MissPerceived

Audiocrafty
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  • Social Sciences
  • Updated Weekly

Leah Ruppanner is a no-nonsense Sociologist from the University of Melbourne on a mission to dispel society’s biggest and most divisive gender myths. In MissPerceived, Leah will tackle pervasive questions and draw upon decades of academic research and evidence to debunk the gender myths that benefit no one - showing that women aren’t better than men at seeing mess or multitasking, and that men aren’t bumbling caregivers who can’t change a diaper or find the keys. MissPerceived will show how as a society we use these myths to explain gender inequality and maintain the status quo. Leah doesn’t shy away from tough topics and touches on all those messy conversations about life including sex, relationships, work, parenting, and self-help. MissPerceived showcases how we got here, where we need to go next, and how to get there. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. 2d ago

    The Clutter Problem: Why Piles Around the House Are Draining Your Mental Load

    Leah posted one question on Instagram — "What do you hold to a higher standard in your household than anyone else?" — and got 26,000 views and 200 comments. The answer that came through louder than anything else? The clutter. The piles. The stuff that just sits there while everyone walks past it pretending it doesn't exist. In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner unpacks why household clutter is so emotionally activating, why it's a mental load issue hiding in plain sight, and what the research (and your comments) reveal about who's really responsible for making it disappear. Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    16 min

  2. Jun 16

    Equality vs. Equity: Which One Does Your Relationship Actually Need?

    A listener emailed Leah with a question straight from the middle of a relationship argument: what's the difference between equality and equity and which one should we actually be striving for? In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner breaks down one of sociology's most important distinctions and brings it all the way home, literally. From time-use research and the mental load to leisure time, burnout, and the economy of gratitude, Leah explains why your relationship probably needs both equality and equity, why getting stuck in only one is a trap, and why giving endlessly to everyone else while putting yourself last isn't equity: it's gaslighting yourself. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction — a listener question sparks the episode 01:00 What is equality? Access, time use, and equal divisions of labor 03:00 Time-based equality in relationships — tracking who does what 04:08 Why time as a measure of productivity is becoming less useful in the AI age 06:21 The mental load and equality — what Drained adds to the picture 07:30 What is equity? Giving more to those who need more 08:39 The economy of gratitude — how households naturally use equity 09:30 Why mothers get stuck in the equity mindset and burn out 10:53 Equity without equality is gaslighting — and it needs to stop 11:30 How to undulate between equity and equality in your relationship 12:30 Kate Mangino: relationships balance out over time — but only if you're conscious of it 13:23 Brian Page and Modern Husbands: equal leisure time as a key equality measure 14:30 The beautiful cycle: inequality → equity → equality → repeat 15:29 Share your experience — Leah wants to hear what's working for you Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    18 min

  3. Jun 9

    Do Men Feel Guilt? The Science of Guilt, Motherhood & Why You Can't Stop Upscaling

    Do men actually feel guilt — or does it just look different? In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner dives into one of her most viral Instagram moments and the research that sparked it: the striking difference between how men and women experience guilt in family life. Drawing on Marianne Cooper's landmark studies, Leah unpacks a concept called "upscaling" — why when life gets uncertain, many mothers respond by raising the bar, seeking control, and comparing themselves to others, all of which leads to more guilt, not less. If you've ever felt like you can't stop optimizing, can't lower your standards, and can't stop looking sideways at what other people are doing — this episode is for you. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction — guilt, Instagram fame, and a viral post 01:00 Do men feel guilt? What the research and the comments say 02:18 How men transition guilt into action — and why breadwinner norms neutralize it 04:35 Why women don't get the same guilt negation — and why that's a problem 05:30 Is guilt even a useful emotion? What it's actually signaling 06:54 Marianne Cooper's research: upscaling vs. downscaling under pressure 08:00 The optimization trap — why highly educated mothers burn through mental load energy 09:16 Three strategies mothers use when upscaling: raise the bar, seek control, compare 11:36 Food, motherhood guilt, and the pressure of home-cooked organic meals 13:00 Why "solely responsible" became the default — and how we got here 14:30 Social media as the ultimate social comparison machine 16:09 What Drained says: good is good enough, and social comparison is the thief of joy 18:27 Guilt as a signal vs. guilt as a trap — and how to tell the difference Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    21 min

  4. Jun 2

    From Lean In to Leaned On: The Workplace Trap No One Warned Women About

    You were told to lean in. Work harder, say yes, show up, do more — and you'd be rewarded. But what if leaning in actually created a trap? In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah unpacks one of the most important shifts she's hearing about in interviews and research conversations around the world: the lean-in generation has quietly become the leaned-on generation. From office housework to being the unofficial encyclopedia of the workplace, Leah breaks down how women's competence, compliance, and care are being exploited — and what it's going to take to make that invisible labor finally visible. Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    15 min

  5. May 26

    Why "What's For Dinner?" Feels So Hard: The Mental Load Behind Every Meal

    Why does figuring out what's for dinner feel so exhausting — every single night? In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner breaks down exactly why dinner time is one of the biggest mental load pain points she hears about across her research and interviews. Spoiler: it's not just about the food. Dinner time activates all eight mental load types simultaneously — from life organization and safety to magic making and dream building — and it's happening inside a food system that is increasingly broken and putting the pressure squarely on parents to fix it. If dinner feels heavier than it should, this episode explains exactly why. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction — why dinner is a mental load disaster 02:23 How the eight mental load types map onto dinner time 02:40 Mental load type 1: Life organization — do you have everything you need? 04:39 Mental load types 2 & 3: Relationship hygiene and emotional support at the table 06:58 Mental load type 4: Magic making — when dinner goes gloriously right 08:00 Anticipating what could go wrong — and chasing the magic anyway 08:30 Mental load type 5: Dream building — dinner as connection time 09:14 Mental load types 6 & 7: Safety and food allergies — when the stakes are life or death 11:35 Mental load type 8: The broken food system and parental guilt 13:51 Why trad wife nostalgia makes sense — and why it's a trap 15:00 Lobbying against nutritious food — and why you're left to solve it alone 16:05 What to do: share the load, use AI, let the kids cook, let go of control 18:25 Is dinner time a doom drain or a magical moment for you? Resources Mentioned: 📘 Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More 🧠 Free Mental Load Assessment — https://www.lightenlab.com Stay Connected with Leah: TikTok: @prof.leahruppanner Email: getcrafty@audiocrafty.com Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    20 min

  6. May 19

    How to Do a Mental Load Audit (And Finally Get Your Energy Back)

    You can't fix what you can't see. In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner walks you through the Mental Load Audit — the step-by-step tool at the heart of her book Drained that helps you figure out exactly where your mental energy is going, who's getting it, and whether it's actually aligned with your goals and dreams. This isn't about changing the world or adding more to your plate. It's about getting ruthlessly clear on your spend, dropping what doesn't deserve your energy, and finally starting to work toward what actually matters to you. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction — Drained is out in the world! 02:17 Why telling overwhelmed people to "change the world" is unfair 03:30 What the mental load actually is — a quick refresher 04:33 The three characteristics: invisible, boundaryless, enduring 05:00 Step 1 of the Mental Load Audit — are you in burnout? 05:45 Step 2 — where is your mental load energy going across the 8 types? 06:55 Credits vs. debits — which parts of your mental load fill you up vs. drain you? 07:30 Who is getting your energy — and do they deserve it? 08:30 People pleasing as a mental load drain 09:12 Who goes on the bench — and who gets evicted 09:45 Step 3 — get clear on your dreams, goals and ambitions 10:30 Mental load loves, mental load drops, and mental load mores 11:33 Real example: does a messy house actually matter? 13:57 Understanding your partner's mental load through the lens of their dreams 16:20 You can do this audit alone — you don't need your partner's buy-in 17:30 How to start the conversation from the dream, not the fight 18:19 It's all in the book — worksheets, chapters, and the online appendix Resources Mentioned: 📘 Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More 🧠 Free Mental Load Assessment — https://www.lightenlab.com Stay Connected with Leah: TikTok: @prof.leahruppanner Email: getcrafty@audiocrafty.com Don't miss an episode! Subscribe NOW: /@missperceivedpodcast Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    20 min

  7. May 12

    Maycember Is Real: The Mental Load Spike No One Warned You About

    Have you heard of #Maycember? It's the viral term capturing what parents — especially moms — experience every May: a relentless pile-on of teacher gifts, summer camp signups, end-of-year events, school correspondence on overdrive, and the pressure to make everyone feel celebrated before the school year ends. In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner breaks down why this isn't just a busy season — it's a mental load spike driven by broken systems, eroded safety nets, and a culture that asks individual parents to solve what should be collective problems. If you're feeling overwhelmed right now, this episode will validate exactly why. Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    16 min

  8. May 5

    Let Them: Why Letting Go and Delegating Feels So Hard

    In this episode of Missperceived, Leah paints a painfully familiar picture: you finally hand off a task—signing the permission slip, managing a parent’s medication, organizing a meal—and instead of feeling lighter, you feel more anxious. You worry they’ll forget, won’t follow instructions, or won’t do it the way you know would make your child or parent feel truly cared for. Leah unpacks why delegation is so emotionally loaded, especially for women who’ve been set up as default caregivers for kids, partners, friends, coworkers, and aging parents. She connects this to a growing care crisis, where more and more women are being squeezed between supporting their own households and looking after older relatives, often at the cost of their paid work and wellbeing. Drawing on her book Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More and her “audit” tool, she shares how to decide what to hand off, who to trust with it, and—crucially—how to stop tracking and overthinking once you’ve delegated, so other people actually get the chance to step up and grow. Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    13 min
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Trailer

About

Leah Ruppanner is a no-nonsense Sociologist from the University of Melbourne on a mission to dispel society’s biggest and most divisive gender myths. In MissPerceived, Leah will tackle pervasive questions and draw upon decades of academic research and evidence to debunk the gender myths that benefit no one - showing that women aren’t better than men at seeing mess or multitasking, and that men aren’t bumbling caregivers who can’t change a diaper or find the keys. MissPerceived will show how as a society we use these myths to explain gender inequality and maintain the status quo. Leah doesn’t shy away from tough topics and touches on all those messy conversations about life including sex, relationships, work, parenting, and self-help. MissPerceived showcases how we got here, where we need to go next, and how to get there. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Information

  • Creator
    Audiocrafty
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    111
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    MissPerceived

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