Suddenly 30 (something*)

Lucy and Alysse
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  • Parenting
  • Updated Weekly

“Suddenly Thirty (Something)” is a no-BS, real-talk podcast hosted by two women, Lucy and Alysse, navigating the messy middle ground of mid-thirties life. Each week, we dive into unscripted, unfiltered conversations about family, aging, mental health, re-parenting, beauty standards, and deconstructing everything 20-year-old us thought we'd have figured out by now. If you’re over the polished version of adulthood and ready to embrace the real — welcome. You’ve found your people. Reserve the right to change our mind

Episodes

  1. 4 days ago

    Gender Disappointment Is Real (And No One Talks About It)

    Welcome back to Suddenly 30 Something — the podcast for women navigating their 30s, motherhood, identity shifts, relationships, and the emotional rollercoaster no one properly prepares you for. Hosted by Alysse & Lucy, we dive into honest, unfiltered conversations about parenting, mental load, postpartum experiences, fertility, and the messy reality of modern motherhood — with plenty of laughs along the way. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, conflicted, or not quite like yourself… this is your place. This Week’s Episode This week we’re unpacking a topic that’s often hidden behind guilt and silence: Gender disappointment. Yep. We’re going there. The thoughts you don’t say out loud. The feelings that don’t match the Pinterest version of motherhood. The grief, confusion, and “why do I feel like this?” moment. And before you come for us — both of us have lived it. What We Talk About… What gender disappointment actually feels like • The internal conflict of loving your baby… but grieving something else • Why it feels like loss (even when you “should” feel grateful) • The shame that stops women from talking about it “It doesn’t make logical sense… but it feels really real.” Expectation vs reality (Alysse vs Lucy) • Alysse: fully convinced she was having a girl • Lucy: adamant she only wanted boys • Both: absolutely humbled by reality “We both had a story in our heads… and it didn’t go to plan.” The grief no one prepares you for • Mourning the parenting experience you imagined • Losing the identity you thought you’d step into • Re parenting, healing, and rewriting your narrative Why gender disappointment happens This isn’t about pink vs blue. It runs deeper: • Childhood conditioning • Family dynamics + expectations • Control (or lack of it) • Trauma, healing, and wanting to “do it differently” • Identity as a mother Postpartum emotions & delayed bonding • Not feeling instantly “in love” (and why that’s more common than you think) • Hormones + birth trauma + expectations colliding • The moment it finally clicked “I knew I loved him… but I wasn’t in love yet.” The plot twist: your child is your teacher • Raising emotionally aware boys • Having more empathy for men (didn’t expect that one) • Realising your kid brings lessons you didn’t plan for “I think I got this child because I needed to learn something.” Gender reveals: fun, pressure, or pure performance? • Why we really do them • Filming reactions in real time • Social media vs real emotion • Are we doing it for us… or for everyone else? Why This Episode Matters Because not every part of motherhood is magical. Because conflicting emotions can coexist. Because honesty > perfection. And because more women need to hear: you’re not broken for feeling this way. If This Episode Hit Home Follow, subscribe, rate, or share with a friend who needs to hear: “You’re not the only one.” It helps more women find these conversations — and feel a little less alone in the process.

    47 min

  2. 17 May

    People Pleasing, Boundaries & Accidentally Becoming P&C President

    Welcome back to another chaotic, cosy, laugh‑til‑you‑snort episode of Suddenly 30 Something — the podcast where two thirty‑something women (Alysse & Lucy) unpack life, motherhood, identity, mental load, and all the messy bits in between… with a margarita always on standby. This week, we dive deep into a topic that hits every recovering good girl right in the chest: 👉 People pleasing. Why we do it. How it shapes us. And how the hell we stop. And yes… Lucy walked into a P&C meeting and walked out PRESIDENT. So buckle up. What We Talk About This Week A warm, funny, vulnerable conversation about: Why women become people pleasers Being raised to be the “good girl” and not rock the boat. “I made decisions to make my parents happy… to fit the mould.”The fear of disappointing others — especially parents, partners, in‑laws, and other mums.The internal pressure to be capable, easygoing, low‑maintenance, and superwoman. The mental load + resentment cycle Saying yes to everything → burnout → tears in the kitchen → “Why is my life so hard?”The internal reward loop: “I get that dopamine hit… it feels like the right thing to do.”The dark side: resentment, overwhelm, and feeling invisible. Lucy vs Alysse: Two VERY different people‑pleasing styles Lucy: “Saying NO gives me a dopamine hit.”Alysse: “Saying NO feels like conflict… even when it isn’t.”Why some of us crumble at the slightest pushback.Why others say no, turn their phone off, and deal with the fallout later. Where people‑pleasing comes from Childhood conditioningFamily dynamicsRelationship patternsFear of abandonmentWanting to be liked at all costs “I’ve always wanted to be liked at the detriment of who I am.” How to break the cycle (thanks, ChatGPT) Alysse literally asked ChatGPT how to stop people pleasing. It told her to: Pause before answeringUse neutral boundariesStop over‑explainingLet people be mildly disappointed “Discomfort isn’t dangerous.”Did she like these tips? Some yes. Some no. But the pause? Life‑changing. The Superwoman Complex The belief that “If I don’t do it, who will?”The pressure to juggle motherhood, work, relationships, school commitments, and self‑care.Why women burn out after birth and suddenly start 3 businesses. “I started like three businesses postpartum… then burned out.” The Chaos You Can Expect Lucy becoming P&C President because no one else put their hand up.Alysse cancelling a pregnancy circle because she was sick and refusing to infect pregnant mums.Both hosts realising they need therapy.Alysse’s mum crying over dog‑related boundaries.The “Pinterest house” that currently looks like chaos.Book club, cut flowers, and dopamine‑decorating. This Week’s SOS (Suggestion, Obsession, Self‑Care) Alysse Suggestion: Travel with your kids — it’s chaotic but magical.Obsession: @michaelahenson’s Substack for seasonal whole‑food meal plans.Self‑Care: Saying NO (even when it feels terrifying).Lucy Suggestion: Put cut flowers or eucalyptus in your home — instant joy.Obsession: Eclectic photo frames for a dopamine‑decor gallery wall.Self‑Care: Book club with wine at kids bedtime. Enough said. If You Loved This Episode… Please follow, subscribe, rate, or share with a friend who says yes too often. It helps our little podcast reach more women who need these conversations.

    52 min
  3. Default Parent Energy (aka why are we the human family skylight calendar?)

    19 Apr

    Default Parent Energy (aka why are we the human family skylight calendar?)

    Default parenting is real — and exhausting. In this episode of Suddenly 30 Something, we unpack the mental load, invisible labour, and how to rebalance parenting without losing your mind (or your relationship). Default parenting — you know... where you somehow became the CEO of literally everything child-related without a formal job offer. From remembering library day and packing snacks to knowing everyone’s shoe size and when the next birthday party RSVP is due… if this sounds familiar, you might be the default parent. We unpack: Why mums so often fall into this role (hi, societal conditioning 👋)The mental load no one sees but you feel 24/7How “just tell me what to do” somehow becomes another taskIt’s not just about doing more — it’s about thinking about everything, all the time. Signs You’re the Default Parent. If you know, you know… but just in case: You’re the keeper of all schedules, forms, and random school theme daysYou carry the emotional load (who needs new shoes, who’s struggling, who has a cough brewing)You feel like the household project manager… without the salary or lunch breakYou’re delegating tasks instead of sharing responsibility This episode is your reminder that you don’t have to carry it all alone. Please follow along on instagram and reach out via DM. It would mean the world to us if you comment, like or subscribe to our podcast. It doesn't cost anything but helps us SOOO much :)

    1hr 1min
  4. Part 2- Sex After Kids: Why It Changes (and How to Get It Back)

    12 Apr

    Part 2- Sex After Kids: Why It Changes (and How to Get It Back)

    If Part 1 was the “omg same”… this is the “okay but what do we do about it?” There was sooo much to unpack in our sex chat, this is part 2 (go back and listen to part 1!!)  In Part 2 of this very real, slightly unhinged, and way too relatable conversation, Alysse and Lucy go even deeper into what’s actually going on when your sex life changes after kids. Because spoiler:👉 it’s not just about libido… it’s about everything underneath it. From resentment and mental load to feeling touched out and completely disconnected — we’re unpacking the real reasons intimacy can feel so hard in this season of life… and what actually starts to shift it. Let’s be honest… sex after kids hits different 😅 In this very real, slightly chaotic, and wildly relatable episode of Suddenly 30 Something, Alysse and Lucy are talking about the thing everyone is thinking about but not actually saying out loud: What the hell happens to your sex life after kids? From spontaneous, carefree intimacy… to scheduling it between Bluey episodes and bedtime battles — we’re unpacking the before vs after kids reality of sex, connection, and keeping your relationship alive when you’re running on zero sleep and snacks. This episode is your reminder that: You’re not broken if your sex drive has changedYou’re not alone if intimacy feels harderAnd no, you’re definitely not the only one choosing sleep over sex  Why you need to listen: If you’ve ever thought ✔️ “Why don’t I want sex anymore?”  ✔️ “Why does it feel like another chore?”  ✔️ “Is this normal after kids?”  …this episode will make you feel seen, validated, and slightly attacked (in a good way). If this episode made you feel less alone, send it to a friend who definitely needs to hear it 👀  And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review Suddenly 30 Something*— it helps more mums find us (and feel a little less like they’re losing it). Links:  https://www.instagram.com/tarao_sexxcoach/ https://www.instagram.com/rosie.rees/ https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7767422/ tv show- sex education

    38 min
  5. Keeping the Spark Alive After Kids (Even When You’re Exhausted)

    9 Apr

    Keeping the Spark Alive After Kids (Even When You’re Exhausted)

    Let’s be honest… sex after kids hits different 😅 In this very real, slightly chaotic, and wildly relatable episode of Suddenly 30 Something, Alysse and Lucy are talking about the thing everyone is thinking about but not actually saying out loud: What the hell happens to your sex life after kids? From spontaneous, carefree intimacy… to scheduling it between Bluey episodes and bedtime battles — we’re unpacking the before vs after kids reality of sex, connection, and keeping your relationship alive when you’re running on zero sleep and snacks. There was sooo much to unpack this is Part 1 of our sex epsiode. Tune in next week for Part 2. In this episode, we cover:✨ The mental load of motherhood and why it’s the ultimate libido killer✨ The honest truth about sex before kids vs sex after kids✨ Why intimacy doesn’t just “happen” anymore — and what actually helps✨ Resentment, exhaustion, communication… and why they all show up in the bedroom ✨ You don’t “lose the spark” after kids… You just have to fight a little harder to find it again 🔥 This episode is your reminder that: You’re not broken if your sex drive has changedYou’re not alone if intimacy feels harderAnd no, you’re definitely not the only one choosing sleep over sexWhy you need to listen: If you’ve ever thought:✔️ “Why don’t I want sex anymore?”✔️ “Why does it feel like another chore?”✔️ “Is this normal after kids?” …this episode will make you feel seen, validated, and slightly attacked (in a good way). If this episode made you feel less alone, send it to a friend who definitely needs to hear it 👀And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review Suddenly 30 Something*— it helps more mums find us (and feel a little less like they’re losing it).

    42 min
  6. Deep dive with Alysse: Motherhood, Identity & Life in Your 30s

    29 Mar

    Deep dive with Alysse: Motherhood, Identity & Life in Your 30s

    In this episode, we’re turning the spotlight onto Alysse — because after last week’s deep dive into Lucy, it’s only fair we get the full story on the other half of the mic. This is Alysse, beyond the quick chats and surface-level moments. We unpack who she is at her core, how she became the woman, mum and partner she is today, and the experiences that have shaped her — the good, the messy, and everything in between. Because if you’ve ever felt like you’re still figuring yourself out in your 30s… same.

    56 min
  7. Meet Lucy: lets deep dive and ask Lucy some curly questions!

    22 Mar

    Meet Lucy: lets deep dive and ask Lucy some curly questions!

    In this episode, we’re doing a proper deep dive into Lucy — beyond the quick intros and surface-level chats. This is the real story. We talk about who Lucy is at her core, how she became the woman, mum and partner she is today, and the parts of her life that have shaped her the most (the good, the messy, and everything in between). Because if you’ve ever felt like you’re still figuring yourself out in your 30s… you’re not alone.

    50 min
  8. IVF, Infertility & Trying to Conceive: The Real Emotional & Physical Journey

    15 Mar

    IVF, Infertility & Trying to Conceive: The Real Emotional & Physical Journey

    In this deeply personal episode of Suddenly 30 Something, Alysse and Lucy open up about their IVF journeys — the reality, the heartbreak, the hope and everything in between. Just a head up there are lots of tears in this episode. Not as light hearted as our regular chats.  This is a long, raw and honest conversation unpacking both of their fertility experiences. From the moment you realise conceiving might not be straightforward, to navigating fertility clinics, lifestyle changes, the infamous two-week wait, early pregnancy anxiety and the emotional weight that IVF carries. IVF isn’t just a medical process — it’s an emotional journey that can bring grief, uncertainty, hope and resilience all at once. In this episode we talk openly about the parts people don’t always see: the mental load, the pressure, the decisions, and the unexpected moments of beauty and growth along the way. Whether you’ve experienced IVF yourself, know someone going through it, or you’re simply curious about what the journey can look like, this conversation aims to make people feel less alone in the fertility space.

    1hr 25min
  9. When Motherhood Feels Overwhelming: Mum Anxiety, Mental Load & Parenting Stress

    8 Mar

    When Motherhood Feels Overwhelming: Mum Anxiety, Mental Load & Parenting Stress

    Yuuup....When Motherhood gets too much Motherhood can be beautiful, fulfilling… and sometimes completely f *#king overwhelming. In this episode of Suddenly 30 Something, Alysse and Lucy have a raw and honest conversation about the moments when the pressure of motherhood, finances, mental load and daily responsibilities all collide. After experiencing an anxiety attack the night before recording, Alysse opens up about what happens when your nervous system hits capacity — and how easily the stress and anxiety we thought we had under control can creep back in. If you’ve ever felt like you’re holding everything together for your family while quietly falling apart inside, this episode will feel incredibly relatable. We talk about the real pressures modern mothers face, the financial stress many families carry, and the importance of acknowledging when you're simply at your limit. Because sometimes motherhood doesn’t feel like thriving… it feels like surviving. • Motherhood overwhelm and the mental load mums carry• Experiencing anxiety and panic attacks as a parent• Financial stress and the pressure of providing for a family• What happens when you reach your emotional capacity• Tools for managing anxiety (including therapy techniques and breathing)• Why acknowledging your feelings is an important step toward coping• Wanting the “pressure valve” of life to release for a moment We also talk about the reality that many mums feel guilty admitting: sometimes we just need a break — space to breathe, reset and come up for air. If you're navigating motherhood in your 30s, juggling family life, marriage, finances and identity shifts, you are not alone. At the end of every episode we share our SOS — Suggestion, Obsession and Self-Care of the week, where we talk about the small things helping us get through the chaos. Suddenly 30 Something is a podcast for women navigating their 30s — motherhood, marriage, identity shifts and the “what the hell are we doing?” moments of adult life. New episodes weekly. Keywords:motherhood overwhelm, mum anxiety, parenting stress, motherhood mental health, mental load of motherhood, anxiety in mothers, parenting podcast, motherhood podcast, women in their 30s, modern motherhood

    45 min
  10. Welcome to Suddenly 30 Something* (We’re Already Off Track)

    1 Mar

    Welcome to Suddenly 30 Something* (We’re Already Off Track)

    Hang onto your hats… the number of tangents we go on, it’s like a roller coaster. In late 2025 we hit record and officially launched Suddenly 30 Something — a podcast for women navigating their 30s, motherhood, marriage, identity shifts and “what the hell are we doing?” moments. Episode 1 is your full origin story of who we are and how the poddy came to be. Enjoy the ride! We cover:• who we are + how we met parenting in your 30s • marriage after kids moving to new towns • career pivots + work life • self care that isn’t just bubble baths • current obsessions and random life updates • Lucy weaponising blowj0bs  Links: https://www.instagram.com/suddenly30_something/ Silver strands glitter - going grey inspo https://www.instagram.com/silverstrandsofglitter/?hl=en

    50 min
  • 10 Episodes

About

“Suddenly Thirty (Something)” is a no-BS, real-talk podcast hosted by two women, Lucy and Alysse, navigating the messy middle ground of mid-thirties life. Each week, we dive into unscripted, unfiltered conversations about family, aging, mental health, re-parenting, beauty standards, and deconstructing everything 20-year-old us thought we'd have figured out by now. If you’re over the polished version of adulthood and ready to embrace the real — welcome. You’ve found your people. Reserve the right to change our mind

Information

  • Creator
    Lucy and Alysse
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    10
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Lucy and Alysse
  • Show Website
    Suddenly 30 (something*)

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