Most of us made a deal somewhere in our twenties. Nobody handed us a contract. We just quietly agreed — work hard now, live later. Build the career first. Hit the number first. And then, finally, start doing the things we actually wanted to do. The problem is that later has a way of staying later. In this episode of Deep Cuts, Shaun Maslyk,— CFP®, FBS®, and MAPP — takes his conversation with Alastair Humphreys and goes below the surface. Alastair has biked around the world, rowed the Atlantic, and walked across Spain playing a violin he barely knew. But it’s not the expeditions that stayed with Shaun. It’s what Alastair said underneath all of them. This is a 15-minute episode about the cost of The Deferred Life — the quiet operating system most high-achievers run on without ever consciously choosing it. And what the research, the philosophy, and one coin in a Spanish plaza all say about how to step off it. In This Episode 00:29 — Alastair on the happiest nights of his life — not what you’d expect 07:35 — The admission that changes everything: the ordinary life might have been more contented 12:00 — Hedonic adaptation — why the raise, the house, and the milestone never feel the way we thought 18:30 — Seneca on time, and Jon Kabat-Zinn on the version of you that arrives at someday 22:00 — Two ways to live a rich life — what Alastair figured out rationing gum in Africa 28:00 — Badlands by Springsteen — the hedonic treadmill set to music 35:00 — The Spain story: empty pockets, busking badly, and one coin 47:02 — The most honest moment: completely nothing for the first time in his life 54:04 — The tree: once a month, first Wednesday, fifteen minutes 60:00 — The closing question: what is the tree in your life? The Story That Will Stay With You Alastair had been walking across Spain for weeks. Hundreds of miles. Sleeping on hilltops, cooking on campfires, busking — playing a violin he’d taught himself over seven months, badly — because it was the only way he could eat. One morning, before he left, he emptied his pockets. Every last coin. Left it on a park bench. And walked out into the plaza with nothing. He stood there for hours playing badly while strangers walked in wide circles around him. Humiliated. Terrified. Wanting to go home. And then one old man dropped a single coin in his case. “Eventually this old gentleman gave me one coin and my heart just sang. The generosity of that man, the kindness of strangers, the empathy, the kindness, the hope.” — Alastair Humphreys, 48:00 That moment — not the Atlantic, not the four continents — is the heart of this episode. Because it’s not a story about poverty or adventure. It’s a story about what presence actually feels like. And how rarely most of us let ourselves feel it. Three Things You’ll Take Away 1. The Deferred Life is running your life The Deferred Life isn’t a choice most people make consciously. It’s an operating system — installed early, rarely questioned. The research on hedonic adaptation (Lyubomirsky, Sheldon & Schkade, 2005) shows we return to a stable baseline of happiness regardless of what we accumulate. The raise becomes the baseline. The house becomes the floor. And we reach — again — for the next thing. Not because we’re greedy. Because nobody told us the deal had a flaw in it. 2. Sustainable happiness doesn’t come from circumstances Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky’s research at UC Riverside found that lasting well-being comes from intentional activity — small, deliberate, repeated acts of genuine engagement with your own life. Not the big milestone. Not the right number in the account. Change your actions and the gains last. Change your circumstances and you adapt right back. 3. The tree only happens if it’s scheduled Alastair has a calendar reminder. First Wednesday of every month. It says: go climb a tree. Same tree. Fifteen minutes. He’s done it for three years. And he says sitting up there, watching the seasons change, is one of the most grounding practices of his life. Psychologists Fred Bryant and Joseph Veroff call this savoring — the deliberate act of being present in a positive experience as it’s happening rather than only in memory. It’s one of the highest-leverage practices in well-being science. And it doesn’t happen unless it’s on the calendar. Memorable Quotes “I suspect I’d probably also be happier and more content with life, but who knows?” — Alastair Humphreys, 07:35 “There’s two ways to live a rich life. You can either have loads of money or you can not spend much money. And the overall result was similar.” — Alastair Humphreys, 54:04 “The universe is going on. The seasons are changing. It helps you just pause and notice that. And maybe helps me remember that sending yet more emails is probably not the most important thing I need to do in life.” — Alastair Humphreys, 33:52 “Someday has a way of staying someday.” — Shaun Maslyk “The tree only happens if it’s scheduled. And so does most of what actually matters.” — Shaun Maslyk About Alastair Humphreys Alastair Humphreys is a National Geographic Adventurer of the Year, author of more than a dozen books, and the man who coined the concept of microadventures. He spent four years cycling around the world, rowed the Atlantic Ocean, and has walked across multiple continents — including Spain, where he busked with a violin he taught himself to play. But what makes Alastair worth listening to isn’t the expeditions. It’s the honesty about what they cost — and what they couldn’t deliver. His work is really about one question: what does it mean to live a life that’s actually yours? 🌐 Website: www.alastairhumphreys.com📸 Instagram: @alastairhumphreys📺 YouTube: Alastair Humphreys [NEED LINK]📖 Book: Microadventures — [NEED LINK]📖 Book: My Midsummer Morning — [NEED LINK] Research & References Every episode of Deep Cuts grounds the conversation in research. Here are the sources referenced in this episode: Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K.M., & Schkade, D. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology, 9(2), 111–131. — The foundational paper on hedonic adaptation and why circumstantial changes don’t produce lasting happiness.Sheldon, K.M., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2006). Achieving sustainable gains in happiness: Change your actions, not your circumstances. Journal of Happiness Studies, 7(1), 55–86. — The research showing that intentional activity produces lasting well-being gains where circumstances don’t.Bryant, F.B., & Veroff, J. (2007). Savoring: A New Model of Positive Experience. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. — The research behind what Alastair is doing in the tree: being deliberately present in a positive experience as it happens.Seneca, Epistulae Morales ad Lucilium, Letter I, c. 65 AD. Translation: “Everything is alien to us; time alone belongs to us.” — The Stoic philosopher who watched Rome’s wealthiest men accumulate everything and still feel like something was missing.Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever You Go, There You Are. Hyperion Books. — Jon Kabat-Zinn is the founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction and Professor of Medicine Emeritus at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.Springsteen, B. (1978). Badlands. Darkness on the Edge of Town. Columbia Records. — “Poor man wanna be rich, rich man wanna be king, and a king ain’t satisfied ’til he rules everything.”Sam Roberts Band (2003). Brother Down. We Were Born in a Flame. Universal Music Canada. — “Rich man’s crying cause his money’s time.”Ware, B. (2012). The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Hay House. — Informing the concept of The Deferred Life. About Deep Cuts Deep Cuts is a podcast format from YouPotential. Every episode takes one conversation with a notable thinker, doer, or creator — and goes below the surface. The universal themes. The research applied. The wisdom distilled down to fifteen minutes of practical takeaways. Not more information to consume. A thinking tool. Something that helps you build the life you actually want. About Shaun Maslyk Shaun Maslyk is a Certified Financial Planner (CFP®), Financial Behaviour Specialist (FBS®), and holds a Master of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP. His work sits at the intersection of money and meaning. He believes financial well-being belongs inside positive psychology — not outside it. And he thinks the most important financial decisions most people haven’t made yet are the small recurring ones.
