compared to more open-ended play. They also note that while technology is not inherently bad, it requires intentional boundaries. They reflect on outdoor play, recalling their own childhood experiences with imaginative, unstructured time outside. They contrast that with modern trends showing children spending very little time outdoors and significant time on screens. They emphasize that boredom is not something to eliminate, but a skill children need to develop—because learning how to sit with boredom can foster creativity, independence, and resilience. The hosts also discuss gift-giving culture, suggesting that instead of accumulating more toys, families can prioritize books, board games, art supplies, and other tools that encourage long-term engagement and imagination. They highlight examples such as board games, competitive tabletop games, and educational kits that promote hands-on learning and family interaction. They also stress that gifts should be intentional rather than excessive, helping avoid clutter, entitlement, and overstimulation. Toward the end, the conversation briefly touches on education and AI, raising questions about screen-based learning and whether overreliance on digital tools could weaken foundational thinking skills. They acknowledge that technology is unavoidable and can be beneficial when used purposefully, but it should not replace critical thinking development. Overall, the episode centers on intentional parenting in a consumer-driven, screen-heavy culture. Rather than concluding with rigid rules, they encourage reflection: reducing unnecessary stimulation, promoting outdoor play, fostering boredom tolerance, choosing thoughtful gifts, and helping children develop creativity and independence. The tone remains conversational, self-reflective, and focused on growth rather than expertise.

    1h 1m
  6. Lead Yourself First: How Dads Rebuild Strength, Discipline, and Purpose with Sean McManus

    May 5

    Lead Yourself First: How Dads Rebuild Strength, Discipline, and Purpose with Sean McManus

    Sean McManus shares his journey from feeling overwhelmed, impatient, and uncertain as a new father to becoming a coach who helps men rebuild themselves physically, mentally, spiritually, and relationally. This conversation explores how dads can stop relying solely on discipline and instead build practical systems that create consistency, strength, and leadership in their homes. Sean opens up about marriage struggles, escapism, mentorship, biblical masculinity, and why investing in yourself can radically change your family’s future. If you’re a dad or aspiring father who wants to lead with greater strength, clarity, and purpose, this episode offers practical wisdom and powerful perspective. Episode Overview: Sean McManus joins Why Dad? to discuss how men can rebuild themselves from the inside out through faith, fitness, systems, and intentional leadership. Key Topics Covered: 💪 The reality shock of new fatherhood 🧠 Escapism vs ownership 🔥 Why mentorship accelerates growth 🏡 Leadership starts with self-leadership 📅 Systems over motivation and discipline 🙏 Biblical masculinity in modern fatherhood 🍎 Nutrition and physical stewardship 🤝 Brotherhood and accountability ⏳ Redefining consistency ❤️ Building stronger marriages through personal growth Key Takeaways: You can’t lead your family well if you don’t lead yourself first Motivation fades, systems sustain Consistency is how quickly you return after falling off Investing in yourself pays dividends for your family Brotherhood and mentorship matter Fitness and nutrition are stewardship, not vanity Guest Info: Sean McManus Men’s Strength & Nutrition Coach Socials: @theseanmcmanus

    43 min

Ratings & Reviews

4.4
out of 5
7 Ratings

About

Andrew, an aspiring dad, and Paul, a dad of two, dig deep to find out what it means to be/become the best dad possible, why it matters, and how to do so.