Big Stuff With Danielle Colley

Danielle Colley
  • 5.0 (8)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

You know who's going through BIG STUFF? Literally everyone. But it's how you handle it that makes the difference.  Award-winning author and life coach Danielle Colley gets real about the relentless expectations we put on ourselves, the comparison trap, and the gap between how life looks and how it actually feels. For ambitious women who may be crushing their goals but are feeling crushed by them. Conversations that matter. A little advice, a little inspiration, and a lot of humanness. No toxic positivity - just raw honesty about what it really takes to thrive. If you're burnt out from achieving everything or tired of pretending it's all fine, this is for you. Because life should feel GOOD to live. New episodes weekly Follow @daniellecolley

  1. 1 day ago

    Breast Cancer Without A Lump and How It Became Cindy's Ugly Gift

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text Cindy had her hair cut off before chemo could take it. In her words, she took control. Like she always did.  She was a single mum of two who held everything together herself, until breast cancer asked her to do the one thing she’d never done: let other people hold it for her. Diagnosed with aggressive triple negative breast cancer in January 2025, after a first-ever mammogram and no lump, Cindy put her house on the market the next day.  She then called her whole community onto a Zoom and gave them a list. She calls it her ugly gift. This conversation is about cancer, but it’s really about control, asking for help, spirituality and what your body does when you stop listening.  You’ll also hear about a funeral letter left behind in a closet, a living funeral staged in a theatre, and a very unwise bleach job. 00:00 Teaser and welcome03:30 The nudge: cancer without a lump10:30 “No guarantees”: selling the house and “your body is your only work”14:00 Learning to ask: the community Zoom and Helping Hands19:30 The funeral letter and the one-woman show24:00 What the body was holding: epilepsy, people-pleasing and the heart space28:00 Space, trust and manifestation33:00 Hair, humour and the son with the shaver38:00 Gratitude, and what passes41:00 Thinking points and close Ket Takeaways Control and surrender can sit side by side. Cindy took charge of everything she could, then handed over everything she couldn’t.Asking for help clearly and specifically (what you need, who does what) is a skill, not a weakness.For years Cindy said “I’m fine” to minimise what she felt. Her body kept the record.Manifestation starts with paying attention to the quiet belief running underneath what you say you want.Whether it’s good or bad, it will pass. Nobody causes their own cancer, and this is one woman’s experience, not medical advice. RESOURCES Cindy’s website -⁠ Blissful Intuitive⁠Cindy's instagram - ⁠@blissfulintuitive⁠If you are going through cancer and need some support  - ⁠The McGrath Foundation⁠ Connect With Danielle  Website - ⁠daniellecolley.com.au⁠Insta - ⁠@iamdaniellecolley⁠

    Breast Cancer Without A Lump and How It Became Cindy's Ugly Gift

  2. 7 Oct

    Why Smart Women Stay In Abusive Relationships with psychologist, Faye Evans

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text Content note: This episode discusses domestic abuse, coercive control, threats and PTSD, and includes a brief reference to suicidal ideation.  Faye Evans was 17 when she met him.  He was a lecturer, 12 years older, at the university where she was studying psychology, and she was engaged by 18.  Over the years that followed, control arrived in small doses and dressed itself up as care: what she wore, what she read, who she saw, where her money went.  In this moving episode of Big Stuff, Faye tells Danielle how she disappeared inside that marriage, convinced the problem was her, and about the wedding day she wanted to run away and couldn't. Faye talks about the awakening that came after her second child was born, and what happened when she left: friends who closed their doors, a family divided, work contracts that vanished.  She tells the story of running away to Australia with her two children on a one-way ticket she kept secret, the threatening phone calls, and the PTSD that stayed in her body for a decade. Faye has been a psychologist for 30 years and is an EMDR therapist and the author of Soulful Simplicity (out now through Hardie Grant Publishing) Chapters -  00:00 Welcome01:30 Meeting him 09:00 Losing herself: gaslighting, self-blame and trying to be the "good wife"17:00 The wedding day she wanted to run, and why she stayed27:00 The awakening after her second child33:00 The doors closing: family, friends, work and money38:00 Shame, the search for meaning and the years of rebuilding41:00 Leaving for Australia and the PTSD that followed45:00 EMDR and healing49:00 Reauthoring the story and Faye's closing message Takeaways from this episode -  Control doesn't announce itself. Faye describes it arriving as advice about what to wear, what to read, which friends to see and how to manage money, always framed as help or love.Intelligence and training aren't protection. Faye says psychology gave her theory, but it didn't tell her what coercive behaviour feels like from the inside.Shame keeps people quiet. After a lot of gaslighting she came to believe that if the marriage failed, "it would be I failed."Leaving isn't the end of the story. Faye lost friends, income and support, and lived with hypervigilance and PTSD for around ten years.Your body keeps the record. EMDR helped Faye process what talking and understanding hadn't, and she now works as an EMDR therapist herself.You can reauthor the story. It happened to her, but it doesn't define who she is. Where to find Faye Evans -  Book: Soulful Simplicity: A Neuro-Spiritual Path to Living with Intention (Hardie Grant Media)Website: ⁠https://soulfulsimplicity.com.au/⁠LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/fayeevans/⁠Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/psychologist.faye.evans/⁠Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/psychologist_faye_evans/⁠ Support 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732, text 0458 737 732, or chat online at 1800respect.org.au (24/7). The number can appear on a phone bill, so call from a different phone if you can.Lifeline: 13 11 14Emergency: 000 Where to find Danielle:  Website - ⁠daniellecolley.com.au⁠ Instagram - ⁠@iamdaniellecolley⁠ Book - ⁠The Chocolate Bar Life, Hembury Books⁠ available wherever you buy your books online Thank you for being here. If anything in this conversation brings up big feelings, or highlights something happening in your own life, please reach out to the services above, to friends and family, or to us here at Big Stuff.

    Why Smart Women Stay In Abusive Relationships with psychologist, Faye Evans

  3. 30 Sept

    Davey Lloyd (The Bachelorette) on Addiction, Getting Sober & Learning Who He Is Without The Masks

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text On day one of filming The Bachelorette, Davey Lloyd walked into the mansion to meet Sam Frost off a three-day bender, running on no sleep, about to be the first man she'd ever meet.  Nine years later he'd be lying on a footpath, clinically dead, while his friends tried and failed to bring him back with CPR before the ambulance got there in time — and even that wasn't enough to stop him.  Davey is a former reality TV star, two years sober, and the author of a memoir about what it actually took to put that version of himself down for good. This isn't really a story about drugs. It's a story about performance — the version of yourself you build so nobody, including you, ever has to look underneath it. Danielle and Davey talk about undiagnosed ADHD, why the loudest person in the room is usually the most hurt, becoming a bully at school to feel seen, three overdoses, the morning he finally surrendered, and what it's taken to learn to cry, forgive himself, and let his parents back in. Chapters 0:00 — Cold open: The Bachelorette bender1:30 — Welcome and introduction3:00 — Life before The Bachelorette8:00 — The party persona and undiagnosed ADHD14:00 — "I didn't love myself at all" — where the pain came from21:00 — Becoming the bully: the root of the performance27:00 — Three overdoses and the night he surrendered34:00 — What healing actually looked like42:00 — Rebuilding trust with his parents47:00 — Learning to feel again51:00 — Writing Tin Man and the fear of being seen54:00 — Addiction isn't just drugs60:00 — Closing thoughts63:00 — Danielle's reflection: two thinking points68:00 — Outro and where to find Davey Key Takeaways Performance is armour. It protects you from being seen.Addiction stems from a lack of self-love.Addiction doesn't have to look like drugs. Phones, busyness, distraction can serve the exact same function.Rebuilding trust after you've hurt people you love takes years, and forgiving yourself is part of the work, not a reward at the end of it. FAQs How many times did Davey Lloyd overdose?Three times. The third time, his heart stopped — friends attempted CPR until paramedics arrived and revived him. What is Davey Lloyd's book, Tin Man, about?A memoir covering his years on reality TV, his addiction, and the eight-step framework he developed in recovery. Is Davey Lloyd still sober?Yes — two years sober at the time of this recording. Resources Pre-order his ebook today Tin Man: Why I Traded Sex, Drugs & Parties for Sobriety — available on ⁠Amazon⁠ You can find more of ⁠Davey on his Instagram page⁠ Find more Danielle on her website -  More from Danielle: ⁠daniellecolley.com.au⁠Or go and say hi on Instagram - ⁠@iamdaniellecolley⁠ or ⁠@bigstuffpodcast⁠ If this one landed for you, send it to someone who needs to hear it — you never know who's sitting in their own car right now, music cranked, not realising it yet.  Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and leave a comment — it genuinely helps the show find more ears.

    Davey Lloyd (The Bachelorette) on Addiction, Getting Sober & Learning Who He Is Without The Masks

  4. 27 Sept

    Life Balance Isn't Enough To Create A Meaningful Life. But This Will.

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text For years, Danielle thought life balance was the most important thing she had to teach. She wrote a book about it. She took it into keynotes and boardrooms across the country. And she wasn't wrong — the Chocolate Bar Life Theory has genuinely changed lives. But then her mum was given permission to end her life after 37 years with multiple sclerosis, and everything Danielle thought she knew shifted into something deeper.  In this season finale solo episode, Danielle shares the evolution of her thinking — from how do I fit more good things in to the question that actually matters: what makes a life worth living, knowing that it ends? This one is for anyone who is getting very good at a life they haven't consciously chosen. Chapters 00:00 — Introduction: Why Danielle is changing her message  03:30 — The Chocolate Bar Life Theory: work, rest and play explained  10:00 — What even the best version of balance doesn't answer  13:00 — The Mumdays: what happened when Danielle's mum ran out of time  19:30 — What her mum actually wanted at the end (it wasn't a bucket list)  23:00 — "We are all dying" — the keynote slide that changed the room  26:00 — The question that replaces "how do I balance my life"  28:30 — Two thinking points to take away Key Takeaways Life balance is essential — but it's the preschool version of a much bigger questionThe Chocolate Bar Life Theory (work, rest, play as nougat, caramel, chocolate) is a powerful framework for preventing burnout, but it assumes you already know what a good life looks likeWhen time is genuinely finite, the flashy bucket list stuff falls away fast — what remains is simpler and more importantWe live as if we have infinite time. We don't. That's not a reason to panic; it's a reason to get clearThe real question isn't how do I balance my life — it's what kind of life am I actually trying to buildFAQs What is the Chocolate Bar Life Theory? It's Danielle's framework for life balance, based on the Mars Bar — nougat (work and responsibility), caramel (rest and restoration), chocolate (play and pleasure). All three need to be present, not equal, for a satisfying life. She wrote about it in her book The Chocolate Bar Life. What are the Mumdays? The Mumdays are the weekly Monday visits Danielle had with her mum during the final months of her life, after her mum was granted permission for voluntary assisted dying. They became the basis for Danielle's upcoming book Mumdays, releasing March 2027. What is voluntary assisted dying? Voluntary assisted dying (VAD) is a legal process in Australia that allows eligible people with a terminal illness to choose the timing and manner of their death. Danielle's mum, who had lived with multiple sclerosis for 37 years, was granted this permission. Danielle speaks about this openly and with warmth. References & Links Danielle Colley — daniellecolley.com.au The Chocolate Bar Life- available on Amazon, Booktopia and wherever you buy your books Mumdays — coming March 2027 Instagram: @iamdaniellecolley If this episode landed for you, share it with someone who is running hard at a life they haven't stopped to question. And if you want to be the first to hear about Mumdays when it drops, get on Danielle's list at daniellecolley.com.au. Season 3 of Big Stuff is back in August. See you then.

    Life Balance Isn't Enough To Create A Meaningful Life. But This Will.

  5. 23 Sept

    She Left A 'Good' Marriage To Find Her Soul - Dr Toni Reilly

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text Dr Toni Reilly had a lovely enough husband. Sixteen years together, and not one single argument. By every measure, her marriage was fine — and she left anyway.  This episode was meant to be about SoulLife® Psychology, the framework Toni's spent two decades building.  Instead it became a deep, unfiltered conversation about intuition, mediumship, past lives, and what happens after we die.  Danielle and Toni go completely off script — and it's one of the most candid, curious conversations Big Stuff has had.  KEY TAKEAWAYS -  ●     A relationship can be genuinely good and still not be right for you.  ●     Self-awareness often starts with someone else naming what you can't see in yourself.  ●     SoulLife® Psychology reframes difficult experiences as "soul contracts" — not to excuse harm, but to find meaning on the other side of it. ●     You don't have to become a different person to explore this stuff.   FAQS What is SoulLife® Psychology? A framework developed by Dr Toni Reilly that combines traditional psychology with intuition, metaphysics and past-life work.  What is past life regression? A therapeutic technique, popularised by psychiatrist Dr Brian Weiss, that guides a person into a relaxedstate to recall experiences from past lives, with the goal of understanding and releasing patterns or fears in their current life. What are the five "bruises" or foundations in Toni's framework? Rejection, abandonment, betrayal, humiliation and injustice — each one shaping a different way a person processes the world and relates to others. Find more about Dr Toni Reilly and SoulLife Psychology -  ⁠Website ⁠ ⁠Instagram ⁠ References -  ●     ⁠Many Lives, Many Masters — Dr Brian Weiss — https://www.brianweiss.com⁠ ●     ⁠Arthur Findlay College, Stansted, UK — https://www.arthurfindlaycollege.org⁠ ●     ⁠David the Medium (Instagram) — https://www.instagram.com/davidthemedium⁠ Find more on Danielle ●      ⁠Danielle Colley website⁠ ●  Instagram - ⁠@iamdaniellecolley⁠  If this episode stretched you a little, share it with one person who might like it.  Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and drop a comment — it genuinely helps the show find more ears.  See you next time for more Big Stuff

    She Left A 'Good' Marriage To Find Her Soul - Dr Toni Reilly

  6. 16 Sept

    30 Years Obsessed With A Killer - Vikki Petraitis

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text Two weeks before a serial killer's parole hearing, a podcast dropped. Two million downloads later, his bid was denied — and Parliament changed the law so he could never apply again.  That's not the origin story of this episode's guest.  That's just another day for her. Vikki Petraitis has spent thirty years walking into the middle of other people's worst days — sitting with grieving families, hardened homicide detectives, and every crime scene in between — and turning it into fourteen true crime books, two Casefile Presents podcast series, and now a run of crime fiction being adapted for ABC and BBC as DUSTFALL.  In this episode, Danielle sits down with Vikki to find out how a primary school teacher ended up keeping a serial killer behind bars, why women are wired to consume true crime, and what thirty years of looking directly at the worst of humanity has taught her about the best of it.  What happened with Paul Denyer's parole bid? His first parole application, in 2023, was denied. In November of that year, Victorian Parliament passed a unanimous amendment to the Crimes Act specifically so he can never apply for parole again. Is Vikki Petraitis's fiction based on real cases? Not as direct retellings, but her Antigone Pollard crime novels (The Unbelieved and The Stolen) draw on patterns and injustices — low conviction rates, victim-blaming, workplace misogyny — that Vikki observed across thirty years of true crime reporting. Where can I find Vikki's books and podcasts? Her true crime books include The Frankston Murders and The Phillip Island Murder. Her Casefile Presents podcast series include The Frankston Murders and The Vanishing of Vivienne Cameron. Her crime fiction (The Unbelieved, The Stolen) is being adapted for ABC/BBC as DUSTFALL. Full links below. Where you can find Vikki Petraitis -  Website - ⁠vikkipetraitis.com.au⁠ ⁠Instagram: @vikkipetraitis⁠ ⁠Facebook: Vikki Petraitis - Crime Writer⁠ Vikki's Books mentioned: The Frankston Murders: 25 Years On The Phillip Island Murder The Unbelieved The Stolen Vikki's Podcasts mentioned:  The Frankston Murders (Casefile Presents) The Vanishing of Vivienne Cameron (Casefile Presents) The Unthinkable (with Emily Webb). Find more Danielle Colley -  Website - ⁠daniellecolley.com.au⁠  Instagram - ⁠@iamdaniellecolley⁠ Or get in touch at bigstuffpodcast@gmail.com Chapters 0:00  Two million downloads and a law that changed 1:30  From primary school teacher to true crime writer 5:00  The case that started it all  10:00  Why women read true crime 14:00  Inside The Frankston Murders 18:00  Humanising the victims 20:30  The psychology of manipulation 24:00  The fight to keep a serial killer behind bars  28:00  How a podcast and a community changed the law 31:00  From true crime to fiction  35:00  Turning real-world misogyny into crime fiction 39:00  The best and worst of humanity  43:00  Close — two thinking points If this episode got under your skin the way it got under ours, send it to one person who'd get something out of it.  Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and drop a comment or review — it genuinely helps this show reach more ears.

    30 Years Obsessed With A Killer - Vikki Petraitis

  7. 9 Sept

    What Nobody Warns You About Quitting Alcohol

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text So many people on social media rave that quitting alcohol was the best thing they ever did. Danielle is nine months sober and here to tell you that's not quite her story.  In this solo How Are You Really? episode, she gets honest about what actually changes when you stop drinking — and what doesn't — including the identity hit of no longer being "the fun one," the physical response she now gets around drunk people, and the family history that surfaced once the alcohol was gone. This isn't a highlight reel. It's sleep, skin, and clarity on one side, and grief, social awkwardness, and an unresolved "is this forever?" on the other.  Danielle also opens up about how quitting has impacted her marriage — a topic she's dedicating a full episode to soon. Chapters  0:00 — Real Talk : Why quitting alcohol isn't "the best thing I've ever done" 1:15 — The slow process of quitting4:00 — "You're not fun anymore" 8:00 — What has replaced cutting loose 11:00 — The physical/nervous-system response she now has around booze14:00 — Family history of boozing and what has surfaced18:00 — What actually changed physically 21:30 — Sober friendships 24:00 — Letting go of the "party girl" identity27:00 — Not being able to medicate feelings 30:00 — Clarity, intuition, and whether she recommends it32:00 — Is this forever? 34:00 — Closing thoughts + two questions for youKey Takeaways Quitting alcohol isn't a clean before/after — at 8.5 months, Danielle still has moments of wanting a drink, and that's normal.The hardest part isn't physical — it's identity. Losing the "fun" or "party girl" label brings up real grief and social friction.Alcohol had been quietly numbing feelings around her dad's death, her divorce, and early solo parenting — sobriety means feeling all of it, raw.Sleep and skin improved noticeably; weight didn't move the way she expected.This is being held as an ongoing experiment, not a forever decision — and that's okay.Thinking Points  What part of your journey with alcohol are you at right now — is your drinking habitual or intentional?What are your own assumptions about people who don't drink — and where do you think those came from?Resources & References Mentioned Previous Big Stuff episode  - ⁠The Elephant In The Wine Glass⁠Previous Big Stuff episode - ⁠Why You Can't Sleep In Perimenopause⁠Huberman Lab - What Alcohol Does To Your Brain, Body and Health Thanks for listening to this episode of Big Stuff podcast. If it landed for you, share it with one person who needs it, drop a comment, and subscribe so you never miss an episode. Find out more about Danielle at daniellecolley.com.au.

    What Nobody Warns You About Quitting Alcohol

  8. 2 Sept

    What 500 Lunches With Strangers Taught an Introvert About Confidence

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text What happens if an introvert who avoids parties decides, on purpose, to have lunch with 500 total strangers? Nick Bendel found out — one uncomfortable lunch at a time, over six years. In this conversation, Nick and Danielle talk about the lunch that left him speechless, the one where a stranger cried in the first twenty minutes, the one that ended with him salsa dancing against his will — and what all of it taught him about confidence, connection, and the stories we tell ourselves about how we're being perceived. This one will change how you think about the parties, meetings, and rooms you've been avoiding. Key Takeaways: Confidence doesn't come before the brave thing — it shows up after, once you've already done it.Introverts aren't bad at connection. Most of them are just bad at the loud, fast, "work the room" version of networking nobody actually enjoys.The insecurities you're sure everyone can see are almost always invisible to them — they're too busy managing their own.Trust isn't built by being interesting. It's built by being genuinely interested in the person in front of you.Social courage is a muscle, not a personality trait — small, repeated, uncomfortable actions build it, and it weakens if you stop using it.FAQs: What is "social courage"? Nick's term for doing something in a social setting despite the fear of judgement, rejection, or embarrassment — choosing exposure over avoidance, before you feel ready.How did Nick actually find 500 strangers to have lunch with? Almost entirely cold messages on LinkedIn, plus a handful of emails, cold calls, and introductions — including one memorable Google-stalking mission to track down a hostage negotiator.Is this really a book about networking? Not in the traditional sense — it's less about building a contact list and more about what happens to your confidence and self-understanding when you deliberately put yourself in front of strangers, again and again. 00:00 – The introvert/extrovert misconception 02:00 – Why Nick decided to have lunch with 500 strangers 06:00 – Lunch #1: flying to Melbourne to meet Kaley Chu 10:30 – Rebranding "I'm not good at peopling" 18:00 – The most awkward lunch he ever had 21:00 –  How he built rapport  31:30 – How six years of honesty rewired him 33:30 – The Gay Boxing World Championships 42:00 – The real secret to connection 45:30 – Social courage as a muscle you have to keep exercising 52:00 – What 500 different lives taught him about being human 56:30 – The salsa dancing story 59:30 – What he'd say to anyone stuck on the sidelines 61:00 – Closing thoughtsReferences & Links: Nick's book: The 500 Lunches Effect (Publish Central, $34.95)Nick Bendel websiteNick's LinkedIn profileSee more Danielle -  daniellecolley.com.auPodcast contact: bigstuffpod@gmail.comCall to Action: Grab a copy of The 500 Lunches Effect, and this week, pick one person you've been meaning to reach out to — and send the message.

    What 500 Lunches With Strangers Taught an Introvert About Confidence
See All (55)

5
out of 5
8 Ratings

About

You know who's going through BIG STUFF? Literally everyone. But it's how you handle it that makes the difference.  Award-winning author and life coach Danielle Colley gets real about the relentless expectations we put on ourselves, the comparison trap, and the gap between how life looks and how it actually feels. For ambitious women who may be crushing their goals but are feeling crushed by them. Conversations that matter. A little advice, a little inspiration, and a lot of humanness. No toxic positivity - just raw honesty about what it really takes to thrive. If you're burnt out from achieving everything or tired of pretending it's all fine, this is for you. Because life should feel GOOD to live. New episodes weekly Follow @daniellecolley

Information

  • Creator
    Danielle Colley
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    55
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Big Stuff With Danielle Colley
  • Show Website
    Big Stuff With Danielle Colley

You Might Also Like