The Sex After Kids Podcast

Sofia Ashley

Add more play to your couple connection and get back into the bedroom for more frequent and more satisfying naked sexy fun time after kids. 

  1. 24 MAR

    The Inner Critic Ruining Your Sex Life

    Send us Fan Mail Ever feel like you're watching yourself during sex instead of actually enjoying it? In this episode, we're diving into the concept of spectatoring—a form of sexual self-consciousness where you're mentally observing and judging yourself during intimate moments instead of being present in your body. If you've ever found yourself thinking things like "What do I do with my hands?" or "Do I look weird right now?" you're not alone. These thoughts are incredibly common, and they can seriously interfere with pleasure and connection. We'll explore where spectatoring comes from, how the male gaze shapes the way many women experience their bodies, and why this mental "observer" can make it harder to relax and feel turned on. I also share three practical ways to shift out of spectator mode and back into your body so you can experience deeper connection and pleasure with your partner. Whether you're navigating intimacy after kids or simply want to feel more present in your sex life, this episode will give you a powerful new lens for understanding what's happening in your mind during intimacy. Ready to reconnect with intimacy after kids? Join my free masterclass where I walk you through the biggest reasons intimacy changes after parenthood—and what you can do to bring back connection, pleasure, and desire in your relationship. SIGN UP HERE! Connect with me: Instagram: @intimacyafterkids Website: https://intimacyafterkids.com

    18 min
  2. 17 MAR

    How to Rebuild Sexual Desire: The Positive Feedback Loop of Great Sex

    Send us Fan Mail What if rebuilding sexual desire wasn't about trying harder — but about changing the experiences your body associates with sex? In this episode, we explore the concept of the positive feedback loop of great sex and how your nervous system plays a powerful role in whether intimacy feels inviting or overwhelming. When sexual experiences feel safe, pleasurable, and connected, your body begins to associate sex with positive outcomes — making desire easier and more natural over time. But when stress, pressure, resentment, or past negative experiences are present, your body can fall into the opposite cycle: a negative feedback loop that makes desire harder to access. The good news? You can shift that pattern. Rather than aiming for mind-blowing sex right away, rebuilding desire often starts with small, low-pressure wins that help your nervous system relax and feel safe again. In this episode, we talk about how couples can begin creating those positive experiences and slowly rewire their relationship with intimacy. In this episode, we discuss: What a sexual feedback loop is and why it mattersHow the nervous system influences desire and pleasureWhy pressure and stress can shut down sexual responsivenessThe role of consent, communication, and safety in rebuilding trustSimple ways to create low-pressure intimacy and positive experiences If you've been feeling stuck in a cycle where sex feels tense, obligatory, or difficult to get excited about, this episode will help you understand what’s happening in your body — and how to start shifting the pattern. Take the Solve Your Sex Drive Quiz and download the consent and connection exercise mentioned in the episode: TAKE IT HERE

    16 min

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Add more play to your couple connection and get back into the bedroom for more frequent and more satisfying naked sexy fun time after kids. 

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