98 episodes

“Build your planet, keep in line… also clones."


Stellar Firma is a weekly Science Fiction, Comedy podcast following the misadventures of Stellar Firma Ltd.'s highest born but lowest achieving planetary designer Trexel Geistman and his bewildered clone assistant David 7. Join them each episode as they attempt to take listener submissions and craft them into the galaxy's most luxurious, most expensive and most questionably designed bespoke planets.
However, with Trexel's corporate shark of a line manager Hartro Piltz breathing down their necks and I.M.O.G.E.N., the station's omnipresent and omniinvasive stationwide A.I. monitoring those necks to within 3 decimal places, they'll be lucky to make it a week before being slurried and recycled into raw human resources.


New episodes every Friday!


For more information, visit www.rustyquill.com

Stellar Firma Rusty Quill

    • Comedy
    • 5.0 • 38 Ratings

“Build your planet, keep in line… also clones."


Stellar Firma is a weekly Science Fiction, Comedy podcast following the misadventures of Stellar Firma Ltd.'s highest born but lowest achieving planetary designer Trexel Geistman and his bewildered clone assistant David 7. Join them each episode as they attempt to take listener submissions and craft them into the galaxy's most luxurious, most expensive and most questionably designed bespoke planets.
However, with Trexel's corporate shark of a line manager Hartro Piltz breathing down their necks and I.M.O.G.E.N., the station's omnipresent and omniinvasive stationwide A.I. monitoring those necks to within 3 decimal places, they'll be lucky to make it a week before being slurried and recycled into raw human resources.


New episodes every Friday!


For more information, visit www.rustyquill.com

    STL 58 - Ecology and External Assistance

    STL 58 - Ecology and External Assistance

    Episode 58 - Ecology and External Assistance

    The client, Goral Throgmar of the Construct-A-Creature corporation, is requesting legal assistance due to mounting complaints against them for creating “monstrosities” that are “killing people”. The bailiffs are on the way to take their eyes.

    Management Consultants’ advice: lie about your address, reframe the debate, corporate bonding, monstrosity, be a turgid plant, utilise the googly eyes, hot slap pyramid.

    Content Warning for:
    - Emotional abuse
    - Bullying/taunting
    - Shouting
    - Emotional manipulation & gaslighting
    - Discussions of: body horror (including animal)
    - Mentions of: murder, alcohol consumption, plastic surgery, animal attack, eye trauma (threatened), physical violence, injury, arson.

    Special thanks to Adam Honeyman for this episode's Brief Submission and this week's Patrons: Katie McLean, incorrigible_worksop, Sam Lueke, Delta Psy, Tired Naiad, Yael Zombie, Elizabeth Almasy, Angelika Agbayani, David Niemczyk, Harmoni Kauffman, Layne Woodward, Jacc, N, Rahlly, Michelle Scarcella, connanro, Diego Henriquez, Erica, Julie Fricker, apthemagician, Zacharias Buchanan, Kathryn Sullivan, LYJun, Jordan Patton, Sophia Stasevic, Dominic Moffchiedoytiss, Liz McAnder, Juliana Scherzer, Jojoiter, 104 Tarsiers, Jara257, kendal, Kiwisheep, Renata, Devin Taylor, Emily Tucker, I should be asleep, melekinh, Kaley Bales, Vincent & Amelia, Emma Baker, Emily, here's how Web!Martin can still win, TheFool, Liv Stormborn, Nicole Just Kidding, Marika Rainey, Emily Diaz, Avah Willard, Anabel (latt).

    If you'd like to join them be sure to visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill.

    Created by Tim Meredith and Ben Meredith
    Produced by Katie Seaton
    Executive Producer Alexander J Newall

    Performances:
    I.M.O.G.E.N: Imogen Harris
    David 7: Ben Meredith
    Trexel Geistman: Tim Meredith
    Enola: Helen Gould

    Editing: Maddy Searle
    Music: Samuel DF Jones
    Artwork: Anika Khan
    Mastering: Jeffrey Nils Gardner

    Featured SFX by FunWithSound, cabaret, Landau00, sagetyrtle, mickdow & previously credited artists via freesound.org.

    Subscribe using your podcast software of choice or by visiting www.rustyquill.com/subscribe and be sure to rate and review us online; it really helps us spread across the galaxy.

    Check out our merchandise, available at https://www.redbubble.com/people/RustyQuill/shop and https://www.teepublic.com/stores/rusty-quill.

    Join our community:
    WEBSITE: www.rustyquill.com
    FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/therustyquill/
    TWITTER: @therustyquill
    REDDIT: www.reddit.com/r/RustyQuill/
    DISCORD: https://www.discord.gg/rustyquill
    EMAIL: mail@rustyquill.com

    Stellar Firma is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill Ltd. and Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International Licence.
     
    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 25 min
    STL 57 - Histrionics and High-Handedness

    STL 57 - Histrionics and High-Handedness

    Episode 57 - Histrionics and High-Handedness

    The client, Zeith Fel, is looking for ideas for new productions for The Diabolical Flotilla Actors’ Guild to tour in the upcoming season. She has found that audiences are dwindling for their tours across the galaxy (entirely unconnected to the entirely justifiable destructive actions of Stellar Firma) and are in need of a hit.

    Management Consultants’ advice: a roster of updated “classics”, react to the pretend, pretend real knives, historical re-enactment, shattered bums, execute the fool, sexy wedding, the end?

    Content Warning for:
    - Emotional abuse
    - Bullying/taunting
    - Innuendo
    - Shouting
    - Knives & self-injury (stabbing, including SFX)
    - Mentions of: cults, manipulation & gaslighting, childhood trauma, mind-altering substances, mass mortality & environmental apocalypse, executions & gun violence.

    Special thanks to vi for this episode's Brief Submission and this week's Patrons: Emmie Knobloch, ludmila schmidt, Matt1344, C-J Saunders, Myshe, Katie Stonestreet, Zoe Payne, Rebecca Field, Taga, Tamsin Myers, Conrad Schaffer Vignati, Jelka Dirksen, sleepy pigeon, Leona Maron, mo, officialspec, Maria x Zhao, Eb Mitchell, Isabel Taylor, cecilfae, Heather Cartwright, Zoe Prescott, Grace Holsten, Jessica Willmore, Beth Carter, Sarah, Null Strolight, Crystal Wang, Noah S Brown, Laura A., Dave, Trinkit, it is a mystery, Ashley S., Anna Laurie, Corina Bantum, flipwizardmcgay, Alexi Bailey, Mikki S., Emma Scrivens., Ebeth, Jordan Whiteley, Jane, Vee, Katherine Carlsrud, Wizard Perry, Abigail Bokun, Leanne Payson, MAX, Ingeborg Pedersen.

    If you'd like to join them, be sure to visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill.

    Created by Tim Meredith and Ben Meredith
    Produced by Katie Seaton
    Executive Producer Alexander J Newall

    Performances:
    I.M.O.G.E.N: Imogen Harris
    David 7: Ben Meredith
    Trexel Geistman: Tim Meredith
    No 1: Amy Dickinson
    No 48: Rachel Meredith

    Editing: Maddy Searle and Michelle Snow
    Music: Samuel DF Jones
    Artwork: Anika Khan
    Mastering: Jeffrey Nils Gardner

    Featured SFX:
    johnvand, FunWithSound, artefakt, geodylabs, 16FPanskaVyskocil_Tom, Benboncan, giddster, rsellick, Podcapocalipsis & previously credited artists via freesound.org. Original Foley by Maddy Searle.

    Subscribe using your podcast software of choice or by visiting www.rustyquill.com/subscribe and be sure to rate and review us online; it really helps us spread across the galaxy.

    Check out our merchandise, available at https://www.redbubble.com/people/RustyQuill/shop and https://www.teepublic.com/stores/rusty-quill.


    Join our community:
    WEBSITE: www.rustyquill.com
    FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/therustyquill/
    TWITTER: @therustyquill
    REDDIT: www.reddit.com/r/RustyQuill/
    DISCORD: https://www.discord.gg/rustyquill
    EMAIL: mail@rustyquill.com


    Stellar Firma is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill Ltd. and Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International Licence.
     
    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 28 min
    STL 56 - Proselytising and (some) Progress

    STL 56 - Proselytising and (some) Progress

    Episode 56 - Proselytising and (some) Progress

    The client, The Gademy Academy For Scholarly Hollers, are looking for budget and spending advice (ideally yelled) to help with their financial difficulties.

    Management Consultants’ advice: Not being a weak necked fool; aggressively loud fonts; traditional organic unassisted yelling; more spartinacity; unclear pamphlets; misleading signs.

    Content Warning for:
    Emotional Abuse
    Bullying/Taunting
    Shouting
    Innuendo
    Mentions of: cults, existential crisis, attempted murder, blood, bombs, food, arson, threats of violence, alcoholism, death threats.

    Special thanks to Fleuranna for this episode's Brief Submission and this week's Patrons: Ron Dempsey, Ashlee Coles, Cassafrassaian, Pawpotato, Inga Iversen, Grace Tallman, mikey reid-cain, Francesca Monti, Bailey Moore, Katie Dibb, Algie, Julia R., skeetpost, Aline Bischof, Ilse van der Kemp, Valerie Sizemore, Karnessa, quinnntastic, Erin Kemmery, Ldsz, Ciara McGuigan, Danielle Rutkowski, Angel, Sydney Wood, Kaylee Rowena, Ania Trzoch, Murrey uwu, Jay, xpityx, Seb Ponce, Grace Francese, Jemma A., Alexander Nicholas, Bridget Beatty, S Pollock, Basil, Kara Somberg, Jess Marie, Binthibub, Stephanie Anne Sorter, Charlie, Bailey Wind, Tanya Aingeal, Charlotte Hassell, Eli, Maia Cousins, Kris Tuohy, KristinC.

    If you'd like to join them be sure to visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill.

    Created by Tim Meredith and Ben Meredith
    Produced by Katie Seaton
    Executive Producer Alexander J Newall

    Performances:
    I.M.O.G.E.N: Imogen Harris
    David 7: Ben Meredith
    Trexel Geistman: Tim Meredith

    Editing: Maddy Searle
    Music: Samuel DF Jones
    Artwork: Anika Khan
    Mastering: Jeffrey Nils Gardner

    Featured SFX: agaxly, Trollarch2, 16FPanskaVyskocil_Tom, jawbutch, UnplugTheFridge, Inspector J & previously credited artists via freesound.org. Original Foley by Maddy Searle.

    Subscribe using your podcast software of choice or by visiting www.rustyquill.com/subscribe and be sure to rate and review us online; it really helps us spread across the galaxy.

    Check out our merchandise, available at https://www.redbubble.com/people/RustyQuill/shop and https://www.teepublic.com/stores/rusty-quill.

    Join our community:
    WEBSITE: www.rustyquill.com
    FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/therustyquill/
    TWITTER: @therustyquill
    REDDIT: www.reddit.com/r/RustyQuill/
    DISCORD: https://discord.gg/KckTv8y
    EMAIL: mail@rustyquill.com

    Stellar Firma is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill Ltd. and Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International Licence.
     
    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 26 min
    STL 55 - Defiance and Defection

    STL 55 - Defiance and Defection

    Episode 55 - Defiance and Defection

    Management Consultancy Review.

    Line Manager Hartro Piltz to asses initial consultancy efforts, largely from bed for what can only be assumed to be efficiency reasons. Bill for destruction of celebratory sparkling slurry to be applied to Line Manager’s expense account.

    Content Warning for:
    Emotional Abuse
    Bullying/Taunting
    Alcohol & Alcohol consumption
    Innuendo
    Unhealthy relationships
    Discussions of: systemic oppression, violence, death
    Mentions of: existential crisis, delusions, drug use, blood, guns, attempted murder, death threats, knives, shouting, fainting, smoking.

    Special thanks to this week's Patrons: Jessica Specht, Natalie Logan, Emily Simmons, Paige Morgan, Clarissa Olivares, Lana Roberts, Emma, Rhiannon Thomas Bourne, Malibustacy, Regan Sanders, Christina, Sir Prahlegod, Trixie McGee, A Brain In A Bucket, Esther Phillips, Annie Shoes, Natasha Tomecek, Maglor, Saturn '- Lynnette, Amaranta Petty, Allison Perrone, Ari Shenanigans, PumkinMilk, McKensie Schepers, Anneka V. Brighton, Jasmine Zeelfreund, Ludo, Marguerite Coles, Katharine Forman, hellotrickster, Riley Alexandre, Rose Johnson, reubenpax, what if you were defenseless, Tara, Biff, The Thing Lurking In The Dirt Under The Streets Of Alexandria, Sarah Anderson, [tips fedora] J'archivist, logan austin, Jem strongeststars Malak, OnaDacora, alex, skyberia, Gabby Figueroa, Zoe Wright, Charlie Morgan Reed, Heather, Nebula Wood, Gillis Lowry and Taylor Jackson.

    If you'd like to join them, be sure to visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill.

    Created by Tim Meredith and Ben Meredith
    Produced by Katie Seaton
    Executive Producer Alexander J Newall

    Performances:
    I.M.O.G.E.N: Imogen Harris
    David 7: Ben Meredith
    Hartro Piltz: Jenny Haufek
    Trexel Geistman: Tim Meredith

    Editing: Maddy Searle
    Music: Samuel DF Jones
    Artwork: Anika Khan
    Mastering: Jeffrey Nils Gardner

    Featured SFX: Yuval, misjoc, SpliceSound, mgamabile, vovere, ZoviPoland & previously credited artists via freesound.org.

    Additional music: Newer Wave by Kevin MacLeod
    Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/7016-newer-wave
    License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

    Subscribe using your podcast software of choice or by visiting www.rustyquill.com/subscribe and be sure to rate and review us online; it really helps us spread across the galaxy.

    Check out our merchandise, available at https://www.redbubble.com/people/RustyQuill/shop and https://www.teepublic.com/stores/rusty-quill.

    Join our community:
    WEBSITE: www.rustyquill.com
    FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/therustyquill/
    TWITTER: @therustyquill
    REDDIT: www.reddit.com/r/RustyQuill/
    DISCORD: https://discord.gg/KckTv8y
    EMAIL: mail@rustyquill.com

    Stellar Firma is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill Ltd. and Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International Licence.
     
    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 27 min
    Cabaret Night at the Cosmic Lounge: Free Time Man

    Cabaret Night at the Cosmic Lounge: Free Time Man

    Free Time Man

    This one's for all the haters who are out there saying that I’ve got,
    Well, I‘ve not got much on, but you know I'm alright,
    I’ve got stuff… I'm fine

    Up in the morning, find a clean shirt,
    cuppa hot slurry, out to work
    Maintenance, that's the game I’m playing,
    mediocrity that's how I'm swayin’
    Keepin’ these facilities clean and right,
    simulated dawn, simulated night
    Things gumming up the works there in a flash,
    recycle unit bust, you don’t need that
    Detritus strewn all over this place,
    here a leg, there a face
    The body horror don’t bother me,
    I'm here to do a job you see
    You'd think that that would cause me woe
    You’d think that would stem my flow
    When it hits the fan, I've got my plan
    I'm a free time man, watch me go

    Put on a holovid and kick back
    I’m a free time man
    See a friend and have a bit of a laugh
    I’m a free time man
    Read a book, maybe a chapter or two
    I’m a free time man
    Travel round this station take in the view
    I’m a free time man
    Um, watch another holovid if there’s one
    I’m a free time man
    See a different friend, I hope that they’re fun
    I’m a free time man
    Oh no I’ve read this book before
    I’m a free time man
    They won’t let me travel to certain floors
    I’m a free time man

    Evening time in the Cosmic Lounge,
    feeling good just got a round
    There's this new cat at the table,
    won't shut up, don't think he’s able
    His monologue is upsetting the room,
    talking ‘bout his love for a fish and a broom
    The regulars they don’t like that,
    Sweepy Anne’s still mourning her sprat
    It’s my free time but just this once,
    I’ll lent a hand to a needy dunce
    Saying Harry's the name, lay it on me friend,
    now stuck in a nightmare that’ll never end
    I did what I now regret,
    I talked him off his parapet
    But he won't go,
    Won't take no,
    Ruin all my flow like a strait jacket

    Stole all my holovids won't give them back
    Former free time man
    My friends now just point at me and laugh
    Former free time man
    No books for me, he burnt them too
    Former free time man
    Everywhere on this station he’s spoiling my view
    Former free time man
    It feels like I'm never alone
    Former free time man
    Except the 20 minutes he’s with his clone
    Former free time man
    He’s faked both of our deaths twice
    Former free time man
    Why is there no tool to reset my life?
    Former free time man

    So you see, like, to the haters, I’ve got, like, a lot on,
    like you know, too much. I wish I could sort of drop,
    drop one of the things. Anyway... yep

    Artists

    Dr. Beaver: Band Leader + Synths + Bass
    JJ Perry: Additional Music, Production, Mixing and Mastering
    Simon Plotkin: Vocals and Lyrics
    Tim Meredith: Music and Lyrics

    Special thanks to Amy Dickinson for advice and support.

    “Free Time Man” is from the album “Cabaret Night at the Cosmic Lounge.” © Rusty Quill 2020

    If you would like to own the full album, consider becoming a Patron of Rusty Quill! All Patrons will receive a digipack, which includes dramatic sketches exclusive to the album and comes with special artwork byVeraRaeArt. Visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill to find out more.

    Stellar Firma is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill under a Creative Commons Attribution NonCommercial Sharealike 4.0 International Licence. The song "Free Time Man" is the Copyrighted property of Rusty Quill Ltd.
     
    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 3 min
    Cabaret Night at the Cosmic Lounge: Survive You

    Cabaret Night at the Cosmic Lounge: Survive You

    Survive You

    I was once a bright young thing, on my way, straight to the top
    Then suddenly you fell in my way like a drunken, overprivileged roadblock
    What did I do to deserve this constant stream of ignominy?
    All I ever wanted to do was serve the Board, faithfully
    I get blamed for the mistakes you make, they bounce off you and stick to me
    But it won’t always be this way, just you wait, you will see

    I will survive you, I've just got to weather the storm
    I’ll thrive without you, I’ll be here long after you've gone

    I will, survive, I will survive you
    I will, survive, I will survive you

    If you were another employee, you’d be dead and gone and out of my way
    You're just coasting on the Geistman name, a family tree that's withered away
    The way you act makes life expectancies around you real bleak
    Unless that David’s a miracle worker, they’ll be dead in a week

    Gonna keep you out the Cosmic Lounge, until you learn
    Gonna keep puttin’ feet in your mouth, until you learn

    I will survive you, I've just got to weather the storm
    I’ll thrive without you, I’ll be here long after you've gone

    I will, survive, I will survive you
    I will, survive, I will survive you

    You'll be dead, and I’ll be alive, I will survive, I will survive x4

    (fading out)

    Artists

    Dr. Beaver: Band Leader, Bass, Additional Guitars
    JJ Perry: Guitar, Production, Mixing and Mastering, Arrangement and Additional Music
    Jenny Haufek: Vocals
    Tim Meredith: Music and Lyrics

    Special thanks to Amy Dickinson for advice and support.

    “Survive You” is from the album “Cabaret Night at the Cosmic Lounge”. © Rusty Quill 2020

    If you would like to own the full album, consider becoming a Patron of Rusty Quill! All Patrons will receive a digipack, which includes dramatic sketches exclusive to the album and comes with special artwork by VeraRaeArt. Visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill to find out more.

    Stellar Firma is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill under a Creative Commons Attribution NonCommercial Sharealike 4.0 International Licence. The song "Survive You" is the Copyrighted property of Rusty Quill Ltd.
     
    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 3 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
38 Ratings

38 Ratings

TheOtherBus ,

Amazing

Lastest episode had me crying with laughter. Truly brilliant how the improv and overarching plot are weaved together for a glorious sci fi comedy experience, well worth a listen

thebestmeilz ,

Brilliant

absolutely brilliant. there’s no accurate way to describe how beautifully chaotic the whole thing is. just brilliant.

jazznicol ,

ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!! Improv at its best!

ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!! Improv at its best! Think Douglas Adams. Ben and Tim are a perfect duo! You won’t regret giving it a go!

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