At the peak of my life, my life ground to a halt. I found myself in the ICU after major spine surgery through my neck. Back then, I was working a medical job, running a nonprofit, writing my book, preaching on weekends, clocking 20 miles a week, going to the gym once to twice a day, cooking all our meals from scratch… I FELT LIKE A MACHINE. We'd made epic plans for me to quit work in a month, relocate to Tanzania in 3 months, and launch a brand new book in the States in 4 months. Then everything changed. The neurosurgeon told me I would not run, lift, or work like I used to for a very, very long time. And on the exact day I was supposed to return to normal living, my left knee meniscus was torn during physiotherapy. During those months of rehab, I struggled with chronic pain — pain that not only escalated, but spread to my other arm, chest, and left me sleepless night after night. As the pain drained me out, I slowly lost the will to live. But it didn't end there. The harder part was not finding hope to recover from pain. It was failing to understand why I was spiraling from fear, grief, people-pleasing, performing, pushing through — and calling it faith. In medical spaces, my pain was reduced to "just anxiety." In some spiritual spaces, my pain was called "lack of faith" or "all in my head." But it was only through moving to Tanzania, stepping away from some unhealthy dynamics, and eventually discovering trauma therapy, that I realized: My pain had a story. And so did my body. That is how Tender & Wild was birthed. This first episode is a glimpse of my story. And as the season unfolds, I'll be sharing some of the most tender parts of my life that I've never shared publicly before. How I slowly came to leave a spiritual community I had once called home for 18 years. How I disentangled faith from fear, honor from control, and submission from self-erasure. How complex trauma, emotional flashbacks, chronic pain and nervous system dysregulation are far more common than we think. How childhood wounds shape our reactions, relationships and lives more than we realize. This season is for the one who has ever felt: your reactions feel larger than they "should" be exhausted from carrying baggage from childhood with no one to turn to uncomfortable in spiritual spaces but unable to pinpoint why hopeless and struggling with chronic pain physical or emotional challenged trying to reconcile faith with therapy, science with prayer, healing with agency This is a season of conversations with experts, clinicians, survivors and thinkers from around the world — exploring trauma, chronic pain, spiritual harm, coercive relationships, emotional neglect, complex family dynamics, nervous system healing, faith, discernment and hope. Some guests are Christians. Some are not. And that's intentional. My hope is to create a space where science meets soul, where psychology and faith can walk hand in hand, and where we gently untangle spiritual truth from spiritual twisting. To anyone who has been scarred by family dynamics, disillusioned by those you trusted most or hurt by the church—I hope this space feels like an invitation. This isn't a substitute for therapy, of course. But it is a reminder that you are not alone. You can heal. You can trust God. And you CAN dream bravely again. Join me and some of the most insightful voices from around the world as we explore what it means to break free from cycles of harm and rebuild lives that are both tender and wild. Because true healing is not a return to who you were before the pain. It is the audacious becoming of who you were always meant to be. Welcome to Tender & Wild.
