Complex Sex

Mallorie Sorce

Complex Sex is a podcast dedicated to exploring the multifaceted world of sex, marriage, relationships, and therapy. Hosted by Dr. Mallorie Sorce, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist (EFT), each episode delves into intimate topics with empathy and expertise. As the owner of Healing Hearts Counseling in Murray, Utah, Dr. Sorce brings over seven years of experience in helping couples and individuals strengthen their relationships.   In Complex Sex, listeners can expect insightful discussions on: • Navigating sexual health and intimacy  • Enhancing marital and relationship dynamics  • Understanding therapeutic approaches to common challenges  • Exploring diverse perspectives from guest experts, including sex coaches and therapists Join Dr. Sorce and her guests as they unravel the complexities of human connection, offering practical advice and heartfelt conversations to enrich your personal journey.

  1. 3 DAYS AGO

    Pornography in Context - Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, Expression (SOGIE), and Diversity Construction of Pornography - Part 2

    Send a text Episode 14: Porn, Queerness & Representation — How LGBTQ+ Desire Is Framed, Fetishized, or Freed Season 1 — Pornography in Context What stories does porn tell about queer identity? Who gets represented, who gets fetishized, and who gets erased? And how are LGBTQ+ creators rewriting the erotic scripts that mainstream porn has repeated for decades? In this powerful continuation of the SOGI series, Dr. Mallorie Sorce digs into how pornography shapes — and distorts — our understanding of sexual orientation, gender identity, and queer expression. Building on Part 1’s exploration of gendered power dynamics and the male gaze, this episode turns toward queer porn, gay male representation, racialized tropes, body image pressures, BDSM dynamics, and ethical porn. This is not just about who appears on screen — it’s about the deeper messages porn sends about desirability, power, agency, and possibility. In this episode, you’ll learn: How queer porn acts as art, activism, and a radical alternative to heteronormative scriptsWhy ethical queer studios center consent, real pleasure, fluid gender roles, and performer autonomyThe difference between queer porn featuring LGBTQ+ bodies vs. queer porn made by queer communitiesHow gay male porn often replicates narrow beauty standards and patriarchal normsWhy certain bodies (white, muscular, cis, young) are hyper-visible while others are erasedHow algorithmic platforms elevate hegemonic porn and bury diverse creatorsThe emotional and identity-forming power of seeing yourself represented eroticallyNettersexuality — the concept that online porn allows fluid exploration beyond fixed labelsWhy many women watch gay male porn to escape the male gaze and reclaim their own desireThe long history of queer visibility through underground erotica, diaries, legal records, and community archivesHow racialized tropes sexualize, devalue, or stereotype Black, Asian, and Latina performersWhy Asian women are trapped between the “Lotus Blossom” and “Dragon Lady” archetypesHow BDSM scenes replicate colonial power structures and what ethical kink really looks likeThe impact of porn on body image — especially among LGBTQ+ youth and marginalized bodiesWhat ethical porn is — and how it can shift culture through consent, fair pay, safety, and diverse storytelling Perfect for listeners who: Identify as LGBTQ+ or are exploring their identityWant to understand the overlap between porn, race, gender, and representationAre curious about ethical porn, queer creators, and inclusive sexual mediaHave felt erased, fetishized, or underrepresented in mainstream erotic contentWant to untangle shame, desire, and identity with nuance and compassionWork in mental health, sex therapy, or sexual educationWant a more expansive understanding of desire and erotic freedom Mallorie offers research, social critique, queer theory, and heartfelt guidance to help listeners see porn through a new lens: Support the show Follow Dr. Mallorie Sorce: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmalloriesorce LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mallorie-sorce-8729a1122 Learn more at: https://www.healingheartscounseling.co

    54 min
  2. 16 FEB

    Pornography in Context - Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, Expression (SOGIE), and Diversity Construction of Pornography - Part 1

    Send a text Episode 13: How Porn Constructs Gender — Power, Stereotypes & the Scripts We Don’t Realize We’ve Learned Season 1 — Pornography in Context What if porn isn’t just reflecting gender roles — but actively teaching them? What if the way bodies, power, pleasure, and desire are portrayed is shaping how we see ourselves and each other long before we realize it? In this expansive, thought-provoking episode of Complex Sex, Dr. Mallorie Sorce breaks down how mainstream pornography constructs, reinforces, and sometimes subverts gender. From the male gaze to BDSM misrepresentations to racialized sexual stereotypes, Mallorie explores the cultural forces embedded in porn — and how they seep into sexual identity, self-image, and relationship expectations. This episode is the first of a two-part deep dive into how pornography constructs and reflects gender, sexual orientation, and identity. Part 1 focuses on gender; Part 2 will move into queer identity, orientation, and representation. In this episode, you’ll learn: How pornography acts as a cultural text, not just entertainmentWhy porn mirrors and amplifies gender norms, beauty standards, and power structuresHow the male gaze shapes what is seen, valued, eroticized, or erasedWhy mainstream porn centers male pleasure and positions women as objects or recipientsHow female-targeted porn softens the script but still reinforces gendered expectationsWhy dominance and submission are often portrayed as “natural” gender rolesHow BDSM is misrepresented in mainstream porn (and why real BDSM is built on negotiation, trust, and consent)The four major sexual archetypes assigned to women: virgin, agent, slut, and loser — and how race shapes their portrayalWhy Asian women are often coded as submissive virgins, and Black women as hypersexual “agents”How these stereotypes reinforce racist and patriarchal narrativesWhy mainstream porn highlights female bodies while minimizing male faces — keeping men as “proxies” for the viewerHow viewer preferences (like internal ejaculation over facial ejaculation) reveal a desire for intimacy that porn rarely portraysWhy porn sells fantasy, not authenticity — and why that disconnect mattersThe rise of ethical, feminist, and queer porn, and how these creators challenge traditional porn scriptsHow awareness helps viewers differentiate genuine desire from conditioned arousal Perfect for listeners who want to understand: How gender roles in porn shape real-life expectationsWhy women and marginalized bodies are stereotyped in erotic mediaThe psychology of desire vs. the social construction of desireHow representation affects identity, shame, confidence, and belongingThe difference between porn fantasy and real, consensual sexual dynamicsHow to become a more conscious, empowered, and discerning consumer of adult media Mallorie’s message is clear and liberating: Gendered scripts in porn are learned — not natural. They can be questioned, unlearned, and rew Support the show Follow Dr. Mallorie Sorce: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmalloriesorce LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mallorie-sorce-8729a1122 Learn more at: https://www.healingheartscounseling.co

    43 min
  3. 9 FEB

    Pornography in Context - Pornography and Relationships - Part 2

    Send a text Episode 12: Porn & Relationships (Part 2) — LGBTQ+ Dynamics, Solo vs Shared Use, Betrayal, and How Couples Heal Season 1 — Pornography in Context Why does porn strengthen some relationships and fracture others? How do solo vs. shared use, secrecy, LGBTQ+ identity, and emotional safety shape a couple’s experience with pornography? And what actually helps couples repair when porn becomes a source of hurt? In this expansive and deeply compassionate continuation of the series, Dr. Mallorie Sorce takes you beyond the heterosexual scripts that dominate porn research and explores how pornography shows up across diverse relationships. From LGBTQ+ identity and erotic affirmation to secrecy, trust ruptures, solo use, shared use, and full relational repair, Mallorie unpacks the complex emotional meaning behind pornography in romantic partnerships. This episode blends personal experience, research, clinical wisdom, and real-life examples to help listeners understand why porn can be a bridge—or a wedge—and what couples can do when it becomes a point of conflict. In this episode, you’ll learn: How LGBTQ+ partners use porn for identity, affirmation, and explorationWhy porn can be empowering, confusing, or identity-shaping depending on contextThe emotional differences between solo vs shared porn useWhy secrecy—not porn—is one of the strongest predictors of relationship distressHow hidden porn use becomes an attachment injury and why it feels like betrayalWhy female partners often experience secrecy with porn as deep emotional abandonmentHow male and female solo use reflect different motivations and emotional landscapesHow porn can both erode and enhance intimacy depending on communication and safetyWhy acceptance (not total agreement) is the most powerful predictor of relational stabilityThe role of sexual scripts in shaping desire, expectations, and insecuritiesHow porn impacts emerging adult relationships and why this generation is struggling mostWhy transparency, values-based boundaries, and emotional responsiveness matter more than rulesWhat healing actually looks like after secrecy, betrayal, or ruptureHow evidence-based therapy models—CBT, ACT, IBCT, Sex Therapy, and EFT—help couples reconnectWhy porn isn’t the real issue—disconnection is Perfect for listeners who: Feel hurt, confused, or anxious about a partner’s porn useWant to understand solo vs shared use with nuance, not judgmentAre LGBTQ+ individuals navigating erotic identity and representationAre healing from secrecy, betrayal, or emotional distanceWant to rebuild intimacy and trust after a ruptureAre looking for science-backed, shame-free guidanceWant practical tools for talking about porn in a safe, grounded way Mallorie offers clarity, compassion, and a deeply human perspective: Porn isn’t inherently good or bad—it’s meaningful. And when couples learn to talk about that meaning, connection becomes possible again. Up next: How Support the show Follow Dr. Mallorie Sorce: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmalloriesorce LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mallorie-sorce-8729a1122 Learn more at: https://www.healingheartscounseling.co

    43 min
  4. 2 FEB

    Pornography in Context - Pornography and Relationships - Part 1

    Send a text Episode 11: Porn & Relationships (Part 1) — Discrepancy, Secrecy & the Emotional Meaning Beneath the Conflict Season 1 — Pornography in Context Why does porn create massive conflict in some relationships but not in others? Why do secrecy, mismatch, and misunderstanding cause more harm than the porn itself? And how do gender, attachment, and sexual scripts shape the meaning partners assign to porn? In this deeply vulnerable and research-rich episode of Complex Sex, Dr. Mallorie Sorce begins a two-part series on pornography and romantic relationships. Drawing on personal experience, evidence-based research, and real-life couple dynamics, she unpacks how porn becomes a symbol of much deeper emotional issues—trust, security, desire, identity, and unmet needs. This episode explores why porn is rarely “just porn” inside a relationship and why the emotional stories underneath matter far more than the behavior on the screen. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why discrepancies in porn use—not the porn itself—predict lower relationship satisfactionHow secrecy creates attachment ruptures, even if the behavior wasn’t meant to be deceptiveWhy partners interpret the same porn use through completely different emotional lensesHow meaning-making shapes reactions: rejection vs. routine, rupture vs. releaseWhy porn becomes a lightning rod for fears around desirability, worthiness, and emotional closenessHow male and female socialization creates different expectations, pressures, and insecuritiesHow porn scripts (performance, novelty, detachment) clash with relational needs (attunement, responsiveness, emotional safety)Why women often experience porn as relational—and men experience it as personalHow shared porn use can create connection, communication, and noveltyWhy acceptance—not agreement—is the biggest predictor of relational outcomesHow attachment theory explains triggers, betrayal feelings, and emotional distanceHow sexual scripts shape desire, pressure, fantasy, body image, and sexual expectationsWhy emerging adults are struggling most—and how cultural contradictions intensify confusionWhy transparency, curiosity, and shared values are more important than any rule about porn Perfect for listeners who: Feel hurt, insecure, confused, or anxious about a partner’s porn useHave fought about porn but don’t understand why the conflict feels so bigGrew up in religious, conservative, or purity-based sexual culturesAre trying to talk about porn with a partner without shame or shutdownWant to rebuild emotional safety after secrecy or mismatchWant a research-informed, deeply compassionate understanding of porn in relationships Mallorie blends research, personal narrative, and real couples’ stories to show that porn conflict is rarely about porn—it’s about meaning, unmet needs, emotional safety, and the ways partners miss each other without realizing it. If you’ve ever asked, “Why does this hurt so much?” or “Why don’t we see this the same way?” Support the show Follow Dr. Mallorie Sorce: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmalloriesorce LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mallorie-sorce-8729a1122 Learn more at: https://www.healingheartscounseling.co

    42 min
  5. 26 JAN

    Pornography in Context - Pornography, Religion, and Shame | Dr. Adam Scalese

    Send a text Episode 10: Pornography, Religion & Shame — How Faith Shapes Sexual Identity and Self-Worth Season 1 — Pornography in Context Why do religious teachings make porn feel spiritually dangerous? Why do so many people raised in faith traditions interpret desire as moral failure? And how does purity culture shape sexual shame for a lifetime? In this powerful episode of Complex Sex, Dr. Mallorie Sorce sits down with psychologist Dr. Adam Scalisi, a specialist in Out-of-Control Sexual Behavior (OCSB) and sexual health, to explore how religion, morality, and sexual development collide. Together, they unpack the emotional, relational, and cultural fallout that comes from growing up in conservative or purity-based environments—especially within LDS and Christian communities. This episode offers a compassionate, research-informed lens on how faith shapes desire, shame, identity, and the meanings people attach to pornography. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why religious frameworks position sex as both sacred and dangerousHow purity culture became a dominant force (and its ancient theological roots)The difference between shame vs. guilt—and why shame is far more destructiveHow gendered messaging teaches women to be “gatekeepers” and men to “control their urges”Why women often feel responsible for men’s behaviorHow men internalize the belief that sexual desire = moral weaknessHow these teachings create lifelong anxiety, secrecy, and sexual confusionWhy many people mistakenly label themselves “porn addicts” due to moral incongruenceWhat scrupulosity looks like—and how OCD shows up as religious sexual anxietyHow porn becomes accidental sex education for teens raised in silenceWhy choking and other high-intensity behaviors are showing up in teen sex encountersWhy purity culture leaves adults underprepared for real intimacy and communicationHow early experiences with porn + parental reactions shape lifelong sexual identityWhy sexual shame reinforces the very behaviors people fear mostWhat healthy sexual development looks like outside purity cultureHow couples can renegotiate sexual values, boundaries, and agreements with honestyWhy sexual self-compassion—not shame—is the foundation of erotic healing Perfect for listeners who: Grew up LDS, Christian, or in any conservative religious communityFeel shame, fear, or confusion about their sexual desire or porn useExperience anxiety, guilt, or panic related to sexuality or moralityHave partners who struggle with porn distressWant to understand OCSB without addiction-based modelsAre deconstructing purity culture and reclaiming their erotic identityWant compassion-driven, research-backed sexual education Mallorie and Adam offer insight, humor, lived experience, and clinical depth to help listeners untangle shame from values—and desire from doctrine. Their conversation highlights the nuance missing from religious discussions about sex and shows how healing is possibl Support the show Follow Dr. Mallorie Sorce: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmalloriesorce LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mallorie-sorce-8729a1122 Learn more at: https://www.healingheartscounseling.co

    1h 4m
  6. 19 JAN

    Pornography in Context - Exploring Sexual Fantasy and Sexual Desire - Part 2

    Send a text Episode 9: Fantasy, Identity & Desire — How Orientation, Gender, and Shame Shape Our Erotic Worlds Season 1 — Pornography in Context Why do different people fantasize about different things? Why do some fantasies feel empowering while others feel confusing or taboo? And how do gender, sexual orientation, culture, and shame shape the erotic stories we tell ourselves? In this solo follow-up to her conversation with Dr. Claire Malantine, Dr. Mallorie Sorce takes listeners deeper into the psychology of sexual fantasy, exploring how identity, biology, attachment, culture, and porn all interact to shape our inner erotic lives. This episode unpacks the myths about “male vs. female fantasies,” breaks down key research findings, and offers a compassionate framework for understanding why your fantasies look the way they do—without shame, fear, or judgment. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why gendered fantasy stereotypes are outdated and oversimplifiedWhat heterosexual, bisexual, gay, and queer individuals actually report fantasizing aboutWhy sexual minorities often have broader, more varied fantasy landscapesHow cultural norms shape what we believe we’re “allowed” to wantWhy taboo fantasies (like consensual non-consent) are more common than people thinkHow porn introduces, reinforces, or expands fantasy themesThe reinforcement effect: why repeated media exposure shapes desireWhy arousal ≠ endorsement, and why fantasy ≠ intentionHow to make sense of fantasies that feel confusing or clash with your valuesThe three types of sexual shame and how they distort fantasyWhy shame can both suppress and intensify desireThe neuroscience of fantasy: dopamine, novelty, and emotional regulationHow attachment style and sexual self-image show up in your erotic imaginationWhy desire discrepancy in couples is normal—and how fantasy can be a bridgeHow to talk about fantasies with a partner without pressure, panic, or miscommunicationWhen to share a fantasy, when not to, and how to do it safelyWhy fantasy is a tool for healing, growth, and emotional connection Perfect for listeners who: Feel confused, curious, or ashamed about their fantasiesWant to understand how porn shapes (but doesn’t define) their erotic imaginationGrew up in religious or purity-based environmentsNavigate taboo, intense, or identity-exploring fantasiesWant to deepen erotic connection in their relationshipsAre learning to talk about desire with a partnerWant a research-informed, shame-free understanding of fantasy Mallorie offers warmth, honesty, and clinical clarity as she guides listeners through one of the most misunderstood aspects of sexuality. Her message is simple and empowering: Your fantasies don’t define you. They illuminate you. They show what you long for, what you fear, what you’re healing from, and where you want to grow. Up next: Fantasy, porn, and erotic ethics — how to explore desire with safety, consent, and integrity. Support the show Follow Dr. Mallorie Sorce: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmalloriesorce LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mallorie-sorce-8729a1122 Learn more at: https://www.healingheartscounseling.co

    46 min
  7. 12 JAN

    Pornography in Context - Exploring Sexual Fantasy and Sexual Desire - Part 1 | Dr. Clair Mellenthin

    Send a text Episode 8: The Psychology of Fantasy — Attachment, Desire & the Meaning Behind What Turns Us On Season 1 — Pornography in Context Why do certain sexual fantasies stick with us? Why do some feel confusing, shameful, or “too much”? And what do our erotic imaginations reveal about belonging, attachment, and emotional needs? In this intimate and deeply validating episode of Complex Sex, Dr. Mallorie Sorce sits down with her longtime mentor and supervisor, Dr. Claire Malantine, an internationally recognized therapist, speaker, and award-winning author. Together, they unravel the psychology, neuroscience, and relational meaning behind sexual fantasy, desire, and the porn we’re drawn to. This episode is a compassionate exploration of why fantasy is a normal, healthy part of human sexuality—and how understanding it can create safety, connection, and better communication in relationships. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why fantasy ≠ intent — and why most fantasies are never meant to be acted outHow attachment needs like belonging, being wanted, and feeling loved shape erotic imaginationWhy partners can feel threatened by fantasy or porn—and the attachment injuries underneathHow shame, secrecy, and moral messages distort fantasy and desireWhy viewing fantasy through behavior-only “addiction” models misses the deeper emotional storyHow to talk about porn and fantasy in relationships without fear, jealousy, or shutdownWhy exploration and curiosity strengthen intimacy, safety, and erotic flexibilityHow consensual non-consent, BDSM, voyeurism, exhibitionism, and taboo fantasies function psychologicallyWhy these fantasies are common—especially among women—and almost never pathologicalThe neuroscience of fantasy: dopamine, oxytocin, reward loops, and why the brain revisits certain themesWhen fantasy is healthy, when it’s a coping strategy, and when additional support is neededHow to help children and teens navigate early exposure to porn with safety—not shameWhy parents must separate adult interpretation from child development when kids encounter explicit contentHow therapists can become safer guides by addressing their own discomfort around sexual topics Perfect for listeners who: Feel shame, confusion, or curiosity about their fantasiesWant to talk more openly with their partner about porn and desireGrew up with conservative, purity-based sexual messagingAre healing attachment injuries or betrayal around pornographyWant a science-based, sex-positive understanding of erotic imaginationAre parents or therapists navigating conversations about porn and sexuality Mallorie and Claire bring humor, honesty, and clinical wisdom to a conversation most people never get to have—one that reframes fantasy as a window into longing, safety, and emotional connection, not as a sign of brokenness. If you’ve ever wondered why your fantasies look the way they do—and what they actually mean—this episode will leave you feel Support the show Follow Dr. Mallorie Sorce: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmalloriesorce LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mallorie-sorce-8729a1122 Learn more at: https://www.healingheartscounseling.co

    57 min
  8. 5 JAN

    Pornography in Context - Treatment of OCSB

    Send a text Episode 7: How Do You Treat OCSB? Inside the Most Debated Models in Sex Therapy Season 1 — Pornography in Context What actually helps when someone feels their porn use is compulsive, distressing, or out of alignment with their values? And why is treating “porn addiction” more complicated than most people think? In this solo deep-dive episode of Complex Sex, Dr. Mallorie Sorce unpacks the most widely used — and most controversial — treatment models for Out of Control Sexual Behavior (OCSB) and problematic pornography use. Instead of moralizing or fear-based narratives, Mallorie brings research, nuance, and real clinical clarity to a topic that affects countless individuals and couples. From CBT to 12-step programs to trauma-informed somatic work, she explores what the evidence actually says, where the gaps are, and why no single model fits every person or every relationship. In this episode, you’ll learn: What OCSB is — and what it isn’tWhy “porn addiction” isn’t an official diagnosisWhat the latest research reveals about compulsive sexual behaviorWhy CBT currently has the strongest evidence — and its major limitationsHow affect regulation, attachment injuries, and trauma shape porn useWhy secrecy, shame, and moral distress mimic addiction patternsWhat mindfulness, somatic therapy, and neurobiology offer that CBT doesn’tHow EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) helps couples rebuild trust and safetyWhy emotionally attuned treatment reduces compulsivity more effectively than shameHow addiction models like 12-step and Carnes’ 30-task model help some clients — and harm othersWhat the Sexual Health Model and TINSA contribute to values-driven, sex-positive healingWhy individualized, flexible treatment plans matter far more than rigid abstinence goals Perfect for listeners who: Feel overwhelmed, ashamed, or confused about their porn useDon’t resonate with “addiction” languageGrew up with religious or moral messaging around sexualityWant a shame-free, scientifically grounded understanding of OCSBAre healing from betrayal, secrecy, or emotional disconnectionWork in mental health and want updated, ethical treatment frameworks Mallorie breaks down not just the behaviors, but the emotional stories beneath them — the trauma responses, attachment wounds, cultural scripts, and unmet needs that make porn a coping strategy for so many. She emphasizes that healing isn’t about achieving sexual “purity”; it’s about alignment, agency, emotional safety, and values-based sexual choices. If you’ve ever wondered what actually works in treating porn-related distress — or why different people need radically different approaches — this episode brings clarity, depth, and compassion. Up next: How to rebuild erotic confidence, connection, and trust after porn-related conflict in relationships. Support the show Follow Dr. Mallorie Sorce: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmalloriesorce LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mallorie-sorce-8729a1122 Learn more at: https://www.healingheartscounseling.co

    48 min

About

Complex Sex is a podcast dedicated to exploring the multifaceted world of sex, marriage, relationships, and therapy. Hosted by Dr. Mallorie Sorce, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist (EFT), each episode delves into intimate topics with empathy and expertise. As the owner of Healing Hearts Counseling in Murray, Utah, Dr. Sorce brings over seven years of experience in helping couples and individuals strengthen their relationships.   In Complex Sex, listeners can expect insightful discussions on: • Navigating sexual health and intimacy  • Enhancing marital and relationship dynamics  • Understanding therapeutic approaches to common challenges  • Exploring diverse perspectives from guest experts, including sex coaches and therapists Join Dr. Sorce and her guests as they unravel the complexities of human connection, offering practical advice and heartfelt conversations to enrich your personal journey.