Where Do We Go From Here?

Jessica Van Der Wyngaard
  • 4.9 (38)
  • CHRISTIANITY
  • FORTNIGHTLY SERIES

A weekly podcast deconstructing purity culture, sex and other real life stuff for thoughtful Christians and exvangelicals alike.

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  1. No Hard Feelings about Charlie Kirk

    EPISODE 1

    No Hard Feelings about Charlie Kirk

    Responding to the Assassination of Charlie Kirk The assassination of Charlie Kirk has shaken Christian communities across the U.S. and beyond. In this episode of No Hard Feelings, Jess (Melbourne), Emily (Texas), and Kristen (Tennessee) sit with the grief, confusion, and deep polarization surrounding Kirk's death. Together, we ask: how do we resist letting tragedy harden us into tribalism? How do we hold the tension between condemning violence and naming the real harm of Kirk's rhetoric? And what does it mean to choose love over retaliation in an age of outrage? In this conversation, we explore: Why reactions to Kirk's death split so quickly into polarized "camps" The role of social media algorithms in fueling anger and division, with insights from Jonathan Haidt (The Coddling of the American Mind). Mark Noll's critique of evangelical anti-intellectualism in The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind. A pastoral response from Kristin Mockler Young, reminding us that empathy in the face of enmity is a supernatural calling Reflections on collective grief, generational impact, and the temptation to idolize or demonize leaders. Why stepping away from online debates and reclaiming in-person conversations might be our best path forward. This is not an easy conversation — but in No Hard Feelings fashion, we try to hold complexity, honor grief, and root ourselves in love. Sources:  https://jimrigby.substack.com/p/my-prayer-today-in-a-liberal-church https://tialevings.substack.com/p/evangelicals-are-venerating-charlie https://www.straightwhiteamericanjesus.com/episodes/political-violence-before-and-after-charlie-kirks-murder/ https://www.abc.net.au/listen/programs/ladies-we-need-to-talk/misogyny-sexism-ai-ladies-we-need-to-talk/105775024 https://turningthegem.substack.com/p/one-pastors-response-to-the-effect https://www.aei.org/society-and-culture/the-unraveling-how-political-violence-reveals-americas-fraying-social-fabric/

    40 min
  2. April Ajoy on Christian Nationalism and Star-Spangled Jesus

    EPISODE 2

    April Ajoy on Christian Nationalism and Star-Spangled Jesus

    This week on Where Do We Go From Here? EDJ sits down with content creator, podcaster, and author April Ajoy to talk about her new book Star-Spangled Jesus: Christian Nationalism in America. April grew up in purity culture as a pastor's kid, surrounded by the metaphors we all know too well—chewed-up gum, licked cupcakes, torn roses. But as her journey unfolded, she began creating satire on TikTok, co-hosting the Tim and April Show, and now writing a book that helps us understand how Christian nationalism took hold in America. In this conversation, you'll hear: April's personal deconstruction journey, from purity culture to politics. What Christian nationalism actually is, and how it has shaped American evangelicalism. Why purity culture and Christian nationalism often go hand in hand. How April and her non-binary spouse live out a faith that embraces authenticity and hope. Why she still chooses to ground herself in the words of Jesus. EDJ also reflects on the contrasts between voting in Australia and the United States, and how compulsory voting changes the landscape of politics and faith. This episode will help you name the forces shaping the evangelical church in America, and it offers hope that change and healing are possible. Find April Ajoy online: TikTok & Instagram: @aprilajoy Podcast: The Tim & April Show Book: Star-Spangled Jesus (available now wherever books are sold)

    45 min
  3. Grace for Parents, Healing for Kids - Chatting to the authors of The Myth of Good Christian Parenting

    EPISODE 3

    Grace for Parents, Healing for Kids - Chatting to the authors of The Myth of Good Christian Parenting

    Guests: Marissa Franks-Burt – Instagram | Substack Kelsey Kramer McGinnis – Instagram | Substack | Writer at Christianity Today About the Episode: In this episode, EDJ sits down with Marissa Franks-Burt and Kelsey Kramer McGinnis, authors of The Myth of Good Christian Parenting: How False Promises Betrayed a Generation of Evangelical Families. Together they trace how James Dobson's Dare to Discipline shaped decades of Christian parenting and why authoritarian, fear-based models continue to echo in today's influencer culture. They explore: How "good Christian parenting" emerged from post-1970s evangelicalism Why the focus on control and obedience took hold The theology behind corporal punishment and gender hierarchy How religious parenting ideals became social media aesthetics What it looks like to move toward empathy, autonomy, and grace Trigger warning: Discussion of spanking, strict discipline, and religious trauma. Book release: The Myth of Good Christian Parenting releases October 14, 2025. Pre-order bonuses include downloadable resources making the Christian case against spanking.

    1h 14m
  4. Why 'Waiting on God's Timing' Keeps Women Stuck and other thoughts

    EPISODE 4

    Why 'Waiting on God's Timing' Keeps Women Stuck and other thoughts

    In this reflective and wide-ranging Thoughts & Prayers episode, Jessica and EDJ explore the intersection of politics, faith, and deconstruction — from the rise of Christian nationalism in the U.S. to the way purity culture still shapes dating and marriage expectations today. Together, they talk about: How Christian nationalism differs between Australia and the U.S. What the Charlie Kirk controversy reveals about polarization and online discourse. Learning when to disengage from unproductive debates — and how that can be an act of wisdom, not defeat. Why waiting for "God's timing" in dating can keep women passive and disconnected from their own agency. Reflections on The Myth of Good Christian Parenting and the need to unlearn harmful discipline models. Jessica's bittersweet announcement about stepping back from Where Do We Go From Here? and what's next for the show. A closing prayer for peace, courage, and connection. ✨ Whether you're deconstructing purity culture, politics, or parenting, this episode offers grounded honesty, laughter, and a gentle invitation to keep growing. Mentioned: The Myth of Good Christian Parenting by Marissa Franks-Burt & Kelsey Kramer McGinnis April Ajoy interview episode Prayer by Dr Lisa Hancock

    46 min

  5. EPISODE 5

    Nobody Wants This Season 1 Recap

    In this fun and thoughtful Where Do We Go From Here? conversation, Jessica and Devi revisit one of their favourite RomCom Recap episodes from Patreon — a deep dive into the Netflix hit Nobody Wants This, starring Kristen Bell and Adam Brody. They explore why this show hit such a cultural nerve, how it portrays the complexity of love between two people from different faiths, and what it teaches us about emotional honesty, boundaries, and belonging. From the "hot rabbi" to the spiral-inducing unanswered text, Jessica and Devi unpack how Nobody Wants This manages to make relationships feel real — messy, beautiful, and worth fighting for. If you've ever wondered what healthy love looks like after religious conditioning or purity culture, this one's for you. In this episode: Why Nobody Wants This resonates so deeply with modern audiences How pop culture is reimagining "good men" through characters like Noah The parallels between religious devotion and emotional integrity Why our culture is hungry for models of honest, emotionally mature relationships The power of female introspection in romcom storytelling Mentioned in this episode: Nobody Wants This (Netflix) Fleabag (Amazon Prime) The Faith Adjacent Podcast

    33 min
  6. Does Saving Sex for Marriage Set People Up for Better or Worse Sex? - A No Hard Feelings Chat

    EPISODE 6

    Does Saving Sex for Marriage Set People Up for Better or Worse Sex? - A No Hard Feelings Chat

    In this month's No Hard Feelings, Jessica, Emily, and Kristen take a deep dive into one of purity culture's biggest promises — that saving sex for marriage leads to better, holier, and more satisfying sex. Spoiler: the data (and lived experience) tell a different story. They explore: The "sexual prosperity gospel" and why it set so many up for shame and disappointment Sheila Wray Gregoire's landmark Great Sex Rescue study of 20,000 evangelical women The "flip-switch myth" and how lack of education and consent led to painful first experiences The 47% orgasm gap and how theology often reinforces it How purity culture erased queer people entirely — and the lasting impact of that What Christians can teach instead: consent, embodiment, mutuality, and choice A surprisingly wise bit of secular sex advice: "Don't have sex with anyone you wouldn't hand your unlocked phone to." Whether you waited for marriage or not, this episode dismantles the shame, misinformation, and silence that shaped so many of our sexual stories — and offers a better, kinder path forward. Referenced: The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Wray Gregoire The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex Dr. Camden Morgante's "Flip Switch Myth" Santification and Sexual Satisfaction: https://ematerials.ulethbridge.ca/server/api/core/bitstreams/51cab0e8-67d7-48c5-923d-543a9873ff0b/content https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2011-19407-001 Guys We F**ed* podcast

    52 min
  7. Deconstructing Christian Patriarchy and Reclaiming Feminine Energy

    EPISODE 7

    Deconstructing Christian Patriarchy and Reclaiming Feminine Energy

    In this episode, EDJ talks with Angela Herrington, author of Embracing the Old Witch in the Woods: Decolonizing the Sacred Feminine and Reclaiming Your Power. Together, they explore what it means to reconnect with feminine wisdom in a world shaped by patriarchy and Christian purity culture. Angela unpacks: The witch as a metaphor for women's ancestral wisdom and strength How patriarchy and colonialism vilified feminine power and indigenous knowledge Why rage and pleasure are essential parts of healing The truth about Christian teachings on submission and mutuality How epigenetics reveals generational trauma—and the science behind healing it The difference between equality and equity in feminist theology This conversation dives deep into spirituality, sexuality, and self-trust, inviting listeners to rediscover the sacred feminine in themselves—no matter their gender. 📘 Embracing the Old Witch in the Woods is available wherever you buy books. Follow Angela Herrington on Instagram and visit angelaherrington.com. 🎧 Listen to Where Do We Go From Here? wherever you get your podcasts, and follow @where_do_we_go_pod for more.

    1h 5m
  8. Faith, Feminism & Pleasure: Rethinking the Christian Story of Sex

    EPISODE 8

    Faith, Feminism & Pleasure: Rethinking the Christian Story of Sex

    In this month's Thoughts & Prayers, Jess and EDJ dive into what's been stirring in our community conversations — from purity-culture myths about "saving sex for marriage" to what it means to reclaim feminine wisdom in a patriarchal church. The hosts reflect on the latest No Hard Feelings discussion about abstinence and sexual compatibility, explore how our theology has shaped women's bodies and pleasure, and unpack insights from Edie J's interview with Angela J Harrington, author of Embracing the Odd Witch in the Woods. They also take listener questions from Reddit — tackling Christian dating, women initiating relationships, and setting boundaries with partners navigating addiction. And, as always, the episode closes with a moment of prayer in the spirit of the Anglican Prayers of the People, holding space for our world, our bodies, and our courage to question. In this episode: Does abstinence before marriage really equal better sex? Re-educating ourselves about desire, consent & female anatomy Deconstructing patriarchy and reclaiming feminine wisdom Addiction, boundaries, and compassionate love Women leading with courage in politics & faith communities A prayer for grace in uncertainty and hope in the waiting Keywords: purity culture, Christian sexuality, feminist theology, Angela Harrington, deconstruction podcast, consent education, female embodiment, patriarchy in the church, women's leadership, deconstruction and faith, Where Do We Go From Here podcast   Angela J. Herrington — Website: angelajherrington.com angelajherrington.com+1 Angela Herrington — Book: Embracing the Old Witch in the Woods: Liberating Feminine Wisdom from Christian Patriarchy by Angela J. Herrington Google Books Sheila Wray Gregoire — Bare Marriage blog/article: "Are Obligation Sex and Marital Rape the Same Thing?" Bare Marriage France legal reform on consent — Article: "France's Assemblée Nationale backs bill adding consent to rape law" (Le Monde) lemonde.fr+1

    55 min
See All Season 5 (17)

4.9
out of 5
38 Ratings

About

A weekly podcast deconstructing purity culture, sex and other real life stuff for thoughtful Christians and exvangelicals alike.

Information

  • Creator
    Jessica Van Der Wyngaard
  • Episodes
    202
  • Seasons
    5
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © All Rights Reserved by Authors
  • Show Website
    Where Do We Go From Here?

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