How to Split a Toaster: A Divorce Podcast About Saving Your Relationships

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Seth Nelson is a Tampa based family lawyer known for devising creative solutions to difficult problems. In How to Split a Toaster, Nelson and co-host Pete Wright take on the challenge of divorce with a central objective — saving your most important relationships with your family, your former spouse, and yourself.

29 JUL

You Asked, We Answer: Essential Divorce Guidance from Your Questions

Navigating Modern Divorce: Technology, Communication, and Moving Forward In this listener Q&A episode of How to Split a Toaster, divorce attorney Seth Nelson and host Pete Wright tackle pressing questions about divorce in the digital age. The discussion covers everything from managing electronic communications with ex-partners to the challenges of relocation and new relationships. Digital Age Divorce ChallengesThe hosts explore how technology has transformed divorce and co-parenting, addressing concerns about constant communication through phones and co-parenting apps. Seth provides practical strategies for setting boundaries while maintaining necessary contact, especially regarding court-ordered response times and children's FaceTime calls. Legal Considerations and Personal GrowthThe conversation shifts to critical legal topics like relocation, annulments, and protecting oneself in future relationships. Seth emphasizes the importance of consulting local jurisdiction laws while offering insights on navigating high-conflict situations and managing communication effectively. Mental Health and Moving ForwardA significant portion focuses on the value of mental health support before, during, and after divorce. The hosts discuss how emotional work can positively impact custody arrangements and co-parenting relationships, while emphasizing the importance of setting healthy boundaries. Key Insights:• Set clear communication boundaries through co-parenting apps and scheduled check-ins• Consider mental health support early in the divorce process to improve outcomes• Protect yourself legally and emotionally in future relationships through careful planning The episode provides practical guidance for managing modern divorce challenges while maintaining focus on healthy relationships and effective co-parenting. Listeners gain valuable insights from both legal and personal growth perspectives, helping them navigate their divorce journey more effectively. For anyone facing divorce in today's interconnected world, this episode offers essential strategies for managing technology, protecting their interests, and maintaining healthy boundaries while prioritizing children's well-being. Links & Notes Read BIFF: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns by Bill EddyTune in to It’s All Your Fault: The Hight Conflict People podcast with Bill Eddy and Megan HunterSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - Question One (06:39) - Question Two (09:27) - Questions Three and Four (16:42) - Question Five (19:12) - Question Six (22:02) - Question Seven (25:07) - Question Eight (25:52) - Question Nine (29:38) - Wrap Up

31 min
22 JUL

The Ghosts in Your Divorce with Nanette Murphy

What do you do when the most emotionally complicated part of your divorce isn’t your ex, your kids, or even the lawyer sitting across the table—but your living room? On this episode of How to Split a Toaster, family law attorney Seth Nelson and Pete Wright explore the profound entanglement between memory and materiality in divorce, with guest Nanette Murphy—a certified divorce and life transition coach who specializes in helping women navigate separation after long-term marriage. Nanette brings a compassionate, lived-in expertise to the topic of shared spaces—how the family home, often the most contested asset, transforms into a symbol of what was, and what needs to be left behind. The conversation unpacks how emotional attachment to a home can cloud decision-making, stretch finances, and stall healing. From repainting walls to rerouting your daily path through the kitchen, Nanette offers strategies to reclaim space—both literally and psychologically. Seth adds the critical legal perspective, offering insight into when it makes financial sense to keep the house, when to walk away, and how to ensure you’re not mortgaging your future just to hold onto your past. And Pete probes the deeper question: is your desire to stay rooted in care, or control? Together, the trio explores how to break up with your home, make peace with your stuff, and move forward with purpose. Key Insights Letting go of the home can unlock emotional and financial freedomRedefining physical space helps rewire emotional memoryDivorce coaching prepares clients to approach legal decisions with clarityThis episode is for anyone facing the wrenching choice of what to take—and what to leave behind—when your relationship ends but your memories remain. Divorce isn’t just a legal process. It’s a spatial one. A sensory one. And sometimes, the most healing thing you can do is move your pizza cutter to a new drawer. Links & Notes Nanette Murphy: Live Life Now With PurposeSecond Act: Navigating Gray Divorce (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (09:31) - Ghosts in the Home (20:15) - Ghosts and Your Attorney (26:24) - Learn More

29 min
16 JUL

Taking a Sick Day

We missed an episode! No, it doesn't happen often. But sometimes life kicks you in the sniffles. Here we are without an attorney and, as the old saying goes, "what's a podcast if we don't have an attorney?" I'm sure someone said that. In any case, thanks for being here and we'll see you next week!

1 min
8 JUL

Second Time's The Charm?: Understanding Remarriage Rights with Attorney Kara Chrobak

Moving Forward: Understanding Second Marriages and Divorce Stigma Family law attorney Seth Nelson and Pete Wright welcome guest Kara Chrobak to explore the complexities of second marriages and divorce stigma. Chrobak, a Colorado-based family law attorney specializing in high-net-worth cases, brings valuable insights into how society's views on multiple marriages impact relationship decisions. The conversation examines why prenuptial agreements become increasingly important in subsequent marriages, particularly when children from previous relationships are involved. Seth explains how prenups can actually demonstrate commitment rather than distrust by allowing couples to thoughtfully plan their financial future. The hosts and Chrobak dive into estate planning considerations across multiple marriages, addressing how life insurance policies, beneficiary designations, and asset distribution become more complex with each relationship transition. They explore practical solutions like aliquot reductions in life insurance policies to balance obligations to current and former spouses. Key Insights: Prenuptial agreements can protect children from previous marriages while allowing couples to build shared assetsEstate planning requires careful coordination between divorce agreements and current relationship needsSetting healthy relationship boundaries should be celebrated rather than stigmatizedThe conversation reinforces that divorce—whether first, second, or subsequent—doesn't represent failure but rather demonstrates the courage to make healthy choices. Listeners gain practical insights into navigating complex legal and emotional terrain while maintaining focus on building positive future relationships. Links & Notes Connect with Kara on LinkedInSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - Second Marriages and Beyond (01:22) - The Stigma of Multiple Divorces (06:15) - Cultural Shift (08:54) - Navigating the Traditionalist Shame (12:11) - Learning from Celebrity Divorces (15:50) - Pre- and Post-Nups (25:30) - Keeping Things Updated (27:08) - Estate Management (28:57) - Aliquat Reductions (35:34) - Boundaries (37:43) - Finding Kara (38:28) - Wrap Up

40 min
1 JUL

The Avoidance Trap: Managing Divorce Emotions with Dr. Michelle Maidenberg

Navigating Emotional Avoidance in Divorce In this illuminating episode of How to Split a Toaster, family law attorney Seth Nelson and Pete Wright explore emotional avoidance during divorce with expert guest Dr. Michelle Maidenberg, a specialist in mindfulness and emotional resilience. Understanding Values in Conflict Dr. Maidenberg explains how our core values shape divorce decisions and reactions. Values aren't just what we claim to prioritize—they reveal themselves through our actions and emotional triggers. When two values conflict, such as financial security versus family time, the resulting tension often drives divorce disputes. Breaking Down Emotional Avoidance The conversation delves into how emotional avoidance manifests during divorce proceedings. Dr. Maidenberg describes various avoidance tactics people employ, from repression to distraction, while explaining how these coping mechanisms can ultimately hinder healing and resolution. Practical Tools for Emotional Regulation Dr. Maidenberg introduces therapeutic approaches including EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) for managing divorce-related trauma and anxiety. She emphasizes the importance of finding the right therapeutic relationship and approach for individual needs. Key Insights: Identify conflicting core values to better understand emotional reactions during divorceSet appropriate boundaries around communication to maintain emotional stabilityWork with qualified professionals to develop personalized coping strategiesThe Role of Professional Support The episode highlights how legal counsel and mental health professionals can work together to support clients through divorce. Seth Nelson shares practical strategies for managing difficult communications, while Dr. Maidenberg offers therapeutic perspectives on processing divorce-related emotions. Plus, the conversation explores how different therapeutic modalities—from CBT to mindfulness-based approaches—can help individuals navigate divorce's emotional challenges while staying true to their values. This episode provides valuable insights for anyone seeking to better understand and manage their emotional responses during divorce, while offering practical tools for maintaining stability throughout the legal process. Links & Notes Find Michelle on her website, LinkedIn, X, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTubeCheck out Michelle’s book “Ace Your Life: Unleash Your Best Self and Live the Life You Want”Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - Meet Dr. Michelle Maidenberg (01:01) - Emotional Avoidance (02:18) - Formative Values (06:36) - When in Distress (07:54) - In the Divorce Process (10:13) - Dealing with Fear (12:10) - Conflict of Values (16:56) - Values Charting (17:59) - Learning to Self-Regulate (23:19) - EMDR (27:20) - Finding the Right Therapist (29:36) - Finding Michelle (31:19) - Wrap Up

33 min
24 JUN

When Trust Breaks: Understanding Betrayal Trauma with Mr. Jay

Healing After Betrayal—A Guide for Co-Parents Divorce attorney Seth Nelson and co-host Pete Wright welcome relationship coach and betrayal trauma expert Mr. Jay for an insightful discussion about healing and co-parenting after profound betrayal. Drawing from both professional expertise and personal experience, Mr. Jay helps people navigate from devastating betrayal to healing, offering unique perspectives on how this specific trauma affects every aspect of life. The conversation explores what makes betrayal trauma distinct from other forms of trauma—particularly how it reshapes not just our present and future, but also our understanding of the past. Seth and Pete dive deep into practical strategies for managing ongoing relationships with former spouses when children are involved, while Mr. Jay shares powerful insights about healing personal wounds first. The discussion covers everything from financial betrayals to infidelity, examining how different types of betrayal trauma affect co-parenting relationships and personal recovery. Questions we answer in this episode: How is betrayal trauma different from other life challenges?What steps can I take to co-parent effectively after betrayal?How do I protect my emotional health while dealing with a betrayer?Key Takeaways: Healing requires addressing both current wounds and past traumaSelf-love and boundary-setting are crucial for emotional recoveryEffective co-parenting starts with personal healingThe episode provides essential insights for anyone struggling with betrayal during or after divorce, offering practical tools for healing while maintaining necessary relationships for the children's sake. Mr. Jay's approach emphasizes personal growth and self-care as fundamental steps toward building a healthy post-divorce life. Links & Notes Visit Mr. Jay’s websiteFind Mr. Jay on Instagram, X, Facebook, YouTube, LinkedIn, or his other linksCheck out Mr. Jay’s journalSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:31) - Mr. Jay and Betrayal Trauma (01:43) - Mr. Jay’s Background (05:40) - Defining Betrayal Trauma (08:28) - Trauma vs. Betrayal Trauma (10:47) - What If You Still Care? (14:01) - Affecting the Past as Well (18:28) - Co-Parenting (21:23) - Healing for You (22:53) - Admitting It (23:44) - Define what forgiveness means to you (28:14) - Getting Better Equipped (32:30) - Asking the Hard Questions (33:30) - Wrap Up

36 min
17 JUN

Divine Divorce? Catholic Annulments Explained with Father David Mowry

Faith, Family Law, and Finding Peace: Understanding Catholic Annulments In this enlightening episode, divorce attorney Seth Nelson and Pete Wright welcome Father David Mowry, a Roman Catholic priest and assistant professor at the University of St. Mary of the Lake in Mundelein, Illinois. With the recent election of Pope Leo XIV (the first American-born Pope), the conversation explores the intersection of Catholic faith and family law, specifically focusing on the church's approach to marriage, divorce, and annulments. Seth and Pete dive deep into the Catholic Church's perspective on marriage as both a sacred covenant and a legal institution. Father Mowry explains how annulments differ fundamentally from civil divorces, detailing the extensive process and support systems the Church has in place. The discussion reveals how the Church's approach to failed marriages isn't about finding loopholes, but rather about determining whether a true marriage existed in the first place according to Catholic teaching. Questions we answer in this episode: How does a Catholic annulment differ from a civil divorce?What happens if one spouse refuses to participate in the annulment process?How does the Church support children whose parents are going through divorce?Key Takeaways: The Catholic Church views marriage as a permanent covenant—annulments determine if a valid marriage ever existedAnnulment processes include extensive pastoral and legal support systemsLocal priests serve as initial guides but specialized Church courts handle the formal proceedingsThis episode offers invaluable insights for anyone navigating the complex intersection of faith and divorce. Whether you're Catholic or simply interested in understanding different approaches to marriage dissolution, Father Mowry's explanation of the Church's compassionate yet structured approach to failed marriages provides a fascinating perspective on healing and moving forward. Links & Notes Learn more about Father David Mowry on his websiteSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:27) - Meet Father David Mowry (04:31) - Catholic Annulments vs. Divorce (05:16) - Civil vs. Church Law Around Marriage (12:20) - Annulments – The Loophole (18:05) - What the Church Looks at (20:27) - Counter to Catholic Thinking? (23:08) - A Way to Set People Free (24:06) - Unwlling Participant (25:46) - When It’s Contested (27:34) - Appeals Process (28:15) - Judges (31:50) - Emotional Infrastructure (36:55) - Working with the Kids (41:31) - Where the Job Begins and Ends (45:06) - Historical Records (46:47) - Pete’s Story (48:35) - Wrap Up

52 min
10 JUN

Stoic Empathy: Building Strength Through Understanding with Shermin Kruse

Mastering Stoic Empathy During and After Divorce Divorce attorney Seth Nelson and co-host Pete Wright welcome leadership expert and author Shermin Kruse to explore how combining stoicism with empathy can transform the divorce experience. Kruse, who grew up in war-torn Iran before becoming a lawyer and author, brings unique insights on maintaining emotional control while staying attuned to others' perspectives during high-conflict situations. Seth and Pete dive deep into practical applications of stoic empathy—from courtroom strategies to co-parenting interactions. The conversation explores how intentional discomfort practice builds resilience, while cognitive empathy helps navigate challenging relationships. Kruse shares powerful examples from her personal journey and professional experience, demonstrating how these principles can help anyone handle difficult conversations and negotiations more effectively. The discussion particularly focuses on how divorcing couples can maintain their authentic selves while managing conflict constructively. Questions we answer in this episode: How can I stay calm and focused when dealing with a hostile ex-spouse?What practical exercises help build emotional resilience during divorce?How do I balance being strong with staying empathetic in co-parenting?Key Takeaways: Practice discomfort in safe settings to build emotional controlUse active listening and pausing to better understand others' perspectivesRemember your responses are in your control, even when others' actions aren'tThis episode offers invaluable insights for anyone navigating divorce or high-conflict relationships. Kruse's blend of philosophical wisdom and practical experience provides actionable strategies for maintaining composure while building stronger post-divorce relationships. Links & Notes Find Sher on her website, LinkedIn, Instagram, or FacebookTune in to Sher’s podcast Stoic EmpathyCheck out Sher’s book Stoic EmpathySchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - Shermin Kruse and Stoic Empathy (02:07) - What Is Stoic Empathy? (06:06) - The Practice of Stoicism (14:03) - Working on Empathy (20:08) - In the Divorce Process (32:43) - After Divorce (36:26) - Sher’s Book

40 min

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Coming Soon: How to Split a Toaster

Seth Nelson is a Tampa based family lawyer known for devising creative solutions to difficult problems. In "How to Split a Toaster," Nelson takes on the challenge of divorce with a central objective — saving the most important relationships with your family, your former spouse, and yourself. Subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts and join us later this month for our official launch! Links & Notes Nelson Koster Family LawHow To Split a Toaster at TruStory FM

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How to Split a Toaster: A Divorce Podcast About Saving Your Relationships
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