You Keep Me Sane

Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy

For 10 years, Aileen and Julie have been each other's sounding board from opposite sides of the globe – Aileen in London and Julie in Melbourne.They have navigated everything – motherhood, relationships, menopause, health, grief, and everything in between – through daily voice messages. These exchanges often became lifelines, and now they share that space with their listeners.In You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie hold honest conversations on life's challenges, growth, and connection. They lend an ear and share heartfelt insights, creating a space that allows both them, and you, to be human.Listeners are encouraged to write in with their own experiences and topics, becoming part of the conversation that feels like a chat with close friends.

  1. Imposter Syndrome in Midlife: The Confidence Gap No One Talks About

    3D AGO

    Imposter Syndrome in Midlife: The Confidence Gap No One Talks About

    Episode Overview This week, we’re returning to something we haven’t done in a while - reading a listener letter. And this one stopped us in our tracks. Elsa writes about something so many of us quietly carry: doing well on paper, yet feeling like we’re one step away from being found out. The overthinking, the over-preparing, the constant questioning - it’s exhausting. In this conversation, we unpack imposter syndrome through a self-worth lens. Why it often shows up in capable, high-achieving women. Why confidence doesn’t always follow experience. And why this might be less about competence - and more about self-trust. Key Discussion Points Why imposter syndrome often shows up in high achieversThe gap between how life looks externally and how it feels internallyOverthinking, over-preparing, and the mental exhaustion that followsComparing ourselves to others who seem more confidentThe difference between a competence gap and a self-trust gapWhy confidence isn’t a prerequisite for showing up Listener Takeaways You’re not the only one - imposter syndrome is far more common than we thinkFeeling like you’ll be “found out” doesn’t mean it’s trueConfidence doesn’t automatically come with experience or successAwareness is the first step—notice the pattern, don’t immediately believe itYou don’t need to feel fully ready or certain to take your placeSelf-worth isn’t built on getting everything right—it’s built on trusting yourself  If this episode resonated, you can start rebuilding your self-worth with our guide  ENOUGH Links: Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  hello@youkeepmesane.comSubscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/ Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information Disclaimer:  Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

    17 min
  2. Cortisol: The Hidden Driver Behind How You Feel in Midlife

    APR 29

    Cortisol: The Hidden Driver Behind How You Feel in Midlife

    Episode Overview In this episode, we explore something that’s been sitting underneath so many of our conversations lately… cortisol. What started as disrupted sleep and feeling constantly “on” quickly became something deeper. Because when you really look at cortisol, it’s not just about stress - it’s about how we live, what we carry, and what we believe about our own worth. This conversation moves beyond quick fixes and into a more honest question:  Why is it so hard to slow down… even when we know we need to? 💬 Key Discussion Points  Why waking at 1–3am might be more than just “bad sleep”  Why stress hits differently in midlife  The link between cortisol and self-worth 🌿 Listener Takeaways  If you’re feeling exhausted, wired, inflamed or foggy… there’s nothing wrong with you  Cortisol isn’t just about stress  it’s about what you haven’t allowed yourself to stop  Slowing down can feel uncomfortable when your worth is tied to doing If this sounds familiar - waking at 3am, feeling wired but tired, or noticing that constant “on” feeling in your body -  you don't need more pressure. We've been using a 15-minute cortisol reset guide that's a really good place to start. Get it here: 👉 GUIDE 🤍 Join the Conversation This one felt personal for us… and we have a feeling it might for you too. Have you noticed these shifts in your own body? Do you find it hard to slow down, even when you know you need to? We’d really love to hear your experience. Send us a DM or email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com And if this episode resonated, share it with someone who might need to hear it. Links: Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  hello@youkeepmesane.comSubscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/ Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information Disclaimer:  Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

    21 min
  3. The Day You Realise You Don't Need To Be Chosen Anymore

    APR 15

    The Day You Realise You Don't Need To Be Chosen Anymore

    Episode Overview This week, we explore the need to be chosen — at work, in friendships, in love, and in family roles. For years, being picked can feel like proof of worth… and not being picked can quietly unravel us. We unpack how midlife starts to loosen that wiring, and how the shift from “please choose me” to “I choose me” changes everything. Key Discussion Points Aileen notices she no longer needs praise or an invitation to feel valuableJulie reflects on how fear of rejection shaped her choices for yearsHow “shape-shifting” shows up in friendships, family roles and people-pleasingThe romantic reframe: not “Do they want me?” but “Do I choose them?”How to spot when you’re still living in “please choose me” mode Listener Takeaways Being chosen isn’t proof of worth - and not being chosen isn’t proof you’re lackingFear of judgement can be just as exhausting as chasing validationMidlife often brings clarity: you stop auditioning and start choosingYou can care deeply without over-explaining, over-giving, or over-performingSelf-worth grows when you trust your own choice, not someone else’s approval Links: Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  hello@youkeepmesane.comSubscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/ Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information Disclaimer:  Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

    19 min
  4. Quiet Wealth : Why Peace Is The New Status Symbol

    APR 1

    Quiet Wealth : Why Peace Is The New Status Symbol

    Episode Overview This week, we explore a quiet but powerful shift happening in midlife: the move from chasing traditional success to craving something far less flashy - peace. For years, achievement meant striving. Building. Proving. Being impressive. We grew up in a culture that celebrated ambition, hustle and visible markers of success. And in many ways, we embodied that - high achievers, big thinkers, always “on.” But midlife changes the lens. With shifting hormones, teenage children, ageing parents, business pressures and the constant hum of modern life, the nervous system starts to demand honesty. What once felt energising now feels depleting. What once looked impressive now looks exhausting. In this conversation, we unpack what happens when the real wealth we crave is calm. A regulated nervous system. Honest relationships. A home that feels steady. A life that feels sustainable. Because maybe the bravest thing we can do in midlife isn’t scale up - it’s refine. Key Discussion Points Swapping coffee for cacao - and the unexpected lesson about cortisol, stimulation and going to extremes.Why midlife women report some of the highest global stress levels - and what that says about modern success.The shift from chasing “impressive” to choosing “peaceful.”The guilt women feel when pulling back - and why peace is actually responsible, not selfish.What “quiet wealth” looks like in real life: subtraction, depth, calm mornings and fewer but deeper relationships.Insights from the long-running Harvard University adult development study, showing that close relationships - not fame or fortune - predict long-term happiness and health. Listener Takeaways Notice where you’re still chasing impressive instead of peaceful.Ask yourself what your current version of “success” is costing your nervous system.Consider subtracting one commitment this month.Reduce exposure to comparison triggers — both online and in conversation.Invest more deeply in one relationship that feels regulating rather than draining.Define success privately, not publicly.Quiet wealth doesn’t shout. It doesn’t need applause. But it feels rich. If this season of your life is asking for less noise and more depth, you’re not behind. You’re not unambitious. You might just be redefining Join Us for More on Patreon! Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more! Join Us via this link: https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join Links: Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  hello@youkeepmesane.comSubscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/ Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information Disclaimer:  Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

    27 min
  5. The Negative Jar: Why One Comment Can Ruin Your Day

    MAR 18

    The Negative Jar: Why One Comment Can Ruin Your Day

    This episode grew from a simple image we shared in a recent Sanity Check: two jars. One jar is full — kind words, encouragement, praise, moments where someone saw you and appreciated you. The other jar holds just one negative comment. And yet… it’s the second jar most of us carry. We explore why one raised eyebrow, one piece of criticism, one offhand remark can eclipse a hundred positive moments. Why it lingers. Why it replays. Why it feels like proof. We talk about negativity bias, self-worth, shrinking, second-guessing and the quiet exhaustion that comes from gripping that mostly empty jar. And most importantly — how we begin to put it down. Key Discussion Points The “two jars” metaphor and why so many women instantly recognised themselves in itWhy one negative comment can occupy our minds all day — even if it lasted only 30 secondsThe concept of negativity bias and how our brains process negative experiences more quickly than positive onesHow social conditioning (especially for women) amplifies the need to be liked, agreeable and “get it right”Why praise often doesn’t land — and why criticism feels familiarThe connection between negative comments and pre-existing beliefs like “I’m not enough” or “I get it wrong”How self-worth changes the proportion of impact — it’s not about becoming bulletproof, it’s about balanceThe exhaustion of carrying self-doubt: over-explaining, shrinking, working harder than necessaryWhy tiredness isn’t always about what you’re doing — sometimes it’s about what you’re carryingPractical shifts: noticing which jar you’re holding, questioning why something landed so hard, and consciously allowing praise to sit Listener Takeaways You’re not dramatic for holding onto one comment — you’re humanNegative feedback often hurts because it echoes something you already believePraise doesn’t land if it doesn’t match your internal storyGrowth isn’t about never being affected — it’s about not letting one comment define youYou don’t have to deny a negative experience — you just don’t have to build your identity around itSelf-worth strengthens when we become conscious of what gets to stay with usThe jar feels heavy because it is heavy — and you are allowed to put it down Join the Conversation As you listen, ask yourself: Which jar am I carrying right now? And more importantly — Why am I still holding onto it? We’d love to hear your reflections. Come and tell us what resonated. DM us on social media or email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com. You’re not broken. You’re learning what gets to stay. Links: Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  hello@youkeepmesane.comSubscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/ Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information Disclaimer:  Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

    21 min
  6. Losing Our Voice - When Midlife Asks Us 'Who Am I?'

    MAR 4

    Losing Our Voice - When Midlife Asks Us 'Who Am I?'

    Episode Overview There’s a moment many women reach - often in midlife - where we stop and quietly think, Who am I actually? It doesn’t arrive with drama. It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s usually the result of years spent being reliable, capable, needed. Years of making decisions for the family, the partnership, the household unit. Years of choosing what works. And then one day, something pauses us. Maybe it’s exhaustion. Maybe it’s hormones shifting. Maybe it’s the kids growing up. Maybe it’s a relationship changing. Or maybe it’s just the slow realisation that we don’t quite recognise ourselves anymore. In this episode, we explore what it really means to “lose your voice” - not literally, but emotionally and identity-wise - and why that question in midlife isn’t a sign that something’s gone wrong. It might actually be a sign that something more honest is trying to emerge. Key Discussion Points What “losing your voice” actually means in adulthoodOperating as a family unit and how decisions slowly stop being about usThe invisible praise of being dependable, strong and capableHow self-worth becomes tied to being neededWhy midlife hormones, burnout and emotional shifts make the cracks visibleThe body saying “no” after years of holding it all togetherReclaiming your voice quietly, not dramatically Listener Takeaways Losing your voice rarely happens suddenly - it’s usually the result of years of being dependable, capable and needed.Living as part of a family unit can slowly shift decisions away from what you want towards what works for everyone.Midlife often acts as a pause point, where exhaustion, hormones or emotional shifts make it harder to keep pretending everything is fine.Feeling lost or disconnected isn’t a failure — it can be a signal that something more authentic is trying to surface.Self-worth can quietly become tied to what we provide rather than who we are.Reclaiming your voice doesn’t require dramatic reinvention — it can begin with small, honest noticing.You don’t need to have all the answers. Awareness is a powerful first step. Join the Conversation Have you ever had that moment where you realised you didn’t quite recognise yourself anymore? What brought it on - exhaustion, midlife, shifting roles, something else? We’d genuinely love to hear from you. Send us a DM or email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com You’re not alone in this. Links: Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  hello@youkeepmesane.comSubscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/ Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information Disclaimer:  Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

    22 min
  7. Always On: The Hidden Cortisol Cost of a Busy Life

    FEB 18

    Always On: The Hidden Cortisol Cost of a Busy Life

    Episode overview In this episode, we explore what it really means to live in an always-on world — and how that constant state of availability quietly keeps our stress response switched on. Cortisol has become a bit of a villain in wellness conversations, but we unpack why it’s not the problem in itself. Cortisol is essential. The issue is that modern life rarely gives our bodies the chance to switch it off. From 3am wake-ups and belly changes to mental load, boundaries, and self-worth, this is an honest conversation about why so many of us feel exhausted even when we don’t feel “stressed” - and what our bodies might be trying to tell us. Key discussion point The impact of living in an always-on culture: emails, messages, notifications, and mental loadWhy our bodies can’t tell the difference between a real threat and constant pressureThe link between being busy, always available, and self-worthMidlife, menopause, and why our bodies become less tolerant of sustained stressPhysical signs of chronically high cortisol: disrupted sleep, puffiness, belly fat, anxiety, digestive issues, and fatigueReframing cortisol as an alarm rather than the enemy Listener takeaways You don’t have to feel anxious or overwhelmed for cortisol to be highBeing busy and constantly “on” is still stress - even if it feels normalYour body isn’t weak or broken; it’s responding to chronic pressureBoundaries aren’t selfish - they’re self-preservationYou can’t regulate your way out of a life where your worth feels constantly on the lineSmall changes matter: one pause, one boundary, one moment of choosing enough Join the conversation If you recognised yourself in this episode - the constant doing, the exhaustion, the feeling of being “on” all the time - you’re not alone. We’d love to hear your thoughts. Send us a DM on socials or email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com. And if you’d like more from us, head over to Patreon for bonus episodes and deeper conversations. Join Us for More on Patreon! Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more! Join Us via this link: https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join Links: Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  hello@youkeepmesane.comSubscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/ Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information Disclaimer:  Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

    30 min
  8. Wintering: Honouring Your Energy Through the Seasons

    FEB 4

    Wintering: Honouring Your Energy Through the Seasons

    Episode Overview In this episode, we explore the idea of wintering - not as a trend or aesthetic, but as a very real biological and emotional experience. Recording from opposite sides of the world - one of us in a UK winter, the other in an Australian summer - we reflect on how seasons, light, energy, and life demands shape the way we feel, move, and cope. We talk about slowing down without guilt, listening to the body instead of forcing productivity, and what happens when winter stops being something to “survive” and becomes something we learn to work with. This conversation is about acceptance, recalibration, and honouring capacity - wherever you are and whatever season you’re in. Key Discussion Points What wintering actually means beyond social media and wellness trendsHow energy naturally shifts with seasons, light, and life stagesThe contrast between winter in the UK and summer in Australia — and how both come with different challengesWhy pushing through tiredness often creates more resistance and burnoutSeasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) vs. milder winter mood shiftsThe pressure to stay productive year-round — and why it doesn’t work Listener Takeaways Your energy isn’t meant to be flat or consistent all year roundFeeling slower in winter isn’t laziness - it’s biologyWintering isn’t about stopping or opting out of lifeRest, slower mornings, and lowered expectations can restore energy for what actually mattersDifferent seasons place different demands on us - and that’s okayGrowth sometimes looks like acceptance, not effort Join the Conversation What season are you in right now - physically, emotionally, or energetically? What might shift if you stopped forcing yourself to keep the same pace and listened more closely to what your body is asking for? We’d love to hear from you. You can email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com or send us a DM Links: Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  hello@youkeepmesane.comSubscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/ Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information Disclaimer:  Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

    23 min
See All (118)

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

For 10 years, Aileen and Julie have been each other's sounding board from opposite sides of the globe – Aileen in London and Julie in Melbourne.They have navigated everything – motherhood, relationships, menopause, health, grief, and everything in between – through daily voice messages. These exchanges often became lifelines, and now they share that space with their listeners.In You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie hold honest conversations on life's challenges, growth, and connection. They lend an ear and share heartfelt insights, creating a space that allows both them, and you, to be human.Listeners are encouraged to write in with their own experiences and topics, becoming part of the conversation that feels like a chat with close friends.

Information

  • Creator
    Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    118
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 You Keep Me Sane
  • Show Website
    You Keep Me Sane

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