You Can’t Do That is a podcast about hockey from three women who have more opinions than information and LOTS of feelings about the Washington Capitals. These enthusiastically self-righteous idiots aren't here to win - they're here to make friends! (And talk about which hockey players are cats and which are dogs.) Join Eva, Kelly, and Rave every Wednesday for jokes and yelling about the latest league headlines, player antics, and more.
Are You Afraid Of Free Agency?
Free agency’s here and spreading spooky-ass vibes all over the dang place, so Rave, Kelly, and Eva huddle 'round the campfire with ghost stories, gossip, and a haunting, mournful wail for our OG dreamboat Braden Holtby, as befits the season.
The Disneyland of Ass
Eva, Rave, and Kelly would like to congratulate the 2020 Stanley Pandemic Cup winners, father-to-be (!) Dylan Strome (?!?), anyone invested in trade rumors, and people who assign star ratings to strip clubs on Al Gore's internet. This one's for you.
Severe Teacher Voice
Have you been wounded by ghosts? You might be after this episode, in which Kelly, Rave, and Eva make now-outdated but not entirely incorrect predictions about the Stanley Cup finals. Plus: Ovi's birthday, deepfake Sidney Crosby, galaxy-brain trade choices, and more.
A Home For Wayward Finns
Rave, Kelly, and Eva dive in to the Stanley Cup Finals with the enthusiasm of an affection-starved hockey player seeing a tiny baby for the first time in months, and consult an old friend of the pod for some perspective on bubble life.
On Too Much Of One
Eva, Kelly, and Rave cover a real breadth of topics in this episode, including but not limited to: homophobia in the NHL, ocarinas, the language of disease, ANTM makeovers, the Dallas Stars?!?!, the Tampa Bay Lightning?!?!?!?, and the Buster Keatonality of it all.
A bunch of our favorites have had their playoffs tickets punched. Frown emoji! Kelly, Rave, and Eva unearth some pre-pandemic listener Qs to make the eulogies for our beloved Canucks, Flyers, and Avs sting less. Also discussed: pool parties, secret societies, and the subtle but important distinction between "a monster" and "my monster."
Customer ReviewsSee All
Helping My Sanity, One Jamie Benn Impression At A Time
Did you recently get into hockey as a way to survive quarantine and are suddenly filled with intense emotions and many thoughts about hockey that you just want to fling into the world but don’t have any hockey friends?? This is the podcast for you!! Unfortunately in true podcast format, you cannot speak back to the amazing hosts, but when they’re reading your mind and emotions and speaking them into existence, you don’t have to!! Not only does this podcast never fail to make me laugh really hard out loud in public to the concern of passing strangers, but has also educated me, helping me understand the world that I have immersed myself into. This podcast is my happy place. Do yourself a favor and join me! Thank you, You Can’t Do That!
So much yes.
5 Star Pod, 5 Star Friends
This pod makes me laugh every week without fail and I love it! The Coven got me back into hockey, and got me to love life again along the way! I love to go back and listen to my favorite old episodes when I’m feeling down, or just need a hearty cackle