Your Stupid Minds Your Stupid Minds

Shao Kahn (Brian Thompson), immediately at the conclusion of the first film, shows up to destroy the earth, breaking the rules of Mortal Kombat and rendering everything that happened in the last movie completely moot. The remaining heroes Liu Kang (Robin Shou) and Kitana (Talisa Soto), as well as their non-union Mexican equivalents Rayden (James Remar) Sonya Blade (Sandra Hess) and Jax (Lynn 'Red' Williams) must team up once again to stop him.

Dr. John Dolittle (Robert Downey Jr.) is a doctor who can talk to animals. He also has a dead wife, so like all movies released in the last decade, he is stricken with grief, trauma, and depression. Lady Rose (Carmel Laniado) comes to him to say Queen Victoria (Jessie Buckley) is sick and needs his expertise of talking to animals to cure her. Also, the lifelong lease for this properly is tied to the queen’s life and not his own for some reason.

Cash (a 17 year old Angelina Jolie in her first starring role) is a top-of-the-line cyborg created to seduce her company’s competitors and blow them up. Her and her karate instructor Colton Ricks (Elias Koteas) have a good rapport, but a mysterious mouth named Mercy (Jack Palance) connect with both of them on every available CRT television nearby. Mercy helps them both escape and they’re on the run from competing cyborg hunters Chen (Karen Sheperd) and the unhinged Danny Bench (Billy Drago).

Alex (Olivier Gruner, a Jean-Claude Van Damme type) is an LAPD cop with cyborg enhancements. He is tasked with finding his former partner and lover Jared (Marjorie Monaghan), who has gone rogue and allied with cyborg terrorists... or has she? He goes on his mission after a bomb is implanted into his heart without his consent.

When Brooke (Vanessa Hudgens) hits a mentally unwell person with her car, she decides to take him home to her mansion and let him stay in her 1,500 square foot guest house. Never mind the man (Josh Whitehouse) is wearing full knight regalia, goes by “Sir Cole” (or “Circle” if you say it fast enough) and talks like a RenFest role-player. He’s cute. As it turns out, Circle is actually a medieval knight, transported to the pre-COVID 21st century by an old crone to fulfill his quest of becoming a true

Jack Reese (former wrestler Adam “Edge” Copeland) is a thief with $40 million in gambling debts. When his crew is set up during an art heist, aforementioned criminal boss “The Rumble” (Kelsey Grammer) buys his debt and makes him rob a billion dollars in cryptocurrency from a flying casino. Which cryptocurrencies? Let your imagination decide that.