The He Wants She Wants Marriage Podcast

Mark Usher and Matilde Crocini
  • 5.0 (9)
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Does your marriage feel like a war of unmet wants? We know how this feels. Follow our conversation in The He Wants She Wants Marriage Podcast. We’ll help you both get what you want in marriage so you never have to feel at war again. Hosted by relationship coaches, and husband and wife, Mark Usher and Matilde Crocini.

  1. 3 DAYS AGO

    The secret to creating a strong relationship in everyday married life’s chaos

    Do you want to know why autopilot marriage happens despite your best intentions? Because in relationship good intentions are not enough.With never-ending to-do lists, work, parenting, commitments with in-laws and more on the table in everyday life’s chaos, your relationship suffers. For husband and wife it’s easy to get caught in the day-to-day routine and forget to prioritise each other. It’s no one’s fault and yet it has a massive impact on emotional connection, intimacy and communication which becomes less and less fulfilling. If you don’t feel seen and prioritised in your relationship, it’s not because of lack of good intentions by your partner, but those intentions may not be enough. You may feel frustrated and think you need to hack most of what you do every day to have the time to dedicate to your marriage, but that’s not realistically possible in most cases. In this episode we share the #1 thing that when implemented will transform your intentionality in an actionable step, bringing connection back on in your relationship, without having to stop doing everything else that is important in your to-do list. Chapters:00:00:00 Good intentions are simply not enough in marriage00:03:26 Where your attention goes matters00:06:32 The cost of distraction in relationship00:10:10 Do this to reclaim your focus - your partner will love it00:13:26 This will make reclaiming your focus easier00:19:55 This is the best way to stay connected through the day00:23:55 How to start a new moment differently00:27:17 Transform your marriage doing this together  Share this episode with your partner and unlock even better results together! If you enjoyed this episode follow, subscribe and leave a review. It truly helps us reaching more listeners that, just like you, want to unlock the full potential in long-term relationship. Related episodes:Episode 10 - 3 steps to generate deeper intimacy couples must knowEpisode 10 YouTube#marriagepodcast #relationshipadvise #bethehusbandshebragsabout #emotionalintimacy #intimacy #husbandandwife #relatioshipcoaching #consciousmarriage Track 1253823– Monetization ID: 9HWIVQATIQUJECP3.

    31 min

  2. 30 APR

    How to stop the damage of Stonewalling in relationship – 4 steps to restore communication – Marriage Apocalypse Series Part 5

    Do you want to know why 85% of stonewalling happens in men? Research shows that between husband and wife the husband is more likely to fall into the pattern of stonewalling. With that said, research also shows that when the wife stonewalls it’s a real red flag signalling the risk of divorce. Stonewalling often follows when there’s a pattern of contempt in communication. And although in some cases stonewalling can be used intentionally as a manipulation tactic within abusive relationships, this is not what is actually happening in most cases. But whatever the reason for stonewalling, this emotional shutdown always communicates a message of rejection to your partner, and this is why in this episode we share how couples can consciously communicate to eradicate stonewalling as a pattern and transform the marriage together. By following the four steps we share in this episode you will be able to catch the partner before it escalates in conflict and turn the situation around so that no partner is feeling rejected or hurt anymore.  Share this episode with your partner and unlock even better results together! If you enjoyed this episode follow, subscribe and leave a review. It truly helps us reaching more listeners that, just like you, want to unlock the full potential in long-term relationship. Other episodes in this series:Ep 11 The 4 traits that will doom your marriage if you don’t act now — Marriage Apocalypse Series, Part 1Episode 11 YouTube Ep 12 How to stop toxic criticism from ruining your marriage – Marriage Apocalypse Series Part 2Episode12 YouTube Ep 13 4 steps to avoid defensiveness from hurting communication in your relationship – Marriage Apocalypse Series Part 3Episode 13 YouTubeEp 15 3 phases to eradicate contempt in marriage – couples not doing this risk divorce – Marriage Apocalypse Series Part 4Episode 15 YouTube Track 1253823– Monetization ID: 9HWIVQATIQUJECP3. #marriagepodcast #relationshipadvise #bethehusbandshebragsabout #emotionalintimacy #intimacy #husbandandwife #relatioshipcoaching #consciousmarriage

    26 min

  3. 24 APR

    3 phases to eradicate contempt in marriage – couples not doing this risk divorce – Marriage Apocalypse Series Part 4

    Do you want to know why most marriages fails?  The most common answers could be infidelity, financial issues, lack of love, having picked the wrong partner and so on. And yet most of the most common reasons for divorce are the symptoms of an underlying pattern that erodes the relationship and that is contempt. When husband and wife have left the cycle of defensiveness and criticism go on unchecked, this leads to a building of contempt which is the greatest predictor of divorce. The good news is, it’s never too late to turn your relationship around by transforming your communication and rebuild connection. In this episode we share the antidote to contempt so that you and your partner can transform your marriage together. Share this episode with your partner and unlock even better results together! If you enjoyed this episode follow, subscribe and leave a review. It truly helps us reaching more listeners that, just like you, want to unlock the full potential in long-term relationship. Chapters:00:00:00 Contempt: the number 1 predictor of divorce00:05:14 The most potent antidote to contempt00:08:11 Phase 1: see the perfection in the present00:13:34 Skilfully reclaim your past together00:20:20 Reclaim the potential for your marriage's future00:25:30 Listen to the full marriage Apocalypse Series Related episodes:Episode 11 The 4 traits that will doom your marriage if you don’t act now — Marriage Apocalypse Series, Part 1Episode 11 YouTube videoEpisode 12 How to stop toxic criticism from ruining your marriage – Marriage Apocalypse Series Part 2Episode 12 YouTube videoEpisode 13 4 steps to avoid defensiveness from hurting communication in your relationship – Marriage Apocalypse Series Part 3Episode 13 YouTube Video Track 1253823– Monetization ID: 9HWIVQATIQUJECP3. #marriagepodcast #relationshipadvise #bethehusbandshebragsabout #emotionalintimacy #intimacy #husbandandwife #relatioshipcoaching #consciousmarriage

    28 min

  4. 16 APR

    5 relationship hacks to fuel the flame in your marriage this spring

    Do you want to know why most marriages fail to keep the flames of intimacy and connection going? Because life gets busy and most couples forget to fuel the flames, so those flames slowly die. And with them so do emotional intimacy, sexual connection and overall happiness in marriage. Spring renewal is not all about spring cleaning your house and refreshing your wardrobe. It can also be a very effective way to spark life back in your marriage and bring that connection back online. In this episode we share 5 relationship hacks to help you fuel the flames in your marriage. This is an opportunity for husband and wife to get together and transform their relationship this spring! This is your time to bloom together! Chapters: 00:00:00 Harness spring energy for deeper couple connection00:05:20 Celebrate your shared victories00:07:40 Fuel this to fuel the flame00:12:46 Remove what drains your energy00:16:04 The best way to make it happen00:18:57 The environment is important too Related episode:Ep4: If your partner ignores your dreams use these 3 steps Ep 4 YouTube video Share this episode with your partner and unlock even better results together! If you enjoyed this episode follow, subscribe and leave a review. It truly helps us reaching more listeners that, just like you, want to unlock the full potential in long-term relationship. Track 1253823– Monetization ID: 9HWIVQATIQUJECP3. #marriagepodcast #relationshipadvise #bethehusbandshebragsabout #emotionalintimacy #intimacy #husbandandwife #relatioshipcoaching #consciousmarriage

    29 min

  5. 10 APR

    4 steps to avoid defensiveness from hurting communication in your relationship – Marriage Apocalypse Series Part 3

    Do you want to know why most communications in relationship end up with a fight? This happens when unchecked criticism and defensiveness rule interactions with your partner. What comes first? Does feeling always criticised by your partner cause you to be defensive? Or is your default defensiveness that causes your partner to up the volume of their criticism? The answer is: both.  Criticism and defensiveness will bring more and more conflict between husband and wife to the point of every communication ending with a fight or stonewalling. In this episode we are sharing the 4 steps that will help any couple to transform the way they communicate, eradicating the need to get defensive and creating more emotional intimacy and connection. Chapters: 00:00:00 Understanding defensiveness00:01:34 How defensiveness impacts communications00:04:51 Childhood trauma and the cycle of criticism00:09:25 The 4 steps that will change everything00:14:49 The transformative power of owning your inner state and resistance00:18:50 Using mirroring and labelling to disarm resistance00:29:19 Implement these actions to achieve change00:36:58 Empower your marriage with these communication tools  Related episodes:Ep11: 4 traits that will doom your marriage if you don’t act – Marriage Apocalypse Series, Part 1Ep 11 You Tube video Ep 12: How to stop toxic criticism from ruining your marriage – Marriage Apocalypse Series Part 2Ep 12 YouTube video Track 1253823– Monetization ID: 9HWIVQATIQUJECP3. #marriagepodcast #relationshipadvise #bethehusbandshebragsabout #emotionalintimacy #intimacy #husbandandwife #relatioshipcoaching

    39 min

  6. 3 APR

    How to stop toxic criticism from ruining your marriage – Marriage Apocalypse Series Part 2

    How is criticism impacting your relationship? Has feedback become a game of who shouts the loudest in your marriage? Do you feel ignored in your relationship when you give feedback? And do you feel in turn constantly criticised when your partner speaks to you? The thing is, your partner is probably ignoring your feedback, leading you to turn up the volume and falling into criticism. And you might be doing the same too. And this table tennis of criticism between husband and wife puts a real strain in communication. Common marriage advice is to transform toxic criticism into constructive criticism. But this only gets you so far. What we know is that all criticism is toxic and that there's a different, more effective way to transform communication in your relationship so that instead of feeling unseen you both get to be listened. No need to shout anymore! In this episode we offer simple and clear examples of how to transform toxic criticism into constructive feedback that truly lands, forever transforming your relationship from a war of unmet needs into a happy marriage. Share this episode with your partner and unlock even better results together!If you enjoyed this episode follow, subscribe and leave a review. It truly helps us reaching more listeners that, just like you, want to unlock the full potential in long-term relationship. Chapters:00:00:00 is all criticism toxic?00:04:25 Transforming Explicit criticism with "A part of me..."00:08:26 Overcoming "Always" and "Never" as unhelpful way of communicating00:13:05 Stop comparing: communicate your needs directly00:18:48 Eliminate "Should" statements for deeper connection00:25:11 The damage of sarcasm and hidden humour in relationship00:27:48 The formula to transform communication in your marriage Related episode: Ep11: 4 traits that will doom your marriage if you don’t act – Marriage Apocalypse Series, Part 1YouTube video Ep11: 4 traits that will doom your marriage if you don’t act – Marriage Apocalypse Series, Part 1 Track 1253823– Monetization ID: 9HWIVQATIQUJECP3. #marriagepodcast #relationshipadvise #bethehusbandshebragsabout #emotionalintimacy #intimacy #husbandandwife #relatioshipcoaching

    31 min
  7. The 4 traits that will doom your marriage if you don’t act now — Marriage Apocalypse Series, Part 1

    27 MAR

    The 4 traits that will doom your marriage if you don’t act now — Marriage Apocalypse Series, Part 1

    Do you want to know what will kill your relationship if you don’t act now? The 4 Horsemen of marriage Apocalypse, as described by John Gottman, when present in marriage are the greatest predictor of divorce. The trap most couples fall into is that either husband or wife (often both) feel entitled in practicing these traits during everyday communication, and do not realize the impact these actually have on long-term relating. We did that for a long time ourselves! In this episode we offer clarity on what these traits are and how to spot them, as they can sneak in under the radar of the best intentioned couples. These 4 traits can truly bring doom to your marriage, and yet there's good news: With awareness it's never too late to start implementing changes in your communication, deepening your connection day after day, bringing beautiful transformation to your marriage. Share this episode with your partner and unlock even better results together! If you enjoyed this episode subscribe and leave a review. It truly helps us reaching more listeners that, just like you, want to unlock the full potential in long-term relationship. Chapters: 00:00:00 Understanding Gottman's 4 Horsemen & Why awareness matters00:03:45 Unpacking Criticism & The cycle of defensiveness in marriage00:13:13 Identifying Contempt & The silent killer of Stonewalling00:27:00 Overcoming the Truth Trap & Transforming your marriage Related episodes:Ep 12: How to stop toxic criticism from ruining your marriage – Marriage Apocalypse Series Part 2 YouTube video: How to stop toxic criticism from ruining your marriage – Marriage Apocalypse Series Part 2 Track 1253823– Monetization ID: 9HWIVQATIQUJECP3.

    34 min
  8. 3 steps to generate deeper intimacy couples must know

    20 MAR

    3 steps to generate deeper intimacy couples must know

    Do you want to know why intimacy dies out in most longterm relationships? It is because no one taught us how to generate deeper emotional intimacy and connection. Most couples believe it should just be there. The truth is, building and maintaining emotional intimacy in marriage is a skill we need to cultivate. It doesn't just happen. In this episode we share 3 super practical steps you can start implementing today that will not only help you feeling heard in your relationship, but also experiencing deeper emotional connection with your partner. Empathy in marriage, alongside skillful communication are key ingredients to unlock a happy and fulfilling relationship. Share this episode with your partner and unlock even better results together!If you enjoyed this episode subscribe and leave a review. It truly helps us reaching more listeners that, just like you, want to unlock the full potential in long-term relationship. Related Episode Ep 3 The #1 thing that will have your partner love your feedback Chapters:00:00:00 Why intimacy fades & How to cultivate it00:05:59 The power of "It seems like you are feeling..."00:12:51 How "That must be so..." transforms connection00:20:11 Eye contact, touch and generosity for deeper bond00:29:08 Commit to these steps for a transformed relationship Track 1253823– Monetization ID: 9HWIVQATIQUJECP3.

    32 min
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About

Does your marriage feel like a war of unmet wants? We know how this feels. Follow our conversation in The He Wants She Wants Marriage Podcast. We’ll help you both get what you want in marriage so you never have to feel at war again. Hosted by relationship coaches, and husband and wife, Mark Usher and Matilde Crocini.

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