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Apex Express is a proud collective member of AACRE, Asian Americans for Civil Rights and Equality. AACRE focuses on long-term movement building, capacity infrastructure, and leadership support for Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders committed to social justice.

  1. 2 DAYS AGO

    APEX Express – 3.19.26- The Power of Tenderness

    A weekly magazine-style radio show featuring the voices and stories of Asians and Pacific Islanders from all corners of our community. The show is produced by a collective of media makers, deejays, and activists. Tonight on APEX Express Host Miko Lee speaks with Restorative Justice Educator and Author Tatiana Chaterji about her work on the power of tenderness. Tune in!   Tatiana Chaterji’s website Show Transcript [00:00:00] Opening Music: Apex Express Asian Pacific expression. Community and cultural coverage, music and calendar, new visions and voices, coming to you with an Asian Pacific Islander point of view. It’s time to get on board the Apex Express.   [00:00:44] Miko Lee: Good evening. I’m your host Miko Lee, and tonight we are speaking with Tatiana Chaterji about Restorative Justice. Restorative justice is a movement and a set of practices that stands as an alternative to our current punitive justice system. It focuses on people and repairing harm by engaging all the impacted folks working together to repair that harm. RJ is built off of ancient indigenous practices from cultures around the globe, including Native American, African, first Nation, Canadian, and many others. So join us with Tatiana Chaterji.    [00:01:23] Tati, who are your people and what legacy do you carry with you?    [00:01:28] Tatiana Chaterji: Thank you for the question, Miko. The first thing that comes to mind, my people are the people we’re, we’re, we’re coming up on the cusp of a possible teacher strike, and I’m thinking about workers and the labor, movement and comrades in my life from doing, work as a classified school worker for about a decade.   [00:01:49] Then my people are also from my homelands. The two that I feel very close to me are in Finland, from my mom’s side, and then in Bengal, both India, west Bengal, and Bangladesh. And my people are also those who are facing facing the worst moments of their life, either from causing harm or experiencing harm as a survivor of violence.   [00:02:11] I think about this a lot and I think about also the smaller conflicts and tensions and issues that bubble up all the time. So my people are those that are not afraid to make it better, you know, to make it right. And I carry, oh gosh, what legacy do I. I wanna say first kind of the legacy of the Oakland RJ movement that really nurtured me and the youth that I’ve encountered in schools and in detention on the streets in the community. [00:02:41] Youth who are young adults and becoming bigger, older adults and, and, and also elders. To me. So sort of that’s whose legacy I carry in shaping the. Society that we all deserve.    [00:02:55] Miko Lee: Thank you for answering with such a rich, well thought out response that’s very expansive and worldly. I appreciate that. Can you share what brought you to this work personally?   [00:03:07] Tatiana Chaterji: Sure. As a young activist involved in Insight Women of Color against Violence and aware of the work of Critical Resistance, and I had a pretty clear politics of abolition, but I didn’t. Really think that it impacted me as personally as it did when I was in my early twenties and I suffered a brain injury from a vehicular assault, a hit and run that may have been gang affiliated or, a case of mistaken identity. My recovery is, is, is complicated. My journey through various kinds of disabilities has shaped me. But I think the way that I was treated by the police and by the justice quote unquote justice system, which I now call the criminal legal system, it because there was no justice.   [00:03:52] I sort of don’t believe that justice is served in the ways that survivors need. yeah, I really, I got very close to the heart of what an RJ process can do and what RJ really is. I got introduced to Sonya Shah and the work of Suha bga and I was able to do a surrogate victim offender dialogue and then later to facilitate these processes where people are kind of meeting at the, at the hardest point of their lives and connecting across immense suffering and layers of systemic and interpersonal internalized oppression.   [00:04:26] Just so much stuff and what happens when you can cross over into a shared humanity and recognition. It’s just, it’s just so profound and and from that space of healing and, and, and compassion, I’ve been able to think about. Other ways that RJ can look and have sort of been an advan, what is it evangelical for it?   [00:04:51] You know, I think that because we don’t see these options, I, I, because I knew people, I was able to connect in this way and I would just shout out David uim, who’s the one who told me that even if I didn’t know the person who harmed me, that this was possible. People so often give up, they’re just like, well, I have to feel this way.   [00:05:10] I have to just deal with it. Swallow the injustice and the lack of recognition. Just sort of keep going. Grit your teeth. I think we don’t have enough knowledge of what’s possible and so we harden ourselves My name is Tatiana Chaterji. I’ll be reading my flash essay split. Before I didn’t know what a traumatic brain injury was. My tongue had not curled the letters TBI together shaping the sound of nightmare. I had not heard the clipping of staples from a scalp fused after it was split to release pressure.   [00:05:46] They said, removing the right cranial bone flap, not conceived of the skull as giving pressure, a living organism of its own, a piece of its stored in a freezer for months after being removed in the dead of night. Attempted murder, vehicular assault under a blanket of fog. This city, these hidden stars.   [00:06:07] Never concerned myself with science or medicine or the mechanics of survival, the filaments of me unbreaking encased as they were in a thick clay from where I stood young and forceful, standing or walking or sitting, because I wanted to willful, bold, joy, stubborn, had not needed to wait for the all clear discharge orders that released me to a world of indifference.   [00:06:33] Before I didn’t know life without its sense. Its tastes that the olfactory nerve stretches behind the eyes, vulnerable to bruising or severing from an impact to the head that you won’t know until you know an extended game of dice that ultimately rolled no permanent damage. You will smell again, but with loss.   [00:06:52] Unfamiliar associating Jasmine for coffee, revulsion to orange comfort and cinnamon. Before I had not been the target of any physical or lasting harm. Had not thought that victim or survivor would ever describe me. Had not organized a vigil for rape survivors as I did while unconscious dreaming, waking up to pelvic bruises, believing I was one of them.   [00:07:19] The brain injury bisected my life until I realized it was one in a string of paper cuts that stop hurting eventually, that there will be other moments that change me, that there are many ways to slice a life when I pull her to my chest. A sticky, slimy worm, six pounds, four ounces, eyes closed, mulling to find her place on my chest for the first time.   [00:07:44] My chin against the wet mess of hair. When he carries me over the threshold into our suite at the Wise Owl Hotel in South Colta, garlands of sweet Jasmine adorn my hair and my henna painted arms drip with gold. When the drama therapist asks the group to simulate the attack rushing towards me so I can do what I wished I had done, run away.   [00:08:11] It returns my power and I own what’s mine Fingertips. Throbbing with the life they can grasp. Sirens through the dark machines. Beeping into a week of unconsciousness, awakening to wonder and madness. One toe at suicide’s brink, recovering in this outpatient patient treatment program for depression and anxiety.   [00:08:31] All of it here. The breath and meat and sky. When I walked through the gates of San Quentin State Prison for the first time, shuttering at the cold, heavy clank permanence at my back. The man in front of me breathes nervously in his starched blue uniform, gently meeting my eyes to say, I’ve never met a real victim before.   [00:08:53] Thank you for coming. He is, of course, a crime victim, but also an offender, and there isn’t room to be both in this place. I am here for the penultimate session of Victim Offender Education and Dialogue where the men have met for over a year now, each week to learn empathy and build rigorous self-reflection muscles to take accountability.   [00:09:18] They are ready to present their crime impact statements and to listen to a panel of survivors. None of us directly harmed or were harmed by each other. We are all surrogates. This then is the greatest innocence, the widest Gulf I’ve crossed before, sitting with men who have killed, who have touched this threshold, this fever wound of life and God and pain.   [00:09:44] My eyes were full of dew. I was blind to the logics of violence, the way the toxins seep under and you merge with its poison that you become dehumanized. Brutal. A mentality of war. The hurt echoing at a different pitch. Copper pebbles in an empty cave. Before I sat alone in confusion, untangling the threads of my trauma with what I knew from a peaceful life of privilege.   [00:10:12] In that first circle at San Quentin and every subsequent circle, I uncloak this ache, hear from men who explain the numbness, danger in every corner under the shadow of each day. I let them hold my story, share its load. Listen to theirs, my witness body lifting off bits of the weight they carry. I welcome insights previously unimaginable.   [00:10:39] Receive apologies I didn’t know I needed. It’s as if the lights switch on all at once, a brightness. The dialogue melts the isolation of my suffering. Its icy blanket of shame, allowing me to see what had been there all along, not monster. A human did this to me, broken alone, and suddenly I have permission to heal for 10 days.   [0

    1 hr

  2. 12 MAR

    APEX Express – 3.12.26- Feed Your Heart

    A weekly magazine-style radio show featuring the voices and stories of Asians and Pacific Islanders from all corners of our community. The show is produced by a collective of media makers, deejays, and activists. Tonight our show is called Feed Your Heart. Host Miko Lee speaks with the collaborators and creators of the Asian American Pacific Islander Restorative Justice Network: Elli Nagai-Rothe & Tatiana Chaterji.   Restorative Justice is a movement and a set of practices that stands as an alternative to our current punitive justice system. It focuses on people and repairing harm by engaging all the impacted people working together to repair the harm. RJ is built off of ancient indigenous practices from cultures around the globe, including Native American, African, First Nation Canadian, and so many others. To find out more about Restorative Justice and the work of our guests check out Info about the AAPI RJ Network on the Ripple website: www.ripplecollective.org/aapirjnetwork NACRJ conference in New Orleans: www.nacrj.org/2026-conference Show Transcript [00:00:00] Opening Music: Apex Express Asian Pacific expression. Community and cultural coverage, music and calendar, new visions and voices, coming to you with an Asian Pacific Islander point of view. It’s time to get on board the Apex Express.   [00:00:44] Miko Lee: Good evening. I’m your host Miko Lee, and tonight our show is called Feed Your Heart. And we are speaking about the collaborators and creators of the Asian American Pacific Islander Restorative Justice Network with the collaborators, Elli Nagai-Rothe and Tatiana Chaterji.   [00:01:03] Restorative justice is a movement and a set of practices that stands as an alternative to our current punitive justice system. It focuses on people and repairing harm by engaging all the impacted folks working together to repair that harm. RJ is built off of ancient indigenous practices from cultures around the globe, including Native American, African, first Nation Canadian, and many others. So join us as we feed your heart.    [00:02:01] Welcome to Apex Express. My lovely colleagues, Elli Nagai-Rothe, and Tatiana Chaterji. I’m so happy to speak with you both today. I wanna start off with a question I ask all of my guests, and Ellie, I’m gonna start with you and then we’ll go with to you, Tati. And the question is who are your people and what legacy do you carry with you?   [00:02:24] Elli Nagai-Rothe: Hmm. I love that question. Thank you. My people come from Japan and Korea and China and Germany. My people are community builders and entrepreneurs survivors, people who have caused harm, people who have experienced harm people who’ve worked towards repair dreamers, artists and people who like really good food.   [00:02:51] And I carry their legacy of resilience and of gaman, which is a Japanese word that’s a little hard to translate, but basically means something like moving through moving through the unbearable with dignity and grace. , And I carry a legacy to continue healing the trauma from my ancestral line the trauma and justice. And that’s informs a lot of the work that I do around conflict transformation and restorative justice.   [00:03:19] Miko Lee: Thank you so much. And Tati, what about you? Who are your people and what legacy do you carry with you?    [00:03:25] Tatiana Chaterji: Thank you for the question, Miko. The first thing that comes to mind, my people are the people we’re, we’re, we’re coming up on the cusp of a possible teacher strike, and I’m thinking about workers and the labor, movement and comrades in my life from doing work as a classified school worker for about a decade.   [00:03:46] Then my people are also from, my homelands. The two that I feel very close to me are in Finland, from my mom’s side, and then in Bengal, both India, west Bengal, and Bangladesh. And my people are also those who are facing facing the worst moments of their life, either from causing harm or experiencing harm as a survivor of violence.   [00:04:08] I think about this a lot and I think about also the smaller conflicts and tensions and issues that bubble up all the time. So my people are those that are not afraid to make it better, you know, to make it right. And I carry, oh gosh, what legacy do I. I wanna say first kind of the legacy of the Oakland RJ movement that really nurtured me and the youth that I’ve encountered in schools and in detention on the streets in the community.   [00:04:39] Youth who are young adults and becoming bigger, older adults and, and, and also elders. To me. So sort of that’s whose legacy I carry in shaping the. Society that we all deserve.    [00:04:52] Miko Lee: Thank you both for answering with such a rich, well thought out response that’s very expansive and worldly. I appreciate that. Ellie, I think it was two years ago that you reached out to me and said, I’m thinking about doing this thing with Asian American Pacific Islanders around restorative justice and you’re working on a project with Asian Law Caucus. Can you like roll us back in time about how that got inspired, how you started and where we’re at right now?   [00:05:22] Elli Nagai-Rothe: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I’d forgotten that we, I had reached out to you at the early stages of this miko. The idea for this emerged in the context of conversations I was having with Asian Law Caucus around, anti-Asian violence and restorative justice. There was an enthusiasm for restorative justice as a pathway toward healing for AAPI communities. One of the things that kept coming up in those conversations was this assumption that there are no, or very few Asian restorative justice practitioners. And I kept thinking this, that’s not true. There are a lot, plenty of Asian practitioners. And I think that for me reflects the larger context that we’re living in the US where Asians are both at the same time, like hyper visible, , right. In terms of some of the violence that was happening. If you roll back several years ago I mean it’s still happening now, but certainly was, was at the height several years ago. So like hyper visible around that, but also in terms of like my model minority status, but also at the same time like invisibilized. So that strange paradox. And so my part of that was thinking about, well, what, what opportunities exist here, right? How can we actually bring together the restorative justice, Asian restorative justice practitioners in the Bay Area to be like regionally focused to come together to talk about how do we bring our identities into more fully into our work, , to build community with each other, and then also to build this pathway for new, for emergent practitioners to join us in this work. That’s a little bit of the background of how it came to be, and I’d love Tati to speak more to some of that context too.   [00:07:00] Tatiana Chaterji: Yeah, thanks Ellie. Definitely thinking about work that I was doing in Chinatown and San Francisco. I was working with Chinese Progressive Association just before actually Asian Law Caucus reached out to us with this idea. I wanna shout out Lewa and Cheyenne Chen Le Wu, who are really envisioning an alternative process for their the members of this organization who are immigrant monolingual Cantonese speakers and, and working class immigrants. What are the options available to them to respond to harm and violence in any, any number of ways? And one of the things that we really saw.   [00:07:37] Miko Lee: Non carceral, right? Non carceral options to violence and harm, right?    [00:07:42] Tatiana Chaterji: Yes, exactly. That’s exactly what we were thinking of is, and in the period of time where people are talking about anti-Asian hate, they’re talking about hate crimes and violence against Asian Americans, there’s a simultaneous rhetoric and a belief that Asian people love police or want police interventions or actually believe al punishment. And no doubt that can be true for, for some of our community, but it is not the overwhelmingly dominant truth is what I would say. What I would say, and that actually by believing that Asian folks loved the police was its own bizarre and very toxic racial stereotyping that. Very vulnerable communities who are non-English speakers and living un under wage exploitation and other conditions.   [00:08:34] And so what we were doing was looking at what are the ways that we think about justice and the right way to respond to things and our relational ecosystems. And we began with messages from our home and family dynamics and kind of went outwards and, and everything was presented in Cantonese. I’m not a Cantonese speaker. I was working closely with those two women I mentioned and many others to think about. What is. Not just the, the linguistic translation of these concepts, but what is the cultural meaning and what applies or what can be sort of furthered in that context. And there were some very inspiring stories at the time of violence across communities in the city, and particularly between the Chinese community and the African American community and leaders in those spaces working together and calling forth the abolitionist dreams that were kind of already there.   [00:09:28] That people just want this kind of harm or violence not to happen. They don’t want it to happen to anyone again. And this is some thing I think about a lot as a survivor, that that is the dominant feeling is like we, you know, vengeance are not desires for some sort of punishment or not, that this should not happen again. And what can we do to prevent that and really care for the healing that needs to happen.    [00:09:53] Miko Lee: I appreciate you bringing up this solidarity between the African American and, and specifically Chinese American communities wanting a more abolitionist approach. We don’t hear that very much in mainstream media. Usually it’s pitted the Asian against

    1 hr

  3. 12 FEB

    APEX Express – 2.12.26 – Anti-Pacific Islander Hate Amid Ongoing Injustice

    APEX Express is a weekly magazine-style radio show featuring the voices and stories of Asians and Pacific Islanders from all corners of our community. The show is produced by a collective of media makers, deejays, and activists. On this episode, the Stop AAPI Hate Pacific Islander Advisory Council discuss a new report on anti–Pacific Islander hate. They examine the documented impacts of hate, structural barriers Pacific Islander communities face in reporting and accessing support, and the long-standing traditions of resistance and community care within PI communities.   Important Links: Stop AAPI Hate Stop AAPI Hate Anti-Pacific Islander Hate Report If you have questions related to the report, please feel free to contact Stop AAPI Hate Research Manager Connie Tan at ctan@stopaapihate.org Community Calendar: Upcoming Lunar New Year Events Saturday, February 14 – Sunday, February 15 – Chinatown Flower Market Fair, Grant Avenue (fresh flowers, arts activities, cultural performances) Tuesday, February 24 – Drumbeats, Heartbeats: Community as One, San Francisco Public Library (Lunar New Year and Black History Month celebration) Saturday, February 28 – Oakland Lunar New Year Parade, Jackson Street Saturday, March 7 – Year of the Horse Parade, San Francisco Throughout the season – Additional Lunar New Year events, including parades, night markets, and museum programs across the Bay Area and beyond. Transcript: [00:00:00]  Miata Tan: Hello and welcome. You are tuning in to Apex Express, a weekly radio show uplifting the voices and stories of Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders. I’m your host, Miata Tan and tonight we’re examining community realities that often go under reported. The term A API, meaning Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders is an [00:01:00] acronym we like to use a lot, but Pacific Islander peoples, their histories and their challenges are sometimes mischaracterized or not spoken about at all. Stop A API Hate is a national coalition that tracks and responds to the hate experience by A API communities through reporting, research and advocacy. They’ve released a new report showing that nearly half of Pacific Islander adults experienced an act of hate in 2024 because of their race, ethnicity, or nationality. Tonight we’ll share conversations from a recent virtual community briefing about the report and dive into its findings and the legacy of discrimination experienced by Pacific Islanders. Isa Kelawili Whalen: I think it doesn’t really help that our history of violence between Pacific Islander Land and Sea and the United States, it already leaves a sour taste in your mouth. When we Pacifica. Think [00:02:00] about participating in American society and then to top it off, there’s little to no representation of Pacific Islanders. Miata Tan: That was the voice of Isa Kelawili Whalen, Executive Director at API Advocates and a member of Stop, A API hates Pacific Islander Advisory Council. You’ll hear more from Isa and the other members of the advisory council soon. But first up is Cynthia Choi, the co-founder of Stop, A API, Hate and co-Executive Director of Chinese for affirmative action. Cynthia will help to ground us in the history of the organization and their hopes for this new report about Pacific Islander communities. Cynthia Choi: As many of you know, Stop API Hate was launched nearly six years ago in response to anti-Asian hate during COVID-19 pandemic. And since then we’ve operated as the [00:03:00] nation’s largest reporting center tracking anti A. PI Hate Acts while working to advance justice and equity for our communities. In addition to policy advocacy, community care and narrative work, research has really been Central to our mission because data, when grounded in community experience helps tell a fuller and more honest story about the harms our communities face. Over the years, through listening sessions and necessary and hard conversations with our PI community members and leaders, we’ve heard a consistent. An important message. Pacific Islander experiences are often rendered invisible when grouped under the broader A API umbrella and the forms of hate they experience are shaped by distinct histories, ongoing injustice, and unique cultural and political [00:04:00] context. This report is in response to this truth and to the trust Pacific Islander communities have placed in sharing their experience. Conducted in partnership with NORC at the University of Chicago, along with stories from our reporting center. we believe these findings shed light on the prevalence of hate, the multifaceted impact of hate and how often harm goes unreported. Our hope is that this report sparks deeper dialogue and more meaningful actions to address anti pi hate. We are especially grateful to the Pacific Islander leaders who have guided this work from the beginning. Earlier this year, uh, Stop API hate convened Pacific Islander Advisory Council made up of four incredible leaders, Dr. Jamaica Osorio Tu‘ulau‘ulu Estella Owoimaha Church, Michelle Pedro, and Isa Whalen. Their leadership, wisdom [00:05:00] and care have been essential in shaping both our research and narrative work. Our shared goal is to build trust with Pacific Islander communities and to ensure that our work is authentic, inclusive, and truly reflective of lived experiences. These insights were critical in helping us interpret these findings with the depth and context they deserve.  Miata Tan: That was Cynthia Choi, the co-founder of Stop, A API, hate and co-Executive Director of Chinese for affirmative action. As Cynthia mentioned to collect data for this report, Stop A API Hate worked with NORC, a non-partisan research organization at the University of Chicago. In January, 2025, Stop A API. Hate and norc conducted a national survey that included 504 Pacific Islander respondents. The survey [00:06:00] examined the scope of anti Pacific Islander hate in 2024, the challenges of reporting and accessing support and participation in resistance and ongoing organizing efforts. We’ll be sharing a link to the full report in our show notes at kpfa.org/program/apex-express. We also just heard Cynthia give thanks to the efforts of the Stop A API hate Pacific Islander Advisory Council. this council is a team of four Pacific Islander folks with a range of professional and community expertise who helped Stop A API hate to unpack and contextualize their new report. Tonight we’ll hear from all four members of the PI Council. First up is Dr. Jamaica Osorio, a Kanaka Maoli wahine artist activist, and an Associate Professor of Indigenous and native Hawaiian politics [00:07:00] at the University of Hawaiʻi at Mānoa . Here’s Dr. Jamaica, reflecting on her initial reaction to the report and what she sees going on in her community. Dr. Jamaica Heolimeleikalani Osorio: Aloha kākou. Thank you for having us today. I think the biggest thing that stood out to me in the data and the reporting that I haven’t really been able to shake from my head, and I think it’s related to something we’re seeing a lot in our own community, was the high levels of stress and anxiety that folks in our community were experiencing and how those high levels were almost, they didn’t really change based on whether or not people had experienced hate. Our communities are living, um, at a threshold, a high threshold of stress and anxiety, um, and struggling with a number of mental health, issues because of that. And I think this is an important reminder in relationship to the broader work we might be doing, to be thinking about Stopping hate acts against folks in our community and in other communities, but really to think about what are the [00:08:00] conditions that people are living under that make it nearly unlivable for our communities to survive in this place. Uh, the, the other thing that popped out to me that I wanna highlight is the data around folks feeling less welcome. How hate acts made certain folks in our community feel less welcome where they’re living. And I kind of wanna. Us to think more about the tension between being unwelcomed in the so-called United States, and the tension of the inability for many of our people to return home, uh, if they would’ve preferred to actually be in our ancestral homes. And what are. How are those conditions created by American Empire and militarism and nuclearization, kind of the stuff that we talked about as a panel early on but also as we move away from today’s conversation thinking about like what is. The place of PIs in the so-called United States. Uh, what does it mean to be able to live in your ancestral homeland like myself, where America has come to us, and chosen to stay? What does it mean for our other PI family members who have [00:09:00] come to the United States? Because our homes have been devastated by us militarism and imperialism. That’s what’s sitting with me that I think may not. Immediately jump out of the reporting, but we need to continue to highlight, uh, in how we interpret. Miata Tan: That was Dr. Jamaica Osorio, an Associate Professor of Indigenous and native Hawaiian politics at the University of Hawaiʻi at Māno a.  Now let’s turn to Isa Kelawili Whalen. Isa is the Executive Director of API Advocates and another member of the Stop A API hate Pacific Islander Advisory Council. Here Isa builds on what Dr. Jamaica was saying about feelings of stress and anxiety within the Pacific Islander communities. Okay. She also speaks from her experience as an Indigenous CHamoru and Filipino woman. Here’s Isa. Isa Kelawili Whalen: [00:10:00] American society and culture is drastically different from Pacifica Island and our culture, our roots, traditions, and so forth, as are many ethnicities and identities out there. But for us who are trying to figure out how to constantly navigate between the two, it’s a little polarizing. Trying to fit in into. Ameri

    1 hr

  4. 5 FEB

    APEX Express – 2.5.26-Envisioning Hopeful Futures

    A weekly magazine-style radio show featuring the voices and stories of Asians and Pacific Islanders from all corners of our community. The show is produced by a collective of media makers, deejays, and activists. Envisioning Hopeful Futures Host Miko Lee speaks with two Bay Area artists, activists, and social change makers: Tara Dorabji and Cece Carpio. Both of these powerful people have been kicking it up in the bay for a minute. They worked in arts administration as community organizers and as artist activists.   LINKS TO OUR GUESTS WORK Tara Dorabji Author’s website New book Call Her Freedom Find more information about what is happening in Kashmir Stand With Kashmir Cece Carpio  Tabi Tabi Po running at Somarts   SHOW Transcript Opening Music: Apex Express Asian Pacific expression. Community and cultural coverage, music and calendar, new visions and voices, coming to you with an Asian Pacific Islander point of view. It’s time to get on board the Apex Express. Miko Lee: Good evening. I’m your host Miko Lee, and tonight I have the pleasure of speaking with two Bay Area local artists, activists, and social change makers, Tara Dorabji and Cece Carpio. Both of these powerful people have been kicking it up in the bay for a minute. They worked in arts administration as community organizers and as artist activists. I so love aligning with these multi hyphenated women whose works you can catch right now. First up, I talk with my longtime colleague, Tara Dorabji Tara is an award-winning writer whose first book Call Her Freedom just came out in paperback. And I just wanna give a little background that over a decade ago I met Tara at a workshop with the Great Marshall Gantz, and we were both asked to share our stories with the crowd. During a break, Tara came up to me and said, Hey, are you interested in joining our radio show, Apex Express? And that began my time with Apex and the broader Asian Americans for Civil Rights and Equality community. So if you hear a tinge of familiarity and warmth in the interview, that’s because it’s real and the book is so great. Please check it out and go to a local bookstore and listen next to my chat with Tara. Welcome Tara Dorabji to Apex Express.  Tara Dorabji: Thank you so much for having me. It’s wonderful to be with you, Miko. Miko Lee: And you’re actually the person who pulled me into Apex Express many a moon ago, and so now times have changed and I’m here interviewing you about your book Call Her Freedom, which just was released in paperback, right? Tara Dorabji: Yep. It’s the one year book-anniversary. Miko Lee: Happy book anniversary. Let’s go back and start with a little bit for our audience. They may have heard you, if they’ve been a long time Apex listener, but you as an artist, as a creator, as a change maker tell me who are your people and what legacy do you carry with you? Tara Dorabji: Who are my people? My people I would say are those who really align with truth. Truth in the heart. That’s like at the very core of it. And I’m from the Bay Area. I’ve been organizing in the Bay a long time. I started out organizing around contaminated sites from nuclear weapons. I’ve moved into organizing with young people and supporting storytelling. So arts and culture has been a huge part of it. Of course, KPFA has been a big part of my journey, amplifying stories that have been silenced, and I think in terms of legacy, I’ve been thinking about this more and more. I think it goes into two categories for me. One are the relationships and who remembers you and and those deep heart connections. So that’s one part. And then for my artistry, it’s the artists that come and can create. On the work that I’ve done and from that create things that I couldn’t even imagine. And so I really think that’s the deepest gift is not the art that you’re able to make, but what you create so that others can continue to create. Miko Lee: Thank you so much for sharing the deep kind of legacy and sense of collaboration that you’ve had with all these different artists that you’ve worked with and it’s, your work is very powerful. I read it a year ago when it first came out, and I love that it’s out in paper back now. Can you tell our audience what inspired Call her Freedom. Tara Dorabji: Call Her Freedom is very much inspired by the independence movement in Indian occupied Kashmir. And for me it was during the summer uprisings when, and this was way back in, In 2010-2009, after the Arab Spring and for the entire summer, Kashmir would be striking. It would shut down from mothers, grandmothers, women, children in the street. This huge nonviolent uprising, and I was really drawn to how it’s both one of the most militarized zones on earth. And how there was this huge nonviolent uprising happening and questions about what it could look like, even like liberation beyond the nation state. And so I was really drawn to that. My dad’s from Bombay, from Mumbai, that’s the occupying side of it, and ethnically we’re Parsi. So from Persia a thousand years ago. And so I think for me, at a personal level, there’s this question of, okay, my people have been welcomed and assimilated for generations, and yet you have indigenous folks to the region that are under a complete seizure and occupation as part of the post-colonial legacy. And so I went and when I went to Kashmir for the first time was in 2011, and I was there. Right when the state was verifying mass graves and was able to meet with human rights workers and defenders, and there was a woman whose husband had disappeared and she talked to me about going to the graves and she told me, she said I wanted to crawl in and hug those bones. Those are the lost and stolen brothers, sons, uncles, those are our people. And another woman I spoke to talked about how it gave her hope for the stories to carry beyond the region and for other people to hear them. And so that became a real core part of my work and really what call her freedom is born from. Miko Lee: Thank you for sharing and I know that you did a film series and I wonder if you could about Kashmir and about what’s going on, and I think that’s great because so many times we in American media don’t really hear what’s going on in these occupied lands. Can you talk a little bit about how the interconnectedness of your film series and the book and was that part of your research? Was it woven together? How did you utilize those two art forms?  Tara Dorabji: I think we’re both accidental filmmakers. That might be another way that our cross, our paths cross. In terms of medium. So for me, I was actually working with Youth Speaks the Brave New Voices Network at that time and doing a lot of short form. So video content, three minutes, 10 minutes, six minutes. And it was playing really well and what I was seeing coming outta kir by local filmmakers was beautiful, gorgeous, highly repressed work generally, longer form, and not always immediately accessible to an audience that didn’t have context, that hadn’t been, didn’t understand. And my thinking was this was a gap I could fill. I had experience, not as a filmmaker, but like overseeing film teams doing the work, right? And then here are some of the most silent stories of our time. So when I went back to do book research in 2018, I was like, Hey, why don’t I make some short form films now? I didn’t even know what I was getting into. And also I think. When you go in as a novelist, you’re absorbing your hearing and it takes time. There’s no clock. It was, it’s been the hardest project to get from start to finish. And I couldn’t be like, okay, Miko, like I’ve done it once. Now this is how you do it. And when people trust you with their story, there’s an urgency. So throughout the whole project, I was always seeking form. So my first trip went straight to KPFA radio. Took the stories, project sensor, took the stories, and so I wanted to build on that. And so the documentary films provided a more some are, I’m still working on, but there was some immediacy that I could release, at least the first film and the second film, and also I could talk about how can this work dovetail with campaigns happening on the ground and how can my work accelerate what human rights defenders are doing? So the first film here still was released with the first comprehensive report on torture from the region. And so it gave that report a whole different dimension in terms of conversation and accessibility. It was a difficult film but necessary, and because I had to spend so much time with. It was a difficult film but necessary, and because I had to spend so much time with transcribing, watching the footage over and over again, it really did inform my research from the B-roll to sitting and hearing the content and also for what people were willing to share. I think people shared in a different way during video interviews than when I was there for novel research. So it worked really well. And what I am, I think most proud of is that the work was able to serve what people were doing in a really good way, even though it’s really difficult work.  Miko Lee: It built on the communication strategies of those issues like the torture report and others that you’re working on.  Tara Dorabji: Exactly. And in that way I wasn’t just coming and taking stories, I was applying storytelling to the legal advocacy strategies that were underway. And, you make mistakes, so it’s not like there weren’t difficulties in the production and all of that. And then also being able to work with creatives on the ground and at times it just. You, it became increasingly difficult, like any type of money going out was too heavily scrutinized. But for a time you could work with creatives as part of the projects in the region and then that’s also super exciting.    [00:11:18] Miko Lee: Yeah. Can you talk a little bit more, I

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  5. 29 JAN

    APEX Express – 1.29.26 – White Switch

    A weekly magazine-style radio show featuring the voices and stories of Asians and Pacific Islanders from all corners of our community. The show is produced by a collective of media makers, deejays, and activists. Guest host Jovelyn Richards presents White Switch   WHITE SWITCH Show Transcript Opening: [00:00:00] Apex Express Asian Pacific expression. Community and cultural coverage, music and calendar, new visions and voices, coming to you with an Asian Pacific Islander point of view. It’s time to get on board the Apex Express.   Jovelyn Richards: [00:01:07] Hi, this is Jovelyn Richards and I’m happy to be here on Apex. Some of you may know me from Cover to Cover, which is every Tuesday at two o’clock, which I, um, spend time with artists, filmmakers, uh, writers, play writers, poets, to bring that to my audience. And on every third Monday you would hear me on Women’s Magazine and my colleagues. We all take one Monday and Tuesday on different topics from a feminist perspective, from a global perspective. And my specific way of approaching that is to look at writings and, um, that’s either from fiction or either it is nonfiction, but at the core of it, because my interest really is getting to the story of what it’s like to be human.   Jovelyn Richards: [00:02:05] Those reflect characters topics that really dig inside of that written by women who was in search of, in their research, their lives of highlighting either known people or ordinary people who are. Living in ways in which moves humanity forward. So that’s where you’ll find me. And so why am I here? I’m here because I did a project, uh, over a year ago, and this, this, uh, tape is, uh, this program is a long time coming. I partnered with this particular project with, so when you would be familiar with, and that’s Preeti Shekar last name is spelled S-H-E-K-A-R. And we began this story, uh, of looking at anti-blackness in the South Asian community together. So what I’m going to do is let you listen to a clip, not from Preeti or myself. But from someone else’s doing this anti-blackness work in South Asian communities with Ritu Bhasin, and the last spelling of her name is B-H-A-S-I-N. So we’ll take a listen to that and then I will be right back and have that discussion.   CLIP PLAYS   Jovelyn Richards: [00:04:46] All right, so here we go. And so one of the things I appreciated seeing and listening to her video when I first was introduced to her, that aligned with the work that myself and Preeti was doing in our project curriculum called The White Switch, and we’ll dig into that. What is the White Switch? What is the curriculum of the White Switch and how it came about? And so what I appreciate, the continuous work, you may wanna Google, if you don’t already know, you probably do with Ritu Bhasin, uh, because she speaks directly about anti-black, uh, racism within South Asian communities, especially among professionals and leaders. And as you’ve heard in the video, she shares what that experience has been. And I was so happy to be able to offer that in the beginning of this. Uh, broadcast so that it, uh, to break the sense of isolation just in myself. Speaking of it as a black woman, I was hoping that Preeti would be here, but she’s, um, back in India and I’ll talk a little bit about what that’s like for me, uh, that my co-create, um, my partner on this here.   Jovelyn Richards: [00:05:59] So the white switch and the history of it for years. Uh. Probably like close to 15 years now. We were part of the beginning of white, uh, women’s magazine and we had wanted to do something together. We knew that we wanted to work together without knowing the why, but every time we were in conversation in the building, uh, women’s magazine and the way I approach the topics, uh, as a collective. And where the resistance was, where the fun of it was at. Uh, and then her way she approached it, there was place the, the connected dots. So example would be for any of our lives, when you’re in very difficult conversations, you pay attention to the other, uh, uh, collaborators or whatever the, what the team is made of. And even if it’s to people and you see whether or not they’re coming from a place of inclusiveness, you’re seeing how, how hard they are holding on to their opinion, whether it’s negotiable, whether they’re really deeply listening. And what was really interesting to where we connect the is that we found that both of us and we were relatively new to each other.   Jovelyn Richards: [00:07:20] What we both found is that the humor. That in the heat of it all, or the conflict of it all, there was, we relied on this part of humor to not, to deflate and deflect from the situation, not to deflate it, like take off the, the, the fullness of the topic, but to give us all a moment to breathe in humor. Right? And, and that’s, that is part of my go-to as a standup comedian. So that’s real for me. So. Let’s talk about the white switch. So the, oh, so the, how it began, how we came up with that since we wanted to do a project together, how did we come up with the white switch anti-blackness in South Asian community Preeti, uh, was in New York over a year ago, and she was taking a Lyft in Harlem to wherever else she was going, or she was going to Harlem and the Lyft driver. South Asian, uh, driver asked her why was she going there or coming from there. Then she said, what do you mean? And he began to have a conversation around the dangers of that even. He didn’t always like to pick up folks there and he was referring to black folks. And so pretty him not knowing that she’s an independent journalist, she’s also an activist.   Jovelyn Richards: [00:08:48] Begin to ask important questions and starting with what has been your experience, your personal experience, and then your experience with others close to you that might have shared that is informing these thoughts. You have these feelings, you have these decisions you’re making, these things you’re telling me not to do, and he had nothing, none to offer. So the next question would be, so then, then. Why, and then from, if I got the story right, there was a, um, uh, moments of silence and so I think he was sort of processing, processing in his own mind. Why am I telling, why am I feeling this way? Why am I hesitant to go to areas where I know there’ll be black folks? Why am I telling a woman who is South Asian, particularly identifying with his own, uh, identity, wanting her not to go? And in that emptiness, one would hope that. Once he did self-reflection, uh, with that question that he was discovering, like he really didn’t have anything substantial to go by. And so when she got back from her trip, we were talking and she said this was very important to her, to talk about that.   Jovelyn Richards: [00:10:15] And uh, and I told her at the time, surprisingly enough that I was. Actually had been working on a project in my isolation, uh, called the White Switch, and that this coincidence, we wanted to take advantage of both of our energy of importance towards the matter. So the thesis statement within it is that the whites, which is a healing curriculum. This innovative program designed for activists very specifically anyone can, can be involved in the curriculum of, of essentially looking at the anti-blackness in any community outside of the black community. Specifically for activists and then, but anyone can do that if you, if they’re, you don’t have to be actively considering yourself an activist just by wanting to, to think about and look at the curriculum on some level. Something is activating inside and looking at that, and then to, in the curriculum to recognize as this, this Lyft driver did that there was no logical reason for him. To not only have that stance, but to offer it to strangers, then spreading that untruth or have no validity to it, right? And so the curriculum addresses that and to begin as, as to, to eradicate the deeper feelings despite being activists, despite education around anti-blackness.   Jovelyn Richards: [00:12:12] That even among the most astute South Asians, there are the deeper roots, the deeper roots of anti-blackness. And that is the white switch. The white switch. And so the, the pattern. The reoccurring pattern that one has seen politically in black communities. As we also heard in the, um, video, which were two of us seen, uh, has been, that is, is even after years of political education, community organizing, or DEI, where there’s a sudden internal shift that occurs. This shift is not intellectual, it is somatic. Emotional and rooted in the proximity to whiteness. And that switch, the white switch goes on immediately for survival purpose. So when confronted. By anti-blackness in conversation and actions, there’s a switch that goes off. Fight or flight, fight or flight. And when that happens, there are things that happen again in the activist. In, in communities that have, uh, fought for years for political education through community organizing. But the, the, the roots of the proximity to whiteness globally is no joke because literally it is saying, this is for your survival.   Jovelyn Richards: [00:14:18] You are invested here in this proximity to whiteness. For your survival, economically, social placement, accessibility, back to safety for all of the above, and this buried there even while you’re doing the, the, the radical work, however you show up, is sitting there with those deep roots, right? And so the workshop curriculum was created. I had started it before Preeti and I began doing it, um, writing about it. And I’ll give you that history. This is a good place to do the history of that. I had been doing political education around anti-blackness and around many issues, but what, this is what we’re speaking about, right? And educating around domestic. Other things were like hunger, domestic

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  6. 22 JAN

    APEX Express – 1.22.26 – What Is Community Safety?

    APEX Express is a weekly magazine-style radio show featuring the voices and stories of Asians and Pacific Islanders from all corners of our community. The show is produced by a collective of media makers, deejays, and activists. On this episode, host Miata Tan speaks with three guests from the Coalition for Community Safety and Justice (CCSJ), a leading community-based resource providing direct victim services for Asian Americans in San Francisco. They unpack CCSJ’s approach to policy change, community advocacy, and public education, and reveal how their Collective Knowledge Base Catalog captures lessons from their work. Important Links: Community Safety and Justice (CCSJ) CCSJ Collective Knowledge Base Catalog CCSJ‘s four founding partners are the Chinatown Community Development Center, Chinese for Affirmative Action, Chinese Progressive Association, and Community Youth Center. Transcript: [00:00:00]  Miata Tan: Hello and welcome. You are tuning into APEX Express, a weekly radio show, uplifting the voices and stories of Asian Americans. I am your host, Miata Tan, and today we are focusing on community safety. The Coalition for Community Safety and Justice, also known as CCSJ, is the leading community-based resource in providing direct victim [00:01:00] services for Asian Americans in San Francisco. The four founding partners of the Coalition are Chinatown Community Development Center, Chinese for Affirmative Action, Chinese Progressive Association, and the Community Youth Center. You might have heard of some of these orgs. Today we are joined by three incredibly hardworking individuals who are shaping this work. First up is Janice Li, the Coalition Director. Here she is unpacking the history of the Coalition for Community Safety and Justice, and the social moment in which it was formed in response to. Janice Li: Yeah, so we formed in 2019 and it was at a time where we were seeing a lot of high profile incidents impacting and harming our Asian American communities, particularly Chinese seniors. We were seeing it across the country due to rhetoric of the Trump administration at that time that was just throwing, oil onto fire and fanning the flames. [00:02:00] And we were seeing those high profile incidents right here in San Francisco. And the story I’ve been told, because I, I joined CCSJ as its Coalition Director in 2022, so it says a few years before I joined. But the story I’ve been told is that the Executive Directors, the staff at each of these four organizations, they kept seeing each other. At vigils and protests and rallies, and it was a lot of outpouring of community emotions and feelings after these high profile incidents. And the eds were like. It’s good that we’re seeing each other and coming together at these things, but like, what are we doing? How are we changing the material conditions of our communities? How are we using our history and our experience and the communities that we’ve been a part of for literally decades and making our communities safe and doing something that is more resilient than just. The immediate reactive responses that we often know happen [00:03:00] when there are incidents like this. Miata Tan:  And when you say incidents could you speak to that a little bit more?  Janice Li: Yeah. So there were, uh, some of the high profile incidents included a Chinese senior woman who was waiting for a bus at a MUNI stop who was just randomly attacked. And, there were scenes of her. Fighting back. And then I think that had become a real symbol of Asians rejecting that hate. And the violence that they were seeing. You know, at the same time we were seeing the spa shootings in Atlanta where there were, a number of Southeast Asian women. Killed in just completely senseless, uh, violence. And then, uh, we are seeing other, similar sort of high profile random incidents where Chinese seniors often where the victims whether harmed, or even killed in those incident. And we are all just trying to make sense of. What is happening? [00:04:00] And how do we help our communities heal first and foremost? It is hard to make sense of violence and also figure out how we stop it from happening, but how we do it in a way that is expansive and focused on making all of our communities better. Because the ways that we stop harm cannot be punitive for other individuals or other communities. And so I think that’s always been what’s really important for CCSJ is to have what we call a holistic view of community safety. Miata Tan: Now you might be wondering, what does a holistic view and approach to community safety look like in practice? From active policy campaigns to direct victim service support, the Coalition for Community Safety and Justice offers a range of different programs. Janice Li, the Coalition Director, categorizes this work into three different [00:05:00] buckets.  Janice Li: It is responding to harm when it occurs, and that’s, you know, really centering victims and survivors and the harm that they faced and the healing that it takes to help those, folks. The second piece is really figuring out how do we change our systems so that they’re responsive to the needs of our communities. And what that looks like is a lot of policy change and a lot of policy implementation. It’s a lot of holding government accountable to what they should be doing. And the third piece is recognizing that our communities don’t exist in vacuums and all of our work needs to be underpinned by cross-racial healing and solidarity. To acknowledge that there are historic tensions and cultural tensions between different communities of color in particular, and to name it, we know that there are historic tensions here in San Francisco between the Black and Chinese communities. We have to name it. We have to see it, and we have to bring community [00:06:00] leaders together, along with our community members to find spaces where we can understand each other. And most importantly for me is to be able to share joy so that when conflict does occur, that we are there to be able to build bridges and communities as part of the healing that we, that has to happen. Miata Tan: Let’s zoom in on the direct victim services work that CCSJ offers. What does this look like exactly and how is the Coalition engaging the community? How do people learn about their programs? Janice Li: We receive referrals from everyone, but initially, and to this day, we still receive a number of referrals from the police department as well as the District Attorney’s Victim Services division, where, you know, the role that the police and the DA’s office play is really for the criminal justice proceedings. It is to go through. What that form of criminal justice accountability. Could look like, but it’s [00:07:00] not in that way, victim centered. So they reach out to community based organizations like Community Youth Center, CYC, which runs CCSJ, direct Victim Services Program to provide additional community. Based services for those victims. And CYC takes a case management approach. CYC has been around for decades and their history has been working, particularly with youth, particularly at risk youth. And they have a long history of taking a case management approach for supporting youth in all the ways that they need support. And so they use this approach now for people of all ages, but many of the victims that we serve are adults, and many of them are senior, and almost all of them are limited English proficient. So they need not only culturally competent support, but also in language support. And so the case management approach is we figure out what it is that person needs. And sometimes it’s mental health [00:08:00] services and sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s trying to figure out in home social services, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes for youth it might be figure out how to work with, SF Unified school district, our public school system you know, does that student need a transfer? It could be the world of things. I think the case management approach is to say, we have all of these possible tools, all of these forms of healing at our disposal, and we will bring all of those resources to the person who has been harmed to help their healing process. Miata Tan: I’m curious. I know we can’t speak to specific cases, but. how did this work evolve? what did it look like then and what does it look like today? Janice Li: What I would say is that every single case is so complex and what the needs of the victims are and for their families who might be trying to process, you know, the death of one of their loved ones. What that [00:09:00] healing looks like and what those needs are. There’s not one path, one route, one set of services that exist, but I think what is so important is to really center what those needs are. I think that the public discourse so much of the energy and intention ends up being put on the alleged perpetrator. Which I know there’s a sense of, well, if that person is punished, that’s accountability. But that doesn’t take into account. Putting back together the pieces of the lives that have been just shattered due to these awful, terrible, tragic incidents.  And so what we’ve learned through the direct victim services that we provide in meeting harm when it occurs is sometimes it’s victims wake you up in the hospital and wondering, how am I going to take care of my kids? Oh my gosh, what if I lose my job? How am I gonna pay for this? I don’t speak English. I don’t understand what my doctors and nurses are telling me [00:10:00] right now. Has anyone contacted my family? What is going on? What I’ve seen from so many of these cases is that there aren’t people there. in the community to support those folks in that sort of like intimate way because the, the public discourse, the newspaper articles the TV news, it’s all about, that person who committed this crime, are they being

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  7. 15 JAN

    APEX Express – 1.15.26 – Chat with Authors

    A weekly magazine-style radio show featuring the voices and stories of Asians and Pacific Islanders from all corners of our community. The show is produced by a collective of media makers, deejays, and activists. Tonight’s Host Miko Lee speaks with authors who have used their personal lives to tell their stories. They both talk and write about trauma, joy and resilience but in two very different ways. First up she chats with Chanel Miller. Many folx might know of Chanel’s best selling first book Know My Name which expands on the powerful victim impact letter she wrote to Brock Turner who brutally sexually assaulted her on the Stanford Campus. We talk about her latest work – two delightful books for young people. Then Miko talks with Kazu Haga who weaves his spiritual practice and trauma healing with a deep lineage of nonviolent social change.  In his books, Fierce Vulnerability and Healing Resistance he shares with us his personal journey and offers some insightful visions for our current tumultuous world.  Links to the Author’s work: Kazu Haga  Fierce Vulnerability Kinship Lab,  Chanel Miller Chanel Miller The Moon Without Stars Purchase Chanel’s books at East Wind Books and Kazu’s books at Parallax Press  SHOW TRANSCRIPT APEX Opening: Apex Express. Asian Pacific Expression. Community and cultural coverage. Music and calendar. New visions and voices. Coming to you with an Asian Pacific Islander point of view. It’s time to get on board the Apex Express. Miko Lee: Good evening. Welcome to apex express. This is your host, Miko Lee. Join us as you hop along the apex express. Tonight I speak with authors who have used their personal lives to tell their stories. They both talk and write about trauma, joy, and resilience, but in two very different and distinct ways. First up, I chat with Chanel Miller. Many folks might know of Chanel’s bestselling first book Know My Name, which expands on the powerful victim impact letter she wrote to Brock Turner, who brutally sexually assaulted her on the Stanford campus. But tonight we talk about her latest work, two delightful books for young people. And then I talk with Kazu Haga, who weaves his spiritual practice and trauma healing with a deep lineage of nonviolent social change. In his books Fierce vulnerability and Healing Resistance, he shares with us his personal journey and offers some insightful visions for our current tumultuous world. First off, listen to my conversation with Chanel Miller. Welcome, author Chanel Miller to Apex Express. Chanel Miller: Thank you so much for having me. It’s a delight to be here with you. Miko Lee: I’m really excited to talk to you, and I wanna start with my first question, which I ask all of my guests, which is, who are your people and what legacy do you carry with you? Chanel Miller: Oh, I have so many people. Today, you’re my people who continue to help guide me forward. I grew up in the Bay Area and I feel like honestly all of my books are attempts at saying thank you to the people who raised me, the English teachers in my public schools. For helping me stay aligned with myself and never letting me drift too far. And so even though I tell very different stories for different demographics, I think if you look at the root of everything that I write, it’s gratitude because they are the people who protected my voice in the first place. Miko Lee: Thank you so much. So we’re talking about your third book. Your first book was amazing. Know my name, which is really powerful memoir about surviving sexual assault at Stanford, and this incredible public reclamation of your voice. And then you move from that very personal, internal, very adult work to your second book, which was so lovely and sweet. Magnolia Woo unfolds it all, which was an illustrated book set New York about a little girl and her friend who reunite people with their lost socks. From this all the way to this young person’s book and your latest book, the Moon Without Stars, your second, YA novel is based in middle school. So talk to me a little bit about this journey from personal memoir to elementary school to middle school books. Chanel Miller: Yeah, so like you said, the first book was so internal and gutting to write. I knew I needed. Something that would help me breathe a little easier and get in touch with playfulness again. I wrote Magnolia Woo Unfolds it all. It’s perfect for kids ages seven to 12. My goal was just to enjoy the process of writing and story making. And it was confusing because I thought if I’m not, you know, during the memoir, I would be like crying while I was writing and it was just taking everything out of me. And I was like, if I’m not actively upset. Is the writing even good? Like, like, you know, does it count? And it turns out, yes, you can still create successful stories and have a good time. So I did that book for myself really. And the kid in me who always wanted to, who was always, writing stories unprompted. Like you said, it was a book about a sock detective and pursuing socks makes no sense. It’s almost impossible to return a missing sock in New York City. But I loved the idea of these. This little girl in pursuit of something, even if she doesn’t know what the outcome will be. Right. It’s just trying even if you’re not promised a reward, I love this. And for me it’s like I keep attempting to love my reality, right? Attempting to go out into the world with an exploratory lens rather than a fearful one. And so that was very healing for me. After I finished that book, I spent the next year writing this new book, the Moon Without Stars. It’s for slightly older kids, like you said in middle school. So my protagonist Luna, is 12 years old and she’s biracial like me, goes to middle school in Northern California like I did in Palo Alto. I was just reflecting on my. Upbringing, I would say, and really sitting back and letting memories come to the surface. Trying to see how much, was just unexplored. And then sitting down to, to figure out what it all meant that I remembered all of these things. Miko Lee: So how much of Luna is inspired by Chanel? Chanel Miller: A fair amount, I’d say. And it’s not always an intentional, I think fiction deals a lot with the subconscious and you end up writing about yourself on accent luna in the book. She is the campus book doctor, is what I call it. Because when kids are going through something, they’ll come to her and she’ll prescribe them a book that’ll help them for whatever phase of life they’re going through. And I know for me from a very young age, I loved reading, writing, and drawing. It’s all that I ever wanted to do and I was so mad in school that we had six different subjects and you know, the Bay Area was very tech. Centered, STEM centered. And so I felt all this pressure even through high school to take AP Science classes. In retrospect, I thought, why was I trying so hard to be good at it? Everything. This is impossible. And so for Luna, I own her gifts early. And understand that they were gifts at all. The fact that she loves to read and then she shares her gifts and she takes pride in the things that she’s passionate about. She’s not ashamed that she’s not so hot about math. Miko Lee: So the hating math part is a little Chanel inspired also. Chanel Miller: The hating math part is fully me. I’m sorry to say. Miko Lee: No worries. I think that stereotype about Asians and math is so highly overrated. I’m wondering if there was a Scott for you, a bestie that was also an outcast, if there was someone like that for you when you were growing up. Chanel Miller: Yeah, so in the book, Luna is best friends with Scott. They’ve been friends since childhood, and as Luna starts to get more attention, their relationship is threatened and it begins to dissolve. I was really interested in how, Luna obviously loves Scott as a friend and she would never. Mean to hurt him, right? It’s not inflicting intentional emotional pain, but Scott gets very hurt. I think about how sometimes when we’re growing up, we get drawn to certain crowds or paid a kind of attention and we have this longing to be desired to fit in. we sometimes make choices that we’re not very proud of, but this is a part of it, right? And so I wanted Luna to reckon with maybe some of the emotional harm she’s causing and not run away from it. But also think about like, why am I making these choices and what is important to me? We’re all kind of constantly reevaluating our value systems, trying to keep our relationships alive, like this is, starts at a very young age and I wanted her to learn some of the self gifts that maybe I didn’t give myself when I was that age. Miko Lee: So in a way, she’s a little bit of a remedy for your young self or a gift to your young self. Do you think? Chanel Miller: Oh, that’s a nice way of putting it. Yeah, I would definitely say so. I think all writing is, is remedy in some form, at least for me, but I like the, it being a gift to little Chanel. Miko Lee: It’s been compared to the classic. Are you there god, it’s me, Margaret? What is it like for you to hear that? Chanel Miller: It’s an honor, obviously. I think what’s most stunning is a lot of the themes that were contested in that book. You know, talking about bodily changes, menstruation like. A lot of that is still kind of hush hush, and I’m surprised by the things that haven’t changed , or how our society hasn’t completely evolved. I really wanted middle school so hard physically, emotionally, and. It can feel so humiliating that you’re trying to solve a lot of your issues in private, and I wanted to take the shame out of it as quickly as possible and just say, this is a universal experience. Everyone goes through these things. It’s totally okay to talk about it, even if books get banned. Find a way, find your people. Find a way to have these conversations. M

    1 hr

  8. 8 JAN

    APEX Express – 1.08.26 – Magical Realism and AAPI Short Films

    Think about the histories of your family or memories from your past. What if you recounted them with a dash of magic? What happens when we infuse our stories on film with some magical realism? Tonight’s edition of APEX Express features three filmmakers who created magical realism short films centering AAPI women. Listen to directors Cami Kwan, Dorothy Xiao, and Rachel Leyco discuss their films and experiences behind the scenes with host Isabel Li. Cami Kwan: Website | Instagram | Seed & Spark Dorothy Xiao: Website | Instagram  Rachel Leyco: Website | Instagram   Transcript 00:01 [INTRO] Isabel: You’re tuned into Apex Express on KPFA. Tonight’s edition is all about stories. Think about the histories of your family or memories from your past. Now, what if you recounted them with a dash of magic? What happens when we infuse our stories on film with some magical realism? I’m your host, Isabel Li, and today we have three very special guests, Cami Kwan, Dorothy Chow, and Rachel Leyco. All of them are AAPI filmmakers who received the Julia S. Gouw Short Film Challenge grant from the Coalition of Asian Pacifics and Entertainment and have created short films featuring AAPI stories with magical realism. My first guest of the night is Cami Kwan, a Chinese-American director specializing in stop-motion animation who directed the short film Paper Daughter.  Hi Cami, welcome to APEX Express!  Cami: Hello, thank you so much for having me. Isabel: How do you identify and what communities do you consider yourself a part of?  Cami: So I identify as a queer Asian American woman um and I am a descendant of immigrants, of Chinese immigrants. um Then the communities that I am part of, part of the queer community, part of the Los Angeles community, part of the Chinese American and Asian American community, part of the mixed race community and part of the stop-motion animation and independent artist community.  Isabel: I’m so excited to talk to you about your upcoming short film, Paper Daughter, a gothic stop-motion animated Chinese-American fairy tale about a young woman grappling with the guilt of using the identity of a deceased girl to immigrate to the US via Angel Island in 1926, which is such a fascinating concept. Can you tell our listeners a little bit about how you came up with this story and the historical specificity behind it?  Cami: Absolutely, yeah. So like I mentioned, I’m the child of immigrants, descendants of immigrants rather. So my great grandparents immigrated to the US from China. My great grandfather came over in 1916 and my great grandma came over in 1926. And so I’ve always grown up knowing the story of Angel Island and knowing the story about the paper sons and paper daughters who had to find any way into the United States that they could. And so they were forced to, you know, take on the identities of other people. And those stories have always stuck with me, you know, like it’s very personal. Angel Island means a lot to me and my family. And just the extreme measures that people have always had to take just for the chance at a better life have always been really meaningful to learn about. just the like, I’ll use romances in like the art movement, like romantic. It’s very romantic and kind of fairy tale-ish, the idea of having to take on a new identity and pretend to be somebody that you’re not. And often those identities would be people who had passed away, and then those families had then sold those identities or given those identities to new people. And so it’s so interesting the idea of being like the last person to know somebody so deeply, but you’ll never get to meet them and you’ll never be able to thank them or repay what they sacrificed for your future. And that’s kind of how I feel as a descendant of immigrants. The sacrifice that my family made for me was made so long ago that there’s no way for me to ever pay it back. And I didn’t really get a say in whether I received that sacrifice or not. And I think a lot of descendants of immigrants kind of have to struggle with this. What does it mean for us to be given this new chance at the cost of somebody who came before us? And so that’s all of that kind of rolled up into this 14-minute film. Isabel: You describe your film as being in a gothic style? Can you describe what this looks like and why gothic?  Cami: The subject matter is just so naturally gothic. It’s dealing a lot with death and a lot with guilt and those big capital R romantic subjects and stuff. My day job, my day-to-day job is working in stop-motion animation directing mostly like children’s series and mostly toy related stuff. And so I spent so much of my time in the happy brighter like birthday party storyline kind of like space. But what really made me want to be a filmmaker in the first place were all these like heavier themes, these bigger themes, films by Guillermo del Toro and like Tim Burton and Henry Selig and Hayao Miyazaki and all of those kind of have this like gothic edge to them. And so that’s like a story that I’ve been a type of story I’ve been wanting to tell for about a decade now.  Isabel: Stylistically, how does this show up in your film? So I imagine darker colors or do you have a visual like preview for us?  Cami: it is a little bit in the darker color space, but it’s still very colorful despite all that. It’s moody more so than dark, I would say. um We have a lot of like light and dark themes, a lot of like shadow. stuff and um a lot of magical realism, which is where that fairy tale aspect kind of comes in, because you’re dealing with things that are so abstract, like guilt and sacrifice and wearing the identity of somebody else, that there’s no literal way to convey that. Well, there are literal ways to convey that, but none of those literal ways I feel fully convey the emotional weight of everything. And so we’ve gone in this very magical realism space where people are tearing information out of these booklets that contain information about the person they’re supposed to be and creating these paper masks out of them. And so yeah, there’s this whole like magical aspect that tends to be kind of darker. There’s imagery of just like being consumed by the identity that you’re just supposed to temporarily wear. And there’s a lot of like, yeah, there’s a lot of darkness in those themes, I think.  Isabel: Wow, that’s so interesting. I’d love to learn more about stop motion. What does stop motion make possible that isn’t as easily accomplished through other forms of filmmaking? Cami: Yeah, I think the reason why I’m drawn to stop motion, what I stop motion makes possible is like a universality of just like a human experience because with other kinds of animation and other kinds of filmmaking, like there is kind of like an opacity to like how it’s made. There’s this this veneer, this magic to it, and there’s that magic to stop motion too. But the difference between all of those and stop motion is made out of like everyday materials. It’s made out of fabric. using paper. We’re using clay. We’re using materials that people have encountered in their day-to-day lives. And like, that’s the one thing that we are all guaranteed to have in common is that we live in a material world and we encounter these textures and materials around us. so by like taking such a specific story and trying to convey such universal themes, it really like behooves us to be using like um a medium that is as universal as stop motion is. So I think that’s like the big thing that stop motion unlocks for us. Plus also story-wise, like it’s very paper centered, paper daughter, they’re tearing paper strips, they’re making paper masks. So like physically using these paper textures adds a lot to our world. um And I think working in stop motion gives you a degree of control that live action doesn’t give you because we’re creating. all of our characters, all of our sets by hand, which gives us so much of a say over what they look like and what they convey based on how they’re constructed and stuff. And that’s just a degree of communication that nothing else brings.  Isabel: I love that this is a magical realism film and you mentioned Guillermo del Toro. I know that in your campaign trailer, you featured Pan’s Labyrinth, which is my all-time favorite movie.  Cami: Me too! Isabel: Yeah! How exactly did you come up with this specific blend of history and fantasy for your film?  Cami: I think that it’s almost a natural human instinct to kind of have history and fantasy. Like, that’s all that histories are, just stories told to us. And it’s just being less literal about it and really leaning into the metaphors that we might use to convey the emotional realities of those histories, right? And so I feel like Del Toro does that a lot with his work. And Miyazaki as well does a lot of that with his work. So much of it deals with unpacking like World War II and things like that. And that’s something that I’ve always just personally been drawn to. Even as a kid, my dream jobs were archaeologist or animator. And so here I kind of get to like do a little bit of both of those, know, like using the magic of animation to make history feel a lot more present and tangible and like emotionally relevant, which is It’s really quite poetic to be able to be telling this story right now because it’s going to mark the 100 year anniversary of my great grandmother’s immigration to the US. I think we are due for an examination of immigration in our country. And I’m very interested to see how people respond to the questions that this raises of how different is the immigrant experience 100 years later. Have we gotten better? Have we gotten worse? Like I would posit it’s perhaps worse now than it was then, but I’m really hoping to like, yeah, bring that reality into a more approachable space. And

    1 hr
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About

Apex Express is a proud collective member of AACRE, Asian Americans for Civil Rights and Equality. AACRE focuses on long-term movement building, capacity infrastructure, and leadership support for Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders committed to social justice.

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  • Creator
    KPFA
  • Years Active
    2015 - 2026
  • Episodes
    25
  • Rating
    Clean
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    © 2026KPFA 312700
  • Show Website
    KPFA - APEX Express

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