Big Stuff With Danielle Colley

Danielle Colley
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  • Self-Improvement

You know who's going through BIG STUFF? Literally everyone. But it's how you handle it that makes the difference.  Award-winning author and life coach Danielle Colley gets real about the relentless expectations we put on ourselves, the comparison trap, and the gap between how life looks and how it actually feels. For ambitious women who may be crushing their goals but are feeling crushed by them. Conversations that matter. A little advice, a little inspiration, and a lot of humanness. No toxic positivity - just raw honesty about what it really takes to thrive. If you're burnt out from achieving everything or tired of pretending it's all fine, this is for you. Because life should feel GOOD to live. New episodes weekly Follow @daniellecolley

  1. 54 mins ago

    Why You Can't Sleep In Perimenopause and Menopause; Sleep Psychologist Explains

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text Dr Michelle Olaithe has spent her career inside sleep labs and university research, obsessed with what happens to the brain when sleep breaks down.  Now she's turning that expertise on perimenopause and menopause — treating sleep and hormones as the same problem, not two separate ones.  Danielle and Michelle get into testosterone (the hormone nobody talks about), why melatonin isn't a sleeping pill, and why "fix your sleep" is never as simple as it sounds. Michelle has kindly sent Big Stuff podcast a sleep and menopause handout, plus a sleep diary and a summary sheet of hormones and impacts on sleep for you.  Please email danielle@daniellecolley.com.au and we will send it right over.  Chapters  0:00 — Why Michelle is obsessed with sleep5:00 — Danielle's lifelong "radio station" brain and ADHD7:00 — The statistics of women and sleep9:00 —When sleep issues need real intervention13:00 — When to start investigating16:00 — The hormone nobody talks about22:00 — Why HRT isn't a silver bullet for sleep25:00 — Becoming your own detective29:00 — Melatonin myths 35:00 — How much sleep do you actually need?42:00 — It's not always biology47:00 — Masking, neurodivergence, and "the hag"50:00 — Why childhood stuff resurfaces now52:00 — Alcohol and sleep — the real cost54:00 — Wrap-up: good health is a spectrum Key Takeaways 40–60% of women going through perimenopause and menopause experience disrupted sleep — it's the majority, not the exception.Testosterone is the most overlooked hormone in HRT conversations, and it plays a major role in cognitive function.Melatonin isn't a sleeping pill — it's a rhythm-setter, and most people take it the wrong way.HRT alone doesn't guarantee good sleep — it often still needs its own routine, investigation, and support.Disrupted sleep can sometimes be pointing to something else entirely — unresolved boundaries, relationship dynamics, or things worth sitting with rather than fixing immediately. FAQs Does HRT fix perimenopause sleep problems? Not always — HRT helps a lot of people, but sleep often needs its own separate investigation and routine on top of it.What's the right way to take melatonin? As a small, consistent dose taken at the same time each evening to set your body's rhythm — not as a rescue dose once you're already awake at night.Why does testosterone matter for women in perimenopause? It's declining with age (not just menopause) and has a major impact on cognitive function, brain fog, and libido — but it's rarely included in standard HRT.References & Links Dr Michelle Olaithe — ⁠The Sleep Psychologist ⁠Michelle's TEDxMandurah talk, ⁠"Science of Sleep"⁠ Related episodes: Michelle's previous Big Stuff appearance on narcissism -⁠ Are You Misdiagnosing Your Relationship? ⁠ Danielle's experience with her late in life adhd diagnosis and how peri impacted that - ADHD and Perimenopause; Danielle's Midlife Diagnosis Danielle Colley: daniellecolley.com.au If this episode helped you make sense of your own sleep, share it with one woman who needs to hear it.

    Why You Can't Sleep In Perimenopause and Menopause; Sleep Psychologist Explains

  2. 19 Aug

    The Buzz Cut; Midlife Crisis or A Reckoning?

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text When a fifty-year-old woman shaves her head, everyone assumes one of two things: midlife crisis or rebellion.  In this episode, Danielle takes you through the real timeline — from the moment she first wanted to do it, the day her mum died, through a conversation in Turkey that cracked something open, to sitting in a barber's chair on her 50th birthday. It's not about hair. It's about grief, identity, beauty standards, and the moments we talk ourselves out of the thing we already know we need to do. KEY TAKEAWAYS Grief has unspoken rules about how "tidy" it's supposed to look — and shaving her head when her mum died would have broken themA friend's experience with alopecia universalis reframed hair as costume rather than identity, and reframed choice as something to actually useThe urge to shave her head became a hyperfixation in the lead-up — and she couldn't tell if that made it less real or more realThe moment of surrender came from getting tired of dithering, not from a big epiphanyFive weeks on, she's not rushing to grow it back — because the growing-back is often the real tell of whether the change was ever about anything at allFAQS Was this actually a midlife crisis? Danielle unpacks this directly in the episode — and lands somewhere more interesting than a straight yes or no. What made her finally do it? A conversation in Turkey with a friend who has Alopecia Universalis, nearly a year after she first wanted to shave her head when her mum died. Is she going to grow it back? Not yet, and possibly not for a while — she talks about treating it as a chapter rather than a one-off moment. REFERENCES / LINKS Related episode: Carolyn's story on living with Alopecia Universalis Related episode: The Sausage Mincer of MidlifeCALL TO ACTION Send Danielle your "How Are You Really?" questions at bigstuffpod@gmail.com — she reads every one. Share this with a friend who is ready to do something just for them regardless of what society says.

    The Buzz Cut; Midlife Crisis or A Reckoning?

  3. 12 Aug

    Stop Setting Goals and Start Doing This Instead — Tamsin Simounds on The Experiment Mindset

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text You're Not Stuck. You're Just Using the Wrong Method. You've read the books. Done the courses. Set the goals. Built the plan. And somehow you're still repeating the same patterns. Sound familiar? In this episode I'm talking with Tamsin Simounds — leadership coach, behaviour change expert, and author of The Experiment Mindset — about why the problem was never your motivation. It was your method. Tamsin grew up watching her high-achieving dad slowly unravel behind closed doors — and then found herself repeating the patterns. That recognition sent her on a decade-long journey into neuroscience, psychology, and behaviour change — and eventually to writing a book that challenges everything we think we know about how growth actually happens. This conversation goes deep on the gap between knowing and doing, why traditional goal-setting keeps ambitious people stuck, what your brain does when you're running on empty, and the small but radical shift that changes everything. If you've ever wondered why you can't seem to get out of your own way despite doing all the right things — this one is for you. In this episode we cover: Why reading books and listening to podcasts is actually high-quality procrastinationThe Feedback/Action Matrix — and which quadrant most high achievers are stuck inWhat the body budget really means, and why you can't grow when you're depletedThe difference between progress and growth (and why busy people confuse them)How to design a real-life experiment — without blowing up your careerWhy perfectionism isn't about standards FAQs: What is the Experiment Mindset? It's a framework developed by Tamsin Simounds that shifts the way you approach change — from chasing outcomes to gathering data. Instead of setting a big goal, you run small, low-risk experiments to learn what actually works for you. The goal isn't to win. The goal is to learn. How is the Experiment Mindset different from a growth mindset? As one of Tamsin's audience members put it: the growth mindset is the cake, but you don't know how to eat it. The Experiment Mindset carves it up and hands you a piece. It's a growth mindset in action — broken down into steps small enough to take. What are the Three Levers of Change? Environment (the people, places and prompts around you), physiology (your body's energy budget — sleep, nutrition, movement), and psychology (your identity, beliefs and mindset). All three need to be working. If one is broken, it limits everything else. Chapter Markers: 0:00 — Introduction and welcome2:30 — Tamsin's story8:00 — Her dad's decline and finding the gift in the tough stuff14:00 — Growing up as the high achiever who didn't know who she was without the accolades20:00 — Modern Psychology — and becoming a different person27:00 — Horizon Setting: knowing what you want vs chasing the next tap on the shoulder33:00 — 2020: The perfect storm40:00 — Why you can't grow when you're running on empty44:00 — The Three Levers47:00 — Drowning in insight and starving for change51:00 — What a real life experiment actually looks like55:00 — The piece of cake57:00 — The $40k lesson in why traditional goal-setting is a trap60:00 — Perfectionism as identity protection62:00 — The executive who changed her life without changing her job63:30 — What's next for Tamsin — and the surprising product startup launching alongside the book Links and Resources: The Book The Experiment Mindset by Tamsin Simounds — available now on Amazon and Booktopia Website - Tamsin Simounds The Undies - Jump Proof activewear Find more Danielle  The Chocolate Bar Life by Danielle Colley The website - daniellecolley.com.au

    Stop Setting Goals and Start Doing This Instead — Tamsin Simounds on The Experiment Mindset

  4. 5 Aug

    Sex After Menopause; Why It's Not Just A "Her" Problem - Isiah McKimmie

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text Isiah McKimmie is one of Australia's most sought-after couples therapists and sexologists — Masters-qualified, Gottman-trained, the person other therapists go to when they need a second opinion. In this episode, Danielle and Isiah get into what actually happens to desire, intimacy and identity during perimenopause — the pain that goes unspoken, the desire that shows up in dreams but nowhere else, and the very real grief of feeling disconnected from your own body. They also unpack something rarely talked about: menopause isn't just a “her” issue. Men go through their own version too, and it's reshaping relationships in ways most couples never see coming. KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE●      Menopause rarely creates problems in a relationship out of nowhere — it tends to surface what's already been sitting there, sometimes for years. ●      Desire in women is often responsive, not spontaneous — brakes (stress, exhaustion, feeling touched-out) need to come off before accelerators (novelty, connection, touch) can work. ●      Menopause is not just a women's issue. Andropause is real, and erectile dysfunction rates rise sharply with age — by 50 there's already a 50% chance of experiencing it. ●      Reclaiming your sensual self is partly an individual responsibility, but left unaddressed it becomes a shared relationship issue too — it's not an either/or. ●      Couples can and do maintain satisfying intimacy well into their 70s, 80s and beyond — it just requires learning new skills and communicating openly as the body changes. TWO THINGS TO SIT WITHFirst: if you've been carrying this like it's yours to fix, it's worth asking whether you've actually looked at the relationship as a whole, not just your hormones. Second: we spend a lot of energy waiting to feel like our old sensual selves again — but that's not coming back, not because it's gone, but because we can only move forward into whatever this next version looks like. FAQsIs perimenopause solely to blame for relationship problems? Not usually. Isiah's clinical experience is that menopause tends to surface issues that were already present in a relationship, often for years, rather than creating them from scratch. Can couples still have a satisfying sex life after menopause? Yes. Isiah has worked with couples well into their 70s and 80s who report their most satisfying intimacy yet — it just often looks different to what it did in their 20s and 30s. Is “andropause” or “manopause” a real thing? Yes. Men experience their own hormonal and identity shifts in midlife, including a sharply rising likelihood of erectile dysfunction with age, and this is rarely spoken about alongside women's menopause. RESOURCES & LINKS For Isiah -  ●      Website - Isiah McKimmie — Couples Therapist & Sexologist ●      Instagram - @isiahmckimmie.sexologist For Danielle -  ●   Website - Danielle Colley ●   Instagram - @iamdaniellecolley Books mentioned -  ●      Come As You Are - Emily Nagoski     If this episode stirred something up for you or your relationship, don't just process it with your girlfriends over wine — go have the actual conversation, with your partner. And if you know someone who needs to hear this, send them the episode. Got a question or a story you want covered on the show?  Email bigstuffpod@gmail.com or get in touch on insta.

    Sex After Menopause; Why It's Not Just A "Her" Problem - Isiah McKimmie

  5. 24 June

    Chezzi Denyer Sees Dead People; Mediumship, Intuition, and Learning To Trust Yourself

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text She was four years old when she told her mum that the man up the road had died in the night — She was right. Chezzi Denyer spent the next four decades becoming the most logical, credible, provable version of herself she could manage. She built a career in television. She worked at Sunrise. She was a journalist. And she pushed that other part of herself so far down that she almost forgot it existed. Then her best friend Amy died. And Amy, being Amy, refused to stay quiet about it. Chezzi is one of Australia's most recognisable television producers, a certified psychic medium, a mental health advocate, and the author of the memoir The Weird Little Girl Who Talks to Ghosts. This is a conversation about grief, intuition, the gift that kept getting punished, and what it costs a woman to spend her life hiding the truest thing about herself. If you've ever had a knowing you talked yourself out of — this one is for you. CHAPTERS0:00 — Introduction 3:00 — Coming out  8:00 — Self-protection vs living a lie 11:00 — Chezzi's first memory of the gift 17:00 — Catholic school, the cane, and praying not to go to hell 22:00 — ADHD at 40 26:00 — Holding it all together  30:00 — Suppressing spirit  35:00 — Intuition as a muscle 40:00 — Signs and the language you build with the universe 44:00 — Danielle's mum 48:00 — Losing Amy 58:00 — Medium school  64:00 — Grant's accident 68:00 — The vision quest that wasn't 76:00 — The messages from spirit 80:00 — Unconditional love and losing the fear of dying 83:00 — For the woo curious KEY TAKEAWAYS Self-protection and living a lie can look the same from the outside — but only one of them is something you chose in order to survive. Intuition is subtle. But it's almost always the very first thing you feel — before the second-guessing starts.You can choose your own language with the universe and ask for what you need. Chezzi asked for a crow mid-recording. Three came. The people we've lost aren't missing us the way we miss them — because they're still with us. They just want us to live.The truest thing about you is not a problem to be managed. It may have been treated that way. That's not the same thing.FAQS What is Chezzi Denyer's book about? The Weird Little Girl Who Talks to Ghosts is Chezzi's debut memoir. It tells the story of a life spent hiding a gift she was born with — and the grief, courage, and surrender it took to finally own it. The last section of the book contains messages received from spirit, written in Chezzi's own hand. How did Chezzi Denyer become a psychic medium?  After the death of her close friend Amy in 2022, Chezzi began experiencing what she believed were signs from Amy — birds flying into windows, songs playing on radios that weren't on, her young daughter pointing to empty corners of the room. She enrolled in The Medium School in Canada, studied under renowned psychic Tony Stockwell at Arthur Findlay College in the UK, and became a certified medium in 2024. What is claircognizance? Claircognizance is a form of psychic knowing — where you simply know something without being able to explain how. Chezzi describes not being able to leave the house the day of Grant's accident, and the same feeling the morning of September 11. It's different from intuition in that it arrives as a certainty rather than a nudge. RESOURCES AND LINKS Chezzi Denyer —⁠ Instagram⁠⁠The Weird Little Girl Who Talks to Ghosts⁠ — available now wherever books are sold⁠The Weird Little Girl Facebook Circle ⁠— Facebook group for woo curious community Danielle Colley — ⁠daniellecolley.com.au⁠ Big Stuff — ⁠bigstuffpod@gmail.com⁠ If this episode reached into your chest and squeezed something — share it with one person who needs to hear it. You never know whose permission slip this might be.  Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and come find us at ⁠bigstuffpod@gmail.com⁠.

    Chezzi Denyer Sees Dead People; Mediumship, Intuition, and Learning To Trust Yourself

  6. 17 June

    The 3 Relationship Patterns That Keep Repeating (And How to Stop Them) - Sarah McGahon

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text What if the fight you keep having with your partner was never actually about the washing (or whatever your recurring thing is?) Channel and energy healer, Sarah McGahan, has worked with over 700 women in private healing sessions all over the world, and across all of those sessions, the same three relationship patterns kept showing up, again and again.  Not just in romantic relationships — with mothers, with children, with friends, with colleagues, and with themselves.  Danielle has done her own healing work with Sarah personally, and in this conversation they go deep into what those three patterns are, where they actually come from, and why doing "all the work" doesn't always make them disappear. The three most common relationship patterns Sarah sees in her private practice and how they are showing up in reality.These patterns usually aren't random. They're typically formed in early childhood, before age seven, through what Sarah calls environmental conditioning.The clearest sign of your own dominant pattern isn't the big dramatic moments — it's something far simpler.Healing a pattern doesn't mean it never gets triggered again but what actually happens when you finally do the work. As Sarah puts it: it's not your fault, but it is your responsibility. The pattern wasn't your doing, but breaking it now is yours to carry. What are the three relationship patterns Sarah McGahan talks about? Fear of abandonment (and its variations, fear of loss and fear of betrayal), the need for control, and an unconscious addiction to pain and suffering or drama. Why do I keep repeating the same relationship pattern even after years of therapy? According to Sarah, these patterns are often formed very early in childhood, often even before age seven, and can run so deep that they're often not fully resolved through talk therapy alone.  How do I figure out which pattern is mine? One simple question shared by Sarah helps you to understand why even in different relationships, different jobs, different friendships, but the same dynamic keeps showing up.  Find Sarah McGahan, Channel and Intuitive Healer Sarah's website - ⁠sarahmcgahan.com⁠ Sarah's Instagram- ⁠@channelwithsarah⁠ Or find more Danielle -  Website - ⁠daniellecolley.com.au⁠ Contact Danielle - danielle@daniellecolley.com.au  Podcast contact: ⁠bigstuffpod@gmail.com⁠

    The 3 Relationship Patterns That Keep Repeating (And How to Stop Them) - Sarah McGahon

  7. 10 June

    She Lost Her Voice for a Year. Here's What She Found - Sophie Bretag

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text Sophie Bretag came on this show to talk about kindness. But what she really gave us was something far more important — a front-row seat to what happens when everything you've built your identity around is taken from you, and what you discover in the silence that follows.  Two years ago, Sophie had surgery for tongue cancer — a rare diagnosis for a woman her age — and spent almost twelve months unable to speak clearly. For someone whose entire career is built on her voice, that enforced silence became the most profound teacher of her life. This is a conversation about what it actually means to choose yourself — not as a concept, but when the stakes are real, when your husband is hospitalised the same week you are, when your kids need you, when going back to work two weeks post-surgery feels like the only option.  Sophie is warm, funny, and extraordinarily open, and I found myself receiving things in this conversation that I didn't even know I needed. I think you will too. CHAPTERS 0:00 — Introduction  3:00 — The lump on Sophie's tongue  10:00 — The diagnosis: "baby cancer"  17:00 — The operation  22:00 — Speaking for the last time before surgery  27:00 — The biggest fears going under the knife  33:00 — When your other senses take over 38:00 — The outpouring of love   44:00 — Setting the hardest boundaries of her life  49:00 — "I chose to choose me"  54:00 — What kindness actually looks like day to day  56:00 — What she would tell herself two years ago RESOURCES & LINKS Sophie Bretag — mettaleaders.com The Kind Way — available for pre-order now, in store 30 June 2025 Sophie on LinkedIn Sophie on Instagram — @sophiebretag Danielle Colley — daniellecolley.com.au Instagram - @iamdaniellecolley Contact Big Stuff — bigstuffpod@gmail.com THINKING POINTS When someone you love is struggling, do you offer an open door — "let me know if you need anything" — or do you give them options?  Think about one person in your life right now who might need A, B, C, or D instead. Where are you still waiting for permission to stop going back to the way things were? You already have it.

    She Lost Her Voice for a Year. Here's What She Found - Sophie Bretag

  8. 3 June

    HAYR? What Grief Made

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text Six months ago, Danielle stepped back from the daily grind of running a business and gave herself something she'd never given herself before: time.  Not because she didn't know what was coming — she did — but because she decided to meet it with open hands instead of a full calendar. What followed was two books, a body of paintings, and her very first art show. This episode is about what happens when grief asks you to stop explaining yourself and just make something true instead. It's also about the five things Danielle learned from announcing something terrifying before she was ready — and why that's exactly the point. CHAPTERS 0:00 — Introduction  2:30 — The in-between  6:00 — What grief actually asks of you  9:00 — Why she made space before the hardest thing arrived  12:30 — The art, the books, and what it all is really  16:00 — Five things learned from hosting a first art show  16:30 — 1. Do it scared  18:30 — 2. Audacity is excellent  19:30 — 3. The devil is in the details  21:30 — 4. Release the outcome  23:00 — 5. Deadlines are king  24:30 — You don't need permission to begin The As She Is collection — available to view and purchase via Danielle's Instagram @daniellecolley.art If this episode landed somewhere real for you, send Danielle a message — she genuinely wants to know.  You can reach her at ⁠bigstuffpod@gmail.com⁠ or find her at daniellecolley.com.au.  And if you know someone who's been sitting on something — a creative project, a scary goal, a version of themselves they haven't shown anyone yet — share this one with them.  That's exactly who it was made for.

    HAYR? What Grief Made
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About

You know who's going through BIG STUFF? Literally everyone. But it's how you handle it that makes the difference.  Award-winning author and life coach Danielle Colley gets real about the relentless expectations we put on ourselves, the comparison trap, and the gap between how life looks and how it actually feels. For ambitious women who may be crushing their goals but are feeling crushed by them. Conversations that matter. A little advice, a little inspiration, and a lot of humanness. No toxic positivity - just raw honesty about what it really takes to thrive. If you're burnt out from achieving everything or tired of pretending it's all fine, this is for you. Because life should feel GOOD to live. New episodes weekly Follow @daniellecolley

Information

  • Creator
    Danielle Colley
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    47
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Big Stuff With Danielle Colley
  • Show Website
    Big Stuff With Danielle Colley