Trying Not to Care

So I’ve recently stopped talking to a person who was a very toxic and narcissistic staple in my life and I won’t go too into it but as soon as I stopped talking to this person, it felt like I could finally start the rest of my life. I felt a bit aimless though and I have a history of depression and anxiety so I was kinda worried that I would get stuck in a cycle of productivity mixed with heavy anxiety and then when I “evidently” failed because I judge myself to harshly, I’ll go into a depressive state and the cycle would start all over again. I found this podcast and everything just clicks. It has helped me so much not just in my productivity but in my mental health. Somehow it was exactly what I needed to hear. I’ve spent my whole caring what other tell me or think about me and especially this past couple years with this person I felt like I could not step out of line and a lot of my decisions were made with trying not irritate them or upset them. And now I genuinely don’t care, but there are still moments where “guilt” for finally stepping away or setting boundaries or for simply telling them I’m hurt by them creeps in, I listen here. And it helps. It makes me feel not alone and helps me feel like even if I may wobble sometimes, we all do. And it steadies me.

Absolutely delightful. The host is so likable, and her voice is incredibly calming and charming. The topics are real, relatable, and always seem to give me exactly what I need to hear. A must-listen!

The episode was titled holiday anxiety and I thought it was going to be therapeutic and productive which it started off that way but then it lowkey just became about eating and eating disorders which was 1 triggering and 2 anxiety is so much more than food I don’t really want to hear about body image. It kind of just seemed like a rant or complaint about bad experiences you’ve had during the holidays with people commenting on body image which was tiresome and repetitive.

I’m currently going through a 20+ year friendship breakup that was actually pretty toxic and I kept wanting to mend this relationship but I know it’s not for my well being. Listening to this episode put everything into perspective and I’m so thankful that I stumbled upon it. Thank you thank you!!!