You Are the Answer

Naomi Mills

"You are the Answer" is a podcast about returning to your body, regulating your nervous system and remembering your own inner wisdom. Each episode blends storytelling, science and spirituality to help you feel calmer, more connected and more empowered in your everyday life.

  1. 22h ago

    An Almost 11-Year-Old’s Guide To Feeling Safe And Calm

    If you want to understand your child’s nervous system, start by listening to their ordinary day. I’m joined by my daughter Beatrix, almost 11, for a gentle, honest chat about what it feels like to be her age and why the “small” things adults overlook can feel huge to children.  We talk about school pressure and tests, how quickly boredom can kick in, and the quiet worry of what classmates might think. Beatrix shares what she wishes could change at school, why respect matters so much, and what a good friend looks like when you’re trying to figure out where you belong. You’ll hear real child language around anxiety, emotional regulation, and the everyday social stress that can build up without anyone meaning for it to.  We also get practical about calm and overwhelm. Beatrix describes how calm feels in her body, what makes her tense, and what adults might notice when she’s stressed, including going quiet and losing that playful energy. She names what genuinely helps after a hard day, reading, sleep, tea, laughing with friends, and she explains how parents can accidentally make things worse by pushing for a talk before a child is ready. We touch on social media boundaries, the move towards senior school, and what children need from home to feel safe, encouraged, and free to be themselves.  If this conversation sparks something in you, subscribe, share it with a parent friend, and leave a review. What’s one question you’ll ask your child today, then give them time to answer?

  2. Jul 23

    Perfection Pressure And The Teenage Nervous System

    Perfectionism doesn’t arrive as a neat little personality trait. It arrives as a nervous system that never quite unclenches and a quiet belief that love, safety, and belonging must be earned. I’m back from a short summer break and I’m going deep into what I’ve seen over 15 years of supporting families and young people: the pressure to be perfect is growing, and it’s shaping how children feel in their bodies long before they can explain it in words.  We talk about that delicate stage around ages 10 to the mid-teens, especially the transition from Primary 7 into secondary school, where children can swing between needing comfort and pushing back with big emotions. I unpack why comparison is not “just in their head”. The nervous system compares feelings, not facts, which is why filtered lives, cultural standards, advertising, and the endless drip feed of online success can still hit as if it’s proof that you’re behind. If you’ve ever wondered “When did I stop being enough?”, you’re not alone.  Then we get practical. I share parenting and communication tools that support nervous system regulation and emotional resilience, including a key reframe from Brené Brown’s work: reward effort, not results. You’ll hear simple phrases to use after school, ways to highlight character over achievement, and how to hold disappointment without rushing to fix it, so children learn they can rest, make mistakes, and still belong. If this lands with you, subscribe, share with a parent or friend, and leave a review so more people can find their way back to feeling safe in themselves.

  3. Jul 16

    What If Boredom Is The Missing Link To Wellbeing

    Rest should feel like relief, so why does it sometimes feel like danger? When we finally stop, many of us reach straight for our phones, food, noise, or “one more” episode, not because we are weak, but because our nervous systems have been trained to run fast for a long time. I talk honestly about what happens when you try to create a calmer home and meet unexpected pushback from your own brain, your family, and the chemistry of change itself. We dig into dopamine in a grounded way. Dopamine is not the villain; it helps us learn, connect, and pursue goals. But modern screen time, notifications, and constant stimulation make us brilliant at chasing the next hit of anticipation. That is why boredom feels so uncomfortable for adults and teenagers, and why stillness can bring up irritation, fear of missing out, or emotions we have been numbing. We also touch on parenting, co-regulation, and how children, including neurodiverse kids, can get pulled into stimulation loops that look like “rest” but keep the body stuck in stress. You will leave with practical tools for nervous system regulation that do not rely on quick fixes: a simple timer exercise to practise doing nothing, alternatives that count as real rest through movement and connection, and a family-friendly challenge called the five-minute gap. If you want a calmer, more purposeful life, this is a gentle place to start. Subscribe, share with someone you care about, and leave a review so more people can find their way back to their body.

  4. Jul 9

    How To Create A Calmer Home (And Feel Better)

    Your nervous system is listening to your home long before your mind has an opinion. The light in the hallway, the constant hum of the telly, the buzz of notifications, the piles that never quite get put away all of it adds up to a simple internal question: do I feel safe here? When the answer is “not really”, you can end up feeling edgy, exhausted, reactive, or stuck in that background stress that makes everything harder, including sleep, digestion and pain. I’m Naomi Mills, chiropractor, author and mum, and I walk you through a down-to-earth way to think about nervous system regulation using the one place you often have the most control over: your home environment. I share a personal story about caring for my sister and how her lower back pain became a clear signal of overwhelm rather than “just” a mechanical problem. From there, we explore what safety cues look like in real homes, including sound, clutter, temperature, smell, technology, and why silence can feel uncomfortable at first but still be exactly what your body needs. You’ll leave with five practical, low-effort steps you can try straight away: removing screens from bedrooms, reducing background noise, creating a daily moment of connection, adding more nature indoors, and building a calm corner that anyone in the family can use. If you want better sleep hygiene, less stress at home, and a more grounded way to support teens and adults alike, press play, then subscribe, share, and leave a review so more people can find their way back to their body.

  5. Jun 25

    Why Your Teen Is Not Overreacting: Their Nervous System Is Protecting Them

    The moment your child says something cruel about your body can hit like a shock, even when you thought you’d built a kind, shame-free home. We start there: a real family story, a clear boundary, and the baffling aftermath where the child storms off, sulks, and seems to make it all about them. If you’ve ever thought, “Why is this so dramatic?” or “Am I getting it wrong?”, you’re not alone. We unpack that reaction through nervous system regulation, not blame. A firm correction can land as a threat to belonging, approval, and identity, especially for pre-teens and teenagers who are wired for pack safety. We talk fight flight freeze in everyday language, why shutdown and “I don’t know” are protective responses, and how overwhelm from life factors like poor sleep, end-of-term pressure, and constant stimulation can make small feedback feel huge. From there we zoom out into teenage brain development: the adolescent brain is literally being remodelled, with emotional intensity often arriving before planning, impulse control, and long-term decision making are fully online. We explore dopamine, novelty, and why modern life and screens can hook the reward system so easily, then bring it back to what actually helps at home: more movement, better sleep, real-world connection, and a compassionate, curious approach that supports safety and repair. If you want a calmer way to understand teen behaviour and support wellbeing without quick fixes, press play, subscribe, and share this with a parent or caregiver who needs it. If it resonates, leave a review so more people can find their way back to trusting their body.

  6. Jun 18

    Teen Overwhelm And The Nervous System

    Everybody feels it right now: kids are more emotional, adults are exhausted, and nobody seems able to properly switch off. We look at that collective pressure through a nervous system lens, because once you understand what your body is responding to, the shame drops away and practical change becomes possible. I share why I am focusing the next run of shows on tweens and teens, and why these years can feel like a booby trapped landscape when you are trying to parent inside an always on world. We unpack what constant input does to the body, from notifications and group chats to streaming and 24 hour news. Humans are not built for endless stimulation, and even “relaxing” can keep the system on low level alert. That matters for sleep, digestion, hormones, mood, and behaviour. I also explain why we still crave the scroll when we know it drains us, using a simple view of dopamine, novelty, and the tired but wired loop that shows up in so many homes. Then we zoom out to what the research is really pointing towards: it is not only screen time, but the quality of the online experience, how it affects sleep, and the culture of comparison. We end with small, realistic ways to create tiny gaps that help your nervous system remember safety again, like a phone free morning, screen free dinners, conversation cards, walks without headphones, and more real presence. If you want more calm, connection, and resilience for your family, press play, share this with someone raising a tween or teen, and subscribe so you do not miss the rest of the arc. If it helps, leave a review and tell me which micro change you are trying first.

  7. Jun 11

    What I Realised In This Mindset Series

    Welcome to the final episode in our "mindset arc"! Here I put together everything we covered over the last 10 episodes, including the realisations I've had along the way. So, if your phone is always within reach, your diary is full, your mind won’t switch off and somehow that’s considered normal. We’re closing the mindset arc by naming what sits underneath so much “failed mindset work”: a nervous system that’s exhausted, overstimulated and chasing relief. When you understand that pattern, you stop blaming yourself for needing comfort, certainty and distraction, and you can finally choose change that your body can actually sustain. We talk about why consistency creates transformation, even when the steps feel tiny, and why “common” habits like overthinking, scrolling and running on autopilot can still be deeply unhealthy. I share one of the most empowering reframes I’ve learned: you are not your thoughts. Your brain is built to predict danger and keep you safe, which means it can sound convincing even when it’s wrong. Learning to witness thoughts rather than obey them changes everything from boundaries to burnout. To ground it, I tell the story of a skydive that was meant to be meaningful and became truly terrifying, and what it taught me about feeling fear and still being safe. We also get honest about the wellness world: healing, mindset and nervous system regulation are nuanced, and quick fixes often collapse under real life. Hope isn’t pretending things are fine; it’s the spark that makes new behaviour possible. If you want practical tools, we explore gentle ways to reset your system, build self-trust and create a positive snowball effect, plus why community matters when you’re trying to normalise calm. If it resonates, subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find their way back to their body.

About

"You are the Answer" is a podcast about returning to your body, regulating your nervous system and remembering your own inner wisdom. Each episode blends storytelling, science and spirituality to help you feel calmer, more connected and more empowered in your everyday life.