You're Welcome w/ Zoe Nightingale

Zoe Nightingale

You're Welcome is a satirical improv comedy show whose goal is to find and share peoples stories, from all over the world. Each episode is unique and can range from 5 minutes to an hour, and will feature a brand new topic usually with someone Zoe has just met. This podcast is not for the faint of heart, buckle up. ABOUT YOU'RE WELCOME Like most brilliant ideas, this show was started over a molotov concoction of alcohol and various illicit substances. Zoe had given up on her life long dream, of being the female Howard Stern years ago but finally set out armed with a folding table, a couple lawn chairs, and a foam board sign that read "Free Sex Advice." One by one strangers stopped what they were doing and sat down to talk to them about their lives. We'd like to take this moment to thank you for coming to our site and leave you with the eternal words of Oscar Wilde: "I was under the impression that inordinate joviality can atone for an entire lack of class" This show is done for one reason only, to bring laughter and remind you that we are all the same.

  1. 11/07/2024

    S*T F*K TORETTES

    F**K!!!!!! Ben Sheehan, who is a rockstar political/constitutional expert to help me understand how things got so bad, how we can make them better and what each of us can do to fight for the America we want to live in. He's written a book, OMGWTF Does the Constitution Actually Say? This book is like a cheat sheet for this of us who need a refresher course in how our government works. While this isn't the sexiest episode, it's full of really helpful information about how we got here, and how we can make it better, one vote at a time. This is it guys. WINTER HAS COME. Everyone, everywhere has to be doing everything they can to get their friends, family, coworkers, dog walkers, whatever whoever wherever TO THE POLLS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. If he wins, well...honestly...I don't even want to go there. I believe in the collective good. I believe in light. VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE. Thank you. Thank you Ben!! Instagram: @thatbensheehen Get his book! www.politics-prose.com/book/9780762498482 Find out all about your elected officials are here! www.ballotpedia.org My instagram: @Drznightingale My website: www.zoenightingale.com Music: Noah Lampert check out his podcast www.syncpodcast.com Check out my sponsor: www.promescent.com Today's episode is brought to you by Promescent. Promescent is a sexual wellness company that helps couples have longer lasting, more enjoyable sex. Promescent offers safe and innovative solutions to the most common sexual problems that so many of us face. Their products include a clinically proven climax control spray for those looking to last longer in bed, a therapeutic supplement to help increase blood flow, erection strength and vitality, stimulating lubricants for vaginal dryness and enhanced pleasure, and premium quality contraceptives. Promescent products are manufactured in the US, shipped discreetly to your door for privacy, and are backed with a 60-day money-back guarantee. For a limited time you can receive 15% off your entire order using my special discount code Zoe15 at checkout.

    30 min
  2. 11/05/2024

    Don't Be A Democrat, Get Yourself A Trump Hat // Lets Make America White Again...

    January 20th 2017...Day 1 of 1300.....the day Lord Voldermorts reign of terror began! What a day it was, the sky was smothered in gray clouds, the air was thick with whatever the opposite of hope is, giant military Hum Vees were parked all over with pods of nervous looking Army guys milling around. Helicopters hovered menacingly, circling the sky, their blades adding to the symphony of fear playing on repeat throughout downtown. Sirens were going off in every direction and it generally felt like we were waiting for god to set the whole city on fire ala Sodom and Gomorrah. I was raised on George Clinton, Gogo and Ben's Chili Bowl. Politics has always been in my blood. I have been to every inauguration possible since my birth. From the moment I got off the train at Union Station, I knew I was entering enemy territory. Mr potato shaped humans, with interchangeable bland wonder bread features were milling around, all topped off with that one glowing red beacon, the "Make America Great Again," hat. I must tell you what a weird f*****g thing it is to walk through YOUR hometown and feel like you are the odd man out. I hadn't thought about how much instant hatred and animosity I would feel toward ANYONE who had the tiniest amount of Trump paraphaneila on. I instantly directed all my hate and frustration onto their face and started hoping that terrible things would happen to them, we're talking full on day dreams of them being ripped apart by starving wolves, wishing STD's would explode all over their g******s.. I mean I started going nuts. But I calmed myself down eventually... So I walked, and talked. I listened I laughed. I met many wonderful people who were educated, thoughtful and pleasant who were completely Pro Trump. Everyone was lovely, I had to seriously rethink my ideas about the people who voted for him. The thing that scares me the most now is that now that I'm back in NYC I'm unable to tell who the snakes in the grass are. A even worse, most of them are pretty likable!! Worst. The hat was exceptionally useful, like a sneech with a star upon thars, I felt safer knowing who went into what bracket. Pink P***y hat = friend, Red Trump hat = enemy. Life was so simple and organized that weekend. Good vs. Evil. Left or right. This is what f****d me up about the election in the first place is that I had been living in a echo chamber of my own creation, full of like minded humans whose brains had evolved past 1952 and who shared similar world views to me about seemingly basic human rights, abortion, education, separation of church and state, the environment, immigration, refugees etc....and while I thought the rest of the country had been advancing in a similar fashion, it turns out that the deep amounts of sadness, hate, frustration, fake news and lack of upward mobility has seemingly turned the judgement of people who normally I'm sure, are lovely kind warm hearted people into xenophobic wall loving trumpeters. So here we are. We are one country. We are full gorgeous colored humans who came here with all their flavors, dance moves, work ethic, and individual style all adding to the big beautiful crucible that is this big weird f****d up country. We all have to get along somehow. I will say this however, trump folk, you've got four years, 1300 days.... In that time, me and a vast army of kevlar coated pussies are going to be plotting, planning, scheming and dreaming about how to neutralize your hate and banish the patriarchy, because the time for Testosterone is OVER. Millions of galvanized women from all over this great land are organizing and they won't listen to this "Locker Room Talk," anymore. F**K THAT.

    42 min
  3. 08/29/2024

    DID AN "EX" "GGGRAND" "WIZARD" OF THE "KKK" JUST CONVINCE ME TO VOTE FOR TRUMP?

    I feel like Ahab lost in a sea of hatred looking for a great white whale to give my life meaning again. I literally don't know what to do or say anymore. The hate is so deep, the ideology is so wrong. I left this country to get away from this and the moment I'm back I literally trip and land on the laps of two actual real life trump voting, grand wizard loving men. These two were gems. Fathers, business owners, best friends, hard working Americans..and the are the reason Trump got elected.  We are f****d f****d f****d f****d f****d f****d f****d. I won't spoil it, but they literally contradict themselves at every turn. I couldn't believe he could say things so diametrically opposed to one another. It was like watching trump himself twirl around chasing his own hair piece. We are so f****d. That's all there is to it. Dudes like this are deciding our future, and honestly I liked them both. This isn't black and white, this is a prism of butt f*****y, and Trump doesn't even have the decency to use lube. GET ANGRY EVERYONE. Get up off your ass. RUN FOR OFFICE. CHANGE THE SYSTEMS. HEAL / REPAIR..IT IS ALL OUR COLLECTIVE BACK YARD. UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE / FOUNDATIONAL EDUCATION FOR THE GLOBE - DEFUNDING EVERYTHING - PLACES OF HEALING FOR TRUMA - UNIVERSAL INCOME - WE DON'T NEED AN INDUSTRIAL MILTARY GLOBAL COMPLEX IF WE AREN'T LIVING IN SCARCITY AND FEAR.  HOST NOTE I of course f****d up the sound AGAIN, I am the least pro "journalist" of all actual time. One day I'm going to have like a team of well dressed men with boom mikes and fancy monitors...but until then, it's just me and my medium audio skills so deepest apologies, I had to cut a lot of it due to sheer sloppy sound quality. Music: Good Ole Boys: Randy Newman Mary Don't You Weep - Aretha Franklin Edited by Emily Brodtman: Check her out at emilybrodtman.com Support me on patreon https://www.patreon.com/oralfixation Rate my podcast Read my guide to life! www.zoenightingale.com support the best org ever: www.wck.org  Keep me in your prayers everyone = i have arrived in reno - basically penniless on a quest to get to actual zero. I am giving everything i love away in search of who i am without my megaphone and glitter.  LAME TIMES INFINITI

    23 min
  4. 08/23/2024

    THE ANSWER TO LIFE IS 42

    Greeting and salutations my fair weather friends, apologies for my absence, but I needed to take a break from my own brain and reorient my north star. However, I'm back! This is my first humble offering, coverage of the best day of all time, the day that Joe Biden officially won the presidency, and NYC erupted into actual flames of celebration. THIS IS OF COURSE 4 YEARS AGO - THE QUESTION IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN NOW. CAN WE DO IT CAN WE ACTUALLY ELECT A POWERFUL BLACK WOMAN AND MAYBE ACTUALLY GET RID OF ALL THESE OLD WHITE SCHMECKLES AND DO ANYTHING FOR A TINY GRAIN OF SAND OF CHANGE? ANYWAY:  In my life, I have never seen this kind of joy. The moment he won, I swear to you, squeals, shrieks, honks, pots and pans clanging, laughter, screams, sirens all instantaneously rolled through NYC like a thunderous cloud blanketing every ear drum in jubliant glee. So, I bought 8 mid priced champagnes, put on a red white and blue outfit, painted stars in my face, put on my F**K TRUMP NO LUBE camouflage trucker hat that I made in times square in 2016, powered up my recorders and hit the streets. I must have gone to every bourough in the city. I was completely wasted by 12 pm. Like first day of freshman year, keg stand, girls gone wild blatto blasted. So, please expect the timber of my voice to be, how do I put it nicely...like a phone sex operator who smokes newport 100's back to back while verberally jerking off married men from Kansas. I'm not proud of it, but I yam what I yam, and unfortunely for you, this is not my best work. What's worse is that I did like 100 more interviews only to realize that my card had been full the whole time. Just sloppy journalism all around. BUT, this was just the most beautiful day. The dancing, the joy, the tears of relief made the air electric and the day finalized in a burning man like mega rave in McCarren park where we danced until the sun came up. It was magic baby. Anyway, the goal is not to go to brunch. The goal is to continue to fight for the world we want to live in and cleanse ourselves of the last four years, try to eek out a little dignity and restore our country to some semblance of the dream it is supposed to represent. Keep fighting, stay vigilant everyone. All eyes on our you Georgia, make us proud. PS! Shout out to Sean and Cass from the Very Ape Podcast for letting me accost them with my microphones that day, I LOVE YOU BOTH SO F*****G MUCH IT HURTS. Check out their most excellent podcast at www.veryape.tv Follow me! @drznightingale = insta @genuinelyfalse = twitter www.zoenightingale.com = website Artwork by @danadrewdles Music: America, Team World Police - Matt Stone/Trey Parker Sync 84 - Noah Lampert - check out his amazing podcast at www.syncpod.com

    27 min
4.8
out of 5
174 Ratings

About

You're Welcome is a satirical improv comedy show whose goal is to find and share peoples stories, from all over the world. Each episode is unique and can range from 5 minutes to an hour, and will feature a brand new topic usually with someone Zoe has just met. This podcast is not for the faint of heart, buckle up. ABOUT YOU'RE WELCOME Like most brilliant ideas, this show was started over a molotov concoction of alcohol and various illicit substances. Zoe had given up on her life long dream, of being the female Howard Stern years ago but finally set out armed with a folding table, a couple lawn chairs, and a foam board sign that read "Free Sex Advice." One by one strangers stopped what they were doing and sat down to talk to them about their lives. We'd like to take this moment to thank you for coming to our site and leave you with the eternal words of Oscar Wilde: "I was under the impression that inordinate joviality can atone for an entire lack of class" This show is done for one reason only, to bring laughter and remind you that we are all the same.