Dam Internet, You Scary!

Patrick Cloud, Tahir Moore

0.0 (0)
COMEDY
EVERY TWO WEEKS

THE BOYS ARE BACK!! FROM THE ALL DEF PODCAST: "THE INTERNET IS UNDEFEATED" COMES A NEW SPINOFF SHOW CALLED "DAM INTERNET, YOU SCARY!!"Hosts Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud break down the hilarious yet horrifying things we see on the internet every day!! Then close the curtains and get into some creepy conspiracies!!

2 DAYS AGO

Pat LIKES THE OCEAN!!

BlueChew 🔵🍆 Boost your confidence where it counts. Get your first month FREE – just pay $5 shipping with promo code DIYS at https://www.BlueChew.com Cash App 💵📲 The safest way to send, spend & save money. Download Cash App today & use our exclusive code SECURE10 for a $10 bonus after you send your first $5! https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/crftch8p #CashAppPod As a Cash App partner, I may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Join our Patreon now!! https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary Welcome back to another episode of Dam Internet, You Scary! with Tahir Moore & Patrick Cloud. Today we dive into everything from the fear of oceans 🌊 to astronauts peeing in space 🚀, wild inventions, classic cars 🚗, and some of the funniest “what if” scenarios you’ll ever hear. 🔥 In This Episode: Are oceans scarier than Chicago at night? 🌃 The struggle of dieting vs. Doritos temptation 🧀 Sex, naps & fitness priorities 😅 Hypotheticals: What if grass was lotion? 💧 Astronaut pee devices & living in space 🤯 Wild story: Man walking across the world 🌍 BMWs, Deloreans & dream rides 🚗 📣 Call to Action 👉 Don’t forget to LIKE 👍🏽, COMMENT 💬 your wildest hypothetical, and SUBSCRIBE 🔔 for more episodes every week. 🎥 Watch Tahir’s comedy special "Aging Out" on YouTube, Apple TV & Prime! 🎤 Catch Tahir on tour – San Diego, Sacramento & more! 📺 Check out Patrick’s show We Trippin on YouTube/ and Planet Sandwich on Twitch, live every Wednesday 00:00 – Intro & Ocean Fears 🌊 03:20 – Chicago, NYC & LA Stereotypes 🏙️ 07:15 – Weight Loss Struggles & Food Temptations 🍗 13:40 – Discipline, Doritos & Dieting 🤣 18:05 – Sex, Fitness & Getting Older 💪🏽 25:00 – Wild Hypothetical Questions (Grass, Lotion & Napkins?!) 🤯 31:00 – If Money Didn’t Exist 💵 38:10 – Disrespect in the Midwest ✋🏽 45:00 – DUIs & Countries That Ban You 🚫✈️ 50:30 – Ad Read: BlueChew 🔵🍆 55:10 – Astronaut Pee Problems & Space Life 🚀 01:03:00 – Surviving a Month in Space 🌌 01:10:30 – Walking Across the World 🌍 01:17:30 – Content Creators Changing Lives 🎥 01:23:40 – Ad Read: Cash App 💵📲 01:29:00 – Classic Cars, BMWs & Dream Rides 🚗 01:42:00 – Wrapping Up: Tours, Shows & Merch 🎤👕.

1h 15m
11 SEPT

Don’t Touch the Spaghetti: Floor-Food Rules, Streamer Drama & Bear vs. Wolf | DIYS

🟦 BlueChew First month free (pay $5 shipping) with code DIYS at checkout: https://www.bluechew.com. See site for details and safety info. 🟩 BetterHelp ( Get 10% off your first month at https://www.betterhelp.com/DIYS. Flexible, fully online therapy with licensed professionals. If you dropped it… would you still eat it? Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud kick off with the ultimate floor-food debate, spin it into a “Don’t Touch the Spaghetti” improv bit that escalates hilariously, then dive into streamer controversies, IRL etiquette, security vs. clout, and a wild bear-vs-wolf standoff. Plus: two sponsor offers inside. Highlights: five-second-rule logic, Gordon Ramsay hypotheticals, Monica Lewinsky/media culture, school safety in the social-media era, stream-sniping, when security should step in, “realest” rappers, Chicago myths vs. reality, and an animal-kingdom face-off. New DIYS every week—pull up! • 👉 Subscribe for new episodes + turn on notifications 🔔 • 💬 Comment: What food (if any) would you still eat after it hits the floor? • 📺 Catch Planet Sandwich live, Wednesdays @ 6 PM PT • 📺 Watch Tahir's special "Aging Out" • 📺 Catch "Churchy" and "The Hospital" on BET/BET+ • 📤 Share this episode with a friend who loves chaotic hypotheticals Join our Patreon now!! / daminternetyouscary 00:00 – Cold Open: Trash juice & floor-food rules 01:24 – The “Don’t Touch the Spaghetti” game setup 03:09 – Uber driver, repast spaghetti & ridiculous escalation 05:10 – Are we doing this right now? How the bit works 06:01 – What would you eat out of the trash (top layer only)? 07:28 – Fruit vs. veggies: rinse, slice, or pass 10:11 – Reality-show kitchen disaster: serving… trash spaghetti? 11:26 – “Yes, and”: building the world of the bit 12:57 – Accidentally killing Gordon Ramsay?! Career pivot talk 15:22 – Monica Lewinsky, presidents & power + media culture 20:08 – AD: BlueChew (Offer) 21:31 – Back to the dress, late-90s context, school drills 25:09 – WorldStar to TikTok: why fights aren’t worth it 27:30 – Streamer incident breakdown & consequences 31:00 – Streaming pitfalls: who’s around you matters 35:00 – IRL streaming, stream-sniping & safety 36:02 – AD: BetterHelp (Offer) 38:59 – Security vs. clout: when to let pros handle it 40:09 – DaBaby incidents & “realest rapper” debate 42:16 – King Von discussion & Chicago realities 44:13 – Chicago is beautiful (travel notes & downtown rule) 47:00 – 6'8" car-review friend & insane life stories 49:20 – Animal Planet logic: size really matters 51:21 – Bear vs. massive wolf: hour-long standoff 52:23 – Plugs: tours, projects & Planet Sandwich live 52:57 – Outro: Thanks, Scary Squad!

53 min
4 SEPT

The Meth Monks?! | DIYS

👉 Download PrizePicks: Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DIYS and use code DIYS and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! 👉 Try Factor Meals: Go to factormeals.com/DIYS50off and use code DIYS50off for 50% off your first box + free breakfast for a year! Dam Internet, You Scary! hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the disturbing but interesting stories on the internet! On this episode of Dam Internet, You Scary! Patrick Cloud & Tahir Moore dive deep into content creation, streaming vs rap, the wild story of meth-addicted monks, and Shaq’s jaw-dropping business empire. From childhood toys to hotel gyms and positive affirmations, the conversation is as hilarious as it is real. 00:00 – Turning hobbies into content pressure 02:15 – Who’s more influential: rappers or streamers? 05:30 – Comedians and the rise of streaming 09:50 – Twitch, music, and new creator opportunities 11:40 – AD: PrizePicks Promo 13:10 – Meth monks in Thailand?! 16:30 – Shaq’s wild business empire & investments 20:40 – Shaq’s $27M private jet 25:30 – Bill Gates’ Porsche loophole 28:10 – Childhood toys, games & music memories 33:40 – Chasing perfection vs. just creating 38:20 – Losing the fun in content creation 41:00 – Audience pressure & cancel fears 44:40 – Kai Cenat & authenticity in streaming 46:00 – AD: Factor Meals Promo 48:10 – Tahir’s Chicago food adventures 52:20 – Hotel gyms & rooftop gardens 57:00 – Positive affirmations & discipline 59:20 – Churchy season news & acting updates 01:01:40 – Outro & Twitch plug 💬 Comment below: Do you think streamers have replaced rappers as the new stars? 📺 Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT & SUBSCRIBE to help us hit 100K subscribers! Follow us everywhere: Instagram/TikTok: @DamInternetYouScary Hosts: @patrickcloudchannel @tahirmoore Producer: @hippiegoals Join our Patreon now!! https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

1h 2m
28 AUG

Robot Moms and Purple Aliens on DIYS with Dion Lack

🔥 Sponsored by BetterHelp – Get 10% off your first month of therapy: betterhelp.com/diys 💰 Sponsored by PrizePicks – Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DIYS and use code DIYS and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! 💳 Sponsored by CashApp – Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/crftch8p #CashAppPod As a Cash App partner, I may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Another wild episode of Dam Internet, You Scary! with hosts Tahir Moore & Patrick Cloud featuring guest Dion Lack. This week we discuss: Could Will Smith really have been Neo in The Matrix? Why the I Am Legend dog scene broke us 😭 Pregnant robots in China 👶🤖 A crocodile’s virgin birth 🐊 No-melt ice cream 🍦 Cartoon roommates from hell 🏠 And why aliens might actually be PURPLE 👽 🔔 Hit the bell so you never miss an episode. 🎤 Follow the hosts: @PatrickCloudChannel @tahirmoore Guest: @LacktoastEnt https://www.instagram.com/dionlack Producer: @HippieGoals 🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts & Spotify Join our Patreon now!! https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary 0:00 – Don’t Drop the Spaghetti Game 1:24 – Welcome Back 3:30 – Will Smith Almost Starred in The Matrix 7:00 – Hiking Therapy & BetterHelp Ad 11:34 – Patrick Cloud’s Birthday Surprise 13:00 – Will Smith’s Best Emotional Scenes 20:01 – Mannequins & I Am Legend Dog Debate 27:00 – Diseases & Sickle Cell Myths 30:10 – Beaver Booty Vanilla?! 31:13 – Worst Cartoon Roommates 34:09 – Funniest Animals If They Could Talk 37:34 – PrizePicks Ad (Sports Betting) 39:34 – Wild “Would You Rather?” Scenarios 42:31 – Pregnant Robots in China 45:30 – Crocodile Virgin Birth Discovery 50:20 – Scientists Create No-Melt Ice Cream 53:41 – Funnel Cakes vs Pancakes 56:00 – CashApp Ad (Promo Code DIYs) 59:00 – The Greater Glider Animal Facts 1:01:15 – WWII POW Mistaken as “Crazy” 1:04:30 – Purple Aliens Could Be Real? 1:07:00 – Space Isn’t Always Cold?! 1:09:20 – Solar Winds & Final Thoughts 1:09:45 – Upcoming Shows & Comedy Specials 1:11:07 – Closing

1h 11m
23 AUG

You Can't UNSEE this! on DIYS w/Big Irish Jay

Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud sit down with Big Irish Jay for a wild ride through zombie squirrels (squirrel fibromatosis), cocaine-laced shrimp, an FDA warning on radioactive shrimp, and the long-running Denver International Airport conspiracy—plus Alaska Triangle vanishings and the first attempted homicide in Antarctica. It’s equal parts creepy, hilarious, and “why is this happening?” Tap in, laugh with us, and drop your favorite conspiracy in the comments 🧪🐿️🛫 👍 If you laughed, hit Like 🔔 Subscribe for weekly weirdness S/O to our Sponsors Blue Chew https://www.bluechew.com/diys Kikoff https://getkikoff.com/DIYS Mando get 20% off + free shipping with promo code: DIYS at https://www.shopmando.com 00:00 — Cold open & mic chaos 00:28 — Intro: Dam Internet, You Scary! + guest Big Irish Jay 01:38 — Losing weight on the road (energy, exploring cities) 02:43 — 185 lbs down & sweating on stage no more 03:47 — Icebreaker: If you were a Transformer… what everyday object? 05:19 — Drone, air fryer, phone or…? (the debate spirals) 07:32 — Zombie apocalypse: who’s the most useless celebrity? 😬 18:58 — Sponsor: Deodorant read that goes off the rails 21:21 — Travel, AC wars & “The List” plug 23:05 — Topic kick-off: “Zombie squirrels” sighted 23:25 — Why they look like that (fibromatosis, pox family) 26:23 — Rabbits with “horns” (Shope papilloma) & why you shouldn’t touch wildlife 27:20 — Hood tours in real neighborhoods… bad idea 29:26 — Shrimp test positive for cocaine (UK freshwater study) 33:14 — Sponsor: Credit builder (Kikoff) 35:27 — FDA flags radioactive shrimp recall (what to avoid) 39:21 — Denver Airport conspiracies: blue horse, murals, gargoyles 44:55 — Sponsor: BlueChew—legendary ad read 47:29 — “Damn That’s Creepy”: Alaska Triangle disappearances 50:08 — Volcano/alien base tales & USOs from the water 51:08 — Viral athlete name controversy (the “ultimate pass” hats) 55:10 — Antarctica’s first attempted homicide… over book spoilers 01:01:06 — Big Irish Jay tour dates (Rapid City, Tucson, Manteca) 01:01:55 — Show plugs: BET+ “Churchy” 01:02:40 — Wrap up Join our Patreon now!! https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

1h 3m
15 AUG

Eggs, Beavers & Beefs on DIYS

Dam Internet, You Scary! hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the disturbing but interesting stories on the internet! This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Summer nostalgia fades, animal parts get weird, and cinnamon shocks us all. In this hilarious Dam Internet, You Scary! episode, we debate the BEST and WORST seasons, try to survive an “animal body part” challenge, get grossed out by fertilized eggs, and salute beavers who saved $1.2 million. We also dive into: 🐿 Carnivorous squirrels?! 🥩 Exotic meats we’d try (or avoid) 🌿 Cinnamon’s surprising origin 🐚 Soft-shell crabs—disturbing or delicious? Plus, find out which exotic dish we’d serve our moms and which one we’d rather cook ourselves. 📺 Watch more episodes on Tubi! 🎧 Subscribe for more wild stories, bizarre facts, and Internet chaos. #DamInternetYouScary #ComedyPodcast #WeirdFacts #Animals #ExoticFood S/O to our sponsors BetterHelp https://www.betterhelp.com/diys Kikoff getkikoff.com/diys 00:00 – Summer doesn’t hit the same 00:42 – Best & worst seasons debate 01:03 – “Static Sporadic” tongue twister 02:14 – Jill Scott theme song moment 04:33 – August birthdays & famous Leos 05:26 – Jason Momoa’s surprising best role 07:01 – Leo traits: stubborn or frugal? 07:23 – Which animal part would you want? 10:03 – Brisket cravings & snack talk 11:49 – Fertilized eggs… in grocery stores?! 13:18 – Could you cook a chick by accident? 15:58 – Caviar bumps & Wagyu beef hype 22:37 – Soft-shell crabs = molting nightmares 25:43 – One’s Gotta Go: eyebrows, teeth, hair, nails 27:45 – Building a 4,000-year-old style house 33:20 – Beavers save $1.2 million 37:32 – Cinnamon comes from tree bark?! 44:15 – Carnivorous California squirrels 50:34 – Cook, Eat, Serve challenge: raccoon, shark, iguana 59:44 – Exotic meats we’d try 01:01:07 – Camel hump & other weird eats 01:01:27 – Closing & upcoming tour dates Join our Patreon now!! https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

1h 2m
8 AUG

Scientists Still Don’t Know What This Thing Is... and That’s Terrifying. on DIYS

Sponsors Blue Chew https://www.bluechew.com promo code DIYS Factor https://www.factormeals.com/diys50off Would YOU trade a live alligator for a beer? One Florida man did—because of course he did. 🐊🍺 In this outrageous episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir and Patrick cover: Unhinged Florida Man headlines that will break your brain 😵 A mysterious glowing orb found deep in the ocean 🌊 The allegedly cursed town of Dudleytown, CT 👻 Pee breaks that last forever and public poop confessions 💩 The true drama behind Adidas vs. Puma 👟 What they’d be doing in witness protection (spoiler: power-washing pirate porn star?) You came for the chaos—and we delivered. 👇 SOUND OFF IN THE COMMENTS: What would YOUR fake name be in witness protection? 00:00 - Blueberries Ain’t Got No Flavor?! 🍓 01:15 - Why We’re Canceling the Ice Cream Truck Song 🚫 02:00 - Aging Hits Different: Big Fonts & Bigger Naps 03:30 - Public Poop Confessions & Long Pee Struggles 💀 09:15 - Why Drinking Water Makes You Pee Like Crazy 12:00 - Florida Man Mad Libs Begin! 🧂 14:30 - What?! Down His Pants at Walmart?! 16:30 - Robbery at Chinese Restaurant 😳 18:40 - Florida Man Blames WHAT? for Driving into Ditch 20:00 - Random Weapon Attack?! 22:00 - Guess in the comments?! (For Real) 24:30 - Bluetooth Ad - Wild Taglines & Bricked Up Lies 26:15 - Creepy Conspiracy: Curse of Dudleytown 👻 30:00 - A Glowing Orb Found Deep in the Ocean 🌊 33:45 - Antarctica’s Creepy New Sea Creatures 🧊 36:00 - All Pizza Chains Use the SAME Cheese?! 🧀 39:00 - Adidas vs Puma: A Family Betrayal Story 👟 44:00 - Witness Protection Game: Fake Jobs & Names 48:00 - Power Washers, Pirates, and Paula Darlene 56:00 - Legally a Menace to Society?! 🤯 59:00 - Wrapping Up: Upcoming Tours + Scary Squad Shoutout — ✅ Subscribe to join the Scary Squad! New episodes every week with more chaos, conspiracies, and comedy. 🎙️ Join the Patreon for exclusive access: https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary #DIYS #FloridaMan #Conspiracy #PeeBreaks #CursedTowns #PatrickCloud #TahirMoore #PodcastComedy

1h 3m
31 JUL

Venmo the Government?! South Park’s Deal & 65K Texts Arrest on DIYS

Dam Internet, You Scary! hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the disturbing but interesting stories on the internet! This episode is sponsored by Better Help 🎧 Join our Patreon now!! https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary Ghosts, cryptids, stalker texts, and a state telling kids to come to school sick—this episode is chaos in the best way. We hit the Crescent Hotel in Arkansas (America’s “most haunted” spot), the Fouke Monster that inspired The Legend of Boggy Creek, a 65,000-text stalker story that ends in a bathtub, Tennessee’s wild attendance crackdown, plus “Venmo the national debt?!” and South Park’s mega deal. We’re gunning for 100,000 subscribers—we’re at 85K. If you laughed, learned, or yelled at your screen, smash Subscribe and share this with one friend who loves DIYS. Topics this week Haunted Crescent Hotel lore, fake “doctor” cures, ghost sightings Fouke Monster (Arkansas cryptid) & Boggy Creek Viral stalker case: 65,000 texts after one date Tennessee policy pushing sick kids to school Venmo/PayPal to “reduce the national debt” (for real) South Park’s massive deal + streaming overload Plus: aliens, pizza vs. ice cream for first contact, and a game Support & links 🧠 Sponsor: BetterHelp — Use our link for 10% off: https://www.betterhelp.com/diys 🎟️ Tour dates: https://www.kevonstage.com/shows 🛒 Merch: https://dam-internet-you-scary-store.creator-spring.com/ Help us hit 100K: Comment your favorite moment + turn on notifications. New DIYS every week! 00:00 – Cold Open: August birthdays, Tacoma shoutouts & that grilled-cheese print ad. 01:13 – Scary Squad & Patreon birthdays: “Get your dates in!” 02:10 – Back in studio + Freestyle opener (new format test). 04:14 – Bellflower show recap & Black Ron’s 26-minute freestyle (wild). 05:27 – YouTube Top Fans / XP & live chat roll call. 06:10 – Alien Asylum Q: What food explains human culture? (bologna vs. ice cream vs. pizza/Dave’s/Wingstop). 18:38 – Road-Trip / Carpool / Stranded game (All Def crew picks). 20:48 – BetterHelp ad (personal therapy story & offer). 23:45 – Damn That’s Creepy: Ghosts of the Crescent Hotel (fake cures, bones found, nurse with gurney). 34:33 – Arkansas Cryptid: Fouke Monster & Boggy Creek tie-in. 41:01 – 65,000 texts after ONE date + caught bathing at his place. 45:29 – Tennessee: Doctor’s notes don’t count? Sick kids → court threats. 50:22 – “Venmo the National Debt?” (Treasury via PayPal/Venmo). 53:46 – South Park’s massive deal & why streaming feels overwhelming. 1:03:18 – Plugs & upcoming dates (Ball Brothers tour, EU dates, Little Rock). #diys #DamnInternetYouScary #DIYS #CrescentHotel #FoukeMonster #BoggyCreek #TrueWeird #StalkerStory #SouthPark #Tennessee

1h 4m

Patrick Cloud

Host
Tahir Moore

Host

THE BOYS ARE BACK!! FROM THE ALL DEF PODCAST: "THE INTERNET IS UNDEFEATED" COMES A NEW SPINOFF SHOW CALLED "DAM INTERNET, YOU SCARY!!"Hosts Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud break down the hilarious yet horrifying things we see on the internet every day!! Then close the curtains and get into some creepy conspiracies!!

Creator

Patrick Cloud, Tahir Moore
Years Active

2019 - 2025
Episodes

320
Rating

Explicit
Copyright

© Dam Internet, You Scary!
Show Website

Dam Internet, You Scary!

Improv

Improv

Updated weekly
Stand-Up Comedy

Stand-Up Comedy

Updated weekly
Improv

Improv

Every two weeks
Comedy

Comedy

Updated weekly
Comedy

Comedy

Updated weekly
Comedy

Comedy

Updated weekly
Kids & Family

Kids & Family

Updated weekly