Where Do We Go From Here?

Jessica Van Der Wyngaard

A weekly podcast deconstructing purity culture, sex and other real life stuff for thoughtful Christians and exvangelicals alike.

  1. Purity Culture is Spiritual Abuse

    EPISODE 1

    Purity Culture is Spiritual Abuse

    In this episode, Katherine Spearing discusses her experiences with spiritual abuse, particularly within the contexts of purity culture and the Christian Patriarchy Movement. She shares insights on how these environments shape beliefs about gender roles, emotional labor, and personal values. The conversation explores the dynamics of cult-like behavior in religious communities, the importance of consent, and the journey towards healing from spiritual trauma. Katherine emphasizes the need for diverse communities and the significance of understanding one's own emotions as a pathway to recovery. Takeaways: ·         Many churches perpetuate patriarchal values under the guise of spirituality. ·         Spiritual abuse often uses religious texts to control behavior. ·         Purity culture is overt spiritual abuse that can lead to significant emotional and psychological harm. ·         Women are often conditioned to prioritize perfection over bravery. ·         Emotional labor disproportionately falls on women, even in egalitarian settings. ·         Spiritual bypassing can invalidate genuine feelings of grief and sadness. ·         Differentiation of feelings is crucial for healthy relationships. ·         Healing from spiritual abuse requires understanding personal values and emotions. ·         Diverse communities provide essential support for recovery from spiritual trauma. Katherine has a Masters of religion and culture. She grew up in an extreme Christian patriarchal movement (a cult) and has worked for several evangelical churches. After leaving spiritually abusive workplaces, she went on to found Tears of Eden, a nonprofit supporting survivors of Spiritual Abuse, producing and hosting its groundbreaking affiliate podcast Uncertain, which pioneered pivotal conversations around Spiritual Abuse and has been quoted in scholarly articles, seminary papers, and PhD dissertations. Her book, A Thousand Tiny Papercuts was published in October 2025. Find Katherine on Instagram: @katherinespearing & @tearsofedenofficial And websites: www.katherinespearing.com & www.tearsofeden.org Jess' Archive Bundles (available until 28 February 2026): • The Jess and Devi Show (2021–2025) – $30 • The Jess and Friends Show (2025) – $10 Discounts available for paid and free Patreon members.

    52 min
  2. Science and Sex: Bacteria, Bonobos, the Bible and Beyond

    EPISODE 2

    Science and Sex: Bacteria, Bonobos, the Bible and Beyond

    Raised in an agnostic family in Adelaide, Australia, Jason John studied zoology because he wanted to work with animals. After these scientific studies, Jason experienced a spiritual transformation that led him to became a six-day creationist, no-sex-before-marriage Conservative Evangelical with a dose of the Charismatic and a dash of Pentecostalism. At theological college he discovered that Christianity was a very broad umbrella, re-embraced evolution and, though married himself, advocated for a more open approach to sexuality within the church. He explores the intersection of science, Christianity, politics and Earth Care as an ordained minister and founder of ecofaith.org. Jason is also a performance poet and author. Listeners of this podcast can download his book Faithful Fornication: Bacteria, Bonobos the Bible and Beyond for free from ecofaith.org/freebies, password SpiritualMisfits, with the hopes that they will rate and review it on Goodreads and Amazon. Jason has B.Sc in Zoology and a Post Grad Diploma in Environmental Studies from Adelaide University; B.Min & PhD in Theology from Flinders University. In this episode of the Where Do We Go From Here podcast, host EDJ and Jason John explore Jason's journey from agnosticism to Christianity, the impact of purity culture on the church, and the evolution of human relationships. This conversation delves into the contrasting creation stories of the Bible and scientific evolution as well as the role of Jesus in modern Christianity. They discuss the importance of open and deeply honest communication in relationships and the past, present, and future of monogamy. Jason's book "Christian Sex Today" was attracting the wrong kinds of readers. Conservative Christians found it too progressive and progressives assumed it was conservative and weren't picking it up. So, Jason changed the title to "Faithful Fornication." When he became a Christian Jason initially rejected his scientific studies to embrace a literal 6-7day creation story. When he attended seminary, Jason learned that not all Christians reject evolution and he was able to re-negotiate his Christian beliefs in light of his scientific studies. Jason contrasts the Genesis creation stories with the evolution story: In the beginning…life reproduced asexually. EDJ and Jason discuss how life evolved from asexual reproduction to hermaphrodite and homosexual reproduction and eventually to heterosexual reproduction and the implications for Christianity. Jason elaborates on gametes and DNA including the unique (and exquisite) DNA of the platypus. The Bible should be approached as a historical document rather than a literal guide. Jesus' teachings emphasize love, grace, and acts of kindness and service to one another. This is a conservative view and yet it stands in contrast to American-Evangelicalism which has an over-emphasis on sexual behavior and identity and an under-emphasis on the beatitudes and Jesus' more challenging teachings. EDJ and Jason touch on the history of monogamy, polyamory, polygamy and polygyny and where homo sapiens' may be headed. Jason talks about Freud and the invention of the vibrator to treat women with "hysteria" by inducing orgasms. Women have a very similar libido to men. Open communication is essential in relationships to avoid secrecy and shame. Domestic abuse is a critical issue that needs to be addressed within the church. Human relationships are evolving, with changing views on monogamy and commitment. To listen to the entire 73min episode for free, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/wheredowegopod Jess' Archive Bundles (available until 28 February 2026): • The Jess and Devi Show (2021–2025) – $30 • The Jess and Friends Show (2025) – $10 Discounts available for paid and free Patreon members.

    57 min
4.9
out of 5
38 Ratings

About

A weekly podcast deconstructing purity culture, sex and other real life stuff for thoughtful Christians and exvangelicals alike.

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